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summer dressy options

Sally

Veteran

In my effort to cull my wardrobe, I took Sal's advice and started with warm weather and I have started with one of my hardest situations...dressy. Doing the exercises on Carla's link, I realised I have the best success when I wear minimal unfussy clothes. I am not likely to go to a ball in the next 6 months so it is more likely to be a cocktail party, formal dinner or garden party. Open to comments and suggestions about the outfits and where I could wear them (or if I shouldn't leave the house in that get up!)
I have a few black pants and wanted to see if I could do some dressier looks with them as I bought them to wear as workwear but don't wear them much.
pic 1 - 2 black pants (country road) and a tangerine sleeveless top with black shoes. Found out these pants have some stitching undone on the side but it will be easy to repair. I also have a navy pair, same brand same style.
pic 3 CR black pants and white shirt (zara)
pic 4 CR black pants and white shirt (zara) tucked
pic 5 CR black pants and shorter white shirt (basics)
pic 6 Veronica maine pants rolled up with Zara shirt
pic 7 Zara pants and mustard shirt
pic 8 Zara pants and brown floral shirt (has elastic hem)
pic 9 zara pants and olive top.
Last pics are of two dresses I have which are more dressy. I don't know if the shift dress is my style but I really like the colour. The green dress is one my nieces found when they were thrifting. initially they gave to my sister but she lent it to me once. I told her if you ever throw the dress out, send it to me, so she did.
pic 10 Veronika maine dress and green wedges
pic 11 VM dress and beige wedges
pic 12 Thrifted dress by Alquema (Australian designer) with beige wedges
pic 13 same dress beige wedges.
I am open to getting more dressy shoes to go with the dresses which I might need to do for winter, but you will never find me in stilettos or court shoes. I do also have my midi skirts which I can attempt to dress up.
This exercise is starting to teach me the value of having a few outfits planned for various types of situations even down to popping out for coffee. This is all very exhausting. I need to go and have a cup of tea.

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Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

DonnaF

Veteran

I think because they are all combined with your oxfords, all your black pants outfits make me think of work wear. Maybe if you swapped out the oxfords for strappy sandals or dressy flats?

The cobalt dress looks like your dressiest option. I prefer it and the other dress with your green sandals.

These days, at least for me I feel that nothing is *regularly scheduled* like fundraisers, work events, weddings, graduations, funerals/memorial services, and the like. Some of them may even be on ZOOM so that one only needs to worry about the top, and then turn off the camera if one needs to get up. Angie leads a much dressier life than I do!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I feel like Donna, none of the pants outfits look at all dressy to me. Of them,I way prefer the tangerine sleeveless top and then the olive top. All the white shirts outfits look casual.
You understand that our styles are almost opposite however? I really love the blue dress. Now that’s dressy. The green one is good too. I like both pairs of sandals with them. Green sandals tone with the green dress better though.
Wouldn’t the pants be quite hot with the sleeveless tops though?

Sally

Veteran

Thank you Donna. I added another photo of the black pants with silver sandals and a necklace. Does that make it more dressy? I could also wear the dresses with the silver sandals to make them dressier.
Thank you Jenni. In a way it’s good to get a different perspective as I will always be the least dressed up so I need critical eyes. The pants would be hot on a summer day but I was thinking of a dinner with a cooler evening.
I also tried the olive top with silver sandals and satin pants which are much lighter. I’m just seeing what I can get away with and what is worth keeping.

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Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

I really like you in the more stark and minimal looks, for example the big white shirt worn loose, or the dark (olive?) top with the black pants. They seem to work well with your fab hair and glasses and you look very chic. Those are very work appropriate outfits but not necessarily cocktail party dressy. What sort of “dressy feeling” are you aiming for? In other words, wanting to look sexy for a date, or whip-smart for an important meeting?

Runcarla

Veteran

#3, 4, 5, 9, and 12-13 look like ‘you’ - modern, cool, a little architectural a little androgynous (but your long hair keeps it femme.) I quite like the oxfords and think you could give them a try as your dressy shoe. The vibe of the outfits is casual, but you could elevate with a metallic watch, or bracelet(s) or a couple of dainty layered necklaces or one big chunky piece. Sparkly flat sandals would be pretty too, and very summer cool, as opposed to the more covered up brogues for the pants outfits (but not the dress). A shiny patent or pewter or silver bag. Sort of a transition from work to drinks or dinner afterwards by changing out footwear and accessories.

I like #1-2 (a lot) and #8, but would rank them a little lower than the ones above.

Not a fan of the cobalt sheath and the mustard shirt doesn’t say ‘summer' the way the white shirt or the orange tank do.

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Anonymous

I like the outfit with the grey sandal booties!
With the coral top, I'd prefer non black pants. Do you have any white or brown pants?

