Ugh I just want to shop shop shop lately! - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Shopping

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Ugh I just want to shop shop shop lately!

shiny

Veteran

The reasons:

1. Have fully recovered financially from the renovation, so there's money to spend on clothes again

2. Finally have a great walk in closet, but I don't want to overfill it.

3. Have done a lot of decluttering over the past year, due to the reno finalizing and the walk in closet aforementioned.

4. Have gained weight due to aforementioned reno, travel, menopause and all that... so up until now a lot of the shopping has been "justified" because I needed the next size up....

Probably the bigger reasons for the Ugh I just want to shop lately, beyond reasonable proportions:

4. The last 4 years I've been traveling constantly, 50% of my job. So capsule wardrobes based on neutrals like black, and built around a few pairs of black travel-worthy shoes and a couple of travel-useful neutral bags that go with everything, made a lot of sense. But now I am in a travel hiatus for the next 6 months!!!! And suddenly my simple neutral wardrobe seems confining, not freeing.

5. OMG the maximal trends and all the colors!! I've been quite happy with neutrals for the past 4 years, haven't missed the colors. But now... the colors!!! And high waisted! And plaid! And flares! And all the favorites from my younger days. Oh my, can someone please find me a cranberry chenille sweater? So many memories.

I am auditing, auditing, auditing, constantly asking myself, do I need this, trying to remember why I banned certain colors (like yellow) or shapes previously. But I feel like a kid in the candy store going down memory lane and I want to try on everything, even things I know years ago I determined weren't my best shapes and patterns and colors...

I still want a reasonable size closet, for me (have more room now! yeah!). And for my lifestyle. If I'm not traveling as much the next 6 months, if I now live in a yoga/leggings/sneaker/hoody side of town, that actually means less not more... and yet... my heart... calls....

Take for example the leopard trend. I already have leopard shoes (three pairs, heels, mules, booties). And I have a leopard coat, H&M spring impulse buy, haven't even worn it yet.. as I can't get over the thought leopard should be in small doses only. Okay I also have a BR snow leopard sweater from last fall and I did wear that a lot last season, and will again this season. I am so tempted to add a leopard print bag too! I used to have a clutch but the fur wore down too much and it got ratty so I donated it. I tell myself... you have enough leopard. But yeah. I got a hellah lot of use out of that clutch so maybe now is time to replace?
Except my lifestyle has changed a lot.

Can anyone relate?

I have not felt this strongly about fashion trends in a long, long while. But I'm not sure if it's the trends tugging on sentimentality for me (70s, 80s) or is it that lifestyle shifted and I don't have to rely on practical neutral travel capsules?

Shopping

28 replies

Latest reply was from Jeanie

shiny

Veteran

AND can we talk about white shoes!!! Another OMG! So sentimental for me, one of my earliest childhood memories is about a matching outfit my mom made for me and my sister in the late 60s, white turtlenecks, brown vests, leopard mini skirts, and knee high white boots! (And yes I do remember us also wearing these pieces with baby blue tops and dresses too).

For years I've envied Angie's white boots and searched for the perfect pair for myself since my hair is blonde and aforementioned sentimental reasons. Had given up entirely. And now. OMG. Go search any site by color. It's all white, everywhere. So many choices!!!

I ordered a pair of Impo white booties that are exactly like the pair I already have in that same brand in leopard, black, and navy suede. Assuming they fit just like those others, I know they'll be worth it and I'll wear them for years. I am evaluating the white naturalizer booties as well, though haven't yet pulled the trigger, as naturalizer fit is touch and go for me.

krishnidoux

Veteran

LOL your post is so full of humour, yet you express a feeling that I am sure is shared with more than one here. My immediate explanation for your "urge" is that you are right, fashion has changed, it has recently taken a sharp turn, raising waistlines, infusing new brights, moving away from the skinny silhouette. So of course, this leaves most of us craving for new items that would satisfy the new aesthetic.

You mention you noticed a tendency to lose yourself in a trend (I can so relate to this!) and get too many items representing it. So I wonder if now isn't a good occasion to try different shopping styles. Yes, you need to shop. This has been established. But before you go, do continue your analysis of your previous shopping dispositions and methods. Maybe instead go for fewer, higher quality items. This way you won't be tempted to repeat or get to many of the same. This is an advice I could give to myself by the way, but it's always easier to see it in others!

It sounds like you need a little more time or thought about your present lifestyle and needs. You have started reflecting about it and pose good questions IMO. So maybe you need items that are more versatile instead of trendy. Sleek, but adaptable. Things you can use in more than work situations.

In any case, hurray for white booties!

