In my other thread about my dislike of skinnies growing (particularly in relation to the floral skinnies) Suz asked me the following: "So Shannon....not to delve too deep into territory you might not want to get into, but in case you DO want to get into that territory, WHY do you think you continue to try to make items work that just feel wrong to you?
Is it feeling badly that you got caught up in the excitement of a moment and bought them? Or some other reason?"
That's quite the loaded question Suz. I actually thought about this a lot last night after reading it and delayed replying until I really mulled it over.
I think there a few reasons why I do this:
1. I'm incredibly stubborn. When I buy something that I haven't really thought through (a whim purchase) I then do feel slightly mad at myself for doing so and then MUST figure out how to wear the item or I feel guilty.
2. I think I'm worried I'll get stuck in some sort of style rut - i.e. dress/boots/blazer. I don't want to be completely predictable, you know?
3. I'm not entirely happy with my body shape and weight right now so am maybe forcing it to look different rather than embrace my shape and work with it all the time.
4. There are several things going on in my life right now that are out of my control and I'm not entirely clear in some of my choices as a result.
So now that I've put those thoughts into writing and really thought last night about a few recent mistakes I've made some decisions:
1. My body shape is not as bad as I think in my head and I wear a few silhouettes well and always feel good in those shapes. I will stick with those primarily, especially when I'm feeling stressed or vulnerable, but will continue to experiment here and there with items that I think will work for my style because every once in a while, I get it right (slouchy trousers for example). I need to trust my gut because it's usually correct - I knew the floral skinnies were pushing my comfort zone to the max and that shorter, thicker legs would not be flattered by a bunch of ill placed humungous flowers. As fun as they are, I should have listened to the little voice in my head.
2. Shortly after midnight last night after thinking about your question and realizing a few things, I went through my closet and dresser. Hubby was up working on his photography so I had the room to myself. I pulled out several items that I liked when I purchased but haven't worn a SINGLE TIME. They were all items that I questioned in the change room but convinced myself they were ok and brought them home. Obviously I'm not going to wear them if I haven't yet. In the bag for charity they went (none of them were expensive BTW). I only want in my closet items I wear and enjoy wearing. There is no room for anything else because those are the items that frustrate me and end up making me feel bad. A closet should not be a competition to see who has the most stuff.
3. I haven't been in a thrift shop now for a week. Now for some that wouldn't be a big deal but I'm realizing just how addicted I was to thrifting. Yes, I have found wonderful, fabulous things via thrifting but I've also brought home crap. Until I can thoroughly distinguish between the two, I won't be going back into those stores.
4. I have some sort of unnatural fear of wearing the same items too often. When you work five days a week, 8-10 hours per day with the same people, you don't want them to see you in the same things too often. But I realize I'd rather look good in the same item every week than look poorly put together in something different every day.
5. Fit and figure flattery is of utmost importance to me, more so than it used to be. Yes there are small fit issues that Wonder Woman can tweak but an overall good fit and shape on me has to be there. The exception to this for me is my new slouchy skinnies which are not traditionally flattering (especially from the rear view) but the fun, flare and edge that they bring trump that for me.
6. I will be the boss of my clothes, not the other way around. Period.
Suz - I can't thank you enough for asking me this tough question