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The Comfort Zone...what makes it?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This question is prompted by Peri's comment on another thread. She mentioned that plaid pants were out of her personal comfort zone. And I thought, isn't that interesting, because I find them the easiest thing in the world to wear. I wouldn't even think twice about them. To me, wearing tartan -- even a fairly bright tartan -- feels downright easy.

But if red plaid is easy, then why the heck did I have to send my plain orange pants to Mary K? What is that about??

You would think that plaid would be tougher than a solid bright. Especially since I do happily wear solid bright skirts (at least in summer).

I honestly can't tell you why one of these fits into my comfort zone and the other doesn't.

Maybe this is a bit like Aziriphale's question about "irrational" preferences regarding colour. Because it does feel pretty irrational.

Do you have inconsistent preferences like this? What is out of your comfort zone that theoretically should be within it? And why?

Dressing

62 replies

Latest reply was from Lyn D.

Thistle

Veteran

Any non dark colored trouser. Skirts in colors are fine.

E

Veteran

I love how slim cut trousers look on me but feel terrible in a slim skirt. Partly I'm sure this has to do with pencil skirts restricting my stride, but even when I'm just standing there, I don't feel myself at all. And while I love wearing full skirts of any kind (pleats, gathers, etc.), I don't like wearing a-line ones. If I had one in my closet, I'd struggle with styling it for sure! Which would all imply that I prefer exaggerated volume on bottom, but then why do I get along so well with skinnies? It's a mystery!

Carla

Veteran

Ruffles and ribbons, pink, and Peter-pan collars. Too girlish makes me uncomfortable. I like feminine, ladylike clothes--for example I am more comfortable in skirts and dresses than trousers. I have experimented with some sewn down ruffles that were more like origami then true ruffles, but I recently donated a sweater with a Peter Pan collar because it made me feel like a little girl every time I wore it! I also have trouble with 'bling'--rhinestones and clothing with hardware.

I can appreciate these styles on others, but they are not in my 'comfort zone'. I really like lace though, and velvet, and leather!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That's a great question, Suz. I think there's an irrational element to your style comfort zone, as well as a history of longevity and familiarity. Much like childhood comfort food. You've probably been wearing bright tartan your whole life - me too. It's a walk in the park. As are my sour brights. But pop me into oatmeal - new Boden jumper and TR Cameron khakis - and I'm outside my comfort zone.

carter

Veteran

Struggling a bit with where the line is between "outside of my comfort zone" and "not my style". For instance, I wouldn't be uncomfortable wearing dainty jewelry, but it is certainly not my style. I'd be comfortable wearing something a bit RATE, but it's not my style. Your thoughts on where the line is?

Deborah

Veteran

Yes, I think this is a quite an emotional issue and one that as Angie says is not always rational. I tend to me uncomfortable outside of my 'style zone'. As Carter suggests it could be interesting to define what is not our style as opposed to what is outside our comfort zone. I need to think on this more. Great question Suz.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

It's blocks of bright colours for me - patterns are different somehow. I know I look good in brights but I really find them difficult to wear "comfortably". It isn't a fear of standing out because a lot of the clothing I wear is bright white & different from the norm here - no idea Oh & showing too much cleavage is never right for me.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Familiarity to some degree I'd think.
As for similar but not equally comfortable for me, short shorts vs. skirts of the same length. Yes on the shorts above fingertip length, no on the skirts until they get past fingertips and then some.
Tight pants and jeans are a yes. Tight bodycon dresses are quite out of my comfort zone, although I have one or two for dress up times.

E

Veteran

Mo I'm the same! I wear mid thigh (and shorter) shorts without a second thought but feel uncomfortable in skirts much higher than my knee cap.

DonnaF

Veteran

Tight/bodycon ANYTHING. I can understand the pants; skinnies add 10-15 pounds to my frame because they highlight my disproportionately short heavy legs. But the Bailey 44 bandage dress and similar VC top actually look pretty good on me because I have some curves but there's not all that much bomb to shell. I've never worn bodycon, not even as a teen/young adult. Maybe that wasn't the style in those days as it has been for teens these past few years?

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Dress slacks. All other types of pants I find very easy to wear, but not dress slacks. And you've got me as to why. Really, what's the difference between the plaid ankle pants I wore yesterday and a pair of dress slacks, other than that the length is longer and dress slacks are cut a tad wider? Yet when I try on dress slacks, I get all "Oh I don't know what I would wear with these." If I can come up with outfits for other pants, why not for dress slacks?

