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To color or not

Debbie

Veteran

My hair is pretty grey if I don't color it. My roots are showing now and I need a color bad. My question is how long do I continue to cover the grey. Do I hilight it or just let it go. My sisters are all younger and have gone grey. Of course their opinion is I should embrace my age and go grey. Opinions please!

General

19 replies

Latest reply was from karlie

shannon

I say color your hair forever if that is what makes you feel most fabulous. You can own your age and still color your hair. There is really no right or wrong. If your sisters are comfortable gray that's great. If your not, that's great too! It's all a personal preference. Why are they trying to convince you that going gray is best for you?

Anonymous

Angie has said, if I remember correctly, that it depends on the percentage of grey you have. If it's mostly grey, you can embrace the look better than if just partial grey.
I was going to post about something I heard from a colorist this week while we were both in the dentist's waiting room. He went on about my grey hair and how great it is (It's not colored at all). I commented that I'd noticed lately that the roots are growing in dark. He asked if I'd recently started taking vitamin D. I have started adding extra D above that in the multi-vitamin because the doctor thought it would be a good idea. He said that he often, but not always, sees color returning to his clients' hair when they take vitamin D. Anyway, he may be completely bonkers but I thought I'd see if anyone had had this happen. I'm not sure how I feel about it for myself.
As far as your grey, you could get the color cut off or add just a few dark streaks with something temporary as it grows out. I feel almost like I'm a blonde for the first time in my life. You will find that you will look best in different colors or saturations of color than you do now. If you don't like the grey, you might try a lighter, softer shade.

Anonymous

Debbie, look at this site:
http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/

Maya

Veteran

I was thinking about this the other day (why, I do not know).

As far as I'm concerned, gray hair will always make you look older than if you color your hair. For some women, that means looking older than they really are. For others, it just means looking their age.

Personally, I know women in their 30's who have varying amounts of gray hair. For them, I think it's weird to go gray...because it ages them by about 20 years. I don't see any advantage to looking older at any age, but it's fine to look your age! For women in their 50s+, they just look their age. The only advantage to coloring their hair is that they might shave off a few years...but it's not like hair is the only indicator of age anyway.

I saw a woman in the salon last time I got a hair cut who had beautiful silver hair. It's not really an issue of aesthetics to me, since gray hair can look really nice. It just has an association with age that you need to be comfortable with.

Louise

Veteran

I think it depends on the shade of grey! Have you ever noticed how some women have a really fresh grey while some looks whishy washy. Not sure whether they add something to it or if it's somehing to do with their original shade. Sorry that's not really helping hopefully Taylor and renata both hairdressers will hopefully be able to offer some professional advice x

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

This is a hard one. I don’t think you should go grey before you hit your 60’s, and then only if you look fantastic with grey hair. Not all people do and on the whole men actually carry it off better IMO.

Joy who is in her mid 60’s looks exceptionally fab with grey hair. I have a client who is 69 and she has short funky grey hair. It looks absolutely KILLER and I compliment her on it each time I see her. But it’s not a slam dunk. You also need the right complexion to look good with grey hair and both these lasses happen to have that complexion.

Claudia

Veteran

I am just beginning to mull this one over for myself. I am 48 and have brunette hair. A few strands of grey are just starting to appear. I have a few friends my age that have been already coloring for years and have expressed a desire to stop and wish they had never started. I think it's much harder to stop than to have never started.

I so agree that the color grey, texture of the grey and complexion are the ultimate deciding factors. But you can't know this until you see what you've got!

I am planning to keep greying, give it a chance and see how it looks on me. I can always start to color, but I am not happy about the chemicals, time and cost. And grey roots look terrible so the constant upkeep is important and not anything I am looking forward to doing.

Here's my argument for allowing nature to take its course:

Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada
Joan Baez
Emmylou Harris
Jamie Lee Curtis
People I know and have seen that look beautiful with their natural grey hair.

But I think a great, sharp and stylish haircut is vital if you do go grey.

Some of my friends are absolutely traumatized by the aging process. I am more accepting for some reason (at least so far, but I wish I could still wear short hem lengths and that does makes me a bit sad).

For myself, I am interested to see what happens... and what I will finally decide down the road.

BTW, my mother, who is 74, has a beautiful head of hair that she has kept dark at the salon. I know I'd be shocked in a bad way to see her go suddenly all grey.

shiny

Veteran

Debbie - I think this is such a personal decision. BUT - I do not think that going gray is a necessary requirement to prove you are content with the aging process!

It's interesting your younger sisters are urging you to go gray. Do you think they may be jealous or competitive here? Just wondering as to their motive.

DH is oldest of 4 brothers. His other brothers - and all his younger male cousins - have never dyed their hair and have various amounts of gray. DH started going gray prematurely in his early 30s, and dyed it for years. A few years ago (around xmas, when we were around his brothers and cousins), something clicked and he decided to stop dying.

