Tidy up - YouLookFab Forum

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Tidy up

Jane

Veteran

Just saying...I enjoy shopping and I make mistakes (less than I used to) and I have had to take ALOT of clothing to the charity shop. Some of the items I could have stretched out for far longer, but I have a small wardrobe, which I like to keep neat and fresh. I wash and iron frequently.

I feel very much lighter when I have had a good clear out, but do feel slightly / quite sick at the amount of clothing I have just passed on.

That said, the charity shop I go to are grateful and make quite a bit from my loot.

Thank you for reading and any words of comfort would be much appreciated!

Shopping

31 replies

Latest reply was from Elizabeth P

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Enjoy the feeling of lightness! A well edited closet is such a pleasure. Congratulations!

Anonymous

Jane -- I could have written this exact post.

I love shopping. It relaxes me ... especially after a stressful day. I used to be sale shopper that lived for the hunt. I stepped away from sale shopping in recently because, although my trophies were great, they did not always serve my wardrobe needs. I can't tell you how proud I was when I finally started just walking away from all those sales I see every day, every where. It was a major personal triumph.

I also like a nice, neat, tidy, workable wardrobe. So, of course, editing is part of my life. Earlier this year I lost weight and forced to do a major closet purge. I mourned for weeks over the loss. I felt sick. My clothing did not go to a charity to help them out. I ended up giving all my clothing to the Good Will. I would feel so much better if my clothing DID go to a charity.

This was an important lesson to me. I continue to enjoy shopping. It really does relax me. I will continue to make mistakes. I only recently decided to drive the extra miles to the Womens Shelter to make my donations.

I am sure your closet clean out was in your best interest. We all make mistakes for one reason or another. We also change and evolve through life. What makes us happy one fashion season may fall flat the next fashion season. I really like the idea of donating to a charity that can appreciate it. Best wishes.

Jane

Veteran

Thank you Jessikams, it does FEEL better! And our wardrobes are meant to be FUN - so that is the thing!

Sterling, thank you for your support I really appreciate it. I think your words 'what makes us happy one season may fall flat the next' are wise words indeed. The weightless issue is the same with me too. I would do well to remember that, as it was quite hard work! Thank you for reminding me.

SylvanElegance

I’m a frequent closet editor as well, and relate to these feelings of discomfort and frustration. But remember that keeping clothes you won’t enjoy doesn’t somehow justify that purchase more—it just weighs you down! You won’t regret letting these pieces go. Someone else will get a great deal on those pieces and will love them. Meanwhile, you will be enjoying your new, streamlined wardrobe! Congratulations on completing the edit, and I hope it sparks creative new style directions for you.

Sterling, it’s still wonderful to give clothes to Goodwill! A great charity in its own right. It’s fantastic that you’ve found a women’s shelter to donate to, but don’t feel bad about those prior donations either!

Anonymous

I just donated a large bag of wardrobe orphans to charity myself, Including a skirt that used to be a workhorse but that i haven't worn in 3 years. I figure, not only will they make money, but someone else will love my castoffs!

Bonnie

Veteran

It has taken me a while to find out what my style is and what fits my body, which means I have churned through a lot of clothes.. I've donated bags of stuff to the Salvation Army and now like almost every item in my wardrobe. I still need to go through shoes and pants and by tracking wears, I have a good idea of what's leaving. My wardrobe is still too large, so I have decided to stop adding to it or maybe start the one in/one out system. I like shopping and can always find something I love and I have yet to reach the right balance. I hope someday to have a small, well loved wardrobe like you have. I'm sure we'll be more concerned and smarter shoppers because of the lessons we have learned.

Anonymous

Editing is both enlightening and painful for me. Some items have memories attached and I'll hang onto them though I'll never wear them. Eventually, I end up giving them away but it takes time. Those items are in a basket and not hanging in my closet.

I give away clothes to friends/relatives who might enjoy them and then I give to a charity. I want others to find joy in an item of clothing. And whether I am wearing the item or not, it's still money spent (wisely or unwisely). A done deal so I don't have to chain myself to piece of clothing that didn't end up being a good choice. I pause and analyze why so I will be less likely to make a similar choice again and that could end up saving me money. A teaching moment to self.

