Uninspired (Rant)

MsLuna

So since my forced break from YLF a little over a month ago, a lot of things happened. I felt less than fabulous in my summer clothing, and I just have been feeling downright frustrated. Within that timeframe, I gained a lot of weight (likely due to stress) and suddenly my body was more challenging to dress for and shop for. Nothing fits. NOTHING!

I try out plus sized clothing but I'm too small. And yet, size 12/14 waistlines fit yet I'm a saggy baggy mess in the lower body. Arms do NOT fit at the top. I've become a walking example of ill-fitting outfits.

And then, there's my hair. I love my haircut and I love it's colours on me, but all my clothes don't look good due to my hair colour shift from a dark cool tone to a lighter medium brown warm tone. So I pretty much look jaundiced in my current high-contrast black/white/jewel tone outfits. I plan to change my metals to burnished copper or gold (instead of silver/pewter), and I'm looking to purchase warmer. Medium contrast shades (I can wear cream and cool browns now).

Shopping this week was painful. While I'm successfully losing weight (my Zara jeans now fall off of me), the pronounced belly (where 90% of my weight goes) makes it so much harder to shop. My belly is getting severely picky as well. Even my ponte dress' waistline seam makes me feel like I can't breathe, and the dress doesn't even hug the body!

And them there's the shoe situation...

I also wrestle with what's fashion-forward and age-appropriate. I have tendencies toward the "edgy rocker look" with a touch of romance, but that can easily make me look like a teenager trying too hard. I also know I am in the company of waist-surrenders, casual styles and those who swear by boyfriend jeans. I know my ultra casual looks ALWAYS get the best compliments, but I'm just not loving the looks. I also tried boyfriend jeans MANY MANY MANY TIMES and tried to force myself in them but I just... Don't love them!

So I'm coming to the point of giving up and wear sweats for the rest of my life my body is so difficult to dress (belly can't be compressed, foot problems). I used to love fashion but now, I think I've lost my fire.

I refuse to give up though, but I'm damn near close to doing it

10 years ago

Dressing

11 replies

Latest reply was from MsLuna

catgirl

Veteran

I am with you! My job schedule has made exercise next to impossible, the weather has been awful, and we have a lot of stress going on due to some family and other stuff (DS's basketball team, of all things, because DH is the coach and there is team drama with parents). I feel yucky in all my clothes and when I come home I change into loungewear and ignore the mirror.

I do not see weight gain or any of the issues you mention in your recent pictures! Keep your chin up and we will get through. It's a journey anyway and things change whether we want it or not. Don't beat yourself up! And know that we all feel the same at some point - me right now too.

10 years ago

Adelfa

Veteran

I'm with you too. I'm working till 8 and that makes healthy eating almost impossible for me. It's a horrible feeling.

10 years ago

MsLuna

Veteran

Thank you for the kind and encouraging words Una! I'm sorry that you're going through a lot of stress and drama at the moment too! Sometimes I feel that what's happening in our lives colours out own personal outlook (including the clothes).

As for weight gain: most people can't see it and for the most part, neither can I. I guess it's because all my weight goes to my belly! I wear a lot of waist surrendering styles to cover that up. But wearing pants just kills me these days. Whenever I bloat up to a certain size (and the rest of my bod except the belly grows), pants get super uncomfortable. The waistline digs, which means I have breathing problems. This is why I've worn exclusively dresses: pants just squish me down, make me uncomfy therefore making me cranky

I guess once I update my wardrobe (first, with stylish comfy shoes) I will start posting outfits again.

10 years ago

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

I feel you on this... I went through an anxiety provoking job search earlier this year & during the process packed on some unneeded weight. I know rationally I can take it back off but emotionally I feel very stuck & beat down by it right now. I'm grateful you guys started this thread because the tendency is to hide in plain sight and suffer in silence, no? And yes, pajama bottoms are my best friends when I get home from work everyday. ~hugs all around~

10 years ago

froggiebecky

Veteran

I feel you on this. I've been busting butt to lose weight, but my butt will not be busted, it seems...

And my foot issues have laid waste to my shoe closet. It's so sad.

And I feel like I need a bit of a style shift.

Don't give up! There's something out there for you.Are you a scarf wearer? could you find something to play nicely with your new warmer tones until the rest of your wardrobe can catch up?

10 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

So sorry you are dealing with this KK. It sounds so frustrating. I know when my weight was up, I pretty much did give up for years and just wore one pair of jeans and yoga pants. Not what you want or need to hear! Although maybe it will help you to know that even on your absolute worst days, you look at least five million times better than I did when I was in a similar place with my body issues!

Sometimes a change like a hair colour can really throw you for a loop. What you did is super flattering and pretty on you -- but you are right that it changes the colours that suit you best. It might help to know that it doesn't alter them entirely, though -- just sort of moves you along a continuum.

In my early 30s I dyed my hair red for a while. It really suited me and I enjoyed it, but I did have to adjust my wardrobe. Black didn't look right on me any more. I looked a lot better in a chocolate brown (which was fortunately in at the time). Most of my blues and greens remained okay, and even some of my pinks, but the red tones were trickier. I just adjusted over time. But after about two years I decided I wanted to go back to my dark blonde -- partly because I enjoyed the colours I wore with that hair colour more.

