Marie Kondo-ing leads to a cycle of tossing anything that doesn’t currently make your heart skip a beat, and incessant repurchasing, often at increasingly higher purchase points, to get new things that do.

Kkards - I don’t take what you’re as harsh or negative either . I’m right there with you .

Runcarla, really enjoyed your very "talk the talk, walk the walk" description of your secondhand experience.

I do not, at this time, buy from secondhand stores but I did, almost exclusively, for years.

I donate anything that I don't wear anymore, always in very good to excellent condition and am pretty matter of fact about it emotionally. The value of the item doesn't have to end with me for it to have been an interesting experience.

Thrillingly, the transfer station of the town my daughter lives in now accepts food waste for composting and old clothing etc for fiber recycling.

Kkards, right?! No need for anyone to justify or explain themselves, as we would ALL be in the same boat and equally "guilty" either way. We are all here for the shared interest in adornment and style, and on electronic lithium driven devices

I understand that wasn't what you were referring to runCarla. I want to add that I only donate items in mint condition. Rags I keep at home.

Kkards, no worries re “harshness”. Plain language is much better than the common putative “positive phrasing” that makes everyone do backflips & twists to figure out what someone else means! That’s as insidious as the “popular girls” biting the corners of their mouths to make themselves smile. Idk what you mean by “cook local” but I do mostly eat what’s in season and try to get things that were grown as close to home as possible—whether it’s produce or t-shirts, that global shipping adds up. If what you mean is that it isn’t always possible to live in ways that support the economies we’d like to support, I agree. See Synne’s comment re digital devices.

Cat2, got it about the photos. You often describe interesting looks, but clearly have reasons not to post, so I won’t push. I agree with you about plastics/polyester & about Kondo. There’s a reason her popularity is high among people with higher income levels. If you purge things just because they don’t make you happy (as if that’s what objects should do), you will need the disposable income to buy replacements eventually.

On some people not liking other people's straightforward responses to the question, I suggest we tone down the emotion in general. Hand-wringing and feeling guilty aren’t going to make any actual change, and can rob us of the energy to do the things that matter. (That’s my general position on many, many things—white guilt, tracking macros, vegetarianism, driving SUVs, etc—either do the thing or don’t, but beating yourself up doesn’t help). If you’re convinced that doing things differently would be better, then make that change.

I’m one who is not doing the thing—I’ve been talking about buying second-hand since before the pandemic. Seems I’d rather buy nothing but shoes & undies, looking at my purchases. Those aren’t things I would buy secondhand, and I wear them out thoroughly before getting rid of them. I made an exception 2 days ago—the underpants looked fine, but I had to hitch them up repeatedly. At one point, when my hands were full, I was eyeing spots I could kick them to if they came down. Not keeping them, and they aren’t absorbent enough to be rags. They are in the bag of fabric to be recycled. True story, told because i think this conversation could use a little levity.

What I've noticed about thrift shopping is that I tend to be most successful when I'm not looking for anything in particular. Many of my favorite, wear-til-it's-threadbare things were serendipitous thrift store finds. You have to go in with the mentality of letting the right thing jump out at you, rather than hunting down something specific, but it doesn't make for the most practical wardrobe-building strategy.

It's also a method that doesn't really work with online secondhand shopping, and when I buy things from Poshmark, eBay, etc I tend to be buying an exact replacement or duplicate for the aforementioned serendipitous favorites, or stalking a secondhand version of something that sold out before I could snag it at retail.

What does not work for me is trying to find a secondhand item according to a very specific set of criteria. I've fallen into the trap of shopping this way, usually when I have a retail item in mind that's out of my comfort zone pricewise, and I really I should just buy the thing itself rather than buying a few not-quite-right secondhand substitutes first -- or else let it go altogether, because if I'm hesitating over price in the first place it's usually a sign I can forget about it and move on.

La Ped - me too! The below second hand finds were lucky purchases that I came across.

Online I only tend to buy bags (great success with five excellent second hand bags over about six years) and last year, blazers. I am targeted to brands that I know and trust the sizing on.

I’m going to admit I buy too many things, sometimes end up donating things after having never worn them, buy a few things for single use or special occasions, buy some things I end up not liking so I donate them. All a big waste I’m sure. I used to shop thrift, sew my own clothes and wear hand me downs, but not any more. I’m generally frugal, but guilty as charged.

thanks for the interesting post, and your reasons resonate with me also for donating and evaluating my wardrobe. I have always enjoyed the thrift store, for a variety of reasons. I love vintage, I enjoy the hunt and finding unique items. we have a fantastic thrift store near our home that receives incredible high quality donations.

It can be difficult to find things that fit so that keeps it interesting. Maybe 1/2 of my wardrobe is thrifted? I have never counted. But it also helps to find things that are affordable for my budget, it is amazing how many current season items get purchased and are not quite right, and end up at the thrift or ebay --just waiting for the right person

I am currently working to downsize my moms incredibly large wardrobe as she is experiencing alzheimers and it has to be done. It helps to know someone will appreciate being able to purchase these quality donated items at an affordable price, (and since some came from the thrift store --its a big circle!)

