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The beautiful skirt I did not buy

Bijou

Veteran

I walked past a shop near where I work and a skirt in the window caught my eye. It was not hard - because the skirt is sooo sparkly and sooo pretty.

I tried the skirt on because often after trying something on and seeing how terrible it looks, it cures me of any desire for the item. However, not with this skirt - it fitted perfectly and was just wow. It is a great skirt - dress it down with a t-shirt and sneakers or dress up with a silk blouse and heels and I don't have a sequinned skirt. It would be so cute with my white boots with silver stars....

The problem is, surprise, surprise, I do not have many places to wear this. If I was going out for drinks with my girlfriends and out for nice (but not black tie) dinners often, then this is perfect. BUT, I already have special occasion clothing and not that many special occasions to wear them. I have a black silk skirt that functions in a similar way and was a fraction of the price of this skirt and not being sequinned is more casual.

Whatever I buy if I can wear it to work, given I am there 5 days a week, then it will be worn a lot. 30 to 100 times, I don't need to count because I know that these items last for years and get worn regularly.

My jeans are holiday and weekend workhorses. Everything looks a bit more casual with denim and jeans are great because I can play with my dogs and run around without worrying. Somehow even with a t-shirt and sneakers wearing this skirt dog walking just does not seem right. Even I would think it was a bit weird to see a Mum on the sporting field watching the match in her beautiful sequinned skirt.

So whilst it was love at first sight, this skirt did not come home with me.

Interested to know if there anything that you have seen recently that was beautiful but you did not buy. I am sure that I am not the only one attracted to fantasy life purchases.

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Shopping

26 replies

Latest reply was from Firecracker (Sharan)

Anonymous

Sad- but understandable
And yep, I wish I could shop for my fantasy life: beautiful formal gowns, giant festival butterfly wings on Etsy, Renfaire costumes in velvet (its usually 80 degrees when I go), belly dance and flamenco dance costumes, etc...Not to mention all the things for mild weather we have only a couple weeks a year.

Reality-extreme climate, I work full time, go to the gym, and help my parents and inlaws declutter! Not exactly glamorous

Sisi

Veteran

Compliments Bijou! It is not easy to resist the temptation to buy something that you like but is unnecessary. I used to be the champion of "fantasy life purchases" in the past. The habit of keeping a wardrobe journal (idea that I got here on YLF) helped me. This past Winter I saw a pretty parka in a store near where I work. I really liked it. It was grey with a pattern of dark-grey polka dots. Hoodie, zip - all details that I like. Length: hip bone. I was going to buy it but decided to wait a day. Then I remembered that time ago I had promised myself not to buy anymore short outerwear. Because of my climate and because of the fact that I run cold, I noticed that I prefer to wear outerwear that goes past my hips. I refrained from buying the lovely parka and never regretted.

Sara L.

Veteran

This was one of the biggest lessons I learned from YLF - stop buying for a fantasy lifestyle. Like you, I don't have many occasions to wear special occasion clothing and I already have more than enough items that fit that category and not enough occasions to wear them.

taylor

Veteran

I have a couple of sequined (shorter) skirts. I dress them down with denim jackets and leather biker style jackets for dinners out and dressier occasions.
That being said , longer sequined skirts are a bit dressier, and kudos to you for having the intellectual discernment and emotional strength to know when to say no !

Runcarla

Veteran

Yup! Yesterday I tried on a cropped scuba fabric top in lilac with a funnel neck and side zips. Looked like something from The Row F/W 2019 and the colour was amazing. All I could think about was how cold my back would feel, even worn with high waisted bottoms. Pass.

OTOH, a couple of years ago I bought a blingy statement necklace (silver, pale blue, and emerald green) that I never wore, but around which I built a lovely capsule for S/S!

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I am in awe of your will power,particularly as you tried it on and it was great.Just keep thinking of how you will spend the money saved by not buying it on something else that you will get the wear out of.

Gigi

Veteran

Good for you for staying strong! I haven't seen anything recently that fits my fantasy life, but things do pop up occasionally. As with you, I have the small number of pieces that I need for these fancier occasions, so there is no need to buy more, unless I want to replace something I already have.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Hmm. Well I think we’d have to see it on to be sure it was only suitable for your fantasy life. Maybe we could come up with ways of making it suitable for everyday If SJP can wear a tutu as everyday wear...

But, to answer your question, I have more of a problem with buying for my fantasy climate than my fantasy life. I overstock on winter wear, when my dominant climate is summer. Summer clothes do not excite me. At all. I probably tend to favour “going out” (work or social) wear over staying home (weekend) wear too.

