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The Gratitude Experiment

AnnieMouse

Veteran

I have this VERY obnoxious (but awesome, I think) habit on FB of drafting a daily gratitude post every morning. I started it a few years ago when I got tired of listening to my own complaints in my head - traffic, ran out of hot water in the shower (thanks, honey!), having a headache, dogs making me nutso, too hot, too cold... It never seemed to end! I always had a litany of things that were bugging me.

So I decided to make a game of it: could I find something about that annoyance to rejoice in?

Sounds nutter, on the face of it, I know. But I tried it, because I was in the midst of a very bad depression, and I had to find something to keep me moving forward instead of giving in. So when I would feel the Mean Reds creeping in on me, I began trying to find a positive in it.

Traffic is a snarl? I have a car of my own! I can listen to whatever music I want while I wait. Look at all this extra time I have to enjoy the weather today. Isn't it lovely that I have a place to be going?

There's no more hot water in the shower? Well, isn't it nice that I have clean running water at all? And think about the miracle of hot water on demand - it wasn't terribly long ago that was a complete luxury! And I get to shower, instead of ladeling it across me, after my hubby!

I've got a mean case of the sniffles and concrete head: but isn't it lovely how often I *don't* feel like this! And that it will be gone in relatively short order, all things considered. Oh! And the fact that a cold isn't deadly anymore? That's astonishingly wonderful. And I have a lovely array of teas to drink, with honey from my friend's hives to put in to soothe my throat.

Since I began doing this, it's become such a thing I look forward to - as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I start thinking about how much good I have in my life, the small things I might take for granted, and what made me smile the day/ night before.

Have you ever tried something like this? What are you grateful for today?

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21 replies

Latest reply was from AnnieMouse

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I have done something similar, and I still do, in a fashion. I read a book years ago that proposed a gratitude journal -- a simple once-a-day entry expressing what we are grateful for. I reached for this in a time when I was struggling with some depression.

Since then, I mostly do this as a matter of habit. Of course I have gripes and complaints, just like everyone, but overall, my days are filled with gratitude. My husband and I joke about how we must sound like broken records, but we are ALWAYS saying to each other how thankful we are for all we have.

Today I am grateful for the beautiful fall-like weather we're having here, for my family and friends, for the companionship of my dogs, for the fact that I am actually working a job that I love, and for my health and my ability to do all sorts of things that I normally take for granted.

I always liked this quote from Meister Eckhart: "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough."

Anonymous

It's a great Idea to something like that for yourself every day. It could even be done as a sort of diary too. I do a similar thing weekly on OT on here called Happy Moments feel free to join in sometime.
As for me... today I'm grateful that the painkillers I took earlier have taken away my sinus headache.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I am curious Annie. Do you find that it has changed your attitude? Do you have a more positive outlook on life now?

I am finding myself getting more negative and really need to find strategies for overcoming it so am very interested in the outcome.

Thanks for sharing.

AnnieMouse

Veteran

Diane, thanks! I will join in there That's a great thing.

Dianthus, it has. I wouldn't say that it resolved the depression, but I would say it helped me recognise that the chemical imbalances of my depression were creating a false reality I was living in. It helped me realise that, while I didn't *feel* the positives, they were there and I had to be conscious of them. The process of seeking out something good to focus on, even in the really terrible things, made me rethink the things that were bad. Are they bad? Is there a positive? Even in the worst of them, there was something positive to hold on to, which reminded me that there is, ultimately, a light.

While the small things are often what stack up, dragging us down, it works for the big things, too. When my Daddy was terminally ill, and ultimately passed on - and I was unemployed- I was able to use this practice to be grateful that I was able to be present for him, able to help my Mom, able to be the touchpoint for all the family and friends who needed to have someone to talk to but didn't want to burden Mama. It also really helped me crystalise how short our time truly is, and remind me to live to make myself happy.

So, yes, I would say it shifted a lot for me. I'm now known for my gratitude, and I think it informs everything I do.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Thanks Annie. I think this might be a good thing for me to do.

Instead of feeling like I am not challenged at work, I should be grateful that I have a very good job that gives me a lot of flexibility and lets me work with a really good group of people.

Instead of being upset that the flooring in my new home is not even, I should be happy that I have a beautiful new home and many others don't have that luxury.

Sometimes we do forget all the great things in our lives and focus on the small negatives. I very much appreciate that reminder.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Lovely idea, Annie. I have heard of the gratitude journal, as Janet described, but not the practice of looking inside the very thing that is irritating you for the silver lining. Thank you!

deb

Veteran

Pollyanna and the Glad Game. I love that book and movie.

biscuitsmom

Veteran

A true eye-opener. Thank you...

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Yes I keep a journal - even on the worst days I can always find things to feel grateful for.

