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Trying to Be Brave:Seeking your opinion

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I'll start by saying I'm being very brave here (for me). I'm good at accentuating my positives and camouflaging the negatives, but I want your honest opinion today.

It's this dress again. It looks good from the front - always has (#1) My problem is the SIDE PROFILE

I can see the curve of the belly and then the bulge of the thigh. I am well aware that *this is the female form* and I can't really do anything about that rounded belly. I don't hate it; I only dislike it emphasized.

Thing is, I like this dress. The colors are happy. Yet I avoid wearing it again & again because of this side profile. A friend of mine told me she can't see anything wrong...its just how a woman looks. Wearing shape wear underneath does help....tames the belly a bit....but this IS a casual stretchy dress

Shape wear can only hold me in so much....this bulge doesn't disappear because it *is my shape* & not too much flab. My uterus muscles are weakened because of a lengthy illness in my 20s. My bladder never recovered from it and I use the loo more often than other people. A lot more often. TMI - I know! And while I do leg raises etc to tone these muscles, they are loosened out and I cannot change my shape from dieting/exercising.

My question: Does the side profile look horrible? Wear the dress with shape wear, or simply wear it at home until I wear it off?

Extra pic: Just the linen shift dress I'm wearing today. I shortened the length and love it ALOT more now.

Would love to hear your honest opinions.

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Dressing

47 replies

Latest reply was from Gaylene

Astrid

Veteran

I like the dress and I don't see anything that would bother me. You don't need shapewear - I imagine it's warm when you wear this dress, so why be miserable?

The length of the linen dress looks good, great save.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Yes, I agree Astrid. I don't want to wear shape wear for something casual. Thank you for your honesty. I really appreciate it.

anne

Veteran

Manny - really I don't think you have ANYTHING to worry about. What I saw when I looked on the photos wasn't what I thought I'd see based on your word.

And I see that as someone who is quite sensitive about my own thighs.

Also, and I say this from my own perpective as someone who has a very small bust and easily looks like my bust is smaller than my tummy, that, as your are fairly busty, your tummy look really small and just naturally rounded.

So wear the dress!

approprio

(website)

Veteran

It's a very pretty dress, the colours are gorgeous on you. The gathered detail at the side combined with direction of the print does accentuate your curve somewhat, but it doesn't look terrible at all, in fact it looks rather nice in my opinion. So what if you don't have a flat tummy? Who does? As your pal says, it's just how a woman looks. Remember Angie's mantra about body positivity. Celebrate a little belly and wear the dress already.

The linen shift is very nice too, although the colours are maybe a little soft on you. Maybe boost it a little with some high-contrast accessories?

Anonymous

Manny, sweetheart...I really don't see anything wrong with your side view AT ALL...wear and enjoy!

Anonymous

Oh, and I love the shorter linen dress as it looks fab with the sneaks.

Cococat

Veteran

I remember this dress and remember thinking WOW when I first saw you in it. I think it looks perfectly fine. You have the lovely curvy hourglass shape that usually goes with a little tummy, and the dress accentuates the great aspects of your shape.

I do think that you need to feel comfy in it though, no matter what anyone else says.

The linen dress is cute.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Thanks Anne. Yes, that's true. I am QUITE busty, which is easily exaggerated in tight-fitting clothes. But I made my peace with my bust-size a long time ago, so I don't have a problem with it. And to be honest, you can't really hide a big bust, no matter what you do.

But I see your point here. My tummy, though rounded and growing, is still smaller in *scale* to my bust. Scale & proportion are important....

This is something I wouldn't have noticed myself at all, since I'm so used to my bust. But thank you so very much for pointing it out. Now that you've said it, I can see it too.

I'm glad I posted these pictures Totally worth it!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Thanks a lot ladies! Phew...so it WAS in my head!

Rio -I agree with you. I dont have a flat tummy. I was just a bit concerned if this looked obscenely tight and inappropriate, you know. Regarding my shift dress - yea....light colors just wash me out. I do accessorize it when I go out but at home, I just don't bother. It's INSANELY hot & humid here.