And guess what...now his brothers and cousins are teasing him because he's not going bald like they are!!!

Sigh...

taylor

Veteran

Debbie, You are only 54 right? I simply don't encourage women to go grey before 60ish, It just ages women ...and not in a good way like it does for men.

If you are determined though, you could try a short spunky cut to rid yourself of the old color, and create a whole new look for yourself ...could be fun:)

I know some women have been going grey since they were 19, and if they choose to let it go and be all grey by 40*because they still have a young face*... guess what.... instead of looking 40 you look 60.(nothing wrong with 60...if you are)

Of course many variables come into play here, such as complexion, quality and type of hair...color of the grey..silver etc...but generally unless you are up to looking older than your 54 yrs. I advise against it....remember your hair is an accessory ,keep it current and updated as you would your wardrobe:)

Jean Gray

If you prefer how your hair looks I say be the rebel! My mom was 62 and my grandma (her mom) is 97 and I have never seen either of them with grey hair! It is your style so you get to decide. Either way you go I'm sure you can make it look chic!

Misia

Veteran

I say COLOR !!!!! But keep it natural looking at the same time!

Debbie

Veteran

I have an appt tomorrow to get it my colored before we go out of town on Tuesday. I can't stand it. I don't wan to go gray yet.

Claudia

Veteran

Debbie, if you can't stand seeing the grey you should definitely keep on coloring it! That's what matters.

JennyK (NC)

I've been going grey since I was in my 30s, but I'm not sure exactly how grey I am, because I am very color compliant. It does involve a fair amount of upkeep, but I've been doing it for so long that it's just a normal part of my routine, just like getting regular pedicures, shaving/waxing, having my hair trimmed every 6 weeks, etc.

In my new life I have to be cost-aware, so I touch up the roots at home about every four weeks. I have my hair trimmed every six weeks, and every other time I go I have my hair highlighted. This way, I keep the roots covered for a very low cost, and only pay for partial highlights once every three months.

Every person has to decide what feels comfortable for them! I'm one of those who is headed down the aging path kicking and screaming. I asked for hyaluronic acid filler injections for Christmas (but I don't think I'm getting them)!

anemone

I do think it depends on a lot of things, and people have made good points, so I'll share my reasons for coloring.

I started going grey in my early 30s (didn't expect that since Mom didn't go grey until her 50's). I'm in my early 40s now and I plan to color for quite a while, primarily because due to good genetics, exercise, and decades of wearing sunscreen every day, I can easily pass for 10 years younger than my real age if I color, and if I don't color, I would look at least my age and perhaps significantly older. Other reasons--my warm skin tone looks terrible w/ the dingy grey, and the hair that isn't grey has become more of a blah mousy brown with age that does nothing for my skin tone, either. I color with a shade of brown that is similar to the natural color I had when I was younger, but a bit warmer and more vibrant.

I do notice that my greying hair is not taking and holding color as well as it used to, which is annoying except for the fact that the color comes out a bit lighter than the box shows, which is probably more flattering to my skin tone as I age anyway. I may change my mind at some point if I can no longer color my own hair in a way that looks attractive (can't afford salon color), but for now, I'm sticking to coloring. I would consider going grey eventually if I could see that my gray was coming in silvery white rather than dingy grey. The women in my family generally look very blah with grey hair, but once it turns silver/white they look much more vibrant and attractive. They often look better at 70 and even 80 than they did at 60.

My DH, of course, looks great with grey at his temples, but he has nearly black hair and cool coloring and grey is one of his best clothing colors, so the touches of grey suit him.

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

This is something I think about a lot since I already have greys. I consider myself young still, so I prefer to color my hair.
My mother has very healthy hair, but it is nearly all grey (two tone, really). She styles it very pretty and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love her hair.
So I think it just depends on your personal preference and how your grey grows in.

Anonymous

I went through this same topic about a year ago and decided to keep coloring. My hair was salt and pepper color at the age of 40. My mothers hair is now a beautiful silver at 75 but it was salt and pepper up until the last decade. I like silver hair but not the salt and pepper look, so no matter whether it affects how old I look, I prefer me with colored hair than the salt and pepper hair I have naturally.

shiny

Veteran

What if your hair is more cinnamon-and-sugar? That's what happened with my dad, and I take after his coloring. He didn't get his first gray until 65, and it went pretty fast, converted over within one year, to white, not gray hair.

My mom had the salt-and-pepper look for a long time, but when I saw her at Thanksgiving, I noticed her hair is now white, not gray at all. It's quite lovely. And the texture is soooo soft!

karlie

DebbieK, I agree with everyone else. Coloring does not mean you don't embrace your age. It's a personal decision, plain and simple. I hope you love the results!

I started going gray when I was 17 and have been coloring ever since. Now, nearly 20 years later, I'd estimate I'm between 1/4 and 1/3 gray. I've had some people tell me I should consider letting my hair go natural, but that would only make me look much, much older than my years, I think.