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Up in my feelings

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I just need to vent. I feel.as if people don't take my feelings into consideration. I was invited to a photo shoot for people who.had birthdays in may. Mine is Nay 9th. I was told at the last minute. I said I did not have black with me which was the color scheme.

I was asked to come anyway. So I did I took a few pictures of the group of ladies but the photographer said he could not shoot me. So I understood and make the best of the situation by talking to the other men there other photographers and artist.

I stayed until.the end but was feeling some type of way. By allowing myself to get all emotional and feeling like the kid nobody wanted on there team at school.

I dont know why I did not leave so please don't ask. alright you can ask. I really have to think about it.

So anyway I did the next best thing. I took pictures and selfies. If your still reading thank you. If you want to respond thank you also l
I feel like hybernating Away FROM PEOPLE FOR awhile. I will be better with a new day I just needed to vent. These are pictures I took. I like being outside anyway.

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29 replies

Latest reply was from Adelfa

Debbie

Veteran

Ladonna your feelings were hurt and for the record mine would have been to. I admire you for sticking it out and making the best of an uncomfortable situation. It shows your character and what a wonderful person you are inside and out! I hope tomorrow is a better day.

BrieN

Veteran

I'm sorry it turned out to be such a rotten night. I think sometimes when you're a real optimist you can think "if I stay a bit longer it has to improve -- there must be a way to salvage this"

Now-a-days if there is even the smallest inkling that it's not going to be a feel-good event for me, I tell myself ahead of time I'll stay for 30-45 minutes and then go. It helps me to deal with the situation on my own terms.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

Well, their loss and they missed out on photographing someone with a beautiful spirit and quite fabulous hair! Hope tomorrow is a better day.

rachylou

Veteran

People just don't know how to behave. That's badly done of them. Not at all fair to you. Your time is valuable. But I will admit not many know how to handle things, which is why diplomacy is a profession...

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Thank you ladies after a bit of a rest I am looking on the brighter side. I know that next time offered something like this. It will be a kind but firm no. Thank you for the empathy and kind words.

Debbie-It was uncomfortable and awkward. I try to find the best in every situation. I have been uncomfortable and awkward before. I will try not to let it be intentional. Some things I don't have to do.

BrieN- Born and bred pessimist I have to constantly affirm that the world is a good place. I will remind myself of this statement which I think is great. "
Now-a-days if there is even the smallest inkling that it's not going to be a feel-good event for me, I tell myself ahead of time I'll stay for 30-45 minutes and then go. It helps me to deal with the situation on my own terms."

columbine-thank you. thank you thank you

rachylou-"
But I will admit not many know how to handle things, which is why diplomacy is a profession...

" Yep and Yep

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Sorry to hear this happened to you. It's all kinds of wrong.
Your photos are amazing.

Sally

Veteran

Nice photos. I like outside better too. It's a shame people didn't take your feelings into consideration. ...I hate it when that happens. I have been at gatherings like that and people are surprised when I get up and leave early. You could always point their carelessness out to them (my sister has to share her feelings in that way ) or take some time to yourself (my method for getting over things is to walk it out) and have a plan for if the situation happens again in the future.

Deborah

Veteran

I am really sorry you had this experience. It's never ok to exclude someone and sadly this is what they did. You are a beautiful person from what I know and see of you and it sounds you managed a very difficult situation well and with grace.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Thank you once again I will now be better prepared if the situation happens again or something similar. It is really insignificant on the larger scale of things. Thank you for letting me vent and showing empathy.

Helen11

Veteran

Hope you are feeling a bit better and can put this behind you (sometimes easier said than done!) I think even having a good vent is therapeutic. I like your selfie in #5 : )

Eliza

Veteran

Nice photos. Sorry for the way this played out. A couple of more inclusive shots could have been fun for all. Yet, it is easy for people to get all caught up in the plan and there they stay. I've done it on occasion and later wondered how I missed a particular variable or opportunity. Maybe they had second thoughts afterwards, too. Hang in there.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, Ledonna. Your hurt feelings are justified, and I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. (((HUGS)))

Know that we love your pics on YLF, and you will always be part of this team. Rock on.