Diane - thank you SO MUCH darling. I believe you

Coco - thanks for chiming in. Yes, I remember you & Deborah both loved this dress! I am a true hourglass, which is why I mentioned this is my shape, not a problem of carrying excess weight. I am just rounded everywhere

Thank you VERY much for your honest feedback, ladies. Really really really appreciate it

approprio

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, I only mentioned it because I've noticed I have the same problem with pastels, but some of my favorite pieces are in softer shades. That dress is too cute not to wear.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I know just what you mean, Rio. Thanks for the advice....I will keep in mind for when I go out!

catgirl

Veteran

So I was going to post about how I've never had and never will have a flat belly, but all the body positivity stopped me, and now here you are with essentially the same question. I can remember the exact moment when I saw a friend reach for something at the top of our shared locker at school and my shock at realizing she had a completely flat midsection - after lunch, no less! Sounds weird, I know, but I've spent more time than I care to consider thinking about it. Even when I was quite underweight, that rounded tummy remained.

Which is a long preamble to my answer. Honestly I see absolutely nothing wrong here at all. Far from it. You are a knockout! The important thing is whether you feel confident. That's why I personally don't wear anything bodycon - I just can't take the total lack of confidence and mental discomfort I feel. Please wear this with joy for my inner 14 year old who feels inspired and happy to see some banging curves. And no shapewear in those temps - sheesh!

bella

(website)

Veteran

You look absolutely fabulous! If I were you, I would ditch the shapewear as well. I wouldn't be able to stand it in the heat.

Sally

Veteran

You look great. I think the dress looks sexy. You have a nice hour glass shape and that dress really flatters it. My tummy always sticks oUT and I have had a c section so I am really conscious of it. Actually ive made peace with it and having a bust helps.. You loOK fabulous. Wear the dress with pride.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Aww Una...I just want to hug you right now!!! I know just how you feel. I was 12 when I first noticed I had the biggest bust in a class of 40 girls!! I also always had a rounded belly, and it was always emphasized because here in India we wear uniform to school. Mine was - white button down shirt worn buttoned till the top with a blue striped tie, grey skater skirt with broad pleats, shirt had to be neatly and crisply tucked in with no lose tucks, a broad black belt with school emblem buckle, blue socks & black Mary Jane shoes. Yup. Now with all that tucking, you can imagine how a curvy girl felt!!

I will proudly wear this dress to inspire you, my friend!

Thanks for your honesty Bella & Sally

lyn67

Veteran

Oh my dear! If I were you, I would wear this dress day&night!:-)

BUT I can so relate to your worries ref. that specific side view...

I have it too, just much much more accentuated as additionally to all yours, I have large hips+accentuated upper thigh muscles to front (from performing ballet in my youth) BUT a flat bum(almost non-existent from side view) AND, if not cared for, a genetically inherited bad posture(overstretched knees to the back(remnant from years on ballet, too)+ lordosis, wich result in protruding hipbones----and...belly).

Of course, I'm now overweight and mushy-but really, this annoying side view is there even when I remember to correct my posture and even when I was slimmer and better toned if not cared for my posture enough:-((.

I just try to size up in dresses like that (this can help sometimes with clinging less), layering a jacket/cardi over it (also helps distracting from crucial points) or just ignore the side view:-).

Oh, came back to say, I have the same experiences ref shapewear. Beyond that feels miserable on when it's hot does not help much here but a full/or half slip would rather help with non clinging, just try it!

Sal

Veteran

You look great Maneera, I love the colours and I think hourglass shapes were made to wear body con dresses.

I would either wear this super casually with flat shoes or with wedges out on a date. I don't think spiky stilleto heels would be right with it.

Anonymous

Hi Maneera. That dress is gorgeous. I truly do not see a problem from the side view. I promise you I would tell you if I did see an issue because that is what friends do.

Here is the thing. No matter what anyone says, you have to be comfortable wearing it. If something bothers you, the happiness factor does down. To combat this issue, I would suggest picking out some feature of this dress that you adore and start trying to focus on that. For example, this dress is a gorgeous print. The print washes over your body in a very lovely way. I'll bet most people would be admiring that print on your body. A second feature is the color. Those colors were made for you. Yay for you.

Momo

Veteran

I think your side view looks fantastic! You have a really lovely shape.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

You all are simply fabulous, ladies!

Lyn - thanks for your honest feedback. We have discussed these issues before and I know just how you feel. I have to keep correcting my posture too! A lightweight cardi/jacket looks good over the dress, but it's too hot for one now.

Sally - thanks. I agree. I anyways don't wear short dresses with heels at all I actually like to de-bombshell this dress with slip on sneakers! But flat sandals are the other option.

