Hi, Patience! *waving*

Sorry you had to deal with that. There is something about pregnancy and motherhood that causes folks to say and do some ignorant things.

I have 2 kids, and was all belly with both. I remember men and women approaching me, commenting on how cute I looked, then rubbing my stomach! WTH?!?! So, I returned the gesture and shut 'em down! People don't realize how that stuff feels.

I did not get stretchmarks, and am at my pre-preggo weight, but I do have a small pooch and lower back issues that require chiropractic care. Boob-wise, I have gone from "porn star" to "mosquito bite" status over the last 4 years. I nursed my DD for 17 months, and my son still nurses at 2 years. I do see the finish line ahead, but dang...*sigh*

My friend calls the pooch my "badge of honor," and my midwife says that you can't even begin to analyze or assess your body until at least 2 years after birth.

The best thing that we can do is eat right, exercise, and enjoy every precious moment with our little ones. I also think that it's great that we belong to a great community here where we can help one another look and feel our best as we go through various stages and phases of life.

Take care.

I just don't "get" people sometimes. I make it a rule to never ask anyone if they're expecting. If they want to share, they'll tell me. I also hate the "so, when are you going to try for another" question. Like that's not a little personal? I've been so tempted to say "point me to the nearest bed and we'll get right on that for you," but I never have. And I hate the assumptions that we're done because we have one of each (we are, but it's really none of anyone's business) - with the insinuation that *I* would have insisted on another if I hadn't "gotten my girl." I love my girl and wouldn't trade her for the world, but I loved the little boy I lost just before her and I would have felt complete with my two boys (and I don't think I'll ever *truly* feel complete now).

I totally hear on the body changes, though. My rib cage is bigger and so are my feet. My wedding ring is too small now. And my tummy is no longer recognizable. It was never really flat, but now it's got all kinds of extra bits and it and my upper thighs are covered in stretch marks (two big babies, 10 & 9 lbs. respectively, will do that). But you know, I'm okay with it.

You look fabulous and I'm sorry some people don't have internal filters at all.

ETA: and I think it's a very good thing nobody has ever asked me that question when I wasn't actually pregnant - I haven't been exactly stable since having children and my PPD has been less controlled at some times than at others - I'd have been likely to injure someone!

Hi Lesley, it's great to see you!
I hope you don't mind me asking, does the chiropractor help? I started going to one recently for my postpartum lower back issues, and while it makes it feel a bit better, it doesn't seem to me that it would provide a solution long term. I only went a few times, and I am not sure if I should continue, but I also heard that it might take many sessions.
Stringy, I think I would say it jokingly - it worked for me when people tried to touch by pregnant belly and they actually got embarrassed.
As for the guys telling you to smile, it's a male power move akin to whistling. There is pretty much nothing you can say back! I used to get that a lot in my younger days, probably because I looked shy and quiet.

Wow! I even drew out Lesley today! I hear you, Lesley. It sounds like our stories are fairly similar.

Thanks for that tidbit of info, Marianne. I am now remembering all those times men have told me to smile and thinking of it in quite a different light.

Patience, what a wonderful post. I am still in denial or quasi hope about my pooch belly and my youngest is now 5! It was super helpful to read your post and get to a place of realistic acceptance. Thank you for writing with heart. And congratulations on 3 little ones. You always look fab!