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Toronto styleestas! - I added two more and that will be IT. Thx for opinions!

marija

I will be mother of the groom and I have a dress, but I have been told twice now that the dress may not be dressy enough. Yes for a wedding guest and maybe not quite enough for mother of the groom.

I have tried all sorts of dresses. It's a bit insane actually. Today I was at the Fitzroy to see if there was anything to rent! But nothing really appealed to me.

Where do you go dress shopping? I need sleeves (at least short sleeves). I need it to be modest (so no cutouts or stomach showing). I am MOTHER, so though I don't want to be dowdy, I am still mother.

I have checked out Laura and Melanie Lynne. I've tried a lot of the dresses by Ribkoff. I just feel so confused. I"m also 6' tall and about an 6- 8-10 - just in case that matters. My shoes will have to be a nude shoe because there is absolutely NOTHING in my size.

If I have to wear the dress I have, then that will be fine. I'll add a dressy earring or something. But any thoughts are appreciated!

I'll see if I can add some photos later.

Thanks!

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Shopping

34 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Welcome! I'm sure our Toronto members will have some more specific suggestions, but in the meantime, it might help to do a search at the larger department stores, to get an overview -- e.g. The Bay: https://www.thebay.com/c/women.....Bhierarchi

And Holt's (though I don't see too much there): https://www.holtrenfrew.com/en.....mensBridal

You might also check out some place like Shopbop. Or even consignment (online or in person).

Then, a few questions. Is the wedding:

Day or evening? What type of reception?
The people telling you your dress may not be suitable -- are they the groom and bride? What is the bride wearing? How about the bride's mother?
What colours has the bride chosen and how might you work with those (while meeting your own flattery requirements, of course.)
How much time do you have to find this dress? When's the wedding?

You wlll find something, never fear!

Irina

Veteran

Rental places didn’t work for me, either but for completely opposite reason - too short
I struggle with the dress for my son’s wedding, too. I finally found one at Nordstrom, so no help. Many of my friends suggested I try bridal boutiques. I never did but should’ve.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Congratulations - not from Toronto or even living in North America but you do look smashing in the vibrant blue. Good luck!

Joy

Veteran

I had problems finding a dress for my son's August wedding but finally found one in the petite department of a local department store (Dillards). It had to be shortened from full length to just below the knees, but it was navy and had cap sleeves. I wore a multiple-colored heavy silk scarf as a cover for. my arms in an old unaircondioned church. The mother-of-the-bride wore a knee-length silvery grey dress.good luck I started a year early. Keep an open mind and have a back-up plan

Indigoprint

Veteran

I really #1 so Fab!
My favs of this lot are the full length gowns....you were them well!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Oh are you really not going to wear the dress in pic 11 that I thought you decided on in an earlier thread?
Is that the one two people have said is not dressy enough? I still think it’s beautiful. The vibrant cobalt really suits you.
Otherwise I do like dress #3 a lot…

marija

Thanks everyone.
Suz:
Wedding is day at a church but not super formal, but formal.
Bride's mother has not chosen a dress. The bride and groom say my dress of choice (the last one in blue) is fine. It's other ppl. who have told me it may be a bit informal.
The wedding is Oct. 21st.
The Bay: check!
Holt's: I was on my way there and someone told me to run away b/c of the prices! lol. I was also at Bayview Village... Their clothes are just not practical at all.
I have looked at consignment. I'll try again though. Thanks for the thought.

Irina (my mother's name!), I have tried bridal stores, but I think my style is not available in any of them. I do like A-line because my torso is long and I like a very simple dress. Bridal stores tend to cater to people with a sparkly aesthetic.

Joy, I'm debating going to the States to have a look!

Thanks Indigo!

Jaime, my favourite is the last blue one and that's the one in my closet. I am happy I bought it b/c I will wear it often even if I choose something else for the wedding. I'm wondering how to "fancy" it up. (It's not going to happen with the shoes!)

slim cat

Veteran

For traditional wedding - #6 and #10 however it's not necessary. Something should be giving you joy and uplift the mood ( plus comfort and your preferred color ). There is still time to find the best one!