I organize my closet by color, not by season, as that system helps me the best. I can see at a glance if I have too much black! Or if my closet depresses me or makes me happy.

I am about ready to finally let go of shoes that are one occasion shoes and that hurt as in killed my feet while wearing them. done!

Carla

Veteran

I restricted purchases of work wear in the year before I retired, but still had items with a strong association with that world. I did not want them in my closet afterwards (like jettisoning maternity clothes after closing up shop!) An immediate cull has been followed by 4 months of further editing. Though my collection of clothing is modest, it is well curated. Everything works for me, and I feel happy in my oufits everyday.

I'm more inclined to do a style analysis prior to shopping for F/W (rather than the new year) and I am re-reading old YLF blogs, as well as doing a style exercise from Unfancy (thanks Stylefan for posting this last year!). My goal going forward is to be mindful of future purchases so that they are appropriate for the life I lead, suit my style, and bring me joy. I am keeping a style journal and documenting my purchases (item description, cost, where purchased), and this is helping keep me on track!

JAileen

Veteran

Jane, I’ve done this, too. Once I took seven trash bags of clothes to the thrift store*. I loved my closet being neater, but my donated clothes help in two ways: the thrift store makes money for its programs, and the buyer gets some pretty nice new-to-her clothes.

*I belong to a non profit that runs a thrift store. I donate a lot of stuff there. In turn, the money made is used for a number of programs, such as the food pantry for low income seniors. Everyone involved is a volunteer, so no money goes to salaries. An article recently named it the best thrift store in our state. I don’t know if that’s true, but it was nice to hear!

Jane

Veteran

SylvanElegance, such wise words too, especially about your comment on new style directions.

Suntiger, yes, castoffs are good to be rid of.

Bonnie, ahh yes, I relate to the balance, and find it quite elusive but much yearned for.

Thank you CJ, as you say, the money is a done deal, and really the thing to take is the learning opportunity. All the best with the shoes.

Runcarla, I thought you were so careful in the run up to your retirement, and I can imagine wanting to move on from items with strong associations (nicely put).

JAileen, so good to know I am not the only one. The thrift store sounds very very good - best in a state - wow! The guy in the shop that I go to knows me well and that helps ease my, well, guilt really. Time to move on from that!

kkards

Veteran

(sterling....if it matter charity watch rates goodwill an "A")

Jane...good for you...nice that you can feel good about cleaning out what doesn't work for you anymore...and good that you can feel good about helping others

Anonymous

Thank you, SlyvanElegance and KKards. Hearing that the Good Will is a worthy charity does make me feel a lot better. The only reason I mentioned the Good Will is that two people in real life told me there were better charities for me to make donations. I took that to mean the Good Will was not as worthy.

Jane -- Do I correctly remember that you also lost weight through Weight Watchers?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

WELL DONE.

Editing is empowering.

Jane

Veteran

Sterling, yes that is right, well remembered, yes WW. I enjoyed the classes very much and still go most weeks. Mum and I go together, and have a coffee after which is just the perfect start to many a weekend! (Good to know that Goodwill scores an A)

KKards - thank you.

Thank you Angie. Such a good feeling!

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Good job, Jane! I remember seeing photos of your beautiful wood wardrobe, and it seems like editing is the key to keeping that space functional and joyful.

Anonymous

I love the title "Tidy Up"! - I made my huge donation earlier this summer after my husband "tidied up" his closet and I added some items that no longer fit. I have been "wearing out" my closet for at least a year and have only made a few small purchases (mostly work out gear). I am glad I have not bought more because I am noticing a big change in my body after working out for over a year. Though I may have to start rebuilding my wardrobe in a couple of months.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Jane,you read my mind!I have just today done a wardrobe tidy with my daughter.Our wardrobes are side by side so we did it simultaneously and a large bag is by the door waiting to go to charity.l echo all your feelings.l feel great that it’s done but slightly dispair that I had to do it.Ah well the charity shop will be pleased ,so we can both pat ourselves on th e back at a job well done.

Katerina

Veteran

I have also done some tidying up of my wardrobe recently and I recognize your feelings, Jane! Now, when it’s done, I am happy I have done it. It’s interesting that so many people (myself included) feel it’s difficult to pass on clothing ...