Greyscale

Veteran

This is all really interesting. And because our comfort zones are so individual and idiosyncratic, a lot of us end up saying negative/uncertain things about our own WIWs that no one but ourselves would ever think of!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Is style ever rational really? I think this is where emotions really play a huge role - just remember that happiness factor!
I can clearly see why red plaid is easier for you than the orange trousers. First of all blue red is your color and orange is not (how many other orange items you have in your possession? none?)
Secondly unless a pattern is combining several very bright colors it is easier to wear that a solid bright. Just look at your plaid trousers. Red is the brightest color and it is tempered by calmer neutrals (grey? navy? Cannot see plainly but they are neutrals) so overall effect is less bright than just red color would be. In addition if you just compare this red and that orange - orange is much more intense and therefore may be hard to wear.
As I remember even in blues which suit you really well you prefer less saturation - right? And remember you sent back that Pleione white and black striped blouse because it was too much contrast for you?
So here we go - bright saturated colors and strong high contrast patterns are outside of your comfort zone and muted plaid is not.

As for me I don't know anymore what is outside of my comfort zone. Maybe too short and too tight? Too frilly and too busy? However I am not sure - is it outside of my comfort zone or just outside of my style?

Peri

Veteran

Interesting! I'm not sure of the philosophy in general, but I can tell you why I said that.

Can't avoid being blunt...I don't want to put the spotlight on my butt! It isn't a bad looking butt, but I don't want anyone looking at it!

I love bright colors, scarves, attention getting jewelry....focusing anywhere else is fine. I do dress to not make so much of my IT shoulders, but that is for flattery, not because I don't want anyone to see them. No telling what a shrink would say, but dark pants are my comfort zone.

Maybe comfort zone is about putting focus where you don't mind being focused on.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Thank you all. This is very interesting. Angie, I think you are right -- I have been wearing tartan all my life, and it's part of my cultural legacy as well. So it seems easy. Whereas orange is not a colour that flatters me so maybe it was as simple as that. Even though, logically, I *know* that pants are not near my face, something in me still recoils against wearing them (although I like the colour).

I love the two examples you gave because they actually illustrate how it's not just a question of whether or not something is "your style." It's like a Venn diagram. Not all things that are out of your comfort zone are "not your style" (for instance....the oatmeal jumper was in a cut and fabric that you love and fit into your overall style preferences.) The khakis are a more difficult case because you do love BF jeans....but don't typically wear khakis. So they sort of straddle the "out of my comfort zone/ not my style" line.

Carter, Deb -- there are lots of things that are not my style that aren't out of my comfort zone. For example: wearing more obvious jewellery. It's true, if I go too heavy on that, it might end up out of my comfort zone...but mostly, it's just not my style. I do like to experiment with it now and again.

Another example: Head to toe preppy. It's not my style, but it wouldn't be out of my comfort zone. Whereas head to toe bombshell would be not my style AND way out of my comfort zone. Ditto head to toe goth.

And here's a different example. A black leather moto jacket. I'd actually like one, and I think it would fit pretty well into my style. But whenever I try one on, I think: This is WAY out of my comfort zone.

Diana

Veteran

Anything stiff or crisp, like stiff buttondowns or stiff, creased trousers, makes me very uncomfortable and fidgety. Also, like others here, bodycon skirts/dresses are out of my comfort zone but bodycon pants are very much within it.

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

Really bright color and contrasting pattern.
Cannot do it, I feel so self-conscious and actually rather hideous.
Being an introvert, and almost too transparent, I need the softness of neutrals.
I can wear lots of black, very dramatic proportions, odd combinations and things that would be way out of most women in my age group but very hectic pattern- I have done it before and gotten rid of whatever the item was almost immediately after wearing.
Exception- tomato red, I can wear that and coral in the summer.

Sarah A

Veteran

Great discussion, thanks for this thread. Too RATE is definitely out of my comfort zone. I see lots of looks i like with distressed jeans, even ones where I think that's *my style*, but i cant find a personal comfort zone when I try on super distressed or torn clothes. I dont know if it harkens back to my mom fixing all those holes in the knees of my pants or what...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Karie, I hereby order you to get your butt into some dress trousers. If anyone looks great in all kinds of trousers it is YOU. Wear them with pride.

