The last few days... - YouLookFab Forum

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The last few days...

Hil

(website)

Veteran

have been torrid! I finish up this job tomorrow and then I am off for just over a month. I start my new job on the 2nd of January.

I have worked for these people for almost 7 years and I have pretty much been ignored for the last 5 weeks. I kept telling myself it was almost over and I have just put my head down and worked. I am a big believer in not burning my bridges and that karma is a bitch.

I doubt I will even get a proper goodbye tomorrow - it's all quite hurtful really because at times, I have felt quite fond of the folk here. Ah well... onward and upward!

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17 replies

Latest reply was from Eliza

anne

Veteran

Oh Hil - sometimes the last stretch is the hardest. Still just one more day. And it is very hurtful the way they are dealing with your departure.

Anonymous

Hil, I think you made the best decision to leave. I'm sorry they have been so ungrateful for the hard work you put in the last 7 years, but as you say... onwards! Enjoy your month off before your next job. Have a bit of fun with your wardrobe

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Oh dear Hil, just go through it. Every time you feel the way you did when you posted this thread, remember - this was not productive environment for you, you were meant to leave, you are lucky you're leaving. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. You won't believe just how useful this bitter episode will turn out for you in the long run, trust me.

And actually, if it was me - I'd not just not burn the bridges, but bring the cake for the team and some wine or pralines as the good-bye gift to the company owners. That's how you leave in style. Let them wonder. No bitterness, just class act - something I leant from my husband!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Big hugs to you Hil. Just think of all their bad behaviour & see it as a sign that you are doing the right thing. Remember you cannot control what they do, but your behaviour is impeccable & that is what is important. Enjoy your time off

When the going gets tough I turn to Dr. Seuss

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Hil

(website)

Veteran

Thanks ladies! The words of wisdom and encouragement mean a lot! Also YLF has been a really welcome distraction!

Ornella - I'm going to mull over your suggestion. Someone else suggested the same thing and I guess if anything I could take joy in seeing them squirm a little!

Gotta love the simple wisdom of Seuss!

Anonymous

Happy last day, Hil!

HiggsMistress

Don't worry about how they treat you - you're just giving them power to influence how "you" feel. Just know that you made the right decision in leaving.

I agree with Ornella in not burning bridges when you leave and to treat them with kindness. One of the things I always did when I left a job was to send a thank you letter (or email) to my former supervisors and colleagues. The letter would always include positive items such as thanking them for their help with projects, meeting deadlines, and funny stories of events that took place. While they may never acknowledge this letter, you will feel better about yourself and remind them of better times. After all, you're the one who's leaving, not them:-)

Good luck with your new job.

Neel

Veteran

Oh dear ...... Hugs to you! I have seen both the good and bad of this last day routine! In my old company, my entire department threw a huge farewell party and I left all teary and in my next company it was almost like they told me *f off*. But I was more than glad to say the same thing back to them and wave them good bye

Happy last day Hil!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Sounds like a very tough passage, Hil. So glad you will get a bit of a break before beginning anew.

JG

My experience is that it's easiest psychologically to give notice and leave promptly, 2 weeks being a workable time before departing. If you'll be leaving in two weeks people have time to hear the news, express shock or sorrow that you're leaving, express interest and perhaps jealousy about your next step, and wonder how they'll get along without you. They'll have just begun to figure that out when you make your exit with grace and good wishes (or at least courtesy) all around.
In contrast, if you give too long a notice your team begins to take its new form while you're still on the payroll. Your colleagues' feelings of shock, envy, and excitement for you wear off and are replaced with resentment because of the extra work and uncertainty your departure will cause. Office politics reach a fever pitch as people compete for the plum parts of your assignment and try to avoid the burdensome ones. You become irrelevant at best and a traitor at times. I saw this scenario play out many times over my career. It horribly magnifies the stress of changing jobs even if- maybe especially if- the change is ultimately in your best interests. Good luck.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I'm glad you have a month to enjoy the holidays before embarking on your new adventure! I'm so sorry your former employers have had difficulty letting go.

I like Ornella's idea, or, as an easier alternative, why not throw a "closure party" for yourself, inviting some of your friends over to toast your new chapter.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

Thanks again everyone for the kindness and advice! x

Archer

Veteran

Hi Hill
How weird, a friend of mine went through the same thing recently leaving a toxic employer and culture after stint much like your own. Did your employer have any 'cult' like connections with groups of religions?

Anonymous

If your old employers were the types to give you a grand send off you probably wouldn't be wanting out of there. Here's to your last day and new beginnings!

Adelfa

Veteran

So sorry they're that way, Hil. I'm glad you'll be somewhere else soon.

Debra

Veteran

It sounds like you have made the right decision Hil.
Enjoy your month off and then your new adventure starts.......

Eliza

Veteran

Some people have absolutely no decency and ability recognize the gifts of others, including those standing right beside them for years. Hil-all you can be is glad you aren't one of them. Your gain is their loss. Here's to a fresh start in the New Year!