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Unshopping Inspiration

Anonymous

I mentioned in my travel post that my dad dragged me to a flea market. It was crowded, huge, and mostly just a jumble of random things. Not my vibe- to put it mildly.

In contrast, most of my shopping is done in small, curated boutiques. Some consignment too, but the small, more curated ones. I got to thinking about the experience of shopping vs the actual products.

From now on (ok as long as I remember to do so- let's be real), I will try to picture the thing I want to buy in a jumble sale like this (or alternately a crowded Goodwill). Does the quality or design stand out enough that I would quickly notice it in a stressful, chaotic situation like that? Would it be put aside in a case or displayed in a way to show it was "better"? Or would it just be crammed with the rest of the clutter?

Does the shopping experience get you to buy things that might not be that special or right for you, or alternately, put you off to even browsing?
ETA- I don't mean only clothes here!

Shopping

41 replies

Latest reply was from

Liz

Veteran

I had a similar experience some years ago. I realized that when I'm in a beautiful shop with items displayed to perfection, I want to be part of that and take that feeling and look home with me. i want my life to feel like that shop feels. If I buy___ and they wrap it in tissue and hand me that beautiful bag, then all that gloss will come home with me and I'll be a person like that. (Right?) So I started doing what you're doing: picturing the item drooping off a hanger on the clearance rack at my local messy, overstuffed, sad, off-price store. Would I still be enamored with it if I saw it there? Or would the glow come off it? It helped me see when I wanted to buy the "glow" and when I truly wanted the item itself, no matter where it came from.

kkards

Veteran

Hmmmm, what does it say about me that I love small curated boutiques and flea markets.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m the kind of person who can see the potential in things that are not presented nicely. (What a surprise from the woman who finds beauty to photograph in eyesores, right?) I love shopping in nicer, more curated environments, but if I’m in the right mood, I can absolutely mine a less-than-ideal venue for hidden gems. That’s part of why I kind of loved the old discount designer stores like Off Fifth, Loehmann’s, etc. I enjoy a little luxury in my shopping experience now and then, but I also enjoy the thrill of the great discount find in a chaotic environment, as long as the chaos isn’t too massive or off-putting. I do have to be in the right mood, though.

Jules

Veteran

I was thinking along somewhat similar lines re: Nordstrom leaving Canada. Department store shopping isn’t my thing because I’d rather comb through multiple brands online from the comfort of my home and with the luxury of time and a sense that once I do narrow down my options, my size and colour will be in stock and without sending a sales person back to the storeroom for another pair of shoes, etc. When shopping in person I prefer a curated experience - a single brand or point-of-view selection in a nicely merchandised store with good service (or enough sense to leave me alone when that’s what I want!).
Not totally on topic to what you posted about I guess! I do appreciate the ‘unshopping’ inspiration and may use it on my upcoming trip to Paris - ‘would
I buy this at home from a department store or do I have trip goggles on?’

Irina

Veteran

Well, I don’t know if it’s the same. When I enter a small, well curated boutique with beautiful displays, alarm bells start ringing in my head “expensive, expensive, expensive “. And I want to run away. I make myself to check the inventory and prices. In 90% cases I’m right, this and very limited return policies put me off shopping in boutiques.

CarolS

Veteran

I love the look of a beautifully curated boutique but feel much more at home looking for potential and digging for hidden gems - to a limit.

Marshall’s and Winners can be fun. A reasonably organized thrift store - fun. But I truly found my limit last week.

I was visiting my parents in the Rio Grande Valley and they took me first ti a flea market and then to a what they called the Ropas Usada. Not sure if I got the spelling right.

Anyway - it is a giant warehouse piled with bales and bales of discarded clothing and other textile goods. Some brand new with tags. Most probably not.

Shoppers dig through giant piles on the floor or waist-high cardboard boxes.

Bales of clothing tower at least ten feet high. A forklift moves bales, boxes, and piles around the facility.

You pay for your purchases by the pound.

My reaction was probably not helped by the 90 degree temperature that day, but I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I felt sick seeing the ocean of discarded items and realizing how much I have contributed to it over my life.

My parents have actually found the odd nice thing there, and it’s apparently a popular destination for many of the retirees in their park. I suspect many of the flea market vendors must buy things there to resell.

I am sorry I didn’t have the presence of mind to take any pictures. I was too busy watching my mom to make sure she didn’t wander in front of a forklift.

SarahD8

Veteran

So funny -- horses for courses indeed. I personally love the thrill of the hunt, I adore poking through jumbles of pottery vases at the goodwill to find the handmade one with the cool glaze.

Even I have my limits though. Goodwill yes, goodwill outlet no.

I like your mental exercise though suntiger and I'm pondering what my equivalent would be!

Dee

Veteran

For me, merchandising can be everything.

