Things I’m thinking about as I get older… - YouLookFab Forum

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Things I’m thinking about as I get older…

Runcarla

Veteran

My interest in fashion and style shows no signs of diminishing as I get older, and I consider myself pretty open minded when it comes to enjoying all the ways people at all stages of life and with all kinds of style inclinations, express themselves. Bring it on! I’ve actually been toying with ‘older and bolder’ as a style mantra going forward. More on that when I get my 2025 style thoughts together!

That said, I have been thinking about some things that affect what I bring into my closet, and how to work around ‘preferences’ so that they don’t feel like limitations when it comes to expressions of personal style. I’ve come up with a list of ‘hard no’s’ (or no buys). Maybe they are not all age related? Maybe they are not so different than issues raised by folks who don’t find fashion inclusive of their shape, size, or colouring? Here are mine. What are yours?

- No heels over 1 inch and no platforms. Just not comfortable, and I have an altered gait with a bit of a limp (improved with physio, but not completely resolved). Sturdy flat footwear, please!

- No ‘heavy’ things. Heavy wool and leather outerwear, footwear, and bags are a drag that take the charm out of wearing them, no matter how cute. Technical blends, pleather, and lighter weight versions of the real thing are okay. Cashmere is a luxury, but it’s lighter too!
- maxi length anything. Dresses, skirts, trousers or jeans that puddle. Tripping hazard! I had a trip and fall scare wearing wide leg puddling pants whilst going up stairs. They have been trimmed to sweep just above floor length.
-zippers on purses/bags. I’ve edited my bag collection of any purse with a zipper that scratches my hands when I reach inside to retrieve my wallet, keys, or other items. I’ve kept bags with a generous flap that stays closed via a magnet - and will look for this feature in any new bag I acquire. FWIW, I applaud the fashion for guitar straps for purses and bags that come with wide leather straps (vs narrow ones that bite into shoulders or chest.)
-small/tricky fasteners. Some tiny buttons or other fiddly fasteners are difficult to deal with for anyone, but finger mobility issues are a thing for me. If I have to struggle with a fastening in the change room -it’s a pass.

I’m determined to continue my fashion and style journey, and will reserve judgement on future trends and keep my poison eye in check. It may be a challenge to adopt some styles noting my ‘preferences’, but I’m undaunted!

General

25 replies

Latest reply was from whidbeygirl

Julie

Excellent. I especially applaud the "no heavy things" and "no maxi length anything". I'm interested in where your older-and-bolder mantra takes you. I am feeling extremely not-bold myself but like to see what others are up to.

NancyW

Veteran

Your list is my list too! The only addition I have to make is ties, tails, and the elastics and hardware that cinch up the legs of pants. Anything that can drop into my soup, catch on a toe or a doorknob or have to be removed to wash up the dinner dishes is out! Guarding against falls is important at any age, essential as we get older. You prove every day that age related dressing doesn’t have to announce itself.

Olive Green

Veteran

Good list!
I will spend on shoes that are cute and comfortable and flat or very low heel. My last pair of mid height heels left years ago. Thank goodness they are not a business requirement any more.
Texture is becoming more important, nothing scratchy or too stiff. No straw bags, they chafe and pluck at loose woven fabrics. Suede is delicious.
Nancy is spot on about trailing bits and pieces. The scissors come right out.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Interesting thoughts, Carla! And I can't wait to see where "older and bolder" might take you.

I haven't really turned my mind to this question consciously until now, but I'd say the main age-related fashion decision that I have adopted is the one about heel height and/or heel balance. For me, anything over 2 inches is out. And narrow heels are a no. Even (probably) kitten heels, although I like them. If the balance were "just so" I could probably do a low one...but I don't want to be wobbly.

I also don't do midriff-baring outfits and for me, that's more age-related than anything else because I might have worn such an outfit in my 20s without a thought.

I don't wear tripping-hazard clothing, either, but I'm not sure that's age related since I've never been able to abide things that get in my way! I do agree it is especially important as we age, and I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself with that stumble.

In general, I'd say that as I age, I'm both more and less practical. I don't want clothes that are uncomfortable and I get impatient with the fuss factor faster than I used to, and I also think harder about suitability for weather conditions and whether or not I will really use an item I'm considering. Meanwhile, I am less practical in other ways, i.e. I fully embrace the idea that fashion is about fun and it is okay to play with colour, texture, and new silhouettes, and I allow myself to take more risks.

I laughed at your comment about zippers vs. flaps. I far prefer zips on my bags and dislike having a flap that I have to fiddle with to get open! Horses for courses, Angie would say!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Good job, Carla! It's good to get what you need

I stopped wearing heels and too heavy shoes years ago. I never wear heels! Even for dressy occasions, I will sport a one inch flat/heel/. I learned my lesson in the '90s wearing shoes that are too heavy.

Like Suz, but unlike you, I don't prefer bags with flaps - zippers work better.

Like Suz, the tripping hazard is front and centre. I can't wear extra long wide hems, and long asymmetrical skirts with pointy jagged hems have become problematic too. I walk up a lot of hills and stairs - disaster!

