the perils of *not* saving your best - YouLookFab Forum

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the perils of not saving your best

crazyone

Veteran

Several years ago, before YLF, I used to be a "saver". I had some nice clothes, and for the most part, I'd save them for special occasions. But around the time I joined YLF, I decided that that was stupid, and I should just dress better all the time and not save those nice clothes. So I did, and I've never looked back. Which is overall a good thing--I wear most of the clothes I buy, mostly fairly frequently, and I'm often very well dressed.

BUT--I sometimes wonder if I skew overdressed, as I'm sometimes wearing clothes just for my everyday life (work, casual social events) that many other people consider special occasion clothing--i.e. j.crew or madewell silk or lace dresses that based on online comments most others are wearing for say, weddings. I'm also not the best about maintaining silk, etc. either, since I live in a rental with shared laundry--which means that I wear the garment multiple times with airings in between but no washing (hopefully that's not TMI). I also usually cook in whatever clothes I'm wearing and that can be these nicer garments--I've ruined silk blouses by getting oil spatter on them. Part of the reason why I end up wearing nice things for cooking or to work is that I tend to like only wearing one outfit all day until i change into my pajamas--so if I have a social event after work, I'll show up to work wearing whatever dress I want to wear to it, or if I've worn something nice to work and am cooking afterwards, I'll just keep it on. I get great joy out of wearing these clothes but I wonder if I come off as a bit odd for doing so--though all of these clothes are modest enough for the workplace.

The other frustrating aspect of being a "wearer of nice clothes" is that nothing then becomes good enough for a special occasion, because you're used to wearing it on a day-to-day basis. Angie, close your ears, but I've taken to wearing fancy maxi dresses to weddings because they're the only type of dress I won't wear day-to-day (due to the floor-sweeping impracticality and need to wear heels) so they still have that special "dress-up" feel.

Does anyone else feel similarly? Are you a saver or a wearer?

Dressing

26 replies

Latest reply was from crazyone

anne

Veteran

I tend much more to "saving" than you. Unlike you, I always change when I get home and wouldn't cook in silk or special lace!

I also wear clothes for several times without washing if they seem still clean! Saves on wear and tear I think.

I can relate though, to your thoughts of "nothing becomes good enough for a special occasion, because you're used to wearing it on a day-to-day basis"

I have only a few dresses (a one shoulder cocktail dress, and a festive red bubble one) that I don't wear to work as well, and if I'm going to a wedding say, I end up wearing something I'd wear to work, so yes, doesn't feel as special.

rachylou

Veteran

I do have a dress up capsule, but wear every thing else to death. The thing is, I feel no less bad about some Walmart pants than I do something finer. I worry I'm not just RATE, but that I'm a mess...

Kaelyn

Veteran

I have a few things that I "save," but not many. My casual lifestyle helps because 95% of what I own is both casual and inexpensive so if something gets ruined I'm sad but it isn't the end of the world and I can easily replace it. Most the things I "save" are shoes, because I've never been able to pull off the high heels worn casually with jeans look some women can rock every day. I have a couple dresses I wear mostly on special occasions, but other than that, everything gets worn regularly. If anything, I feel like I don't have ENOUGH nice, special occasion clothing because I'm so unwilling to buy things I'm not going to wear often. That said, it's just a different way of doing things. There is nothing wrong with wearing dressy things every day (as casual as I am, I'm still dressier than most people, just not as much as it sounds like you are) as long as you're happy doing so. If you're worried about ruining clothes doing day to day things like cooking, I'd suggest wearing an apron or even changing into something else in order to do those things.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Ugh. Ok - I am a saver. I love fancy clothes, but they are simply impractical for my super casual lifestyle. I work from home, have a dog who sheds massive amounts of hair round the year and likes to lounge on our furniture, and spend a good amount of time gardening/cooking/household chores everyday too.

The small two-door wardrobe in my room houses the clothes I wear everyday. Post YLF, I ensure that these are casual but smart clothes that make me feel happy and confident all day long. However, these are all easy to wear, easy to wash, comfortable clothing that doesn't feel too restrictive, is stretchy, and I don't worry about 'spoiling' these clothes.