Jane

Veteran

Jenn, so lovely that you remembered the wardrobe! Absolutely, it has got to be kept neat and up to date!

Danusia, I should think it is rewarding to see the effects of your workouts. Well done for holding back on building back up your wardrobe again. This is what I think I need to do and think more carefully on purchases.

Cardiff Girl, it must be to do with the time of year - that new school year feeling coming up! I am pleased I was in good company.

Katerina, a wise observation - it can be difficult to pass on clothing and actually for me, belongings generally on occasion.

Anonymous

I lost my weight through Weight Watchers also.

I'm thrilled to have lost the weight, but the topic of wardrobes never came up in any of my meetings. When I finally accepted the fact that weight loss had made much of my wardrobe unwearable, it was devastating. So I know exactly how you feel right now.

It is a good news, bad news thing. Congratulations on the weight loss and healthier life style. Sorry about the wardrobe.

Greyscale

Veteran

I definitely understand this - both the lightness that comes from clearing out the mistakes, and the regret of having spent money on things that weren't successful.

When I was a grad student, I shopped entirely at thrift/charity/consignment stores. It was how I honed my taste (easier to make mistakes and move on, when things weren't expensive). I think it especially helped me develop an eye for quality clothing - I could pay the same price for a used, very nice item, or new, flimsy fast fashion. So, I imagine your contributions to the store are helping a lot of people, both the income for the store, and the people in various situations who might come upon a treasure that you donated.

Anonymous

I hear you JANE.
I too like a tight wardrobe and have mixed feelings when unloading things that just don’t make the grade.
But I also donate things to a small local thrift shop that not only serve the poor but donate proceeds of sales to community charities including community day care, ASPCA facilities etc
So keep doing what you are doing- it works

jussie

Veteran

Like it or not.... we need to edit! Otherwise the wardrobe just gets dysfunctional, which is probably even more of a waste of money.
The thrift shop is a wonderful concept, and I’m sure all of your donations will find good homes.
In some ways it’s good to edit regularly, as I think it can help us reduce our shopping mistakes in future. There’s always going to be some wastage though.
Enjoy your freshly cleansed closet!

Bijou

Veteran

Congratulations on doing an effective edit despite your feelings of misgiving. As I get older I think it is important that I look current in my styling and clothes so that I don’t project a sense that I am not current in my professional knowledge. So whilst theoretically I could probably go on a 2 year shopping fast, I am not going to do that. However, being mindful of not being wasteful Is important too. Like most things it is about balance.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Editing your closet can be both freeing and hard/challenging at the same time. Great job!

Jane

Veteran

Greyscale, thank you for your words of support. there’s a lot to be learnt from being a student besides the academic stuff!

Bijou, I think you make a very good point. As I get older in the workplace, I do somehow think that if I have a less fresh looking wardrobe, it can kind of project that kind of older more staid approach to work, so I entirely agree.

Jussie, yes what a good thing thrift stores are. And, I think I now see that editing is part of the journey. Valuable to learn and recall.,

Efgben, thank you, it is good to know that my clothes have gone to A Good Place!

Thank you BarbaraDiane. I feel better for having shared my worries - I’m so pleased and grateful to be part of YLF!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I very much relate to this post Jane. I am not sure why I have found it so difficult to edit. I am gradually getting better at it, that is largely thanks to all of you. Then I feel guilt about getting rid of! Some is definitely the sunk cost issue. But I know I have been overall a good financial manager so that helps. I am like Bijou in not wanting to do like a 2-year shopping fast! Therefore if I still want to add items ( which I have slowed down on) I will have to remove some items. I felt better after finding the $8 silk shirt in the hospice shop I donate to. I thought maybe someone else will be happy to get my beautiful too-high or too-tight shoes like I was to get that.
And if I choose well in the first place more often, then I will feel more responsible. We live in hope

Sal

Veteran

Well done!! I am sure your pieces will be well loved by someone.

And we certainly all make mistakes!!

Anonymous

Echoing greyscale. Often things at the thrift shops are not the best, not current or in poor condition. Finding something good at a decent price can be a godsend for people who have financial challenges.

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