Un-Shopping aka Deaccessioning - YouLookFab Forum

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Un-Shopping aka Deaccessioning

em

I live in a four season climate. First I worked in a business environmental 5 days a week. Then business casual. Then I was unemployed. Then back to business casual. Then pandemic so sweatpants for a year. Then back to business casual but only 3 days a week. Then my "new" building has mold so no matter what the window is always open.

RESULT: I have too many clothes. They are mostly nice clothes, and I like them. They suit me. But there are too many. I couldn't wear them all unless I changed 3 times a day.

How do I decide what to give away? I am getting so stressed.

Thanks.

I should add that although I like them and they are in condition, I am slowly trying to up the ante and be a little more stylish.

Shopping

17 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Star

Veteran

I went through a similar exercise when I emigrated from Africa to Europe. I had two closets full of clothes and there was no way I could take them all with me. For me the type of material I wear had become important so I took with mostly items made in cotton or linen and only those that were really well made. I also did a major try on of all the clothes and if I was not sure of any I asked my DH's opinion. Anything I felt was really unflattering and made me not feel so good did not make the cut. Since then my priorities are a little different. If I had to redo this exercise I would try and pull a capsule wardrobe or two or three from the whole batch, ie, have various items that compliment each other and can be worn together, as in mix and match. I would definitely dump closet orphans. Also In your case, dump the ones that don't meet the stylish criteria you have set for yourself. I am using the word dump figuratively, you should try and sell them or donate them - not send them to the garbage dump! If you don't think you will go back to business smart again perhaps keep only keep 2 or 3 outfits in this category, and donate the rest to Dress for Success or a similar type of charity. First check if you can dress down some of those pieces, ie. a blazer with jeans, a formal skirt with a logo T and flats, etc. Hope this helps a bit.

unfrumped

Veteran

Star has some great advice. I would like a smaller wardrobe so closets are less crowded and things get more wear, less “ too many choices”. I am a very slow closet editor ( think agonizingly slow!) but make use of “ aha!” moments when I finally recognize what is “ wrong” with items I’m not wearing.

Aside from obvious signs of wear/ damage, easiest things are fit—really detailed fit which includes elements of silhouette and details like necklines , armholes, plus pinching, binding, riding up.

Next is color, as my coloring has changed over time.

“ Imaginary lifestyle “ is hard for me because I don’t really have anything too crazy or unwearable , but may have a higher % of this or that category. Sometimes duplicates when one would do, more outfit possibilities for a certain “ level” of wear when fewer choices would be better.

I get style inspiration and wardrobe editing inspo from various sources— sometimes just a tiny twist in that way someone says something give an “ aha” for me. Or the same words in a different season make sense.

Angie has some wardrobe revision or refresh posts. Allison Bornstein has her “ system”. Alyssa Beltempo also & has a lot of SYC/outfit creation videos to help inspire using your favorite pieces.

It does make some sense to start with a small group of things you KNOW you wear, & then expand. Or nibble from both sides— definitely yes and some definite No and then the vast middle ground.

I have room for a Holding Zone ( underbed boxes, so not ideal) and that helps me, or I’d get stuck. I have 2 types actually- a very small amount of “ teeny bit too tight” items, mostly a favorite pant/ Jean or skirt; and few things I think are no longer right but am hesitant. I have done pretty well making decisions about these in next 6-12 months.

If you have a very strong sense of your style it’s easier. Select or wear your very best outfits ( quality or just “ looks” and wear those, then do tryons of other things and compare. Some things will be “ close” and you may need to keep those in order to get dressed, but may plan upgrades, but the farther away things are from the bar you set, the easier to cull. My wardrobe got somewhat overload Ed due to retirement/ pandemic, and after, which seems paradoxical ( should need fewer clothes and I did cull much professional clothing), but I believe it had been the “ now what” after years of daily professional outfits, so trying different things, then too much super-casual, and so on.

Good luck! If you can find both your “ wardrobe style bar” to aim for, and your closet editing style, as to what approach works for you, that will help.

Carol

(website)

Veteran

Unlike a lot of people, I don’t have too many clothes. What I do is base my closet on a single solid list of essentials, which you can find online. Then I have a few fun pieces here or there…plus plenty of what I actually need—for example, multiple leggings since I spend a lot of free time at home. I don’t buy many clothes outside of essentials.

LJP

Veteran

I did a major , major editing of my spring / summer wardrobe about a month ago . I will do the same with my fall/winter clothes once the weather changes in September . Anyways , what precipitated mine was a complete lifestyle and job change , both of which no longer required so many clothes . Plus , my attitude toward clothing and what kind of wardrobe I wanted to maintain changed . I purged over 100 pieces ( I didn’t know I even had that many to purge !) in 2 stages : the obvious criteria first ( fit , condition of the pieces and whether I truly liked them ) , followed by more intuitive choosing. By that I mean “ does this reflect the way I want to look and dress ?” and “ is this piece actually serving me in any way ?” . I have a clean , sparer closet that is actually nice to look at and while I have far fewer clothes , I’m not suffering as a result . It’s like losing weight : I’m not putting a single thing in there now that hasn’t been carefully planned for .

cat2

Veteran

Sympathy, I had a workplace that kept changing the dress code and it was a massive pain point for me. We are heading to the end of summer; I would do a try on of all your summer things and get rid of anything too worn or that has never really fit quite right or been annoying: too scratchy, neck too low, etc. Then don’t worry about summer for a while and do a similar review of what you have for Fall. You will likely make enough progress to feel a bit a more in control. In terms of feeling more stylish, I don’t think that necessitates a wardrobe purge. I have been using all the posts on this site to figure out what styling options look current and it’s been a lesson not about shopping but about styling. Most of your pieces can likely be reused if you remix the way you have been wearing them, and if over time you slowly fill any gaps with more carefully selected pieces.

cat2

Veteran

I am obviously not in the wardrobe purging camp, when it comes to working in a professional rather than creative field, with business attire there is often only a vague overlap between things I need for work and things that spark joy. Sparking quiet satisfaction I can get dressed professionally every morning in outfits that make me feel confident is the goal.