Many years ago, where I worked, we had a display cabinet for some souvenirs we sold. When a box of replica Inuit stone carvings would come in, wrapped in newsprint, some even broken, let me tell you, they didn’t look special. However, once placed on the black velvet and with the halogen lighting of the display case, they looked expensive and sold very well.

I don’t mind a little bit of clutter and jumble as long as its not too chaotic, but I’m definitely nervous in well curated and beautifully displayed high end boutiques. Give me a middle of the road store, with a decent selection that’s organized, some inspirational displays and where no one bothers you much as you browse

ETA CarolS what you’re describing sounds awful, and I hate the thought of that staggering amount of clothing. So much waste Yikes!!

unfrumped

Veteran

I’m affected by lighting ( that may improve after eye surgery!).
The local Goodwills have terrible lighting plus I can never figure out how they’ve organized things. This affects how I can “ see” their clothing, which is typically darker and of course more smooshed in racks, more that their glassware type things on shelves.
TJMAXX has a low likelihood of real gems( ours doesn’t have any Runway section like I’ve seen in some bigger cities) but is pretty well- lighted. So I can search pretty quickly and also look for different sizes. But it’s frustrating when I occasionally find something I really like but only in wrong size.

I like to return to our very few boutiques from time to time because they carry some different brands and a chance of a great but unusual item. but usually their stuff is either a little or a lot too “ weird “ for me, meaning, some embellishment or cutouts or something that is unwearable to me. Their stuff is pricey but I’d guess that it’s more the styles and fit that limits more than price.
I’d like it if we had stand-alone stores of specific higher- quality brands in my “ aesthetic “, to get to see more of their collections IRL.

I do like department stores for being able to see a number of different brands at one time, and try things on.

LJP

Veteran

I'm absolutely affected by the environment around me. If it's too loud, smells weird, too dark, too crammed with merchandise, I'm not going in. Places like Winners and Marshalls and most thrift shops give me sensory overload . The only store like that that I *do* like is Homesense , oddly. Give me well-merchandised, tidy, bright and open spaces with neatly folded merchandise and I'm happy as a clam

ChristelJ

Veteran

Interesting thread. In thrift stores, I enjoy the chaos. Scanning the jumble and junk, when the gems emerge, they seem all the more precious. I do love the hunt, the price range, and the recycling aspect. Over the years, I have honed my skills at determining whether something will be as appealing once I get it home, whether I need and want it, and I'm very choosy now even with the one dollar sort of items.

On the other hand, many boutiques make me feel like an imposter the minute I walk in. Rarely do the salespeople leave one alone in small stores, and I have bought things out of sympathy or confusion or being intimidated. Then I kick myself when I get home. As a result, I am cautious about going into boutiques at all. The window displays really have to draw me in. Once inside, the vibe has to be low-pressure, or I'm outa there!

Roberta

Veteran

A small, highly curated boutique makes me nervous, I'll admit. I'm sure that nothing on the rack will fit me, and I can't afford the accessories. I love a small ethnic store piled with scarves and jewelry and bags and figurines and ceramics, though.

Smell also plays a big part. I find thrift shops always smell funky, and I can't bear them, no matter how well lit they are. But Anthropologie, with its balance of candles and crisp new clothing, suits me to a tee. Lush gives me a headache, as much as I like their wares.

CarolS

Veteran

Just popping back to agree with the comments about boutiques making me uncomfortable -- feeling I don't quite belong. Even if I want to try something on, more often than not I won't.

I am very much inside my own head when I shop, and don't really want an SA who doesn't know me offering advice or opinions. And although I enjoy looking at well-merchandised displays, I do prefer seeing my own vision for something.

Runcarla

Veteran

Like Irina and Roberta I get suspicious in shops that are overly curated. I can usually see past less organized displays and find what I’m looking for or source out treasures. Colour and feel are big attractants, and then it’s flipping of tags for information - where it’s made, fabric content, laundering care, etc.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Just the thought of the exercise you suggest stresses me out. I'm actually finding it interesting...why does the thought of picturing something in a jumble sale spark anxiety in me? It's probably rooted in the same reason why I keep a smaller wardrobe and organize my closet just-so.

slim cat

Veteran

I'm with @Irina - i fell like a wrong person at the small beautiful stores.
Marshall's could be overwhelming but I usually try to stay focused on my fav colors and the right merchandise .

cat2

Veteran

Gosh, I haven’t shopped in person in ages. We usually make one Christmas trip out to see the puppies up for adoption at Macy’s and enjoy the lights, but everything else is online.

Anonymous

Yikes re: forklift! That's appalling!

I'm kinda ok with digging, but not if the store is crowded. The crowd and noise was a big part of my issue with the flea market. Just too much going on all round!