SarahD8

Veteran

Oh my word if the bride and groom are happy with what you’ve chosen no need to listen to the naysayers!

Although, I will say that #11 is a similar color which is super gorgeous on you, and reads a bit more dressy to me. The cut really suits you too. So perhaps an easy way to kick things up a notch?

VioletMyra

I think dress#12 speaks for itself. It is perfect for your role as the groom's mum. Wear it with nude heels and stud or hoop earrings. Best wishes to you.

Echo

Veteran

Dresses 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11 and 12 read as too casual to me, but this is VERY dependent on where you live and the norms in your area. Things that I find dressy might still read as more casual in certain other places I have lived.

But I will say that you looks absolutely smashing in cobalt! It really is a fab colour on you!

So I am of two minds - one, that the last dress is too casual; and two, that if the bride and groom find it aceptable, then it doesn't matter what anyone else says. However, you would need to be positive that the bride and groom aren't just saying that because they think they should or to make you feel better about it. Only you know whether they are genuine or not.

Ideally, if you could find something longer/dressier in that same cobalt, it would be perfect!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, yes, now I remember! I LOVE the cobalt on you. And I agree that maybe the dress in 11 looks a bit more dressy, but it's hard to tell without knowing the fabrication.

If the bride and groom are happy with what you chose, and you feel good in it, then I see no real reason not to wear it, unless the rest of the guests will be dressed in elaborate floor length gowns.

And yeah, those Holt's prices are a bit ridiculous.

Joy

Veteran

I suggest you try consignment shops. Pay no attention to the size it has. It may have been altered. I got a MOtheG dress on consignment for my son in Japan in case I have no time to shop. I am envisioning a phone call that announces we are getting married next week. You will also need a nice outfit for the rehearsal dinner and more, like breakfast
on the morning after the wedding, maybe more. Go prepared. You can wear the blue dress for something else.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Wow, you look great in all the dresses. If it’s been okayed you’re gold as far as I’m concerned.

Carol

(website)

Veteran

I like the pattern best -- #1. It has a certain flair, and if you paired it with noticeable gold jewelry, I think it would be formal enough. The blue is a great color and fit on you, but not sure with nude shoes. The long nude dress is perhaps most fitting for the occasion, but I still find the patterned one best.

Olive Green

Veteran

Dress 1 and 11 are very good on you, that neckline flatters your long lean lines.
The dress you own is perfect for a day event, also. Cobalt blue lights you up. Accessories can be very sparkly and quite pricey , per wedding norms.
Agree that if the bride and groom are OK, then it’s OK. Even if they are “only saying that to be nice” you have really lucked out with the new family member. She knows how to start a long relationship with respect and understanding. And the dress is lovely.

Anonymous

I like #4 especially!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

My reply is long, because I got opinions.

Let me start by saying, OMG #11. You look like a million bucks USD$! You really shine in that cobalt blue. I've been half a dozen fancy day weddings in the past 5-6 years, and that dress would put you ahead of everyone except the bride, on the 'dressed up' scale.

My mom has not willingly put on a dress since I was a little kid in the 1970s. But she put on a dress for all of our weddings (four kids). And when I look at the photos, while she looks beautiful, she also looks uncomfortable and ill-at-ease.

If I'm ever crazy enough to have a wedding again, or if I have something fancy to bring her to, I'll tell her to wear what makes her feel great, and her best authentic self. And that's going to be pants, and a beautiful top, and one of her sparkly statement necklaces.

Tell you something else: people get so judgmental and ridiculous over weddings. There is this societal tendency about how everybody is 'supposed to' dress, but most especially the mothers. Society wants to marginalize women when they reach a certain age, and especially at weddings, where you get this weird and ugly little undernote of 'how dare she show out like that?'

