The Queen - Public Face/ Private Face and our fashion choices

RoseandJoan

The Queen really highlighted to me how much we assume or attribute to a persons demeanor from their public face.

I work in finance, on many levels I am machine like at my work, processing stats, evaluating risk and preparing reports. I have to be professional and efficient at work and this translates to a quite classic wardrobe.

In my private life I am warmer and more approachable and my sartorial choices are more artistic.

Both of these personas are me, but which is the true me? I would hate for a casual work acquaintance to assume I was cold and detached as a mother and wife due to how I mange my work.

I feel the Queen has reserve and dignity in her public life which in this celebrity big brother era are traits which are not always viewed favourably. We know so little of the Queens private world and yet we feel we know enough to be drawn into the film and to believe the scenes could be an accurate reflection of that time.

So I would like to ask you about your public/ private face. Although you work in a suit are you truly your self in loungewear? Do you see the person behind the role? Is it important to portray the real you through your clothing?

12 years ago

Book Club

12 replies

Latest reply was from christieanne

Meredith1953

Veteran

I think it is important to convey who we are through our dress, but of course as you pointed out, we are more than one persona. We are so multi faceted and there are just times when a uniform is necessary I guess.

12 years ago

Laura

(website)

Veteran

So interesting!

I guess both your personas are the true you, Jules. Don't we women usually have to wear several different hats every day? I try to dress to reflect who I am and since the office I'm in is casual, there's no difference between my at-home and in-public clothing choices.

12 years ago

raclar

Active Member

This is very interesting to think about... I agree with Laura that we have different facets to our personalities and selves and our sartorial choices manifest the one we choose to present. Like RoseandJoan, I'm more outgoing, harder, colder to get stuff done and at home I'm more relaxed and quieter. Do you think we should respect the image someone is presenting? and interact with them accordingly? I think for myself I would prefer this. If I am dressed harder/ non-nonsense then I WANT people to respond to me in a more business like way. But if I'm more casually dressed I want to be more relaxed and chatty and personable/personal.

I think clothing choices can be powerful in this way.

12 years ago

taylor

Veteran

Very interesting Julie!

I work in a very creative field and I am my own boss. I am very comfortable with my very loyal and wonderful clientele who allow me to be creative and chatty...

Take me to a party or a group of people I don't know and I shut down...very shy and reserved my clients wouldn't recognise me... yet both are me. I behave strictly according to my comfort level in each social situation:)

I don't think you can/should judge someone's behavior unless you truly know them!

12 years ago

ManidipaM

Veteran

Since I've had trouble being taken seriously at work before --- when I was perceived as too young for the post, so it's just a 'trial' because they couldn't get anyone else(!), when I was the short plump little lady with no kid (therefore not quite grown-up herself?!) in the midst of tall graceful amazonian moms, or when I was the 'girl' among all the men --- I do have a tendency to channel an older, slightly schoolmarmish persona through my clothes sometimes, when it comes to business dealings.

It also helps with the opposite problem --- of seeming too approachable to the girls in a gender-divided office, until they expect me to huddle with them at lunch and through coffee breaks. It gets unprofessional, and while I'm happy to hang out with the individual people outside work, I don't like to reinforce the gender lines in the office. Playing down the playful or feminine imperceptibly discourages that, I find --- no one ever remarks on it, but they don't automatically assume I'm going to hang out with them; on the other hand, the boys feel they can talk to me better than someone with a more 'feminine' aura. Of course, I don't like the stereotyping either, though I'm taking advantage of it there!

I can't say I like to dress more mature or stiff or bland, though. I'd actually prefer to dress more age appropriately, with a little whimsy and a more colourful palette --- and with a little bit of the maverick and hell-raiser I am in private life showing through the obvious shyness and introversion. Indeed, I've gotten increasingly impatient with dressing for two faces.

I don't hold back my 'gentler' (read: sympathetic, tolerant) side at work --- even if old-fashioned bosses think I should; so why should I avoid the 'feminine'?

I'm passionate about gender and social issues --- I don't hold forth on my political opinions, but will *not* prevaricate or equivocate if asked; so why shouldn't my dress also reflect that I'm a bit of an outlier?

In my non-business aspect, I do dress a lot more casually and a little more colourfully, even experimentally --- oddly, for a shy person, it works really well to take the focus off me and shift it on to my clothes or bracelet or bag, even as it boosts my confidence and outgoingness! I used to do that at work too when I was younger; but found it can be counterproductive --- I rail against that, but I live in dread of losing 'authority' again because of it!

Have to find a middle ground, I guess, and I've just started trying.

12 years ago

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Thank you so much for your replies. YLF is such a diverse community and yet we are all to some extent in agreement. We agree we are all mutli faceted, we agree we try to express our personalities through our clothing and we hope we are sending out the right signals. Fashion is fun but the more you delve into personal style the more complex it can become.

12 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

One of my wardrobe struggles is presenting an image that's consistent with who I am. I'm somewhat aware that there's a disconnect between how I appear and what I'm like. And people want and deserve truth in advertising.

12 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Great thoughts!

I think you are in control of which aspects of your personality you *want* to express through your style - and which you want to leave a mystery.

Also, I think it's VERY normal to have a work persona and a private persona. You don't need to show every one every facet of your personality. At some point - this must be earned through friendship.

12 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I definitely have two very distinctive personas - my work one, which you all see reflected in my style here. And my "natural" one - an avid gardener and hiker (hiking boots, cargos, tees, and fleece). These two worlds never collide and that is deliberate. I keep work at work and home is very private. I feel equally comfortable in both personas, I just don't mix them.

12 years ago

Vicki

(website)

Veteran

This is fascinating reading and I feel somewhat like Taylor in that while some see me as sociable and I have grown to be more comfortable in groups, for a long time I considered myself shy and reserved, especially in crowds or at parties, where I would seek the company of one person that I would know, before venturing forth.

Now, I'm much more comfortable with myself and just go for it, because, as Diane Von Furstenberg says, "You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company" or her other fine quote, "The biggest mistake a woman can make is not to be herself in public or private."

So, I do my best to dress for the occasion, but also to dress in a way that speaks with my inner voice. It's another way of expressing ourselves and being who we are.

12 years ago

Anonymous

I think I have two personas, not hugely diverse but a bit different, and it lends to 2 sets of clothes ...plus the conservative nature of my work world ( banking/ finance) has led me to dress conservatively...I have wondered sometimes if I worked somewhere more creative, would I dress more flashy/flamboyant?

12 years ago

christieanne

Veteran

I think The Queen most definitely showed Elizabeth's two sides by using her fashion as a vehicle - the prim suit/dress at work and the tweeds/sweater sets/scarf for "private". It is interesting that the staff at Balmoral was so much more relaxed (except when they scatter from the kitchen during phone call) and not so much of the formal protocol that you see in the work mode.

I would imagine most of us have different personas at work and home whether it reflects in a change of clothes or not. Being the one "in charge" all the time wears me out sometimes and I like my husband and family to make decisions at home (what to have for dinner for example). I can't really do that ultimately at work - I try to empower and teach team to problem solve independently but in the end, I know it's me.

The interesting thing in The Queen is the portrayal of Elizabeth as a mother/grandmother. She is not the warmest soul yet speaks so adamantly about how her first duty is to the grandchildren. Duty is in the eye of the beholder?

12 years ago

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