Naturalizer is also hit or miss in my case. I really need to go try in store, and I think they must have different makes with different quality considerations. For me, Rockport is better as an equivalent in terms of consistancy.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I regularly feel like this in autumn as the new stuff hits the shops.Not sure what advice I can offer you other than stay in budget!sometimes leaving things in the cart over a few days can clarify whether or not you really want it or it’s just a passing whim,but if you have the money and you are enjoying adding a few new pieces to your wardrobe why not?

rachylou

Veteran

Sounds like you’re due for a style refresh... My only thought is have a plan... because it’s so satisfying to execute to plan...

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

First of all, that childhood outfit your mom made sounds amazing!

But the shopping--good observations on things not related (directly) to fashion that contribute to the shopping bug. Besides the restricted travel wardrobe, not traveling also means less stimulation. Shopping is an easy way to be exposed to "new" stuff.

That brand new walk-in closet sounds like such a temptation! Get it set up with the appropriate shelves/drawers/hooks/accessories fast (but make sure they're for the right categories, and amounts of things--if you only want 3 party dresses, then put 3 hangers in the designated area) Then live and shop for your pretty closet to be just right, not over-gorged & gross.

Between the body changes and the new trends, of course you want to try All The Things. Have you done a no-buy trip to the mall, to try on styles and colors and patterns you don't usually do, and all the expensive things? I did it a year ago (think it was Meredith's suggestion), was embarrassed at first to say I wasn't planning to buy anything, just was looking for weight-loss motivation in the new lines. SAs, surprisingly to me, were very happy to help me. In hindsight, I think they work where they do at least in part because they love fashion; a client who says "I want to have fun with all your super stuff" is probably more enjoyable than one who comes in with a list of things required for x occasion, and a bunch of possibly contradictory criteria, and a tight budget.

When you do buy, swing for the fences, like Krishna said. In Toronto's post about adding black back in many people commented on neutrals as a backdrop for other, more exciting things. Can you stand things from your travel wardrobe as supporting acts for a few really great, colorful, maximal pieces? If you want maximal, more leopard probably won't be as effective as getting things that play well with what you already have. Idk your financial situation beyond what you say here, but if I had the money to go crazy shopping, I'd prefer a trip to a resort over a bunch of expensive resort clothes at home. Maybe look through the old travel capsules to see what's comfortable enough to be lounge clothes and add "fancy" to elevate them. And don't disdain gear. Get stuff you actually enjoy for the "sneakers, hoodies and leggings," part of life--there are plenty of leopard, plaid, floral prints and other maximalist patterns available there too.

Sorry this got so long. Looking forward to your future posts.

ETA--your post inspired me to write a new post.

Sanctuary Sanctuary Grease Plaid Leggings | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

1

Kate Spade New York Kate Spade New York Whimsy Bi Striped Leggings | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

3

Maaji Maaji Dazeful Bloom Leggings | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

1

SWEATY BETTY Sweaty Betty Reversible Crop Leggings | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

2

Zella Zella Live In High Waist Crop Leggings | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

1

RAGDOLL Ragdoll Leopard Print Leggings | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

1

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

I am right there with you. I love the way fashion is headed this year- the colors, cuts and the 90s are right up my alley. So I am smiling goofily in every store! But I have found in the past it can be a problem to buy too much at once- not just for the wallet- but when fashions change it’s like all your stuff is suddenly dated at once.

ChrisM

Veteran

I’m with you, menopause, gaining weight, new styles (that I like for a change), pretty shiny things -

I’ve learned that I get this frenzied need to shop when something is wrong, or I’m over stressed, or when I’m in transition in some way....the word I use for myself is “insufficient”. That is, do I feel insufficient? (I do it with food too...it’s as if I need to treat myself because I feel bad.)

So I would make sure that it’s a good, happy, calm place that you’re coming from, and not a place of trying to fix something by shopping.

Weight gain is frustrating, and a core wardrobe to address that is necessary. Too much trendy though could keep “magpie” inside only temporarily satisfied ... until the next new and shiny.

Sorry to be a downer, but your post hit waaaaay too close to home -

kkards

Veteran

fall always makes me want to shop becuase when i was a kid we always did a big Back To School shop in early September....

Anonymous

Shiny & ChrisM you both resonate with me, I highly relate.

And I actually just had a shopping binge on oxfords, loafers and combat boots plus jewelry.
Trying in my case, to reign it in, but definitely feeling drawn to tons.

Roberta

Veteran

I feel you! I just ordered FIVE pairs of white boots to discover the perfect pair in the comfort of my own home. Having stressed my knee recently, I am wondering if even modest heels are out of the question now? Would hightop sneakers be as comfortable as they look? Is it possible to touch up silver shoes or should I just look for another pair? (I bought some silver shoe spray just to see.)

