Ugly Sweater Etiquette - YouLookFab Forum

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Ugly Sweater Etiquette

Staysfit

Veteran

There is an ugly sweater day at one of my work places on the 23rd. I have never been working on an ugly sweater day before. I don't own one. I have a new evaluation to complete that day., which means I will meet the parents and one of the children admitted to our program for the first time. Should I find an ugly sweater to wear for the day or not? What would you think if your doctor showed up wearing one to an appointment - the very first appointment? (The nurse I work with gave me her opinion, and I have mine, but I'm curious what a wider audience has to say). Do you wear ugly sweaters to work? How about on ugly sweater day, and what about in my situation?

General

36 replies

Latest reply was from Deb

rute

Veteran

what???
Ugly sweater day? Nobody deserves that!
I never wore an ugly sweater, but if I had to.. I would cheat and choose one not so ugly

Dimity

Sometimes we have special days like that here in Australia, but it's usually to raise awareness or money for a good cause, like breast cancer research. It might be to wear red or your top inside out or something. If the day is for a cause like this, I'd probably try to participate in an amusing way (football jersey in ugly colours? or for the team the boss supports? one with a photo of a political figure?).

I would whip off the sweater when I'm going to the important meeting. I would hate to compromise my professional relationship with clients, especially if it isn't for a cause. I worked for decades to be viewed as a capable and intelligent professional and although we all need to be seen as team players (ugh to the cliche of that!), first and foremost comes the work we are employed to do.

Quietgirl

Veteran

I wouldn't do it myself. You may get flak from your co-workers from not "going along" but I believe it is worth it to create a professional first impression. I do believe first impressions matter. Please let us know what you decide. I think your comment about the doctor says it all!!!

kkards

Veteran

well, i would either 1)bring an ugly sweater to change into after the appointment or 2) wear a holiday tee with a blazer over it, so that i looked both professional (i'm of the camp that a blazer makes everything professional), and part of the work place team.

we don't have an ugly sweater day, but my team at work has adopted "flannel friday's". i participate every couple of weeks, as flannel tends to be a little more casual then i generally dress for work. but team spirit and morale is important to me.

krishnidoux

Veteran

What Dimity said: bring the ugly sweater but don't wear it during the professional appointments.

You are faced with two situations: being professional to outsiders, being a good team member to the insiders. If they are good team members, they will understand you are not wearing the ugly sweater during the interviews and evaluation.

Could it be an option to bring an "ugly tuque" or "ugly scarf" instead? Something you can easily remove and put back on between tasks, so that you show you are in the spirit of the office, while not having to carry it into your professional work with clients/students/parents.

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Joyce B

Veteran

I know that Pediatricians can get away with stuff like that and join in the fun.
I don't know if that would work in Psych but maybe in Pediatric Psych they also try to keep a friendly environment so maybe it could work IF you were comfortable wearing one.
The kid would not mind at all but I would not know about the parents so I would rather not take a chance but ymmv.
Maybe you can take an "ugly" extra sweater and change into it after the interview? I would have a hard time finding an "ugly" sweater though and your WIWs always look fab.

E

Veteran

I personally wouldn't buy a sweater for just one day. Maybe throw on a Christmas-y brooch or something?

If I were a new patient, as long as everyone in the clinic was wearing similar sweaters, I'd figure it was a theme and ignore it. But if I only saw a doctor, I'd wonder if they were a bit out of touch and if they had kept up with changes in their med specialty, to be brutally honest. Of course the subsequent convo would sort that out! Just talking about first impressions.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

My rule of thumb on these days is that it has to work for my schedule that day or I don't participate. If I have a meeting with an external party on a casual day, I dress appropriately for the meeting. Extra curricular comes second to professionalism for me. I believe most people would understand and accept that work comes first.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am with those who say to wear your normal clothes to the interview and bring some funny accessories for the party. Either a holiday themed tee, tuque, or scarf, or maybe necklace.