Sterling - I believe you. You're a true friend and I do think you try to be as honest as can possibly be You make a good point - focus on what I love about the dress; not the side profile. For me - a big reason I bought it was the ruching. I rarely find clothes with Ruched detailing...ever.

Thanks Momo. You're very kind

Angie.....if you're reading this...I just have ONE thing to say ---- Who needs therapy for body image issues when you can get ALL the support you need on YLF?!

I'm just so overwhelmed by everyone's kindness right now. And amazed that sometimes only we see our flaws. Without YLF, it would be impossible to know that they're only in our heads, right?! Thank you

skylurker

Veteran

I see 2 distinctive issues with a body con dress :
Not willing to show your body because you don't like it
Not willing to show your body even if you like it, because you're prudish

Issue n°1 : I don't think there's anything wrong with your curves Maneera, but it doesn't matter what I think really, that kind of confidence comes from within.

Issue n°2 : I would personally cringe in a body con dress, I have no problem with my body, no curves to show or hide, but I feel vulnerable in that kind of show-off feminity.

So...it's all personal and complicated, just do as you feel.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Isabelle - I agree with you 100%. That kind of confidence does come from within. But sometimes, a little reassurance goes a long way, especially when you're not sure of something.

I have nothing against my curves. I accepted them long back. I also am no prude. But I can be conscious of my curves sometimes.

Also, bodycon dresses are not appropriate in all kinds of settings, especially in India. I will never be wearing this dress while walking on the streets.....only in casual settings where I meet friends in our home or theirs, and I'm not usually uncomfortable in form-fitting clothes then.

But you have touched the all-important point. Am I comfortable in THIS dress? I think it's time to put it to test. I won't know until I wear it and see how i feel in it everytime I pass by a mirror.

Anonymous

Your dress looks really nice.

I, too, am conscious of my curves after having 4 babies--3 of which were c-section deliveries. I feel like my body looks best when viewed from the front. That said, I try not to worry about it. It is, after all, the female form. It's just not the flat-as-a-board stomach I had before, and I have to come to terms with it.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Thanks BC. Such wisdom in those words

Brooklyn

Veteran

Manny, you look totally gorgeous in that dress. Knockout. If you like wearing it, you should wear it. (And the other dress is a lovely little casual summer number.)

viva

Veteran

Manny, alI I can tell you is what I see, which is really, just a fabulous woman in a dress. You have curves but they all seem in proportion and beautiful. It's a gift to have a body that curves in such a natural way. I am speaking as a woman without natural curves, so I look at you with some envy. (Body con looks all wrong on me. My stomach -- which is not flat -- also has a curve, but it does not look natural like this .... but that is another story altogether). What I am saying is that your shape looks really great to me in this dress.

Plus, you seem to love this dress so much -- high happiness factor and all. It's up to you, of course; your call, but I vote to keep and wear!

PS That linen shift? I could wear that one. It's fantastic!!!

Tanya

Veteran

Manny, the dress is really pretty and you are a knockout in it - a very beautiful female hourglass shape. I would wear the dress proudly and enjoy it. Especially since you like it a lot.
I am very slim yet I have similarly rounded tummy, which is more obvious at some times than others. I think it comes with having an hourglass figure ( I have a huge waist/hip difference of almost 12") so I always say to myself that should appreciate having a nice waist and leave my tummy be. It has never stopped me from wearing a body-con dress, which are still my favorites for going out, not that I have had much of a social life lately.

El Cee

Veteran

Maneera -- You look stunning in that dress -- from side view as well as front view. And I do not think you need shape wear to make this work. You have a lovely figure with soft, feminine curves. I really think this particular dress is well suited to an hourglassy gal. A lot of us ladies (including myself) just have a natural roundedness in the belly area -- even when very fit and toned. Hey -- look at statues of Greek and Roman goddesses or classical art that shows the female form. Those gorgeous women all have the belly curve going on. So I say "embrace your curves" and continue to rock that fabulous dress! By the way -- the linen dress is cute and perfect for the summer heat. Looks terrific paired with the slip on sneakers.

Gail

Veteran

I really like the dress and think it looks very nice on you. I think that the style and the pattern works great. I too have a rounded stomach and have come to peace somewhat with it. There are certain clothes I won't wear, such as tight stretchy knits but I even before three kids I don't think I could have done it either lol.

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