I cover up for the sun in hot weather! I get heat rash, and sunscreen rash if I don't. Long pants and sleeves, and midi length skirts and dresses are best. Plus a hat! This works extremely well in high humidity too. I can only wear sleeveless items as an under layer, on a hot night without sun.

Dee

Veteran

Just like you, aging hasn’t slowed any of my fascination with style and fashion, but It has brought me to a stage where I finally understand my own personal style a lot better. I used to chase trends or buy things randomly without much consideration on how it would all work with the rest of my wardrobe.
Now I much more disciplined, I think I’ve finally figured out what suits me best and what I actually wear IRL. I will no longer sacrifice comfort for the sake of style alone. Yep, no real heels anymore, and no pointy toe boxes either. I realized I prefer simple, relaxed classics and learning how to style them in modern ways. That’s really where the fun in fashion is at for me these days.

Irina

Veteran

Interesting observations, Carla. Like you, I hope to continue play with fashion and enjoy it.

My age related issues are mostly with shoes - I’m going to be careful with thin soles on flats. I actually would not mind 1,5 to 2” inch heels as long as they have chunky and not thin. So, no to kitten heels for me. And I’m trying now a half size bigger in all shoes for more comfortable fit.

Aside from jeans, I prefer bottoms with elastic waistband.

I continue to wear natural fibers in all my clothes with small exceptions for some outwear.

Runcarla

Veteran

“I fully embrace the idea that fashion is about fun and it is okay to play with colour, texture, and new silhouettes, and I allow myself to take more risks.” Well said, Suz! That articulates where I’m going with ‘older and bolder’! I think I’m good with colour, but I need more texture, more pattern, and more shine in my closet! There’s work for me, here, because my lifestyle is so casual - but why not a faux fur vest, or silver or gold sneakers?

@ Irina - YES! to elastic waist bands! My favourite style of bottom has a flat front wIst with an elastic back!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Love this! Older and bolder is a fabulous mantra.
As for me, I really never wore heels and still don't. I get ball of the foot pain and always have. That said, once in a while there is a 1.5 inch heel that is designed so perfectly I can wear it. But mostly it is all flats for me.
I have never exposed my midriff or cleavage and won't be starting now.
My skin is more sensitive to itchy fabrics so they are a no go.

Basically I do not want to be aware of my clothing after I am dressed but delighted with them when I first put them on. That really hasn't changed with age .

Lisa

Veteran

I understand "older and bolder" because as I've gotten older I've craved much more color in general. Also more colorful combinations in my outfits. The biggest difference is I own many more colorful bottoms than I ever used too. (I was a blue jeans everyday kind of girl but I've branched out to colorful pants now too, especially during warmer months).

Having a list of "no buys" is very helpful when shopping and I do this too. It makes shopping a lot easier when you have a list that helps with passing on items quickly.

My "no buy" list includes:

Heavy cold weather items. I moved to a state with mild winters but coming from the northeast old habits die hard and I still have to catch myself from buying too many heavy weight sweaters. I haven't used my heaviest jackets since I moved. Same for thermals or anything for snow. I avoid all snow related items now and try to be careful when sweater shopping. I can still get use out of sweaters, but the season is short, and it's definitely an area where I can overbuy easily, just because sweaters are so cozy and easy to shop for. Also sweaters have to be lighter weight (cotton is good, cashmere seems to be ok too, but wool, alpaca etc are just too warm to get much use)
Skirts. I don't look at them and I don't like them. That could always change but I haven't worn one in years and I don't miss them. Skirts were always the hardest item for me to fit my pear shape and short height and I always struggled with finding the "right" top and how to layer them so I eliminated them from my wardrobe and never looked back.
Dresses. I do own a few, but I rarely wear them and it's usually for a special occasion or business meeting. All my dresses are old and I don't look at dresses in the stores because it's just not something I'll get a lot of use out of.
Ballet Flats, Loafers, Mules. I have feet that sweat easily and prefer to wear footwear with some kind of sock or foot ped. One reason why I like sneakers so much is they are easy to pair with socks. Ballet flats and loafers are hard to find a sock or foot ped that doesn't show. Mules I don't even try, because I don't like the flapping sound they make when walking and there's no way to wear a sock with them. If I want to go sockless, I'd rather wear a sandal for maximum ventilation.
Some Fabrics. If acrylic is in the fabric list, it's rare I can wear it, unless I can layer underneath it. Alpaca is a no go, even if it's a small percentage. Cashmere and linen can be hit or miss too. Sometimes it's ok and other times it's too scratchy. Fabrics drive me batty because many I find irritating on my skin.
Thick, Single Strap, Shoulder Handbags. I have sloped shoulders and thick strapped handbags slide right off. The bag needs either a thin double strap (like a tote or satchel) or a crossbody style, other wise I can't wear the bag.
Anything Black. The newest addition to my list. I only recently decided to shift my core neutrals away from black. Which means I obviously can't buy anymore of it. The black items I do own, I plan to phase out over time for navy as my core neutral. I just returned a pair of Marc Fisher booties I got during NAS because they were black.
Heels over 2.5 inches. I can wear a 2.5 inch heel but anything taller than that is just a no for me. I had foot surgery years ago and I will not compromise on the height or comfort of my footwear. There's no such thing as "sitting shoes" to me, either I can wear them all day or I'm not buying them.

