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Trusting my instincts and why maybe Kibbe was a bad idea: some style journey thoughts

Ket

Veteran

Thank you all again for your kind, affirming, and encouraging feedback on my return post <3 Angie commented and observed that my instincts were right on a lot of things. And to trust that. And I have to say… wow. I needed that!!!!

All of last year I tried out Kibbe. I did find my Kibbe lines. Visually, I looked like I lost 10-15 lbs. It was quite exhilarating. But the excitement quickly died. I found myself nit picking every outfit. Something wasn’t quite good enough or right in almost every outfit. I started to feel trapped, boxed in, and very dissatisfied with my clothing. It led to me being in my head a lot. I missed buying what I loved simply because I loved it. Yes, I love good proportions. But honestly? I became burned out on it. Can’t I just flow?? And being a mom who full-time homeschools, and works part-time, and has her house torn apart, and health issues? I’m not going anywhere that I need to dream up an entire full outfit and torture myself with heels. I’ve tried it. I almost always dress nicer if I can to go out. But it got to the point I felt guilty for wanting to buy clogs to wear with dresses. (Not that I actually look good in clogs. I tried a pair. It wasn’t good.)

Talk about giving away your power!

My wardrobe did start not fitting well due to mold toxicity. But I also wonder now if maybe the boxy maxi dresses were me kind of rebelling against Kibbe even a little?? “Here I am without a lot of options. Well then fine… take that.” I actually almost shaved my head after buying the dresses. Part of it was frustration with mold affecting me again. Part of it was probably all of the self-inflicted pressure I had placed on myself with Kibbe and trying so hard to look appealing to people.

It’s possible I’m just blaming Kibbe too. Idk. After posting here and seeing everyone’s lovely outfits, I realized all the fun I have been missing with clothes. What a sad thing.

The one good thing from Kibbe (maybe) is I realized my body is visually awkward in gamine and ingenue clothing. the last 10 years, I’ve been interpreting joyful clothing by wearing cutesy clothing from the junior department. In my late 20s it was fine. But as I near 40, there is an odd lack of congruency with me in most juniors’ styled clothing—mostly because of body shape and type. I have a feeling that while I love and value joyfulness and youthfulness, I don’t necessarily have massive youthful vibes when it comes to style. How this will work out in my style idk. But I’m letting it percolate I guess. Christina Hendricks seems to have a good mix of joyfulness without dressing in awkward tiny dresses. So I look to her at times for inspiration.

Anyway, I need to process this all. Back to clothing ha!

Dressing

18 replies

Latest reply was from Staysfit

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Interesting!

I never “got” Kibbe — I even tried to take the quizzes a couple of times but found them maddening. Even though I am a visual artist, I sometimes could not figure out where my traits fell into the categories. And it all seemed too prescriptive to me anyway, because I kind of like playing against my body type — I do not have an athletic build in the least, but I often like some sporty or masculine touches in my outfits, and I have an aversion to ruffles and poufs and overly feminine details, which Kibbe seems to recommend to those of us with curvaceous figures.

I think instinct is very valuable. Style is more than body or appearance type. It’s about personality and what makes you happy. I say listen to your instincts!

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Never tried kibble but l think all these things can be useful but only to a point.It’s like colour theory,yes there are colours that will suit better than others but if you love a paticular colour and enjoy wearing it there are ways to do that even if it’s not your best colour.l think becoming overly governed by these things removes all the personal creativity from getting dressed.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think any or all of the "systems" (Kibbe, colour analysis, etc.) can be helpful as long as you don't treat them as the be-all or end-all or as prescriptive. It's good to know (generally) how line and shape and colour work and to try to observe the interplay on ourselves, but ultimately it's about how we feel in our clothes and if we don't feel good, we won't look good!

Anonymous

My trouble with Kibbe is that it made me dress for my body (theatrical romantic) and not my personality (which is as far as one can possibly be from bombshell). I still want my clothes to be conventionally flattering, but they still need to represent me. Still working on the right balance!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

If you were going through the Kibbe system in his Facebook pages, I can relate. I spent 9 months going through that process, and the incessant refrain of "forget what you think you know" struck me as the opposite of supportive and uplifting. I get that he wants to make sure his readers are open to his ideas and not pushing back or confusing his teachings with concepts from other stylists' systems. But I swear, if someone were in a relationship where their partner was saying that kind of stuff, we'd call it gaslighting. So I can understand how freeing it is to hear "trust your instincts," with all the affirming support that advice entails! I, too, got some useful ideas from Kibbe, and I am happily going about dressing myself in my own way now. Haha!