I saw a beautiful dark teal velvet jacket at Cue that I am very tempted to buy. Have you seen it? I’ve resisted so far because it’s both winter and going out wear.

Mainelady

Veteran

You have will power! The skirt really is beautiful, but you didn’t allow yourself to be swayed. We used to have an amazing boutique near where I live. Oh, the clothing was gorgeous and very well made. Many brands fit me well. I bought several items for special occasion wear. Of course, those items only saw daylight a few times. I had fallen into purchasing for a fantasy life. I learned my lessons and now only purchase special occasion clothing when I have a specific need.

Bijou

Veteran

So fun to read the responses. My will power is not that strong, because I was almost swayed - and like Brooklyn I did think of SJP in a tutu - but the fact is I don't live in New York and I am not SJP which is such a shame because I am sure I would enjoy that lifestyle - although not the dating scene.

@Brooklyn I have seen the Cue dark teal (photo below for others to see) velvet jacket and it is stunning. I have not bought that because (1) I have lots of jackets (2) I have 3 velvet coats and 2 velvet jackets - so I am literally covered for velvet jackets and (3) because I wear gold jewellery I prefer not to have silver zips on my jackets. However I have not tried it on but that would probably be a lethal move as it is such a stunning piece...It is dressy but not excessively so, that is one jacket that I would wear during the day to the office with a black pencil skirt. I can see how it would be perfect for your style, the colour and cut is divine.

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Anonymous

@Brooklyn Get. The. Cue. Velvet. Jacket!!

Bijou

Veteran

Suntiger - yes it does look perfect for Brooklyn!

Brooklyn

Veteran

I’ve already tried it on and it’s DIVINE!!!!!!

I’m done for now.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

There must be something here I’m not understanding! I’m like Ulysses tying myself to the mast, because potential purchases call out to me left & right. Just look at my finds, or just at the shoe portion!

Brooklyn, your velvet coat is beautiful. Can you wear it or your other lovely velvet overpieces to work and other places you would wear this jacket?

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

I am a sucker for anything shiny. I call it “wild card” rather than “fantasy purchase.” Of course, living in Beijing helps because fashions are WILD here!

I admire your clear thinking. The skirt sounds like it might be difficult to launder or dry clean, which just adds complication.

lyn67

Veteran

I commiserate!:-((

SarahD8

Veteran

Fabulous skirt but I cannot argue with your logic.

I also have a very casual lifestyle, and few dressy clothes. I think I need a small dressy capsule just so I'm not caught-out when those occasions do arise. But for now, I have just been looking and not buying. Imagining how I might wear things, what would be most useful and versatile (able to be dressed up or down). Trying to train my eye while I address some higher-priority wardrobe needs.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

have a turquoise sequin skirt.
have not worn it yet.
"Why are you so dressed up?"

Sal

Veteran

I love it (and the teal velvet jacket!!) but probably do agree.

In theory it could be worn to dinners and cocktail events with the right supporting act but you have some stunning dresses in that category.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I have had to discipline myself to stop bringing home dressy dresses that I have limited occasions to wear. Good job resisting!

Joy

Veteran

What Shevia said. You are wise to resist, it you might stalk it to see if it goes on sale at a great discount.

Bijou

Veteran

Ummlila I had to laugh at your response on signature style because I get that comment way too often. Looking forward to seeing your teal skirt, it sounds amazing

Anonymous

The response to "Why are so dressed up?" Is "Because it makes me happy, and life's too short to wear things I don't enjoy!"

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

ST, it takes a certain joi de vivre to pull off that answer. You & Bijou have it!

jussie

Veteran

Good job walking away. Beautiful skirt but it deserves to be worn lol. I have stopped buying for my fantasy life which is good. But I do have an excess of clothes for my actual life lol. So many woolen jumpers......
I have seen that Cue jacket too, it’s a very interesting shape irl, even more distinctive than it looks in the pics- quite edgy and architectural. Would be stunning for Brooklyn.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I admire your reason and discipline. Like you, I will often try on something that calls to me, expecting that it won't work and my curiosity will be satisfied. And sometimes the strategy backfires. I haven't been shopping that much lately, because I feel I have what I need for now, and I recently bought 3 pairs of sneakers and a rain coat that I'm wearing a lot this spring.

It sounds like the teal velvet jacket you and Brooklyn found might go nicely with Ummlila's tourquoise sequin skirt. Ha!