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I am pretty much with Carla here - I just love your white shirt and slouchy trouser combinations. You could try with another shoe but it really does depend on the occasion - off hand cocktail party no but dinner perhaps yes?

jussie

Veteran

Maybe some big earrings and a bold lip colour with the white shirt outfit? Or you could add a statement architectural black necklace to it. Lean into the cool architectural vibe……
I think then it’d be good to go for dressy.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Oh I like pic 1 of the 2 new pics out of sight better. That pants outfit with the silver sandals does look dressy to me.

Sally

Veteran

Thank you all. I'm starting to see a bit of clarity. how to look dressy but retain your sense of style/self expression.
@jessikams - I feel more comfortable in the stark outfits. I don't really know what kind of dressy. I'm planning for future events. I'm not going for sexy, more simple and understated but appropriate either for drinks for parents at an upmarket school (and maybe dinner) or graduation. Or maybe meeting my friends at the bar or at a restaurant.
@Runcarla - yes I think we have similar styles but you pull off elegant so much better. I like the descriptions you gave my style and its what I feel comfortable in. Those silver sandals are gorgeous. I'm going to look around for something similar as I think it would elevate a lot of things I have including some of my midis.
@suntiger - actually those booties are quite comfortable so I will pull them out more. I have navy pants (country road) like the ones in the first pictures. I have lacy boho pants which are white.
@jaime I like the white shirt/ olive shirt combos too. It is more likely to be drinks rather than cocktail party.
@jussie - thank you. good point about going for the architectural cool vibe. That is kind of what I was going for. I did have a few statement necklaces which I need to find and a big double layer of pearls.
@ jenni thanks for checking again. I think the shoes (and perhaps jewellery ) can make a difference.

Runcarla

Veteran

@ Sally - I think we both like clean and crisp lines, but whereas I lean a little retro-classic (Kate Hepburn, Grace Kelly), I see your style as much more modern minimalist* with a slight leaning towards avant guard.

*minimalist spare outfits (what Jessikams called ‘stark’) and not necessarily a minimalist closet.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is really interesting and instructive. Like Carla, I love you in the white shirt outfits and the olive top one, but I would not have called these "dressy." Having said that, since you are really just hypothesizing different potential situations, I'd say, those outfits would be completely appropriate for drinks with friends or dinners out. You might want to swap the footwear, as Carla said, and/or add jewellery and / or a bag to convey a more "summery" feel, as Jussie pointed out. You could also -- as Suntiger said -- get a pair of light (white or cream) pants to work with the tangerine top for summer -- that would be brilliant, and white automatically looks dressy. Even if you go for white jeans, they look a bit dressier (certainly dressy enough for going out with friends).

Do you feel comfortable/ happy in the dresses? They don't feel as much like you to me (though the green one has definite possibilities and the cobalt colour looks fab on you and the shape is flattering). If you don't feel great in them/ want to wear them, the next step is figuring out a formula or way of dressing for those few "dressier than dinner with friends" occasions you might have. It really does help to have an outfit ready to go.

Sally

Veteran

Thanks Carla - I do like minimalist and I do like a bit of architecture in a skirt or dress front.
@Suz thank you I can see how white pants would work. The white pants i have are very boho and would work better with a flowing top so the news ones would need to be structured. I'm going to avoid thrift shops and look for a pair of smart sandals like Carla suggested but in the meantime I have the silver sandals.
Your question about the dresses (or the cobalt on in particular) makes me question whether it is more important to dress for your shape (figure flattery) or to express authenticity. Is authenticity or self expression really that important in deciding what to wear, especially in one off occasions. The cobalt dress is similar to dresses people I know have suggested I wear to weddings etc and I have worn them in the past but I wouldn't really say it is me. It seems to convey trying to have a va-va-voom quality which I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. I might keep it in the meantime. If I wore them with heeled oxfords like below and a fake feather boa for example, I think I would feel more myself in it, but that probably wont be that summery.

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CarolS

Veteran

Sally, I think many aspects of our style and attitude are aligned!

I like the pants and white shirts with the shiny black oxfords, and I think with a bit of added bling I would feel very comfortable calling that a dressy outfit for drinks or dinner. For me, the oxfords would probably be more likely to be spring/fall or winter wear than summer, but I like 'em.

I know what you mean about wearing things to event based on what other people say you "should".

For me, any kind of traditionally acceptable 'evening shoe' is as elusive as the fabled unicorn. Add to that a busty and boxy figure with limited to no waist/hip definition and the formula of a pretty dress and sparkly sandals is off the table. I mean no disrespect to those who can wear the look -- I am green with envy over the ability to do so and think it looks fab on the people for whom it is authentic.

But if that's the only way to be dressy, I am doomed to stay home forever or to only attend barbecues and ball games, LOL.