Rock

Nice topic! I definitely have “no buys” but until now had never really consciously considered my “no buy” list.
- Sleeves that are too long: unless an item can be altered, I have no patience for sleeves that are too long, especially when it comes to suiting. I need to be able to work in long sleeved items. Extra long sleeves are fine for weekend wear, but work wear needs to look tailored, not sloppy.
- Fast fashion: I find greater enjoyment in fashion as I age, and seek out quality over quantity. Natural fibers that feel good, exquisite color, and tactile texture are pleasing to my eye.
- Uncomfortable waistbands: ditto all of the comments on elasticated waistbands.
- Items that show too much skin: I’m most comfortable with sleeves and longer hemlines at this point in my style journey.
Thanks for prompting me to think about my style preferences!

slim cat

Veteran

Agree with many things mentioned above - adding to the list the earrings/necklaces with difficult locks ( if it takes more than 30 sec - it's a no ), shoes without any arch support or with thin soles, strong perfumes with heavy/sticky smells, dresses that require tight shape wear.
Sometimes I think that I probably did wear some of those uncomfortable things when I was young and wanted impress someone - all in the past
.

Katerina

Veteran

Great post, Runcarla! I love the ‘“older and bolder’ style mantra.

As I get older I tolerate discomfort less and less. Most obviously when it comes to shoes. Heels max 5-6 cm. Not too pointy toe shoesand boots.
I have not been able to tolerante synthetic materials on the upper part of my body - I use tops only in naturalism fibers. Toppers in blend materials work for me and I can tolerate synthetic bottoms like feaux leather. I gravitate more towards lighter bags and started to wear some nylon versions lately, but I still use the heavier leather satchels I own regularly. But buying a new bag, weight is a factor, which wasn’t when I was younger.
My style preferences have changed somewhat as well. Not sure if it is age-related or just adjusting to something else.

Marlene1

Nothing that requires "shapewear."

Sisi

Veteran

Interesting! I progressively stopped wearing fitted jackets, tight pencil skirts and high heels when I was in my forties. I think that the main reason was my weight gain - I started appreciating more comfortable, fluid clothing and footwear.

RobinF

Veteran

Ooh I love "older and bolder"! What a fabulous mantra.

I think your list sounds very sensible without being too limiting. Risk of falling is a very real thing and can have worse results as we get older (ask me how I know!).

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

OOOH! I love "older and bolder", Katerina! I'm borrowing that, thank you

Like others here, Carla, I have even MORE fun with fashion and style as I get older! I feel much more unaffected, liberated and empowered as I age. I was unfortunately more impressionable as a young adult - and one in the cut throat Rag Trade too. It is a relief to not feel that way, and I love it!!

I'm also with Lisa. No more black. Not even in patterns! I haven't bought a solid black item in nearly ten years.

Roberta

Veteran

I am all of you, especially SlimCat. If I can't put a necklace on over my head, I'm not wearing it. Sorry all you dainty things with tiny catches. Earrings must go on at the first try and not require miniature rubber bits.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

No black! That's right! That is age-related for me, too, Angie. I did wear it as a younger woman and it was do-able, but now I don't think it is (on me -- I love it on others who are older -- it's just my colouring that makes it a no for me.)

karen23

No mini skirts, & I hardly ever wear shorts. I HATE getting my thighs sunburned.

Sal

Veteran

Love the older and bolder too!!

Great lists above, and I agree.

For me, I try to avoid floppy shapeless pieces. This makes me feel the opposite of fabulous.

DonnaF

Veteran

Things that did not suit me when I was young/er are unlikely to look good on me now. Why do I even try on drapey looks? They will always make me look lumpy and dumpy.

Do not *lemming* popular items on YLF unless I am positive it will work on me and for my style. Actually, I haven't seen much lemming activity in quite awhile.

Just because something looks great on a person whose style you greatly admire doesn't mean it will look equally wonderful on your body.

Remember, Donna: Fiddly stuff drives you nuts, and age hasn't brought patience; it's reduced it.

Joy

Veteran

As you age eliminate sandals as tripping factors and zippers you can not reach such as the backs of dresses. Bras become harder to take on and off. Because of meters I can not wear many pants with front plackets.

Carol

(website)

Veteran

No unstructured, open-front cardigans. Makes wide, busty women look huge.
No "free sample" skin products that are not right for my face type.
No going out on the town in clothes that are too casual or too baggy.
(Hopefully) wearing more matching sets of bras and panties.
Using more product for age-related frizzy hair.
Continuing to be conscious of the rise in pants when buying--no more nightmare return to the aughts, when we would bend over and show a bit more than we'd planned.

Good prompt!

whidbeygirl

Love the older and bolder mantra! I too have been seeking out interesting color combinations in every outfit and colorful patterned socks whenever my shoes will show them off. With my gray hair color is important to not feel washed out. My lifestyle is very casual as well and I love using color to amp up the look. YLF has given me some fabulous ideas on fresh color combinations.