Things that don't work, but tell you something

I tried on this BF blazer in BR the other day.

First clue to problem was that they had almost all the sizes in every color, on sale.
I loved the silhouette and especially the navy, which is kind of tweed with either very dark navy or black flecks. The construction was iffy, not lined and "purposeful" unfinished edges, but even that was not a deal-breaker.

What was, as in the reviews, is that the sleeves and armholes are very skimpy relative to the rest of the fit and yet it is unlined. Therefore apparently for a lot of us, it would only fit over sleeveless or the slimmest short sleeve, but being unlined, it is itchy, and then seasonally confused because I could never wear it over a light sweater. When I size up, the shoulders don't fit right, they do that shoulder-pad crumple thing.

I almost convinced myself it would still work for a fab lightweight topper look, but then came to my senses.

However, it brought home again how much I like navy that is in some kind of tweed or flecked fabric and has either black trim or some kind of blackened quality. Much better than a solid or flat ink or navy for me, as those are almost as draining as black. I found that also in an AT skirt and jacket with black trim.

I try to get better at not falling for things that are almost but not quite right, and be okay with putting the "right" part on my wish list--"blackened navy tweed".

How are you doing at turning frustration into focus?

9 years ago

Anonymous

I've seen that blazer too, and it's totally "not quite right". Even the reviews on line were pretty dismal. Can I turn frustration into focus? Not very well, I'm afraid. When I get frustrated like that, I become even more determined to find something that it usually backfires. I'm emotionally driven , not intellectually driven when shopping.

Joy

Veteran

When I find something that isn't quite right, I have started asking myself, if I but this will I be satisfied or still looking for something better. If I will still be looking, I leave it. This comes from experience of buying those not quite right pieces and then feeling that I've already spent the money if the right thing comes along later.

always trying

I have more recently learned to never keep things that are not just right.

This is a lesson learned after bringing something home, ordering it, and then after a very short while, or sometimes even after taking off tags and a wearing, discovering a problem.

Also what Joy said-especially if you have spent the money, and then find something better. this is making me take much longer to make decisions. If I am on line shopping and put something in my shopping bag I wait a day or two before purchasing. If it is gone then it is OK. Only one real regret was a perfect on sale cobalt blazer at Nordies on line. By the time I made up my mind to get it was gone. Still looking for one like it.

celia

I am starting to realize that if I have to ask for others opinion it is because I don't really love it or see some problem on wearing the item.
This season I am not really into buying almost items.

Suz

(website)

I think it's great when you can identify the aspect you loved about the "not quite right" item. This sometimes happens to me after a while of owning and wearing said item. I guess I am a slow learner. But I am getting better at not settling, once I do know.

gryffin

Unfrumped - that is an incredibly insightful analysis. I am trying to do this as well. It's difficult especially when you are looking for things that are HEWI's. Being constantly on long blazer hunt, I suffer the same temptation. I agree it's taught me alot. Lessons for me - I don't like unlined blazers since I am always layering. I won't wear something that is not excellent quality, and that does not mean expensive necessarily. The Gibson Riding Jacket for the money is awesome where the Lafayette, egregiously expensive long jacket, had shiny elbows after two wears. Good fabric and excellent construction are musts. So I really try and focus on this. Good fit (including oversized fit) is key. It has to fulfill a niche. Patience is truly a virtue. Better to wait for the right piece than to end up with a huge pile of never worn things for goodwill. I still mess up, I just try and do it less.

Gaylene

I think your take on "not quite right" is a good one to emulate. Instead of buying the item, or feeling discouraged about my body, or trying to contort my thinking into figuring out how to make the item work, or letting others' opinions overrule my doubts on whether or not the item looks good on me, I like your attitude that it is more productive to think of the item as an inanimate object that has nothing to do with me or my shape. Taking myself out of the picture makes it easier to be logical about what it is that appeals to me and where I want, or need, to be cautious.

Runcarla

Thank you! I've been looking for The Perfect Bag, and stumbled on something yesterday that was almost-but-not-quite right. I walked around with it over my arm for an hour, before putting it back.

If I applied Joy's test, it would have failed. After a short while I would have started up the search again. Your idea to deconstruct it in order to identify the pleasing elements from the 'not-right' is a mindful approach to shopping that has resonance for me.

Brooklyn

I think this is a discipline but I hope I am getting better at it. For me it is difficult when I find something that it is almost but not quite right but is substantially discounted. I tend to think: it's not expensive, I will make this do. But it is not a saving if you end up not wearing the item or buying something better a short time later. Plus you can end up with a wardrobe full of not quite right items that does not make you happy.

This is such a tricky lesson for me! But if I decide to buy/keep a piece with a few problems, I end up not wearing it much, and if the problems are fit problems, I end up feeling worse about my body. So I try to remember that and be strong! I like your idea about learning from the pieces that don't work, so you still get something out of the shopping trip.

Jaime

Yes, you just explained something to me about myself. Clothing experimentation is just as much about learning from what doesn't work as from what does.

Bijou

Yes I agree - it is hard to resist the temptation to buy something that almost works. For me it was a blouse that looked fantastic and was washable (I hate dry clean only blouses) but it had ties at the back to hold it all together. I have a six year old who could not resist pulling those pretty red tassels and lo behold my top slides off. It was Next with no regrets.

Elly

I think some of the best analysis comes from really looking at the "almosts" with a critical eye--- esp. when on the hunt for a certain type of item. It helps to know what to look for next!

unfrumped

It also discloses that I am very color-sensitive, really loving the way certain colors look, so always have to resist choosing color over style.
Very un-French. So like lisap, I could find myself on a mission to find that perfect navy tweed fabric. And that is what started the trial of the JC field jacket.

Angie

Fashion Stylist

What Elly said. Good job unfrumped. Onto the next item that feels completely right.

Jules

Keep looking for the very specific dream jacket. But is there a larger lesson here? I understand why you returned the textured burgundy collarless jacket, but really loved you in that skirt outfit. The theme I am seeing is texture and low-to-medium contrast colours within a piece (which visually is just more texture, I think). Perhaps I am projecting because it's this element I really find myself needing as I get older. Flat white, navy, black etc are not flattering or enjoyable to me. For example, "my" summer white tee shirt is slightly burnout or patterned with natural linen dots - very subtle effects but not solid, flat white or cream which I don't enjoy on myself. Do you feel the same perhaps? Or just enjoy more richness?
Rather than "blackened navy tweed", which sounds like it could become a HEWI item, would it be more practical to broaden to "low contrast tweed" or "richly textured" fabrics?

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