The Abyss of Blah - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Inspiration

The Abyss of Blah

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

“ Once it seemed that working out your taste muscle was part of growing up and defining yourself. But over time, the desire to look good, the willingness to care about appearance, to be fashionable, became taboo for a large swath of the population, Ms. Pearlstein said. The people who cared about aesthetics cared deeply. Everyone else? They lost their appetite to be discerning. A sameness descended. It didn’t happen abruptly, as if we stepped off a cliff into an abyss of blah. It happened incrementally.”

This whole piece is good:

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/1.....-ios-share

18 replies

Latest reply was from Liz

cat2

Veteran

So interesting. I was just musing this morning if there is any place where shopping is still fun. I was a loyal Neiman Marcus customer until they took away the fun. The fashion director who penned notes about where fashion was headed. The concierge shopper who actually understood business attire and business gifts. The busy in store makeup and perfume counters. The arrangement with American Express that netted in store lunches, free alterations, etc. Instead they told the WSJ they didn’t want customers who spent less than 25K a year.

kkards

Veteran

I read this a couple of days ago, and it spoke to me. I really appreciated what Robin Givhan had to say about window shopping. She so perfectly articulated what I miss about brick and mortar shopping. You can scroll and scroll but it’s just not the same.

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

karen23

Agreed.

But I didn't really stop caring about having clothes that looked good. I just pretended at work that I didn't care about fashion. It was so much easier to wear khakis and knit tops to work and to let sports fan gear take a real place in my office wardrobe.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Thank you so much for sharing the article! Whenever you or another subscriber does I really enjoy them. I resist signing up for myself as I just feel so incredibly removed from New York, down here at the bottom of the world. It’s a really interesting article. For me I think there is some nostalgia from how we used to shop when I was a child in the 60s and a preteen in the early 70s, when my carefully budgeting mother took us across the city a couple of times a year to wonderful B&M children’s clothes stores and picked out special outfits. There was an anticipatory excitement that I think this author taps into when she discusses window shopping. I presume my mother just had to trust that the store owners were going to have chosen good stock as she could not check it out in any other way- unless there were newspaper advertisements?
I think when finding something like my recent red sparkly sandals I get a frisson of that same kind of feeling. Sadly not a shared experience though.
And maybe we were quite compliant children/preteens ready to go along with our mother’s choices! I don’t remember the same experience from teenagehood onwards.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, thanks for sharing this, Lisa! I hadn't seen it earlier and I'd have been sad to miss it. I really think she is onto something. Like Jenni, I remember the anticipation of seasonal shopping as a child and teen. I *still* like to shop in seasons, primarily -- but the beautiful window shopping and department store browsing is mostly gone. I do miss it.

Dee

Veteran

Wonderful read, and yes, shopping certainly isn't what it once was. There's too much sameness now and the quality has sunk to new lows. All those private equity firms consolidating retail has just sucked so much of the fun and style right out shopping. TikTok and IG have us jumping from one silly themed nickname core to another.
I loved the big grand department stores that are basically no more. They had these wonderfully curated displays that sparked the imagination and often rather glamorous restaurants to eat at too. I also hate seeing all the malls that are struggling too, there have been so many store closures. Online shopping may have its pluses but there have been plenty of minuses because of it too. There, that's my rant done now. Thank you.

Kate

Veteran

What a wonderful article. Thanks, Lisa.

I remember the anticipation of back to school shopping with my mother and sister, when she would drive the 2-1/2 hours to Raleigh so we could shop at the grand old Hudson Belk there. It was a full-day experience, but so much fun. The store had a restaurant, where, during the lunch hour, models walked between the tables, showing off the latest fashions!

Here in DC, I so miss Garfinckel's. Much of my working wardrobe came from there. I could walk to the beautiful Garfinckel's building at 14th and F on my lunch hour—wonderful old Lord and Taylor too—and window shop. The pleasure of the visual, of looking, imaging how you would look in a particular outfit, where you would go, scenarios of what you would do, all that was wrapped up in the experience of
Garfinckel's for me. I still have a beautiful pair of royal blue leather gloves from Garfinckel's, and I well remember the experience of buying them there. I probably have more memories of Garfinckel's and the clothes I bought there than any other store anywhere.

LJP

Veteran

I have a vague recollection of reading this last week - haha - and the Robin Givhan article too. Yeah, those were the good old days of retail. It's still great if you are in a very high income bracket and can travel to shop or shop in the luxury boutiques most major cities still have but for the rest of us ordinary people, the sheer enjoyment is gone. I'm always worried for my personal safety when I'm in a mall now - something I never gave 10 seconds' thought to even 5 years ago. That's just one example of the luxury we used to enjoy just shopping - freedom to imagine, explore, ponder, and not worry about being caught in a violent event. I know for a fact that modern retail and shopping in general how has taken away my ability to curate a great wardrobe. I'm always in a rush, searching on line , and never quite discovering really interesting pieces that make me feel excited and in touch with fashion.