OTOH, if you think it might lighten the mood (in an appropriate way) and be a good conversation starter -- and you don't MIND wearing an ugly sweater -- then go for it. Personally, I am never good at wearing items like that because I always feel like an idiot and hate wasting money on them. But people differ and obviously many people love this!

Anonymous

I have firm opinions on professionals of your sort dressing up for silly occasions . I think it's , well, silly. Calgary Stampede here in Canada is one of the ones that bugs me the most. I do not want to see bankers, doctors, well, anyone for that matter, dressed in gear and hats during the workday. In your case, even more so. To me it makes it look like "you" have half your mind on the fun events at work and not as much on me the client or patient. I know I'm fairly critical of things like this so I may be overreacting. But - it's my opinion and I'm sticking to it:)

jackiec

Veteran

Personally, no, I wouldn't do it. I think it's more important to appear professional. But sure, bring some fun accessories, or if you can borrow a sweater maybe pop it on before or after the interview.

Diana

Veteran

Personally, I wouldn't participate at all. For many reasons - not professional, waste of money, feel like an idiot, etc. and I admit to a bias against silly "team building" exercises and stuff. What's wrong with just going out and having a nice lunch or a drink like adults if you want to do something as a group?

But, if unlike me, you enjoy participating in these things, I would definitely change to meet patients. Wear an ugly cardigan and swap for a normal one or a blazer.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I posted about the "ugly sweater" to a party (not work related) and enjoyed all the varied replies.
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....t-wear-one

I would not buy a special sweater in your case but maybe wear a Christmas color sweater if you have one and maybe buy something very inexpensive and "fun" to add to that like the light up Christmas necklace to add to your outfit during the times when you are not meeting with others professionally. I also have a hard time with silly "team building" things like that and though I don't mind others doing it if they enjoy it, I DO mind people trying to chide those who don't participate. I don't like anyone pushing anything (food, drink, activity) on others who don't choose to partake.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I like the idea of bringing stuff along, but wearing what you normally wear for the appointments.

Elly

Veteran

Both my most frequently seen doctors wear Ugly Sweaters regularly in a non-ironic way. I don't think it would color anyone's opinion either way-- generally anyone who works with children gets a pass to have characters on their clothing. The day the one showed up in bike shorts was weird though.

Peri

Veteran

I absolutely would not. Think about the state of mind that parents would be in bringing in their child for any health evaluation and did I just read you work in psychiatric care? Those parents are scared and desperate...not looking for laughs and not at a time in their lives where their sense of humor is operating and intact.

Maybe for people you knew already, but for first meeting it would not be at all appreciated. I agree with the strategy to wear what you would normally, and decorate in some small way after this appointment. Maybe borrow or buy some cheap, tacky Christmas jewelry.

And blessings to you for doing such difficult work.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Actually coming back to say....I have been in the position of the parents. And while I would accept a doctor wearing this if I saw that everyone else was also doing so, it might raise a few doubts.

I am also in agreement with Peri, that if it is a first appointment and this child/ teen needs treatment, then showing the family that you are kind, smart, and understanding and will SEE their child is the absolute top priority, however you do that.

There is something in particular here. It's not just that it's a seasonal sweater. That would be one thing. It's that it is an UGLY sweater -- in other words, the idea is to be ironic.

When parents and kids are desperate, it doesn't seem like an ironic tone is the one you want to convey.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I am pretty much of a curmudgeon about wearing costumes to work. I dislike it and play along to the minimum when I have to. (Like when our company provides us with referee shirts on Super Bowl Sunday.) So I would bring a sweater to put on for the part of the day that I was going to be hanging out with coworkers. Make it a cardigan, and better yet, a cardigan vest, and it will be easier. You could wear it over a normal pullover that way.

Sara L.

Veteran

I agree with others to wear what you normally wear and then change afterwards. My local thrift store was swimming in ugly sweaters a few weeks ago. You might try that for a cheap sweater.

rachylou

Veteran

Ugly sweater or ugly holiday sweater?