The good news is that with the advent of cool weather, I am about to discover all the things I bought at the end of the season last year and didn't have a chance to wear. That is always a delight.

ladypainter

Shiny,
I am totally a member of the club!
Post-menopausal, health-related weight gain/body change. New lifestyle in new location, casual/outdoor lifestyle at odds with my inner style selves.
And that whole Back to the Future fashion quake going on this year! Le sigh...
Plus, most of my daily clothes are either worn out, don’t fit my current body shape, or my low-key early retiree lifestyle. And all my outdoor gear needs replacing.
My wallet is throwing me shade, lol.
So—
Baby steps.
Two years ago, I sent my niece a bunch of my still good work clothes.
eBay consigners; Goodwill, et al, are sent stuff as I have time.
Realizing I may *have* to step foot in a store to check sizes and shapes out (I hate B/M shopping more and more with age)

Trying to make a plan of attack based on practicality first—but it IS difficult when all your heart’s style faves are finally “in” again!
Le sigh, le sigh, le sigh...

cindysmith

Veteran

I am so with you, sister! I just recently got fired from a job that required me to have "work" clothes that I wouldn't cry over when they got destroyed. I can wear nice things again!

Add weight gain, a bigger closet, and the changing season that brings new trends?

I'm in so much financial trouble if I don't get a job ASAP LOL

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Excessive time on YLF is my poor woman’s substitute for shopping

Anonymous

OR shop, shop, shop but don't buy, buy, buy.

I find that the more I look the less intrigued I am by details or colors that initially seem so attractive or even unusual, but then lose their appeal when it turns out they're everywhere, like the big ruffle off the shoulder blouses of last year.

K.M.

Veteran

As FashIntern said: "Excessive time on YLF is my poor woman’s substitute for shopping". Same here

shiny, I share your enthusiasm for all the current trends: plaid, colors, white shoes, high waists. They make me want to replace 70% of my wardrobe right now!!!

Like the others I also enjoyed the description of the outfits your mom made for you and your sister. They sound amazing. It was also a time when more people made their own (and their kids) clothes, no? So much fashion sense and creativity. I feel sad for my own lack of skills and reliance on ready-made affordable fashion.

PS. Which model of Impo you got in white? I have some of their pointy boots and like them very much.

shiny

Veteran

K.M., I ordered the Noria --

https://www.macys.com/shop/pro.....8;CAGPSPN=

Crossing fingers it's exactly like the three pairs I already own (black, blue suede, leopard -- all from several years ago but still going strong, though have been tot he cobblers). This brand tends to work well for me and are some of the only heels I can tolerate these days!

I also liked that they aren't real leather as that may make them easier to keep clean. Will give full report when they arrive.

I don't shop much these days in B&M. Partly because I've been traveling so much, partly because more brands are carrying less and less petites. So I have been online shopping at sites where I know I can easily return in person.

binkle

Veteran

Shiny, Thank you for sharing this.

I'm having shopping crazies too. Partly that old back-to-school September feeling, partly, as ChrisM says, to fill an emotional hole/sense of insufficiency. I've been stuck at a big life crossroads for a couple of years now... But the real trigger is a big party for my husband's work - never mind that I have stuff to wear, events are very rare for us, so that becomes the excuse to get something new.

I had done very well this year in making an effort to NOT shop - really no reason to, financial situation is changing. I cold-turkeyed it: no fashion mags, deleting all sales/new arrivals retailer emails, no online browsing. Only spent a little bit on some Gap chinos, tees, and a pair of Nikes, and enjoying vicarious fashion via YLF!

But once I found out about the party, plus all the September magazine issues, plus I just love fall/winter clothes anyway, and I'm a goner. A nice party skirt and top, a couple of nicer casual tops, a wool midi, a knit midi dress, a corduroy jacket. I've run my numbers for the next 2-3 months, as the bills come in, but I'll miss a savings goal. But I am also reorganizing and finding some buried treasures. Hopefully some consignments will also offset part of my spending.

jussie

Veteran

I feel like this pretty much all the time. I’m pretty much a tragic, always have been.
Basically I now have a rule for myself: a maximum of 1 new item of either clothing or cosmetics per week.... I know at first this sounds like a LOT, but for example, this upcoming week I’m due to buy my special purple treatment conditioner, it’s about $29, so that’s my purchase for the week. Next week I’m due to actually go to the hairdresser, so that’ll be my weekly spend.
Last week I bought a cute long sleeved print top from French connection for $39, plus $10 postage.
I find that if I allow myself this much spending, I don’t end up feeling deprived and therefore tempted to go bananas and OVERSPEND all of a sudden.
Just my strategy.....