Bah Humbug.

MsMaven

Veteran

Oops! I just came back from wandering into the past. One of the fun things about travel to the big cities was visiting the wonderful department stores. I could wander through the upscale sections to look at clothing I'd never wear at home, even if I could afford to buy it. New York, Chicago, and even San Francisco. I used to go to SF to visit my hairdresser and drool over the contents of the Chanel store nearby. I even bought a pair of gold sneakers there once--they were on sale.

As far as I remember, I haven't been in a department store since before Covid. A few weeks ago I bought the prettiest sweater--on Amazon. I love wearing it.

Thanks for this article UmmLila. I loved reading it.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I miss ALL the department stores that have shuttered across the globe, that I’ve enjoyed in the past. All budgets were covered, and that was awesome. Department stores remain my FAVOURITE brick ‘n mortar stores to shop if I’m not shopping online - which I much enjoy too!

Retail has changed dramatically in the last 15 years. This article is interesting. A story of retaliation!

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/1.....rosas.html

judy

Veteran

Thank you for posting this article, UmmLila. Window shopping...so nostalgic!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

That's a really good piece. Thank you for sharing!

I also miss the department stores of the past -- Hecht's, Hutzler's, Bamberger's (which became Macy's), Stewart's, and more recently Lord & Taylor. Nordstrom is not what it used to be around here -- I stopped in one that's about 45 minutes from me, when I was in the area for an event, and I was so unimpressed with the selection and quality. It's sad.

I do enjoy the occasional boutique experience, and we have some in the area that range from mid to high end that seem to be hanging on. I try to support them when I can, but even in the one closest to me, I wasn't wowed by their selections the last time I went in. The styles were skewing too traditional or preppy for me, or were things I already had enough of (denim, tees).

I had a bit more fun shopping in Europe, truth be told. Madrid has some good shopping, and I even got a couple of fun and inexpensive things in Santiago and Porto.

I miss the way that window shopping and B&M shopping could provide inspiration and chance discoveries. I still try to keep an open mind in the "no retail stone unturned" spirit, but bringing a discerning eye to quality also means a lot out there is a disappointment.

cat2

Veteran

I cut through Neiman Marcus over the holidays and it was completely empty. Guess abandoning most of your customer base didn’t go so well.

The only small department style store near me is just for the private jet set. Nothing with a broader range of brands.

Carla

Veteran

You can add catalogues and magazines to the list of lost opportunities.

Ket

Veteran

This is such a lovely article! Thank you for sharing it.

I loved walking through our town's locally owned and operated department store. They had a perfume counter, women's and mens clothing departments, and a large sports and toy department in the basement. They even had a small sewing/fabric department. The family-owned grocery story was on the other side of the building. Really, they were a Super Target or Super Walmart long before the idea existed. They had really nice things. One year, my dad went and purchased a bottle of perfume for my mom, to celebrate their wedding anniversary. I adored the scent! I actually managed to remember the distinct bottle and tracked it down: LouLou by Carachel. It's still almost as good as I remember it.

There was a much larger department store the next town over --maybe a Dillards? That was mesmerizing to walk through. I remember my mother taking me to it when I was little. We were poor but somehow my parents scraped together enough money for piano lessons. And what's more, my mother took me there and found a darling little dress on clearance for my piano recital. It was black and cobalt blue, a mix of velvet and taffeta. With a big bubble skirt. I still remember the sound of the taffeta as I walked.

Jeepers, I miss department stores.

Ket

Veteran

Oh, LJP Lisa! I feel like quoting everything you said about mall shopping! So true. I agree. I never feel relaxed when shopping in the nearby mall, especially if I have my son with me. It's a nice enough mall, but I am always worried something will happen because stuff has happened there. And you know, I don't find people as friendly. Part of it is where we live (which is not the Midwest--different culture) and part of it is idk... the times? No one really smiles at others. No one says "excuse me" after nearly running you over. It's a very lonely existence to shop now -- even for groceries at my local Walmart and grocery store.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Lisa I read this article last week and have been keeping it in mind ever since. The development of taste has been my thesis for this year's fashion study (in my head) and this article really spoke to that. Side silly fact - I used to walk by Barney's all the time when I lived in lower Manhattan and was too intimidated to go in but once or twice.

Liz

Wonderful piece--always love Robin Givhan, whose career I have followed since her days in Detroit.

The comments are interesting, too. Lots of people discussing the benefits of thrifting, but what I'm finding is that fewer and fewer thrift and consignment shops are carrying the high quality clothes of pre-1995 or thereabouts. Most of the inventory I see in the secondhand venue is just mass-market garbage.