On the other hand, I love fitted, structured, luxe clothing that is far too impractical for my everyday life. I store these in my guest-room cuoboard and wear clothes from this wardrobe whenever I'm going out.

Needless to say, my dressier nicer clothes don't get as much wear as everyday wear clothing. But I still like this distinction in style. It helps me feel happier and more special in the 'going out' clothes, even if it's just a nice drapey top and well-fitting pants. For example, my bootcut jeans hemmed for heels, feminine blouses in delicate materials, everything made from lace, fitted skirts and pretty flared dresses all fall into this category.

JAileen

Veteran

I guess I'm a saver. Like Maneera, I live a casual life with dogs. I like to have some nice things to throw on when I have somewhere to go. If I wore nice things to say, weed the vegetable garden, what would I have to wear to go to lunch with my friends? I most certainly wouldn't wear a silk blouse to fry food in, even with an apron.

Bijou

Veteran

I seem to have a foot in both camps. I have "special" items that I save for occasions and then as I get newer items into my wardrobe, I tend to downgrade them into the more general rotation. For example my special items include a dress that I bought for a school reunion. It is a tailored navy woollen dress. Given it is a shift dress with sleeves, it will be perfect for work. Currently I wear it on special occasions but plan to downgrade it to my regular working wardrobe when I replace it with a new "special" dress. I do this rotation also with shoes and handbags too. I have a few rarely worn more formal items, which hardly get used, so I rarely add to these. I much prefer adding to the part of my wardrobe that gets worn regularly (either for work or leisure). I also have a home casual capsule of wash and wear items that I love to change into when I get home. I cannot imagine cooking in silk, but I applaud you for doing it!

shaz

I don't really have anything to save for best at the moment well maybe a black dress that comes out once in a while when I need to dress up a little I have a few things on order but other then that the last things I bought were maternity wear two babies ago As I spend most of the week with hair tied back and no make up on I tend to think I look a little better just when I can let me hair down put on some make up although that's not working so great around the eyes right now and an outfit that has not been spit up on that day simple oh and some heals I don't wear any in the week little lads not long walking and I'd be worried about little fingers views not always great when I'm carrying one and the other wee fella is zipping around

approprio

(website)

Veteran

Total, shameless wearer here. I love having nice clothes and I'm thrilled to show up at special occasions in things I'd wear to the supermarket. ("oh, this old thing?") I don't have to tie myself in knots worrying about what to wear for an event, because I know what's in my wardrobe and how to wear it. There are a few things that get less wear for practical reasons and I try to go easy on more delicate pieces. And I always change my clothes and wear an apron to cook!

I think the key for me is having enough variety in style and silhouette to keep me from boredom, so things get rotated from season to season. I try to make sure when adding more formal wear that it's something I'd be happy to wear in a more casual context too.

Disclaimer: I live in a smart-casual culture. People around here dress up quite rarely, so there's not much call for really formal wear.

I like Bijou's approach of keeping something special for a while, and then downgrading it to day to day wear. Makes perfect sense.

Jjsloane

Veteran

I've tried to take any opportunity to wear the nicer things. Life's too short and you bought it for a reason right? Go team wear! I do have some that are too dressy for most occasions and get no play, but I try to think more before I buy those items anymore.

Summer

Veteran

Your second paragraph resonates very much with my attitude to "nice" clothes: when I'm going somewhere special, I want to feel special. I need to know I have something pristine in my closet that I can just put on and go, and that hasn't been worn for a "lesser" event.
I aim to have nice, appropriate clothes for every part of my life whether ultra-casual, smart-casual or dressy. There's scope for some overlap, and I'll sometimes keep on a dressier top, for instance, if I'm sure I won't be doing anything messy for the rest of the day, but mostly the capsules stay separate.

Summer

Veteran

Just popping back to say that life-style and environment have a big influence, too. If I were to live a city life with no pets or garden, and if I could employ a cleaner, I'm sure I would be in my dressier clothes much more often.

