I am with Ceit here. PPP doesn't doesn't stand for "perfect." And I'm not looking for some abstract ideal of perfection. I'm looking for: Does this fit well, suit me, move me forward in my style goals, and work well for my lifestyle and climate.

A K/R post might:

• illuminate a fit issue I had not noticed but that matters to me
• help cure me of a "sugar eye" for an item that may not suit me as well as I hope
• help cure me of a poison eye for something that I only imagine doesn't work on me
• remind me of my style goals and style persona
• keep me on the straight and narrow with respect to my own stated wardrobe planning goals or my budget -- or inspire me to re-evaluate those goals
• remind me that I only got 2 wears out of the fancy dress I bought last winter
• remind me that I wore skirts 4 days a week last summer so not to worry about whether there's a place for a summer skirt in the closet
• remind me that - ugh - I do not live in California and really, how many sandals do I need?

So, it's not about perfect. It's about figuring out what I value in conversation with others whose opinions I trust. That doesn't mean I have to agree with everyone. But if I didn't think the forum's thoughts would be useful, I wouldn't post it.

Anyway, of course it's reasonable to compromise! Unless our clothes are designed and made for us, we absolutely have to! But another value of the K/R type thread is that it helps us all decide in what areas we, personally, are willing and able to compromise. For one person, choosing the black jacket instead of the blue would be a reasonable compromise. For another, that would be sacrilege. For one person, the round toed bootie that's comfortable is a good compromise for the lusted after pointy toed version that hurts. For somebody else it might be how fashion forward -- or not -- a particular outfit is.

Thinking of my BR suit situation. Many loved the jacket; others suggested it was not fashion forward enough. And me? I honestly can't decide. A part of me just loves it. But maybe I love it because it is a suit and it fits, not because it is THE suit. So I need to do some comparison. Again -- it's not about looking for perfect. It's about finding what's best.

Oh my goodness...I feel like a FOOL! I honestly thought one of the "P"s in PPP stood for Perfect. "Picky, Patient and Practical" - well that is a bit different from perfect, isn't it?

Anyway - I'm going to just shut up now 'cause I feel like the more I discuss the issue, the more I stick my foot in my mouth.

If you love it you should keep it and wear it! I also observe that I tend to go shopping alone (never with DH or even a trusted friend!) mainly because I cannot deal with people interfering with my choice! If I really like something I just buy it! And if I have doubts about something, or how I would style it .... I just don't buy it! Makes life so much easier!

As about compromising a bit on the fit if I really like an item ..... I have even gone as far as buying sandals a size smaller just because I loved them and they didn't have my size!!! I know its crazy! But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do

Well I thought it stood for perfect too.

Shannon, everything has been said so I will just ditto. Remember my Burberry coat? Got lots of mixed reviews but I loved and love it.

That said, there are many times I've loved an item beyond belief only to regret it later. The Uggs are a possible example of that. I love them but I feel it blinds me to the possible issues with them. My sugar eye is my downfall, especially when I see something look crazy-fab on someone else (like the Uggs!).

I have made the mistake of posting a K/R on something only because I am certain it's perfect and am fishing for compliments only to get mixed reviews. Those are the items I no longer post as K/R. If my intent is to keep no matter what, then why ask to have my bubble burst?

It's a process!

Yep, PPP distinctly excludes the word perfect.

There is no perfect jacket, purse, or shoe - just like there is no Perfect Man. If we waited for perfect, we'd be nekkid and alone. I don't think the point is to obsess over every thread and ripple in fabric but to not ignore the feeling that something is a little bit off and settle for what you know deep down is not right.

Okay, so first I have to do a happy dance because Angie just said your jacket was killer, which was exactly what I'd felt about it and I knew you felt in your heart about it. And it is killer! Of course, I'm my total lawyer self, so when I said I loved it, I had to reserve my wiggle room out, which makes me a total chicken, but we'll call it even and just say that I'm doing a happy Chicken Dance! I love your jacket, and I love that you love it.

