The search for clothes and scarcity vs plenty

A funny thing happened to me yesterday. I was nearby one of the local thrift stores I often visit, so I stopped in. I have been looking for a b/w striped top to replace my current one (shrunk to be too short to wear except with skirts) for almost a year, and some of you may remember the 'almost but not quite' version I bought from Gap recently. About halfway through perusing the store, there it was, a top that met 90% of my needs, and wonder of wonders, it fit!

I'm not usually a mystical person, but it almost seemed like it was sitting there waiting for me to find it. And it struck me, once I reflected on it for a while, that there's a lesson here for me. I seem to go through these phases where I buy a ton, and then get disgusted by it and donate most of it, and then start the cycle all over again (I know I'm not alone). It occurs to me that what I was doing was being fearful that if I didn't buy something that was cute, or a good deal, or filled a wardrobe hole, then I would never see anything ever again that would work as well as it would. And this is nonsense - some items are for sure unique, but generally speaking there will always be more clothes, and there will always be more sales and deals, and there will always be more chances for me to buy things.

I've read some things about a belief in scarcity versus a belief in plenty, and how it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy - if you believe that there's not enough for everyone and you have to strive and struggle to get your part, then you will automatically filter your experiences to fit that mold and see the world in that way, and vice versa.

Anyway, a little philosophy for your weekend, 'cause that's how I roll. 'There will always be more clothes; there will always be more sales." That's my new shopping maxim.

14 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

OMG !!! I think about this all the time. Sometimes this is what used to drive me to buy 5 of the same t-shirts ...because they were so great I may never see them. This became especially acute for me when stores started bringing in new things almost monthly during the economic "expasion". Now, I have a "secret" fear, that with inventory pretty low in some store..my size might just POOF be gone forever - as well as the item.

It was such a bizarre dichotomy : in the midst of more and more, I feared that what I wanted to disappear. Almost like evolution run so amok that my type of shirt would only last a few moments before morphing into the next thing !

Then one gets on the web...and there are a bazillion other things...LOL. ( and yes...sometimes I have sartorial woes that coincide with the fluctuations of the market...)

Meredith1953

Good words of wisdom! Roll on!

DonnaF

So true. OTOH, I've experienced this with (now discontinued) bras, and it has been such a PITA to find another *perfect* make and model.

Donna, that is so true. There is so much but yet so hard to find the "right' thing at times.

lyn*

(website)

I do this for fountain pens.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

Donna, you're very right - a small percentage of time the thing you love really does disappear, and it makes it easier to justify the fear that *everything* will disappear!

catgirl

I've been thinking about this as I go mad with the current color trends - where were they a couple of years ago? I'm all a-panic that I've got to strike while the fashion is hot. Like being able to find jeans that are not low-rise, finally. But yes, there is and always will be more and different items as well as things to want.. Good post!

Linda

Active Member

I don't know about that. I'm here on YLF so, you know I am fine with moving with new fashion trends and refreshing my look, and yet .... I hang on to ONE unlined underwire bra I like, even though it is rather old, because I detest those body-armour padded-all-over things. And as I've lamented in an earlier post, whatever became of dressing in a pretty, filmy negligee or gown at bedtime? Okay, not necessarily high fashion items. Still, it puzzles me that I'm apparently alone in liking such things. THAT is what sometimes makes me feel that I DO need to "buy it now." It does seem to me that with the economic forces at work now, I see larger quantities of individual items, but a much smaller RANGE of items -- as though we are all moving toward wearing a uniform, rather than displaying our individuality. Just as I can find twelve choices of fluoridated toothpaste in any store, but only two choices of non-fluoridated paste. Interesting issues to ponder this weekend, for sure!

Linda, it can get frustrating how we seem to have all this 'choice' but it's in a very narrow range, in some ways. But one nice outcome of the growth of the internet is that there's almost always someone selling a vintage version of something you can't find anywhere else, or making new versions.

Another 'deep thought' as I continued to think about this this weekend is that I think I was imagining that at some point my closet would be perfect - if I just bought the right items and used the right criteria, everything would be ideal and no additional work would be needed. Which is ridiculous, because one's body is always changing, every time you wear something it gets closer to being worn out, and trends and your preferences shift all the time. I think I need to learn how to be OK with my wardrobe being a moving target, and accept that it will never be the Platonic ideal of perfection, at least while I'm alive and the world keeps moving.

Kappy

You are very right "There will always be MORE" but it's my fear that it won't be the right thing that makes me contemplate "hoarding" items. But sometimes it's good to "change" things up even though it's hard. Pre YLF I spent time "looking" for an elusive item to restock my basics, a short T-shirt that didn't bulge over my flap-pocket jeans. I couldn't understand why all the T-shrits were sooooo long (and I'm tall to boot). I bought and returned so many t-shirts; it never occurred to me that it was my out-dated flap pocket jeans that were the problem! And that shirts were supposed to be longer, duh!

Mander

I had a similar thought regarding eBay the other day. Recently I have bought a few things that were a bit ill-considered, and in thinking over why I had jumped ahead and bought them without really looking at what I was buying it occurred to me that I was seeing every bargain as if it were the last chance I'd ever have to buy that item.

However, I have stepped back with some items that I wanted but were really out of my price range, and have been watching to see how often similar things come up. In just a few days I have been able to confirm for myself that variations on the same theme really do appear every few days, and often sell for wildly different amounts. For instance, a handbag I was watching went for £17; a few days later, another bag that was exactly the same went for £4.

With this in mind, I'm trying to teach myself that I don't have to spring for every item that takes my fancy under the mistaken impression that I will never see another item like it again. This is especially true since I'm not shopping for particular items -- my shopping list has things like "spring raincoat" and "casual dark dress", which could take any number of different forms.

rae

It is tough to find a balance, isn't it? Because there are times when I spend years searching for the "perfect xyz" and it doesn't pop up. Like Una, I'm kind of in a flurry to stock up on my colors and my combat boots, because I *know* how hard it was to find them all this time... But then I can't fall into the trap of doing this for everything, right? I know I was guilty of that for many years, especially because I thrift so much.

Debby

I think it's ok to shop in multiples if there is something you like that doesn't easily come around very often, or if you have size issues. For example, I have wide feet, so if I find the perfect shoes at the perfect price that will actually fit my feet, I might buy a couple pairs in different colors. Same with jeans; it takes me so long to find something that fits both my waist and hips, that buying a couple pairs puts off the frustration of having to buy new ones a little longer.

But, generally speaking, I do agree that there is a lot out there to choose from, between online, regular retail, and thrift stores, and you can almost always find what you like if you're willing to wait a little bit.

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