Irina

Veteran

I went through the Kibbe system, learning about my type. But honestly, I’m bored with it and don’t need all these rules.. It is beneficial to be at least familiar with it but I would not follow it. I wear that I like at the moment. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but it’s my individual taste.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I think the Kibbe ideas are good to know about- I have found them helpful since I learned about them 6 years ago on YLF, just as background knowledge. As to why certain things seem to suit me, like my pixie cut or slightly cropped pants with some ankle showing. But I don’t shop to fit my type too deliberately.
As for one’s clothing changing with ageing, it can take a while to let go the cutesy look! At age 62 I still look at outfits in the stores and think I would have loved to wear that in my 20s!
But I don’t buy it

slim cat

Veteran

Kibbe helped me reaffirm some of my preferences - however it's not a rule book but suggestions for me. The personal choices are our own - no dictatorship .
Do what pleases you and play with some ideas!

rachylou

Veteran

This is me and colour theory. Knowing my veins look blue and a handful of paper colour swatches do not help me standing in front of the millions of racks at Macy’s. Lolol. Yes, I’m sure every Macy’s has no less than a zillion racks.

Re Kibbe - as always, my comment is my gamine *body* does not have a personality suited to gamine *style*… and this is hard to remember. My physique is not my style, in other words. But my brain is tricked by the word gamine…

Kate

Veteran

I have looked at a few systems, including Kibbe, and while they are interesting, all seem so prescriptive, and ultimately, a real joy suck. I like what I like. Sometimes it fits in with the trends, sometimes not. I pick and choose. My body type works well with some things, not well with others. Over the years, I have figured out a lot of things that work for me personally, and I have learned much from Angie and forum members. These have been a real goldmine.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Kate, you win best expression of the day:

"a real joy suck"

Thanks for making me laugh

Keturah, I'm thrilled you feel encouraged! Rock on, and don't feel bossed around about fashion and style. YOU are there boss. Fashion and style is there to serve you, and not the other way round.

As far as Kibbe goes, it's not a dressing and style system I'm personally interested in. But like ALL fashion and style guidelines - take from them what aligns with you - if anything - and leave the rest! There are no rules or absolutes because style is art, not science.

There are people on the forum who have found the Kibbe body type approach very helpful, and others who are wildly annoyed by it. All good.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

In the end of the day, all these systems are tools or perhaps lenses to see your style through. If they don't help they are not necessary at all. Kibbe helped me "see" certain things about my appearance but I have never followed the dictates nor been formally typed.

BlueJay

Veteran

I tried to find my Kibbe type, but got bored and as Kate says "a real joy suck" haha!

Yes, trust your instincts. Always.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

In the past I have also turned to cheap colorful stuff from teen shops, for a quick joy moment But now that I am approaching 45 I realize that stuff has started to look realllllllyyyy cheap! I can do better.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Agreeing with Rachy, my pixie cut says “gamine” but my body is hourglass so gamine styles don’t work all that well…. It’s always a balance of hair style, lifestyle, personality, body type, weather, etc!

Style Fan

Veteran

I agree with what Jaime said. The systems are tools. Some are more helpful than others, but they work for you. I found Kibbe a moving target. I also got bored with it.
Listening to my instincts worked best for me.

Sal

Veteran

I quite like Kibbe... because it helped me realise why some things don't work on me and to celebrate things that do! But along with colour theory I only use it as a broad guide and more of what I really don't think suits me..

For example as a "spring" - probably warm - I really don't suit icy pastels or the coolest of jewel tones. But I think I can wear plenty of autumnal or even winter tones just fine.

And as a Natural (I hope flamboyant but maybe soft) I really don't suit the most dramatic or more romantic of looks at all well - but classic or a softer dramatic can work quite well....

I think there is scope to push the boundaries with these approaches - but knowing how to start can help?

Staysfit

Veteran

Keturah, you have a lot going on! I hope your health issues improve and the work on your house goes smoothly.

Kibbe confused and frustrated me….his language and rules seem cryptic and obscure. However, he did inspire me to pursue a clearer understanding of what lines/textures and styles would best complement my personal features. Until Kibbe, my best understanding had come from “The Triumph of Individual Style”….an excellent book which provided a nice foundation. Self assessment with Kibbe’s system is very difficult: I concluded I was a Dramatic type. The newer material on Facebook, further convinced me that I am a Dramtic, which mostly seems to work for me, but not quite.

I searched for something better or different, and found it in a system called Align created by Florentina Mossou. In her system I found something clear and concretely defined. It makes sense to me and using it does make me happy because I think it works. There is freedom to choose what I love but also awareness of what is going to work best. Maybe her system works for me better than Kibbe’s because her thought process is similar to mine. As I have seen on the forum, we all find different processes for developing our style and wardrobe. I also rely heavily on Angie’s advice and guidance. I think of my wardrobe in terms of essentials, basics and statements, etc. I have a style statement and adjectives that help keep me focused. I make a mood board every season. “Informed and inspired intuition” may be the best way to describe my current method. I remain an emotional shopper despite my analytical thinking. I am first moved by joy, inspiration or impulse and then I go through a mental check list of whether something will “work”. I do not follow rules rigidly. I break them with intention and when it makes me happy.