As for the k/r, it is really easy to post as a k/r when you are just really wanting everyone to celebrate your awesome find. I think it is also totally understandable to want to find out whether everyone else loves it just as much as you do. And it is normal to be a little deflated when not everyone does. (But kinda crazy too, because getting 100% consensus? Never happens.) The wanting/getting affirmation side of the forum is a natural part of it and something that all of us have to make peace with and set our boundaries regarding.

At the end of the day, YOU have to decide whether anything you buy will bring you happiness and determine whether you can chalk some of the negative comments up to personal taste. I do that a lot, the chalking bit. My recent WIW with the cropped trousers, not overwhelmingly popular. I loved it. Una has a tainted eye for crops, so avoided comment; Anna liked it even better than my polished second outfit; Angie was silent about it, but loved my second outfit. All fine! Or my taupe sweater showdown post. (Speaking of reminding us of our style persona!) Angie doesn't love my favorite. But I do and my husband does and so do a lot of others. So, that's okay. Angie isn't going to begrudge any of us for loving something irrationally. As long as it brings us happiness, she and everyone else on the forum will be positive about it. I just assume that Angie is trying to make sure that we go into something like that with open eyes and not just leaping into a purchase that we regret. And I'm pretty sure that she'll just shrug or tsks or whatever lovely thing she does and says "Then go enjoy it!" What more could we ask?!? So, I'm returning the beige Theory sweater that brings me no joy, even though it is an Angie favorite. I'm keeping the beige sweater Angie thinks doesn't hold a candle to the Theory one. And I'm buying Angie a latte next spring when it turns out that she was right and I made the wrong choice. Or not. Either way, it is all good.

One other thought, this week or last, Ruth posted about PPL for boots shown with straight leg pants that she thought were too short. By posting, she found out that her aversion was a matter more of personal taste (personal PPL) than of technical incorrectness. And I think there's room for that. I actually think that that was what you were seeing a lot in the critiques of your jacket. People's own personal preferences and attempts to identify anything that is not to their taste with the fit so that you could go into it with open eyes. But those things don't matter to you, and that's okay. Would you flinch if something was dry clean only? Nope? Me either. But for many people it would be a big consideration in whether something was a good purchase. So, relegate those negative comments to that category and go enjoy your beautiful jacket!

(ETA: WOW was that a long post! Bottom line, love that jacket!)

Shannon, you haven't stuck your foot in your mouth. Your question is a good one and I've found the ensuing discussion enlightening. I don't think I can add much to what's already been said...I'm just glad to have been able to follow along and learn.

I think it's in the nature of some people to play the keep/return game anyway though. I have been doing it for YEARS. I buy something, bring it home, analyze the HECK out of it...and then decide - usually, I'm a returner...unless someone makes me decide otherwise. I mean I bought the item, I'd like to have it, but only if it looks good.

If you're like me, there are two other people at my house, one is my husband, and the other is my 8yo son. Neither are good for bouncing outfit details off of. I haven't done a K/R thread yet, but I think having other like minded people analyze and do the thinking for you is good. I know with myself, I'm often too *close* to the item. I love it, I've seen it look fab on people, I know just how I want to wear it and what with...but the final piece of "Does it look GREAT on me" is the one thing that's hard to answer.

But some things, yes, I keep them anyway. I'm going to go ahead and put my Dansko clogs in that stack. They look like clogs. Ugly navy clogs, but with boot cut jeans and thick socks...oooh, I can shop all day in those! Every single person I asked vetoed the Danskos, my feet DO look like they've been entombed in a stone block...but I kept them because they make me feel good, in the end. AND they are apparently indestructible :).

MaryK has noticed something I have too -- sometimes an item that has gotten mixed reviews in a K/R post for me ends up getting raves when I finally post it in a WIW and it's fully styled and I'm committed to it.