You've talked a lot lately about striving for authenticity in your looks, so my suggestion is to hear all the advice, but to evaluate it, take what works for YOU, and leave what doesn't.

I've done the same sheath dress thing and felt like an exposed idiot. I remember a shimmery violet sheath dress I wore to a family wedding several years ago. Nice enough dress. I wore it with a nice sparkly heel and it fit the mold. But I was much happier at my nephew's recent wedding in a floaty, wide-legged silk evening pant with a pair of black patent loafers on my feel. I was 100% appropriate for the event (one of the groom's other aunts also wore a black evening pant outfit and the other wore a black dress.)

Anyway, just illustrations of my experience taking both paths.

For summer, I could see the black pants, white shirt, silver sandals and whatever pile of bling works for you being a great dressy 'go-to'.

I just want to add that I'm really enjoying watching your style evolve!

Sal

Veteran

I think you have some good foundations here. I know the types of occasions you mean - they will be dressier in Auckland then here- but there will be a wide range. I think smart black pants with a shirt, blouse, dressy shoes would work for almost all of them.

I like the pants outfits best - the mustard reads as casual though. I like the green dress with the green sandals as a warm weather option. I like the sandal booties too.

The blue sheath is hard- I have a similar dress that I am keeping. I wore mind in 2010 for my 40th and it reminds me of that era. But I might wear it again..,, but I haven’t since about 2013-2014

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think Carol is on the right track. Keep the sheath for now as a placeholder but in the meantime, consider what you could do to create a "wedding" appropriate outfit that would feel more authentic to you. Figure flattery is not our only fashion priority. If it doesn't feel like "you" then that explains, in part, why you have traditionally avoided "dressy" looks. In part it is lifestyle and work and environmental norm, of course. But I think we tend to avoid the kinds of events/ activities we don't have clothes for. If you find a way to dress authentically for a given situation, you will be much more likely to participate in that kind of situation/ activity or at minimum, you won't panic when an invitation arrives.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Great looks, Sally!

I like you in black pants! You're a pants-gal. Signature. Milk it

Working from your first set of pics:

#1 to #9 are regular everyday outfits to my eye. They look SMASHING on you, just as they are. Wear them and enjoy.

Try #10 with your new black Birkies. (casual)

Try #12 with the same black oxfords. (casual)

Further down the thread, you show an outfit with black pants, silky top, and dressier shoes and necklace - THAT is getting dressier and works very well! Try that with your white shirt and add more bling. Dressy!

Sally

Veteran

Thank you all. I feel quite empowered now. i have my summer wardrobe under control with a couple of ideas to supplement what I have. Maybe some extra bling and a strappy sandal. I have culled my summer wardrobe with a few things in the holding space. I have put the winter to one side at the top of the wardrobe and will deal with that next year. As well as the outfits here, I have put some skirt outfits and dresses aside as everyday summer outfits when I pop out to the shops, coffee etc so Im not running around in my running shorts except in the park.
@CarolS - Oh yes the experience you describe is exactly how I feel and as Suz has pointed out probably why I avoid events like that to some degree. Its great you have found a nice style now and have the confidence to enjoy events without having to wear garments that you feel uncomfortable in. Comfortable shoes are very important too.
@Sal - yes some sections of Auckland are quite dressy and there is quite a contrast. I was surprised how dressed up some of the events are at my son's school, and last year my students performed at a corporate charity gala and the people there were incredibly dressed up so its good to be prepared, and I think the pants with bling will fit the bill. I bought that Sheath dress in 2013-2014 but had put it away because it didn't fit without really wearing it. i"m going to try Angie's idea of wearing it casually.
@Suz I think you are right that we tend to avoid those events where we don't feel comfortable and often that is because we feel out of place and feel like we are not going to fit in and clothes play a big part. It is a balancing act of being yourself but being appropriately dressed.
@Angie- Brilliant ideas thank you! I"m going to try and wear the sheath as an everyday summer dress these holidays. I am thinking I might even pop a t-shirt underneath and wear it to work if it looks ok. I"ll try the green dress with oxfords as well.

Sal

Veteran

You are a woman of action! Great work - sounds like a really good plan!

There are lots of cool shoes with a bit of glamour but still practical and realistic. These are the shoes I wear for dressy occasions but where I don't want a heel.

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L'Abeille

Veteran

I love all the renditions with a white shirt. But to me, the black oxfords keep them from being dressy. I think a metallic loafer or ballet flat could take it the rest of the way.

But if you don't want/have time to buy new shoes, try replacing the laces on those shiny oxfords with tulle, coloured ribbon, or metallic laces.

rachylou

Veteran

These are all fab! I totally love the last two outfits (the shoes change the vibe of the dress quite a bit - what an excellent dress!).