Anonymous

Hope you're feeling better, LeDonna. It was an unfortunate experience, but it does not diminish your fabulosity one bit. It was wise and healthy of you to vent your emotions in a safe environment. I'd say you handled it in a very classy way, so props to you.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Thank you all.so much. As the sun is shinning it puts all things perspective. This is just a moment on my journey.

I feel like this is a safe space to vent.

I wonder if people ever think about things that may hurt others. I n look at things like that and try not to do it.

It is the humanity in us that gets us caught up. Thank you for allowing me space

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing today. It's wonderful to have this safe space, and I'm glad you used it.

abc

Veteran

Glad you shared. Looks like you're in a better place.

I've learned but have to constantly remind myself - my decisions aren't set in stone. If I decide to go somewhere, if I don't like it, I can just as easily decide to leave. Sometimes I have to work on giving myself permission to do what **I** need or want to do rather than sacrificing my well being for the perceived feelings of others. I'm getting better at it but it's hard. As a people pleaser its difficult sometimes but I'm doing better. Hope these words strike a chord with you and may help some way, as small as it may be.

Anonymous

I'm sorry for you it hurts my heart but be you yourself are a beautiful girl

Ledonna N.

Veteran

ABC your words of wisdom are exactly what I need. For some reason I put others wants and needs above my own. That is something I thought I had matured past but it it a constant reminder that I must be vigilant. Thank you.

Thanks you Benard62thank I am much better.

Joyce B

Veteran

So sorry that they did that to you. Some people never grow up, they just stay clicky. You are a fabulous lady and you don't need any validation from them. A big hug from me.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Joyce B thank you for you support its all good now . Must reminder need validation from no one.

RobinF

Veteran

Aw what a shame that happened. We all need to vent sometimes, glad you are feeling better. And for the record, I think your outfit would have fit in just fine, it was very restrained while still being you

Glory

Veteran

I think your feelings were very justified. You can only manage how you handle things and I think you did a stellar job. Your photos are excellent and you made the best of a poorly managed situation. I like the idea of having an exit strategy (30 minutes) for the next time. You are truly a generous and giving person!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

You'll always be someone WE WANT on our YLF team, Ledonna Youre beautiful and smart and strong and sassy and we love all of those things!

The pics look great. I like outdoors more too.

I don't remember how old I was when I realised I hate having my feelings hurt, but i do know I was young. I'm very social, can talk for hours, but I just don't let people *in*. I think I'm trying to tell you that sometimes, having a wall around your heart is not a bad thing. Especially in a world like THIS.

I don't feel bad saying that I'm selfish. I am. Because I look out FOR ME. I'm also very protective by nature, so when I do let people into my heart & my life, I would protect them from everything. I try never to hurt others....but I don't get hurt easily myself...because most people don't have the power to hurt me. I think you need to try that.

Take away from others the power to hurt you, to cause you anxiety, to make you feel like you don't matter. And then....then you can enjoy human company without it causing you pain....

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I will honor your words of wisdom Maneera and I fully understand.

Anonymous

Amen to that, Maneera. I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said that "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." I am constantly reminding myself of that, and it is very empowering.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I think it's a human trait to be able to feel emotions emotions are valid extension of Who You Are. We're human we get caught up we're sad we cry we laugh we feel hurt and to acknowledge that and to move on no I don't let anybody control my emotions but I'm human and I feel a certain way at certain time just like all of us do. I want forward and I moved forward knowing that it's okay to guard my heart and to feel how I'm going to feel and I think all of us do you learn and you grow and you learn and you grow and then you can't hurt it happens I accept that because I accept all of my Human Experience but I think that it's right that we give up our way once we if we continue to dwell on what was or what hurt us it is the process of moving forward when we begin to heal and I definitely understand that I just lost myself for a minute thank you for responding again bye

Anonymous

Um, okay, it was just a random thought, not any kind of personal attack. Have yourself a great day!

Anonymous

This sounds so awful. I would have whisked you away immediately share a glass of wine.

Adelfa

Veteran

I think what Maneera says sounds great but I can't even imagine being able to be like that. I do get hurt. I move on, and mostly don't dwell, but I do get hurt.