Roberta

Veteran

What a merry-go-round you've been on! I'm sure that makes it much harder to eliminate anything, when your circumstances have changed so often already. For this reason, I would only eliminate (as others said) things that are at all uncomfortable, not the best fit or color for you, etc. and give them to Dress for Success or a women's shelter so you feel good about where they are going.

Then you might take whatever doesn't feel like your first choice on any given day, and box them up for a year. If you have the space. If you don't miss them in four full seasons, you can feel more confident you won't need them. My suggestion here is that you make a list of what's in the box, so if you find yourself needing a solid red sweater, you can check to see if you already own it.

You might also have a give away event for friends. I did this with scarves and necklaces, everyone found something they liked, and I cleared out 20 items. Yahtzee!

Joy

Veteran

I also live in a four season climate. I need very warm clothes for a week or two of very cold weather and another group for very hot summer. The rest layer able for changeable weather. I also divided my neutrals and colors into seasonable sections and have made myself stick to wearing those colors only for that time period. The hardest is when I decided I needed more color in my winter wardrobe, but choosing two or three colors was hard. I am still working on that.

kkards

Veteran

Well I had to pay a professional organizer to help me with this. So maybe take my advice with a grain of salt.
1st if you can get help. In all seriousness it’s a lot and having help-non judgmental help was what worked for me.
What worked for me was focusing on the keeps. If it wasn’t an immediate keep or remove, it went into my homework pile, ie don’t dwell on it now, but come back to it in a couple of days. This way I didn’t get derailed and it was easier to identify the real keeps and tosses. Btw about 80% of the homework pile ended up as removes. Ymmv.
Also I found it easier to do 1 category at a time regardless of season (also live in a true 4 season climate). So all sweaters from linen to alpaca considered together. For me that helped to highlight the duplication and overlap. And in the end we set up my closet so that I am not switching out seasons, but see it all all the time, not for everyone but except for really heavy sweaters and really lightweight tops I’m finding I’m wearing for of my things year round (thanks climate change).
We also carved out space for sentimental pieces, things I’m not wearing will probably not wear again, but just couldn’t give up.
Finally remembered that this project will probably take a while
Hope this helped

bj1111

Veteran

I did like @kkards as part of a house move. Part packing service, part therapy. And she took away the tosses so I didn’t have to look at them again.

MsMaven

Veteran

A lot of good advice here. I have been trying to get myself going on some closet work. I have some things from 6-8 years ago that would be hard to replace now, and I have a lot of closet room. Not like me to have so many clothes though.

I like unfrumped thoughts about an aha moment. I have blazers I love but don't have occasions to wear--life has changed so much lately. My body has changed as well and I can't wear the tailored jackets I love. I guess I will start trying them on--not when I've been gardening or wearing yoga pants. I think it would be good to feel well-groomed when I start this project.

I did give two wonderful leather jackets to my niece last year. She looked spectacular in both of them.

So this thread has become very personal for me. Just what I need.

kkards

Veteran

Yes to something that bj1111 said, and which I should have mentioned. Having another person, means that they can take away the no’s. I found that so liberating, decision made and I was done. Again, not for everyone, but what I needed.

Sal

Veteran

I can see how this can happen.

My approach would be similar to above
1) Pull out anything that is a definite no.
2) Put aside anything that is a definite yes.
3) Evaluate the functionality of the definite yes - eg you may love your brown pants and wear them with tops that are okay but not stellar - you need to keep an option or two to make the pants functional.
4) If you like a lot - there is no need to get rid of things needlessly - you can do it gradually like JenniNZ has
.
I edit frequently - sometimes I wear something and realise it is wrong (most recently pants that were too short and a sweater that constantly itched) so I put them aside.

With one month left of our winter, I evaluate pretty hard anything that I have not worn - why not? This long coatigan and faux fur have not been worn this year at all. Both have been put on once and taken off without wearing - an indication that they are not appealing....

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Sally

Veteran

I guess the solution is a capsule wardrobe which can be changed readily with additions if need be as it looks like your situation changes quite a bit. I might have to do this myself as I am anticipating a lifestyle change. I think if you take out everything you have and focus on what you need to keep you can assess the other stuff....put it away and see what you miss.

Anonymous

I would just say that you don’t have to physically remove anything from your house…yet. Go through the process as others have recommended and whatever you think you don’t want, store it safely in the attic, another room, etc. Then you can always pull something out if you really want or miss it. After some time (6 months or a year?), whatever is stored you can feel safe in consigning, donating, etc.

Good luck!

Roberta

Veteran

And please - report back on what worked for you! In six months or whenever.

rachylou

Veteran

I’m in this situation. My current thought is to give away my least worn suits when I worked in corporate… but I’m having trouble with that. So now I’m thinking my most twee dresses… lol. Ack!