Perhaps I am being unfair to your naysayers, but I think they are reflecting back their own insecurity and regret on you.

Marija, you are so absolutely stunning in #11. I feel I'm looking at you, and not a dress, and not a stereotypical image of a mother-of-the-groom. And the bride and groom both like it.

SHOW UP AND SHOW OUT IN THE DRESS YOU ALREADY HAVE AND LOVE. YOU ARE GORGEOUS!

And if you want a new dress, I think you should definitely get #1, and make some occasions to wear it. The lines are beautiful on you, and I love the print! It feels special and unique on you.

I also really like #2 and #3, but they don't grab me like #1 or #11-12. They're reading more "wedding guest" to me, versus MOG. I also really love the Holly Golightly vibe of #6. Drape some pearl strands over it, and you're instant Audrey Hepburn. The nude shoes in #6 look great.

I love the colors in #7, 9, and 10 for you, they make you glow.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

I agree with those who said if bride and groom approve your choice, then so be it. I like your choice, and would suggest adding sparkly jewelry and/or bag. Don’t listen to anyone else…

quietloud

You look amazing in cobalt blue, and #11 is absolutely stunning on you, especially if #12 will be too casual. I also think #6 is super elegant and with the right jewelry it would be fantastic.

RobinF

Veteran

These all look beautiful on you! I agree that if bride & groom have said your dress is fine, and you feel good in it, then go for it. But really any of these would look fine. My favorites are 2, 6 and 11 though if you are looking for that

Runcarla

Veteran

I LOVE the dress you have in your closet, and since the bride and groom have given it a thumbs up - I’d ignore anyone else’s opinion. At this point, with the wedding less than 2 months away, I’d focus on grooming to amp up the wedding feel of your whole presentation. Do a trial run with your stylist (or whoever is doing your hair) and make sure you take pictures of the look you want to replicate. Practice make-up so that you find the balance between what feels comfortable to you and what will work in photographs.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I think #6 is KILLER STUNNING ON YOU! I know you want sleeves though.

I love #12 next.

I believe Bloomingdales does a good job of shipping to Canada, so try there too!

marija

Thank you. I appreciate Your comments. I have two more I tried at a consignment shop today (Thanks Suz!). I loved wearing the brown dress, but looking at the photo, I don’t think it looks that great on me. The blue dress looked very nice and it is that blue colour. The Cracker Jack about it is that it is $40. Lol.

It does mean a lot that Angie and Carla and others think that the dress in my closet will help me look fab.

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Bijou

Veteran

My favourites of the long gowns are #6 and #1. I really like the dress you own in #11 too.

The Cat

Veteran

You look stunning in your blue dress (#12)! Wear it with confidence, pride, jewelry and an elegant bag!

(To my eye, several of the other dresses look a bit boring or frumpy in comparison to your own dress.)

I feel sorry for those who live in places where there seem to be certain expectations to--or even pressure on--the mothers of bride and groom regarding the dresses. Happily, this is not the case everywhere.

Anyway, you can't please everyone. So care most about the opinions of your loved ones, and listen to your own feelings.

Best wishes for a joyful event.

Irina

Veteran

Maybe you should buy the brown dress for other occasions - looks fantastic on you and it’s an interesting dress

My favorite is #6. I like #12, too. For the photos, I think it’s better than MOB and MOG have dresses in the same length. But that’s just me

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Well you have a great figure and fab hair so it’s probably not easy to choose as they all look good on you.l would go with your own preference and gut feeling.If the bride and groom are ok with your choice then no body else s thoughts really matter do they.You will never please everyone as fashion is subjective so why not please your self and your loved ones.

Elle

Veteran

I love #6 and #14 the best followed by #11 and #12. I know you want sleeves but your arms look amazing. You do look wonderful in that cobalt blue.

Weddings can bring out the judgmental side in people (sigh) so I agree that if the bride and groom are happy and you feel good in your dress, then go with your gut feeling. Have a wonderful time and congratulations

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