Anonymous

I am a saver that would absolutely LOVE to learn to start wearing my clothes. I have gorgeous pieces that sit in my closet "waiting" for that perfect event. It kills me.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I am not a saver of "good" stuff. I rely on lint rollers for dog hair and an apron for cooking.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Kuddos for wearing all your clothes all the time. You want to look good in your life.

Not feeling "content" when having special occasions: It' just an illusion (hoo, hoo, hoo, aha). Au contraire, when you dress up, you can focus on just one special element that might be trending, plus you are guaranteed comfort since you know how your clothes feel. You dress up quicker too. You are more likely to be daring and fashionable because the pieces in themselves don't intimidate you as much.

Thirkellgirl

Veteran

I'm definitely a saver, but trying to change that by making my wardrobe more casual overall so that I feel comfortable wearing my most flattering stuff to the places I go the most - the grocery store and local errands, the bike path to walk, church and ladies' class during the week. I've tried (and am still trying) to dress "up" more for these things but if I dress up too much I feel conspicuous and like I'm inappropriately fancy. Since reading the MOTG posts when I first joined the forum I've done much better. I've invested in some Athleta/Title IX casual gear and I generally feel like a million bucks when I wear those items.

Gail

Veteran

I used to be a pretty big saver but have found that many of the clothes went out of style before I had got much wear out of them. I am wearing many more items and really trying to be more flexible in how I wear them. Such as wearing a denim jacket with a dressy dress to make it more casual and also wearing more of my jewelry with jeans etc. I won't lie, I still find it hard though !!!

always trying

Veteran

I would never wear good things around the house. dogs claws snag good sweaters, cooking mostly gets spots on them, and wear old clothes for gardening and cleaning. Dressy is in a special section of the closet. But I have a larger section that are my get fixed up clothes.

I am glad to see that I am not the only one who does not wash some things frequently.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I LOVE that you set the stylish example, Crazyone. Rock on.

And I really like high-low maxi dresses actually.

MsMary

Veteran

I feel very fortunate because I have to dress up for work, so I get to wear nice clothes every day. I do change when I get home, because to me that signals the end of the workday and beginning of a relaxing evening. Also, I generally workout at the gym after work so I am usually in gym clothes, which I will wear for the evening.

I am a messy cook too, and the thing that saves me is wearing an apron every time I cook. Otherwise every single thing I own would be covered in grease splatters!

Diana

Veteran

I'm largely a wearer, because I want to wear my clothes. In some ways I am lucky (and you too) that I don't have any dress codes at work; yes, it's casual for the most part but nobody really cares what I wear but me. If I dress outside of the norm, it's just largely seen as some academic quirk. Yet I still have a decent collection of special occasion only clothes, mostly things that are pretty but impractical (small clutches that don't fit my everyday stuff, shoes I can't commute in, necklines too low for work, etc). That said, a lot of my wardrobe does cross over between work/everyday and dressier (although maybe not the super dressy) occasions. I also seem to go to more special occasion-wear events than most, so everything gets worn, if not frequently at least every once in a while.

I never cook in my street clothes though. Always loungewear. I am messy in the kitchen, plus I am super sensitive to smells on my clothes and person, so any hint of cooking/food smell and the item has to go into the wash. Aprons don't prevent the smell problem. Since I don't want to wash my nice clothes too much (like you, I have shared laundry, plus I don't want to ruin the clothes by overwashing) I keep them out of the kitchen entirely.

Keix

Veteran

I'm a saver by nature, but I've been trying to wear my nicer clothes more often. That said, I have two distinct categories of nicer dresses: ones that can cross between formal and dressy casual, then ones that are strictly special occasion. See attached Finds below for the latter category:

- a 2-ply floral silk qipao (traditional Chinese dress) which is still unworn, but I'm waiting patiently for the right occasion
- a strapless cocktail-length dress with tulle underskirt, one of my favorites to pull out for holiday parties
- a dark floral silk dress that somehow feels distinctly dressier than my other silk dresses
- a tailored pencil dress, too business-y to wear to work in my ultra-casual tech environment.

