When used in the context of a fashion forum, and when used to articulate a style descriptor, I put the emphasis on 'the look' rather than the lifestyle (or social signifier as Rhubarbgirl so aptly suggests). Using a term like LWL, Geek, Preppy, Punk, Hipster, etc. let's me think 'Aha! I SEE!' - with less words than an item by item breakdown of an outfit.

Since we often outline what we DON'T want to look like as much as what we DO when struggling with composing our 'look' the discriptor that goes in the 'DON'T' column takes on a negative connotation, alas.

i think ladies who lunch may also be a very east coast term…..i see similarly to how Dashielle has described it….i say its an east coast term, because it very much still exists today, and the real housewives series wants you to believe that they represent it, but anyone who's spent time on the Upper East Side of NYC, or Greenwich CT, etc, it really misses the mark. these are smart, well educated women, who have left the workforce to focus on raising children (and yes, moving there husbands career forward), and for many charity. anyway, maybe ladies who lunch is not the right name for this group anymore….it should be school drop off moms.

Not sure why it would be derogatory other than someone isn't looking for that style. I am not really looking to add arty or bohemian to my style descriptors, but I still adore the look on other fab bears.

I pictured LWL as an older, preppier, very wealthy crowd. More like Grades Dames. I have never seen any of the movies referenced, so maybe I was off base. The grandmother form Gilmore girls is exactly what I pictured.

It rang true for me as I see it as a certain look you may or may not want to aspire to.

I've never seen Real Housewives either, but my Impression of them is that they are far . . . Not sure I can express my thoughts without offending. So, perhaps more gouche, and less refined than traditional LWL.

Shannon -- your comments were not offensive in the least.

That said, this has been a fascinating thread. I never realized until now just how much that term is firmly entrenched. In my part of the world that term is most definitely derogatory, primarily because it represents selfishness and shallowness to the ninth degree. And it is not about being a lady or being someone that lunches with friends, it is about an attitude. If you have that attitude, you just might be a lady that lunches..... And perhaps that is what you aspire to be.

Oh, and I'm on the east coast.

While I agree that many may not have an instant visual or cultural "get" re the ladies who lunch term, it's a phrase that does have a lot of meaning.

Good news: being a woman who lunches with friends will never make one a LWL.

Nor will wealth and/or social striving alone, so Real Housewives and yummie mummies in Lululemon don't qualify either.

I'm sure there are approximately 4,509,215 signifiers of being a LWL I'll never know since I'm Not Their Kind, Dear.

However, I feel pretty confident that for this EXTREMELY financially, socially, and culturally privileged group:

• working for an income shows you either married or divorced badly

• social capital (behind the scenes power) matters greatly, and one should aim to control or heavily influence those who rule key institutions (artistic, religious, and public/governmental)

• worrying about what Average Janes think about your way of doing anything, let alone dressing, is...cough...rare

Another pop culture LWL: Jackie Florrick (Peter's mom) on The Good Wife
Photo 1: Actress Mary Beth Peil at an event
Photo 2-3: "Jackie Florrick"

Cool interview with MBP on Jackie's motivations/mindset

http://www.thedailybeast.com/a.....wson-s-cre...

I wasn't trying to offend anyone. Shannon, I knew exactly what look you were talking about when you said you didn't want "Ladies who lunch". I know you meant no harm.
I was just intrigued by the use of the phrase, the semantics. I just thought it was very interesting.
Vildy's Vanity Fair article described exactly what I was thinking of.
Many of the women on here are a bit older. I was just thinking if the phrase was told to someone under thirty would they even understand.
We all have our style aversions, our poison eyes. And it can very difficult to describe a visual medium in text, ie all art criticism.

Vix -- so funny. "Divorced badly" => me. "Average Jane" => also me.

I rather think Vanity Fair, like T&C, is suffering from A) age gap ignorance and B) the formal end of segregation. I mean, the authors of The Preppy Handbook realised there was a problem and did a revision. The last issue of T&C was a desperate - yes desperate - effort to name some Swans, a la CZ.

Anyways, CZ and Jackie O and so forth are not quite ladies who lunch. They were too high profile and traveled too much, esp. to foreign countries. Plus Jackie was Catholic. The ladies who lunch were the lower profile, opera committee grunts. In smaller cities, they had a relative in the ladies who did the church charity coat collection once a year wearing gloves.

There's a bit of difference between 'social clubs' and 'country clubs.' Ladies who lunch is really a social club thing. You see, the club has to be ladies only and close at 4 p.m. Too many night events at these country clubs... Not to mention MEN.

Anyways, the clubs are outmoded, but I'd argue the ladies are still there. WASPs didn't go anywhere. They just became Hipster 2.0's.

P.s. I will argue against Real Housewives being the new ladies who lunch because their husbands don't really the run the world. Melinda Gates would be more like it, except she's a 'horrid liberal'

*laughing*. Thanks Rachylou, for the definitive explanation of "ladies who lunch", especially their transition into Hipsters 2.0. Same social clubbiness, but the uniform has to keep up with the times. Who, after all, wears gloves, hats, and mink coats these days?

Can I suggest that one hallmark of the new version is being photographed barefoot in a short, designer dress in her gorgeous home with a large dog and two perfectly tousled kids who ride their bikes on the immaculate floors--just keeping it real, of course.

Omg, squawks!! The barefoot-large dog-tousled hair kids-house mag photo! Yes yes! I know it!

Which reminds me... The 'girls who lunch' now a days... instead of buying a club house they open shops that sell $500 yarn dolls made by bush people and staffed by weepy, emotionally fragile women... kills those charity/career requirements with one stone while leaving time for lunch...