PS: Carla I have nice soft cotton shirts I can send you for your next mask making! PM me your address and I'd be happy to

I donate some of my clothes in good condition to thrift stores. I’m aware that not everything will be sold due to a number of reasons. My only consolation that all my clothes made of natural fabrics and will not pollute the environment. I donate mostly when items don’t fit properly anymore or very few purchasing mistakes. Some of our worn out clothes or linens we reuse for rags, covers to be used when we do a renovation projects in our house or backyard work.
I tried to shop at thrift store but unsuccessfully. There are reasons for that - I only buy brands that I know, only natural fiber garments in very limited color palette, my petite size is a problem, too and I don’t wear vintage styles. Also, shopping at thrift stores is time consuming. I would like to get something from online shops like RealReal but it is cost prohibitive due to our custom charges and returns are problematic.
I’ve been to some consignment stores but haven’t seen anything I liked.
When I buy anything, I’m committed to wear it as long as possible and never buy a garment with an intention to wear it for one or two seasons. But my style evolves and my 2 pairs of perfectly good slim jeans went to find a better home.

First, I agree that judgement doesn't help much. Generally speaking, we all have areas in which we could improve our environmental awareness - meat consumption, eating local, technology, autos/public trans, too much house, too much travel, investment awareness, companies we support, recycling... on and on it goes.

I recently had a rather large change in sizes - clothing AND shoes - so I did a lot of donating. I didn't have a lot of other options. I am trying to repurchase more carefully and sustainably.

I do not shop second hand myself. The shops tend to irritate my allergies, and I can never be sure items come from pet free homes. I have been an irresponsible consumer as far as clothing goes in the past, but when we know better we do better, and I'm trying to do better going forward. I don't carry guilt over it; we do the best we can with what we have and what we know.

Sal and laPed, thanks for your comments on thrifting. That might be the key to why it doesn’t really work for me. I’ve tried looking for jeans and a summer dress, but what I want is much more specific than those words suggest. Going in with an open mind sounds like back to school shopping trips when I was growing up & needed a new size every year. I haven’t had that kind of blank slate in a while.

RC, you and Angie are my wardrobe organisation heroes. You’ve got it all worked out.

I am far from perfect, but trying to improve.

I mentally divide my wardrobe into 2 types of items:
*Icon items (smaller proportion of my wardrobe). These are items of high joy value, with a degree of timelessness. They are often (but not always) statement items. They may only get occasional wear, which is ok by me. I plan/hope to keep these for a long time. Maybe forever.
*Essential/everyday items (larger proportion of my wardrobe). These are more everyday or support act items eg jeans, boots, sandals, sneakers, knits, shorts, some skirts, tees. I plan/hope to wear these items a lot, so that eventually I wear them out.

I donate unwanted items that are worn out to a commercial recycling business.

I donate unwanted items that are unworn or gently used but still wearable to 2 local charity stores for resale. The items that I donate for resale are usually mistakes, items that I have tired of or items that I am no longer have the occasion to wear (many office wear items have gone there lately). They could be either (failed) icons or essentials.

I always feel bad about the mistakes and am trying to get better at avoiding them (I could do a separate post on my strategies in that department). But I don’t see the point in hanging onto something that I am not wearing and cannot envisage myself wearing at any point in the future, especially when it might work for someone else. All my edits are careful. I will do an outfit creation session based solely on the item in question to try to make it work for me. And I repurpose when I can.

I am reasonably confident my donated items find a new home. I have been at one store when my newly donated items were put out on the racks. And one of the stores that I donate to actively calls for more in season clothing donations, so I don’t think they are over supplied. (I donate in season.)

I also shop second hand but with mixed results. It is time consuming and harder (in my view) to find that perfect item that you’ve been looking for. It works better for more impulsive, wild card purchases. I think it’s a good way to experiment with a look, if you are not sure about it. (I recently bought a sequin belt at my local charity store. I think I may be donating it back soon.)

Please let us not all fiddle while Rome (Athens) burns. Anyone who takes the trouble to sort and donate their clothes, recycle their trash, consider their purchases, etc. needs to be applauded. If everyone simply stopped purchasing new lots of economies would break down. There are no easy solutions but donating your clothes to a charity shop - for whatever reason - is not the problem.

@Brooklyn, I am always on the lookout on ideas how to avoid ill purchases. If you have any tips and are willing to post separately, it'd be an interesting post! I think one of the best tips I got it here in this forum, it was advised to write a non-shopping list and it has proved to be quite helpful!

I’m with Shevia. I do the best I can and I try not to judge…we all leave our footprints on this earth, just in different ways.

I try to keep worn-out items with little life left in them for cleaning rags. Other items I donate to St. Vincent de Paul, a Catholic charity that runs thrift shops among its other activities. I admit I have not done a deep dive into the organization, but I do know really awesome, selfless people who volunteer there so I am comfortable with my choice.