My advice if you are actively losing weight is simply to buy a very small capsule of stretchy forgiving things. How do your old dresses fit? It will soon be time to bring those out, no? Can you get by on those?

10 years ago

Aida

Veteran

Just wanted to send out more *BUG HUGS* to you Katie!

I was also going to point out that you needn'tf do a 180 on your colors due to the hair color change. Your black and white will all still look fine, and many of your colors as well. Likely you'll have to change where you wear the colors, and how much. For example, if black looked good next to your face before but not as much now, then move it to lower layers or bottoms. So to keep things less stressful, look for ways that you can change how you style your current pieces with new ones in the more flattering colors.

And lastly, I have full confidence that you will find a way to wear your rocker+romance look in a sophisticated and entirely MKK way <3

10 years ago

Beth Ann

Veteran

I get it. There are periods where our bodies are hard to listen to -- like cranky neighbors making our lives miserable. First -- be kind to yourself. Sleep. Good nutrition. Gentle exercise. Fit in what you can and let go of what doesn't work out in a given day.

As for fashion, I'd focus on pulling out a capsule what works best right now from your existing wardrobe, and then focus on pulling in a few ideas with a great deal of stretch in the mid section. What stores and lines do you shop most often? A line that is directed at women older than yourself might be more forgiving in the midsection. Picking carefully from items at Chicos or from Alfani at Macy's, for example, might give you better fits. You can style them to reflect your younger style direction.

Take it easy on yourself, but don't give up! Things are bound to get better soon!

10 years ago

Beth Ann

Veteran

P.S. Here's an Alfani item I've noticed recently. It has a complete stretch waistband, but also comes with structure and a modern classic flair that is timeless (see finds below)

Macy's

Alfani Faux-Leather Pleated Skirt

View Info

Top Pick

10 years ago

missvee

Veteran

I think you're very wise to start with your shoes first. We're coming into Fall and maybe comfortable boots and booties will be easier to find than Summer shoes. It sounds like you have quite a few challenges on your plate, but please don't lose heart. You can't fight on all fronts! I seem to remember you had one of those tube skirts and it looked great on you. If that silhouette is still comfortable, perhaps you could add a couple more? It seems like they'd be quite forgiving of some weight gains or losses.

10 years ago

MsLuna

Veteran

Thank you for your responses ladies! I will now go through your replies! Again, thanks for empathizing, the kind words, and hearing out my rant! I know I keep going back to this issue over and over again, but hopefully I figure this out!

Thimbelina: Job search is always stressful. I'm a career counsellor in-training and I'm aware that the process is often gruelling for many. It's not easy to be unemployed/working in a toxic work environment and searching for jobs where you're expected to be your best in interviews but you just overall feel so beaten down! I really wish you well on your search. Please take it one step at a time so you don't overwhelm yourself and ALWAYS make time for you to relax and do something for YOU!

Froggiebecky: foot issues are REALLY ANNOYING aren't they? I mean why does something as trivial as SHOES matter so much? But alas, too many of us, it's a huge style component.

I'm learning to wear scarves. Being quite busty, it's sometimes difficult to get just the right knot. I guess I'll keep trying.

Suz: you're so sweet! Yeah the weight creep really brought me down. Sadly, so did my changing comfort requirements for my arthritic feet and my fussy tummy. I used to be challenged by limitations (the more limits you give me, the more creative I get), but this time around, I feel beaten down. I think it's a blend of the stress I have in my life as well as the lack of inspiration.

It would be so interesting to see you with red hair! Got photos?

As for the colour issue, I find I can still wear black, but not as the dominant colour on my outfit. So I won't be getting rid of my black clothes, but I will be wearing less jewel tones and high contrast looks. The jewel tones I wear will have to be darker and slightly muted. I can still wear a bright red though!

And I do intend to buy a small capsule of weight loss clothes that are stretchy. I'm laying off pants for now and will be wearing tube skirts or flat elastic waist full skirts until I get to my ideal weight! And yes - my older dresses should fit again!

Aida: thank you so much for the encouraging words! It means a lot since I absolutely LOVE your style and coming from you, it's motivating! I don't plan on getting rid of black at all. I'll just wear them as bottoms, accents or shoes. They still work! The one thing I'm excited about though is that I'm now adding gold jewelry to my accessories as I can FINALLY look good in them!

Beth Ann: thank you for the kind words! You know, sometimes I forget to nurture myself that I run myself to the ground and get frustrated. But I've made steps to take care of myself (RARE, btw) by cutting out sugars and grains in my diet and on day 8, I've never felt better (less anxious now!).

I'm taking out all my tube skirts, flowy tops, and knit dresses. Many of them, I can't really wear as the bold jewel tones and high contrast colours is no longer flattering. I'll hold off on purchasing/wearing pants for now until the weight is down to how I want it and I can feel a lot less "squished" in them. I love the look of pants, to be honest, but I don't like how they feel on the stomach and around the hip/crotch area.

That skirt is GORGEOUS! I can't believe that's a stretch waistband!!!!

Missvee: thank you for the kind words! I'm definitely wearing the tube skirt and knit tops. The elastic waist doesn't dig uncomfortably on my belly so I can continue wearing them. I guess now, the challenge is to make them work with my new hair colour!

10 years ago

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