Just another reminder of how personal style really is. Style by committee doesn't work. Going with your gut usually does.

I am another YLF-er that's glad you posted this. I've gotten some new items that I love, and I'd love to get feedback on, but not necessarily in the K/R vein. I have questions like: how do I style these? are these purchases consistent with each other, and with my style in general? what additional items, if any, do you think would compliment these pieces? can I wear these to work? etc. So maybe we need "look what I got" posts, if we truly love the item, and returning it is not an option.

I definitely know what you mean about becoming hypercritical, too. It's easy to fall into a trap of wondering if something looks "good enough" for a WIW, or if it's fashion forward enough, or whatever. But the fact is that you buy clothing foremost for YOU, and for your life. And if you love something, YOU have to wear it. Sometimes "good enough" is good enough. If you're freezing to death in the winter, you can buy an inexpensive sweater that's just OK. And it'll keep you warm unless/until you find the perfect thing later on.

K, FWIW, I did like your favourite taupe sweater. I simply preferred the Theory. I also suggested that you keep both, which I wouldn't have if I didn't think you would love both too. And I'll have an earl grey tea instead of a latte - with a huge hug. I miss you. Come back up to Seattle. As for the cropped pants, I have a stormy relationship with them, and I appreciate that you remember that - just as I appreciate your thoughts here.

Shannon, no offense taken.

But.....I do find that people are more likely to post constructive criticism if it's a K/R. Because you are open to getting rid of the item if you get some insight that you didn't have before. So, indeed, depends what you are looking for.
How about instead of K/R, we call it :ILTSEIYDLIPOAFIIAAOJKQ?
"I love this so even if you don't like it, point out any fabness in it at all or just keep quiet"

I understand why you posted the K/R, Shannon, and you should not feel bad. But the forum is very supportive when someone posts an item they love, too. So next time if you post it as something you love and are keeping, you can still keep the group updated on an item you've been stalking, but not open it up for question.

And this may be a really bad way to shop, but I keep things that make me happy. I have looked in the mirror and tried to pick apart this and that and you know what? If I look, I can ALWAYS find something I'm not happy with. The fact is that I am dissatisfied with my middle, and while I am working to change that, clothes cannot make body and figure issues go away. There is always something I can find to pick apart. So instead, when an item makes me internally squeal with excitement, I buy it.

I think that's how you felt about the jacket. It made you happy. But like me (and anyone, really), if you look hard enough you could find something to overthink. No item is perfect; no such thing exists. So be happy when an item makes you happy, post it here, and we will happily share in your joy!

I think many people already post "Look what I've got" threads and have prefaced them with, "This is not a K/R." So really, the point is to make clear what your intent of the post is -- feedback? styling suggestions? share my joy?

Shannon (FYI, I like the jacket on you -- haven't had a chance to respond in your other thread) -- I do think it's human nature to obsess over certain things, whether it's fashion, food, housekeeping, hobbies, etc. I think some people enjoy the analysis and are happy to take the time to do so, but when it becomes a chore and drags you down, perhaps one should re-evaluate what the best use of time and energy is.

You know I think you're all WONDERFUL don't you?

Thank you for your wisdom and your understanding - always!

You know also, sometimes people just look at the pictures without reading the text. That has happened sometimes in my posts.

I think a few people have danced around the issue but not been explicit. Is it that those who are not enamored of a look are keeping the feedback to themselves or providing false praise when a piece is posted in a WIW as opposed to a K/R? Is there another explanation for a piece getting panned in the K/R and then praised in a WIW?

I know I have often kept silent when I do not find an outfit flattering on the wearer as I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but perhaps in a K/R, the barrier is lifted and people feel more free to post with honesty. Is it even reasonable or realistic to expect everyone to love a look. We all have different issues, sugar looks (sorry Una but I could not recall the right phrase) and poisoned eye items. Mine is proportion.

Shannon, I have found this post quite enlightening and thank you for starting it.