I have tried thrift shopping and rarely find anything and when I do it rarely gets worn. I don't know why, I think the low price entices me to purchase something I might not normally. I do have to disagree that only high quality items make it into the stores - I actually was at a Goodwill just this Saturday and the racks were full of brands from inexpensive stores. I don't really think that's a bad thing anyway - lots of people can't afford a $20 tee but a $3 tee is much more reasonable for them.

I do purchase intending to wear until it dies - sometimes that happens but often not and I try to learn from it without feeling guilty - haha easier said than done! That is one reason I hang out here - to figure out how to purchase in a way that is smarter.

Carla - I love the masks you make! Is it a pattern?

Minaminu - I have a no more list and find this super helpful too.

Environmental and waste issues are fraught to discuss or act on, and it is really hard not to feel defensive, or on the other hand to sound judgemental. We do need to keep having them though - and I think most of us do well on some things and not so well on others. I keep trying to use my car less. I keep trying to cook more plant based meals.

I also think donating to charity shops of lightly worn pieces is a great thing - and a small plug for Dress for Success for business attire in all sizes....our local branch is often short of bags as well. The women going in there really appreciate being gifted an interview outfit and then a couple of work outfits too.

I am most happy when I can pass my gently worn/no longer right for me things to someone I know. For years I have shared my clothes in perfect condition with our sweet house cleaner. She happily wears my things, and I know that she has a community with which she can share what doesn't work for her. I give things to a couple of friends who are slightly smaller than I am when they don't fit me well - they've both loved everything. I can pass some of my shoes that are feeling a little tight to my sister who has a less wide, less fussy foot, and she's been delighted with her scores lately. I know I need to cut back on the buying. I think boredom and always being online has contributed to the accumulation problem.

I'm less happy when I donate to Goodwill. I was there the other day and you just know that those huge cardboard boxes full of junk must never really get sorted out. I am glad to hear that the textiles have a destination. When I was a runner it seemed like several running stores would take back worn shoes, but the other day I tried to find a place to take a recent discarded pair and the only thing I could find online was Nike, which is not close by.

My mother cannot part with anything without tremendous stress. "It's in perfectly good condition!" Hence enormous clutter, and about a dozen pairs of similar white crops that do not even flatter her, which makes me crazy! She's also stingy about donating .Last year my sister and I did a complete kitchen reorg for her, and bought her new, matching, modern, plain dishware and glassware from Crate & Barrell. She insisted on taking everything we cleared out to a thrift shop -but it was so much useless junk. I think the quite low-end thrift shop even rejected a lot of it, and she barely got pennies back on anything that sold.

She has thanked us many times for making her do the kitchen, and admits that the way we (and by "we" I mean my sister!) reorganized has been wonderful. Baby steps.

Just wanted to comment on Marie Kondo, her book is very geared towards Japan and Japanese culture. It was translated from Japanese but written about her experience in Japan and Japanese clients. Here there is a culture of "mottainai" which means not to waste. People keep literally EVERYTHING they ever come into contact with over the years. It gets passed to them from parents and other well meaning people. People have the idea that Japanese houses are all minimal and Zen. It couldn't be further from the truth. Most are more like a hoarder's house, especially the older generation. When people here see very minimal houses they imagine its a foreigner house. Not wanting to waste anything is very admirable but I think Kondo point out that keeping everything "just in case" very much means you are already wasting it. You aren't probably evening using half the things you have.

@Joy where is your son living? I am up north in Sendai.

As for me, I usually wear things completely out (like until it literally is threadbare) but since I have less than 20 wardrobe pieces it happens very quickly as I wear everything almost every week. I have made some bad purchases though. Even recently a shirt I bought got to me too slowly to be able to return and it really didn't look good nor was it good quality despite it being very expensive. I haven't removed the tags so going to try sell on ebay. And a pair of jeans a couple years ago that I got in the wrong size, returned for the size bigger had to pay more import fees and return postage costs (international) and then the new size didn't fit properly. Instead of returning again I settled and squeezed myself in. Bad decision. I don't feel comfortable in them. I have worn them about twice and I really need to donate to someone who would wear them.

Talking of secondhand shopping, I used to do so much in the UK as I would find my size. Its not much of a thing here but there are expensive boutique consignment stores. The clothes and shoes are never my size but I've bought designer bags from there before (and sold them back after I had finished with them. Many people seem to do that, I suppose its more like renting )

I feel the need to put in a plug for local Buy Nothing groups, if there is one in your area. Recently some of our usual local donation places are not accepting more items (although a local consignment charity has opened up again), but the local BN group has been fantastic. There is always someone in need of good items to wear and use. Just today our local chairperson picked up a carload of things for two young mothers who are getting out of abusive homes and need things for them and their children. Turns out she also volunteers for the local SPCA and took a lot of extra pet items we no longer needed as well.

Oh you are so right, Janet. Free Cycle is brilliant IMO.

Yes! I'm in many groups on Facebook connecting immigrants that live in Japan. We are quite a small group considering the size of Japan but we tend to pass items to one another as many of us have problems with the size of the clothes available in Japan. There are usually takers for most things