If my doctor suddenly had a personality miracle and wore a giant-snowman sweater, I'd kiss the ground and praise god.

Just an ugly sweater... meh.

Laurinda

Veteran

I'm not a fan of 'Ugly Sweater' anything. The whole concept seems so judgmental... sweaters I think are pretty (or even sweet) are deemed 'Ugly'. As Texstyle suggested, to be a good sport I would wear a sweater in a holiday color (Red, Green or Blue depending) and add an over-the-top accessory, preferably from the dollar store. Pin on an Xmas ornament, or use a tinsel garland, sparkly ribbon or battery-operated LED lights as a boa/necklace.

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Helena

Veteran

I was going to reply, but then Laurinda said everything I was thinking, so I'll just second her comment!

retailgirl

Veteran

I'd dress in a holiday color or add a pin or scarf but I wouldn't wear an ugly sweater. Where I work, we can wear jeans and sneakers on Fridays, but I never do because, number one, I don't like jeans and have none that are appropriate for work. And number two, I have a large wardrobe of nice clothes that I like to wear! I'm not going to spend money on something " ugly" or wear something ugly! So give a nod to the season but be true to your own esthetic.

Niki Lea

Veteran

What about wearing some kind of temporary holiday-themed pin that was "ugly" but could be removed prior to your meeting?

unfrumped

Veteran

I would just assume that this type of specialty dressing does not apply to the staff who are working with patients or any other serious endeavor. I think it's fine to have different "spirit" activities and would not want to hinder those who feel it is appropriate to their work-type. So I think the approach is to dress for your professional duties, and I'd not even worry a minute about when and how to add something--I mean that as, not worry. If it's convenient and you are happy to wear the necklace or similar later, great. On many days I don't have spare brain cells for that. Then I'd just interact collegially and compliment folks on their garb and plead that I had (patients, clients) today or whatever, but maybe next year!

I do get grumpy at plans for garb such as "ugly sweater" which is quite a bit more fraught those pink or red days, which are not so linked with being ironic, offensive or even looking like you don't know how to dress. In our hospitals, sure, there are people wearing reindeer headbands and Santa hats now, and there are witch hats in October, and scrubs with all sorts of holiday themes, and I enjoy them and compliment them, but thankfully no one is trying to declare that everyone in all areas should wear one type of thing without regard for the type of work and the people with whom we are interacting.

It may be harder in workplaces in which a lot of people are not in your situation that day and not as aware of the types of concerns, and are just thinking more business-casual-fun. So I'm sure they have the best intentions.

Bah!

MsMary

Veteran

Gah. I absolutely would not wear a ridiculous holiday sweater on a day when I was meeting with clients/patients or had other serious work meetings. If you can bring one and change, fine. But please wear something professional to meet with the parents.

catgirl

Veteran

Surely an ugly cardigan counts and you can remove at will.

Staysfit

Veteran

Thanks for all your thoughtful replies. When I talked about this with the nurse it didn't take long for us to both strongly agree that we would not wear Ugly Sweaters. I am sensitively aware that there are some children whose families do not celebrate or recognize Christmas. The same goes for Halloween and Valentines Day. I personally feel uncomfortable contributing to making these children, who already feel different, feel even more different than those around them.

Additionally, as many of you recognized, our professionalism and establishing a trusting relationship with the people we work with is very important. Appearance definitely impacts the first impression, and maybe the ongoing relationship as well?. If the first impression is in any way negative, it can be near impossible to remedy. i want the parents I work with to know that I take them seriously, they have my attention, and the same goes for their children. An Ugly sweater doesn't send that message.

Conclusion: The nurse and I will be Scrooge for the day. We have done far worse to swim against the tide and we can handle the repercussions.

catgirl

Veteran

That is a very sensitive response and I agree with you completely.

Meanwhile, I JUST received an invitation to my own workplace's first annual "Ugly Holiday Sweater and Jeans" Day. Argh!

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