When things aren't working out for him, my husband uses the question - how many people will die because of this? If the answer is none, which it usually is, it puts things into perspective for him

Kristin L

Veteran

That's a great practice Annie!

I'm thankful for being able to see a physician who listens to me and understands me.

Kim

Veteran

I don't keep a journal, but I do try and maintain a positive attitude at all times. One of the best things I ever heard on the subject was to reframe the complaint by using the term "I get to"....

Instead of "I have to wash these darn dishes by myself AGAIN..." (Implying I don't get enough help around the house, and I'm a martyr, I use the phrase "I GET to wash the dishes by myself again." The simple change in phrasing reminds me that I have food on the table and dishes that are dirty because of it. Be thankful for food and plenty of dirty dishes. Many people don't have either. I remember all the times when I wanted the kids to leave me alone, just for a few minutes, (a young mom of 3 kids under 4 years old) and look now, here it is! LOL

It helps me to find the good in anything and that's a good thing for me.

Try it, it's quite enlightening.

Krista

Veteran

I used to have a gratitude journal. I don't have one anymore, but I still try to change my perspective when things are not going well because otherwise, I obsess on stuff and can really get myself worked up. I like challenging myself to see things differently because I really think it has helped me to become more open-minded about life and other people.

I am enjoying this discussion. Thanks for bringing it up!

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

I end my blog post every day with several things I am grateful for each day. Right now my husband is dealing with BS at work and is home for a few days... We are rejoicing in time together and he is spending time at the gym... We are grateful that his manager threw a fit for him questioning and seeking truth and sending him home... He is taking our boys to a museum that he's been wanting them to see...I can turn any negative into a positive.

Anonymous

Your thread reminds me of what I try to practice daily but as prayer. Several years ago I attended a day retreat given a young nun. What I remember was that we could use the little things we do each day to help us to pray often, if not continually. Her example was that the priests say a prayer for each garment they put on as they get dressed...not necessarily thankful, sometimes asking for strength or guidance, etc. We were to think of things we do and what we could say to God while doing it. Later everyone shared. I still can't take a shower without thanking God for the blessings of clean running water, sweet smelling soaps, the gift of a private place to bathe, etc.

My sister is good at turning annoyances into good, seeing the annoyance or struggle as given as a blessing. For example, several years ago we were driving our elderly father to see a relative several hours away. We were in a hurry but Dad insisted we stop for ice cream. This all seemed to take forever. Finally back on the road and just a few miles ahead we passed a horrible car accident. If we had not stopped, it could very well have been us getting hit by a driver in the wrong lane. We may never know how often we are being protected by something that we take as a hindrance.

JulieJohn

Veteran

Great idea, Annie! I am known in the family as Pollyanna, and it sure has helped me often in life. I am very empathic, so life can be very draining at times. It helps to be optimistic, and to be grateful. It's a creative way of being brave, of believing we can take it, no matter what "it" is.

AnnieMouse

Veteran

Joy, that sounds like the kernal of where the idea of annoyances-as-gratitude sbegan for me, though I'd forgotten! My father once said "you never know how many tiny miracles you're living through every day." And he used an example of a car wreck, too, interestingly ("perhaps, getting stuck at the red light means that someone didn't pull out into you. You'll never know things like this, because the universe is full of tiny miracles."). It stayed with me, and became a bit of what I do.

JulieJohn, that's a REALLY great point. Being positive in the face of the world IS brave in a way that is rarely acknowledged. It's much easier to cave to the distress all around - the news is rarely helpful in this way! - and it's true courage to choose to find good.

Kim, I've done that It's a lovely tool when I'm struggling to find the good.

Krista, Janet: I've never done a gratitude journal in writing, but I do post daily on Facebook. It's had the added bonus of encouraging many of my friends to try it, and it's an additional jolt of happiness to see all the posts on my news feed every day as it spreads. Friends of friends have begun doing it, as well, which I sometimes see pop up, and it always makes me smile to see it spread like that. YAY HAPPINESS!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Annie, I think that's a nice use for FB. I've seen so many people use it as a venting board for complaints and rants in their lives, but not for positive thoughts. (The first time I saw the expression "FML" and figured out what it meant, well, that just made me sad.)

One cannot hold "FML" and gratitude in their hearts at the same time. I choose gratitude.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I am grateful for your post Annie!
I have been attempting the 'Complaint Free World' challenge- going 21 days without complaining- to break this habit, and gratitude is key!

AnnieMouse

Veteran

OH, Lyn, I like that idea a lot! How nice!

I'm adding that as a goal. Thank you!

Lyn D.

Veteran

I have ordered some 'Complaint Free' world wristbands, and others on this forum have expressed on interest in them.
If you like I can send you one when they arrive?
(You wear and have to swap to other wrist each time you catch yourself griping, gossiping etc.)

AnnieMouse

Veteran

that would be fab!