So, to feel "special" when I dress up, I'll pull out one of these pieces (usually one of the two cocktail dresses) or else purchase a new dress that may be dressed down later but still feels special at first wearing.

View Info

Overwhelmed Aster Dress

View Info

Top Pick

2

Blurred Hydrangea Dress

View Info

Top Pick

1

Channeled Dots Column Dress

View Info

Top Pick

1

Helena

Veteran

I am less a non-wearer of dressier things as a non-buyer of dressier things! I tend to dress up my basics as I don't have many real dress up occasions.

Would a capsule approach help you out ... so you still have some pieces that only come out for special occasions that would feel new, even if not particularly dressier than usual?

DonnaF

Veteran

I used to be a saver. Big time. But I have no pets, don't garden, and DH cooks, and I pretty much lead a casual lifestyle with no fancy parties or weddings to attend. Then, I vowed to stop buying DCO stuff, including jackets and skirts, and to wear aprons pretty much all the time at home since my front can sometimes get grubby. I only work part time and will retire in a few years, so I am trying to avoid buying items like those Halogen pencil skirts that scream *work only*. I am still a bit selective when wearing items to potlucks and other *hazardous* situations, but I now wear much more of my wardrobe more often.

Anonymous

I'm not too much of a saver. I have a couple of dresses that are reserved for special occasions, but the rest of my wardrobe gets worn routinely. I can truthfully say I have a useful wardrobe. My problem lately has been finding pieces that work with the shoes I have to wear with my fussy feet. I love heels, but can't wear them anymore, and I just don't feel that dressy when I dress up. Can anyone relate to that? I've always loved shoes, and now I'm restricted. I need to be more creative, but don't exactly know how.

catgirl

Veteran

I'm not a saver so much as someone who stashes items for a fantasy life. I don't save good items - I'll wear leather skinnies on a casual weekend, for instance. But I might have a dress or top fit only for a very limited situation that may never see the light of day, JUST IN CASE.

I almost bought the j. crew lace shirt that Viva has but in blue and green, because I might have an occasion on which it would be appropriate someday (like if the Queen Mum had me to tea). But I had to think - delicate, easily torn lace? Unlined sleeves? Lack of actual occasions to wear? Reality is such a slap in the face!

crazyone

Veteran

Just as an explanation of the "cooking in nice clothes" thing--I tend to do a lot of social cooking, either cooking with/for my now ex-boyfriend for "at-home" dates, or having friends over to cook. So those are occasions that I would dress up for, being inherently social occasions, but I'm still at home throwing things into splattering oil. I'm bad about aprons though I do tend to remember more frequently if I'm wearing something made of silk. Also, in grad school, I was frequently doing lab stuff (non chemical based, just more along the line of building things) while dressed up. It always seemed to be the days that I'd worn a skirt or dress that I'd be crawling on the floor looking for parts I'd dropped!

This thread made me realize something--I just don't do loungewear, hardly at all. I think I have one pair of pants that I'd consider loungewear, though I bought them as "play tennis pants" (they have pockets). Even on a non-workday, I'll putter about in my pajamas until I shower, and then I change into my "real clothes" for the day, which are usually smart casual for the weekend, and then I stay in them until an hour or two before bed, when I change into pajamas. Maybe this habit comes from years of grad school/postdoc where I would often go to lab on the weekends? I also live with a roommate, not with family so there's a bit more pressure to be dressed up in case people I don't know show up.

I see we're about evenly mixed between wearers and savers. Funnily enough, I remember transitioning from one to the other--people noticed, I can tell you. I found it irritating because people assumed I was doing it for romantic reasons (there wasn't even anyone in the picture at the time!) when the motivation was very simple--to get more joy out of my nice clothes by actually wearing them instead of saving them. And I've never looked back!

TG, I actually do have a small capsule of special-occasion only clothes, like maxidresses or pencil skirts, etc. But I feel like the ante has been raised, so to speak. I honestly have like, 15+ dresses that would be wedding appropriate but I only wear the same 2 or 3 to weddings because the others feel too every-day because I wear them...every-day.