Interesting many of you are uncomfortable with boutiques! Maybe the difference is it's a small town and I talk to the owners when I'm in. The prices are generally about like department stores (which intimidate me in person), maybe a bit more, but nothing crazy. Besides I figure they remember that I make a couple good size purchases a year on the days when I pop in and buy nothing or something small

judy

Veteran

On overly curated b and m environments, I can relate to both feeling a little nervous...is it a museum or a store?...and wanting to take that "oh everything is so perfect" feeling home with me. I'm more at ease in a Goodwill or jumbled environment. I think it can depend on mood though, too. Sometimes I used to love the hunt, especially for things like dishes and art in junky places. It's fun to exercise our eyes to select beauty out of the chaos.

In those small boutiques, they've done the hunting, so everything is good, even if it isn't for me. The place I've bought clothes from online recently is a very curated boutique and I'm glad for the selecting the owner has already done. I think you just have to find a place that matches your vibe...? I like browsing online boutiques because I run into brands doing very interesting clothes I wouldn't know about otherwise. Guess the hunt has moved much more online for me these days.

Sometimes I like the chaos of an in person store. When I was a child I used to go with my grandmother to the old Filenes Basement store in Boston. It had an entrance directly from the subway. And no dressing rooms, so women would strip right down and try things on. It was like a big party, at least to me as a very little one. Women helping other women about what fit and what looked good. At a retail store I used to work at in the 80's, the dressing rooms were separated by gorgeous heavy fabric curtains (we sold clothes, fabric and home goods all by our brand). At our twice yearly sales, we'd pull back the curtains to make one big room so more people could try on clothes at once and we noticed how much it boosted sales. Also, any time of year putting items into a basket rather than hanging them would convince people to buy them more too.

Echo

Veteran

It is likely this is because of my location, but our Marshall's and TJ Maxx stores are all small and laid out well. It is likely because they have less merchandise than in larger, more metropilitan areas. But overall I like Marshall's and TJ Maxx as well as nicer malls. Boutiques here tend to carry such limited merchandise (often that isn't my style) and have such "attentive" staff that they are stifling to me.

I cannot do thrift stores because my allergies go crazy in them. I am also not fond of used items and things that are organized by color instead of size. Flea markets are a nightmare for me.

So I guess I enjoy the sweet spot in the middle. Well-maintained and organized department stores are generally just right for me, and I am less comfortable in either very small boutiques or very large, disorganized stores.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I can find pleasure in any shopping environment

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Great thread Suntiger. Fits quite nicely with my “Cheap as Chips?” thread actually.
I’m with Irina, some of those very curated boutiques do have that warning light ringing “Expensive, expensive, expensive” and mostly I’m correct if I get that feeling. I might try your trick though Suntiger!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Well I don't have infinite patience for heaps of junk, but I do have quite a lot! Looking for a needle in a haystack is kind of my thing, as long as I have some sign of hope.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I also like what CristelJ and CarolS and Roberta and slimcat said. I can feel like I don’t belong in those boutiques- like I felt yesterday a bit with that snooty-seeming SA.
And like CarolS I am quite in my head when I shop, because I am the one who knows what I have at home and what might work with those items.

Sloper

Veteran

I love a big, beautiful department store (and mall). Lived in NYC a couple of decades ago and was thoroughly spoiled by the “motherships” like Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s, Saks. I know their suburban versions don’t quite match up, but some are quite swell. Unfortunately off-limits to me now (Covid x health reasons).

Small boutiques intimidate me. Flea markets and thrift stores were fun in college penny-pinching days - when looking for funky clothes for the disco, or when furnishing one’s first apartment. Now just not my thing. I don’t mind a jumbled display, I just feel like my house is already jumbled enough, and I don’t need to bring anymore “interesting” stuff into it.

anchie

Veteran

I am somewhere in the middle. I don’t like SA pressure or snootiness in small curated boutiques, but I also get overwhelmed in too crowded and poorly organized stores.

jussie

Veteran

I probably like department stores best I guess, lots of variety, not too much need to talk to SAs. However I still sometimes enjoy thrift and boutiques, as long as the boutiques are friendly and not too over the top, and as long as the thrift isn’t too smelly and stuffy.

Sal

Veteran

I can do any quite happily. My favourite is a boutique with a range of brands and good mirrors. Second equal probably a mid range chain store or a thrift or consignment store. I have enjoyed Myer in Melbourne or Ballantyne in ChCh - but locally the dept store here I mostly avoid.

Olive Green

Veteran

Only small curated boutique I have ever loved went down after the pandemic. The owner was from Maine and had to learn that navy did not sell in Texas, but after that, she had fab, arty pieces and a good range of sizes. It was a monthly stop, and a hilarious gossip center. No snootiness whatsoever, lol. She had an eye, and I took full advantage.
I did happily thrift out of necessity and practicality for many years before it became popular. And before nylon fabrics became ubiquitous.
Department stores, in general, have been less fun as I move into older age territory. I can afford more nice things, but they are not geared to my age and taste.
You know what gets me excited? Gear stores. Still a utilitarian nomad!

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