Gigi

Veteran

I can completely relate! It seems like there are so many new silhouettes and colors and whatnot available right now that I don't know where to start. Unfortunately, I have a modest budget, so I have to be careful. But it's like a shopping wonderland out there right now.

I too am loving the abundance of white booties. I'm trying to find some with a block heel and a shaft that doesn't give me the flower pot effect--which is turning out to be tougher than expected. I like the vibe of the 60s-style boots.

Anonymous

Ive been in that mode this year too, justifying all the earlier shopping due to weight loss, but its been a lot. I have many fall winter things with tags on, that i bought 2 months ago, though wont need til late October or November. So, im making myself back off til i wear all the new things and assess my actual needs.

K.M.

Veteran

shiny, they are very similar to the ones I have. My current ones are faux suede and called Navika. I also have a similar one with Chelsea-style goring from a couple of years ago--but that one had the zipper in the back and is not as comfortable.

About ten years ago I had two faux leather Impos similar to your Norias. I wore them to the bone (or to the little nail inside the heel). I got that heel fixed once. I only said goodbye to them because my feet went up a half size after pregnancy. They were surprisingly durable for the fake leather and price.

Now I put little heel caps to protect the pointy heel. It makes the look a wee less sleek but I figure it's not going to draw too much attention (other than when I decided to put red heel caps thinking it would look cool on the black ones--they don't).

K.M.

Veteran

PS 1: yes, they are one of the few heeled shoes I can wear with my finicky feet--esp. pointy shoes.

PS 2: yes on the petite at b&m: It was always hard to find, but now it seems impossible! So frustrating!

Greyscale

Veteran

I always get the shopping bug in the fall. Combination of the back-to-school feeling, the plethora of black options that suddenly show up, and the desire for cozy clothing as the weather cools off...

Usually I have a lot of restraint about actually buying things. I'll browse but not commit without a lot of thought. This all changed recently just because of one brand - I like Everlane a lot, their clothing almost always fits me, the prices are reasonable, and things never get marked down. So I've suddenly been buying a lot more after the first try-on. I'm not sure this is a good trend!

Gretchen

Veteran

Yes to all of this! Add in that Fall is my peak travel season, so shouldn’t I get a new outfit for each Conference?

I realized this Spring that I was out of control and tried 2 new strategies, that seem to be helping,
1. Documented the wardrobe, including cost of each item. Realizing how much I’ve already invested has helped me think hard about wearing what I buy,
2. Limited the buying window. My new rule is that clothes can only be purchased in the week after my credit card statement closes. That means I have to make a shopping list during the no-buy window, and I am more aware of spending when I sit down during the open window. I find that those impulsive buys are going down when I realize how much I might spend.

karen13

Veteran

I can relate! I have been getting ready for some events that are dressier than my normal life and feel like I have been B&M and online shopping more than I'd like. Same issues of no one has Petites in store, or my wide-width 6.5 shoe size. And YLF has made me much pickier about getting it right, so i have a bunch of returns. It makes me remarkably uncomfortable to return items via mail - I struggle with the environmental costs - have to remind myself that they may have save me some 70 mile roundtrip drives, so there is at least some offset. And the retailers are making a choice to save money by not stocking my size in stores - or I tell myself that. I actually felt better about the process when I rush order a few things and had to pay for shipping! At least they weren't going to lose that if I return.

Plus I found more lovely B&M dresses than I need - a rare occurrence. I have one last jumpsuit arriving tomorrow before I make my final decision. I think it was your jumpsuit last year that inspired me to branch out from dresses.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Karen, shippers like UPS fill their trucks efficiently. If you’ve tracked a package, you’ve seen that nobody is sending a truck out just for your purchase/return. And as we move towards a model of online purchasing, stores stock less, meaning less inventory shipped in the beginning, and less left-over inventory at the end. That’s my reasoning anyway.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I thought I was doing well, since I've stopped buying. But now I just discovered a new-to-me label: Ivko. I am dead. Soooo gorgeous. Sounds like high quality material. So expensive. Maybe I'll get something as a reward for getting a dang job.

Because seriously, I am using the "building a work wardrobe" thing as an excuse to avoid the job search, because it's intimidating.

Jeanie

Veteran

I can relate. I have the urge to buy and no budget. I decided to hit the thrift stores this year. i haven't been a thrifter in the past but because so many of the trends are from the past I'm having fun hunting them down in the thrift shops. The thrill of the hunt is quenching my shopping urge and if I spend 20 bucks for 5 items I'm not going over budget and I'm getting some new things. Then figuring out how to fit these trendy pieces in my wardrobe has been a blast!