I'm part of the chorus saying that they don't look bad and certainly not as bad as you seem to think! What I see is this (collecting your insights, those of the other fabulous gals who have responded and adding my own):
1. The weight of the jeans is probably contributing. Lighter weight jeans are always a problem except in the darkest washes and I'm not sure that I'm even willing to agree then. The ON Rock Star jeans, for example? I consider them a complete disaster. I've never seen them on where I liked them enough to think they wouldn't have worked better in a heavier weight.
2. Tightness doesn't bother me. It is the lack of structure from the heavier weight that makes the tightness seem odd to your eye, I would lay money on it.
3. Light color jeans are more challenging than dark. On everyone. They just are. I notice this with my light blue jeans too and I'm an inverted triangle.
4. The uniformity of the light color is not good. I was looking at my light jeans not long ago and noticed that even as light as they are they still have obviously lighter areas of distressing in the racing stripes down the front of my leg. That lighter area definitely tricks the eye into seeing a slimmer shape. Maybe that's a good idea to keep in mind when distressing these?
5. The shape doesn't bother me. I think if you have too dainty a cuff, these aren't going to look as balanced and nice on you. I like the heavier cuff on you, especially the messy fold you did.
Since I'm the opposite body shape from yours, I have absolutely no helpful ideas about which jeans might work for you. I hate that feeling. :-/ I found mine at American Eagle and I know they have a bunch of different cuts. Maybe try them, since their jeans can be so ridiculously cheap? I hadn't even thought of them as a possibility until Texstyle recommended them in the forum. Leave no retail stone unturned, right?