Thistle, the skirt/ pant thing is funny, isn't it? I'm similar, or so it would seem. I will wear pants in colours but not bright ones. I think, Sveta, you are really on to something there. The plaid is more muted than the orange.

E, I feel the same way you do about A line skirts. I used to love them when I was just a bit heavier, but not any more. I don't have the curves to make them look lovely now. You look fabulous in your slim pants and in your wide skirts. I think I do understand your hesitation over pencil skirts, too. I find them more difficult than pants as well. A tube skirt works better because of the taper. Also, the stretch allows you to walk.

Carla, I think ruffles and that kind of detail would compete with your hair! And mess with your crisp, classic style.

Caro, I hear you on the cleavage. Very interesting about blocks of colour when you can wear white. I wonder what that is about. It is the way that some people shy away from pattern, perhaps. And maybe similar to what I was feeling about the orange pants.

Mo - that makes sense about shorts/ vs. short skirts. I always feel "safer" in shorts. You can move around more easily. For an active person, that's key.

Greyscale - yes! It's odd, isn't it. The things that worry us.

Peri, I'll bet your butt is super cute!! But I think you're right, too -- on some subliminal level that probably contributed to my orange pants angst. Although it might seem like the plaid would be worse, as Sveta said, it's actually more muted than the orange.

Gaylene

Veteran

Patterned tops. I'll happily wear a patterned dress, but, unless it is striped or color-blocked, patterned tops languish unworn in my closet. Can't figure it out, but there it is.

Carla

Veteran

That's brilliant, Suz. I never thought about that...

Anonymous

Ha, this is a funny one. I am RATE and embrace it. But I cannot seem to do distressed jeans! Holes in the legs are way out of my comfort zone, which I think is really funny!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gaylene, that is fascinating, because it provides a whole new twist. In other words -- a dress with pattern on the top is fine...but a patterned top is not fine? Has it always been thus? Is it a question of continuity, do you think?

I have to admit that I really don't like to wear patterned tops very often either. I have determined that I can tolerate them only if they are neutral or mostly neutral; at MOST 3 tones (preferably neutral....did I mention they should be neutral??); covered partly by a jacket, for preference, or a knit in a pinch; with a pattern no bigger than my features; preferably a somewhat angular pattern, possibly abstract; and if not abstract, sentimentally meaningful to me.

Whew!!

It's a wonder I ever find any at all.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ceit, that IS funny!!

And Carla -- I do think there's a sleekness to your style that the details you described get in the way of; also a sportiness. If your hair were always straight, you might be able to tolerate a little bit more frou-frou. But as it is, it's just too much. Especially with your specs. You get a much cleaner look and more crispness without that.

Even though my hair is straight, I understand that, because I also shy away from such details. Even though I quite like them on others.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Conventionally flattering modern classic. Because there is still a part of me that sees myself as overweight and ugly. So I may as well be interesting.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Jean, you always look so beautiful in your neutrals -- and I'll bet you look great in reds in summer as well. But because you have a superb colour sense, I'm sure your instincts about what doesn't work on you are right.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Anna, that is fascinating. You are so far from overweight and ugly, but it is hard to let go of those ingrained self- images, I know.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

Fun! haven't read the thread yet, will savor later. But two things strike me - first, as Angie and others have said, is your own emotional history.

But a LOT of it is stuff that doesn't fit with a person's pure aesthetic preferences. It's just that to make all that info conscious and systematized you have to study the visual disciplines at college level for a couple of years, which not a lot of people do. This develops your eye, so you can spot these things, and you learn the vocabulary as well.

But once you get a feel for a person's preferences and they come up with some 'irrational' like or dislike you find often it's come down to something more subtle like scale, thickness/drape of fabric, particular textures, color saturation or greyness or temperature, etc.. Your gut tells you 'no way', because you can tell it's not you, but since you haven't had the training you can't put your finger on it.

Which does not make it irrational, in my humble opinion. Besides, if it's just color or design seriously why on earth does it need to be 'rational' anyways? have fun all, steph

Gaylene

Veteran

Maybe it's partially the continuity but I'm not sure that I'd ever purchase a matching top and skirt in a pattern because it seems like--I don't know--too much pattern? Too busy and fussy for my comfort zone? I do know that generally I gravitate to larger, more abstract, patterns which, to my eye, are shown to their best on the larger scale of a dress. Perhaps I was scared by a Liberty print as a child?

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