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Style Journey Reflections (Long)

Windchime

Veteran

Inspired by the new year, and by all the posts about style goals, I wanted to write one of my own.

I found YLF about 2 and 1/2 years ago while searching for ideas to improve my professional style. I love my work and hope to continue working for a good long time and was concerned that I was looking...well, frumpy.

You must understand that I was letting myself spend hardly anything on my clothes; for some reason I'd decided it wasn't important. I would get the occasional new piece from Target or JC Penny, and everything else was thrifted.

So the first huge breakthrough for me after YLF was giving myself the budget and the permission to shop for new, on trend clothes. And it was SO fun! I got lots of compliments as people noticed my new, improved wardrobe.

For the first 18 months, I felt I had 10 ways to spend every month's clothing budget and had to carefully prioritize my shopping. After buying lots of basics--on trend, LONG ENOUGH jeans (yes, I felt like a million bucks not wearing jeans that were too short); turtleneck sweaters for layering, a warm puffer coat, on-trend knitwear, ankle boots, slip-on sneakers--I finally started sensing I had a solid, serviceable wardrobe in place.

I've spent the past year's budget adding more discretionary items--a couple pairs of work trousers just because I liked them; a Vince cape, the NYDJ ponte pants and the Cole Haan sneakers from NAS; more knitwear, a blouse, grey jeans, some jewelry...

So now my wardrobe is by far the best one I've ever had. It's functioning well for my life in my midwest city. I still get compliments.

What I'm noticing now is a bit of resistance in myself about continuing to "improve" my wardrobe and style. I also know if I add much more, things won't get worn as much as I'd like them to. Or, to adhere to my One In One Out policy, I'd have to start getting rid of things I still like!

On the other hand, I really admire styles I see on other Fabbers and know that I'm not "there" yet. As I write these words, I fully realize that "there" is different for each of us. I'm enjoying my midlife style journey and want to continue it but need to shift direction, or priorities. I am no longer desperate for jeans that are long enough.

So three ideas occur to me for goals.

1. Add a bit of edge. Last week I posted about putting together an outfit for a jazz concert in the winter. That really took time and thought, and in the end the outfit was deemed more "elegant" than "hip."

2. Post more WIW's. I keep saying that and I keep feeling shy about actually doing it.

3. Improve my winter outdoor clothing. I need better under layers and need to replace my snow boots after this season.

Thank you for reading this tome! If you have general or specific ideas for the next destination on my journey, I'd like to read them.

General

19 replies

Latest reply was from

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Great analysis windchime. You've really made huge strides. I wish I could make the time to write down my thoughts on all this, I think it really helps.

I think you've get a lot out of posting more WIW's, I know I did, so I hope you'll stick to that goal for 2016!

Helena

Veteran

What a great summary of your journey ... I am so with you; just coming out of the "buy it at Target" phase and letting go of some guilt about wanting some nice things. I hope you will start posting more WIWs!

I think it sounds like you are going in a good direction - there is the maintenance aspect of clothing, like keeping winter boots looking good, etc., that will always give you something to update. I also think it's ok to love where you are at - roll the budget and then maybe splurge on something that's a real splurge? Or invest some of it in your hair, nails, etc. ... something self-care that makes you feel great!

Good luck as you progress this year

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Fabulous, Windchime! And congratulations on having built the foundation for your new wardrobe. As Angie says, that takes patience and it definitely pays off!

Posting WIWs is a great way to help you evaluate your style. I haven't been posting many myself lately (and need to get back to it) but I did find that by posting quite regularly for a couple of years, I then had a lot of photos to go back to at the end of the year to evaluate. It helped me get a clearer sense of my own "feeling" for my outfits -- both visually and in remembering how I felt to actually wear them -- and this in turn has helped me evolve my style. I am not sure if I am being terribly clear, but what I mean is, at the end of some period (6 months or a year) I would pick out my favourite outfits visually but in looking over all the photos there would be some from that group that I would remember had felt particularly great, some that didn't feel so great (even if they looked fab) and some that felt great (even if they didn't meet the "looks" test to me). So this gave me more info for consideration.

Winter clothing is costly but SO important if you live in a climate where it is needed. I invested heavily there in my first year on YLF and it has paid off. I am still wearing the coats I bought then and still enjoy them. Winter boots are a necessity and an upgrade there will make you feel great, similar to the long-enough jeans.

deb

Veteran

I wonder if what your feeling is a process we all feel at one time or another. Sort of like the 'hump' to get over. It is like, OK, I am here now but where do I go next. For me it took time to figure out if I wanted my look to stay as it was or for it to evolve and I evolve in my life. Are you in the same place, head wise, that you were two years ago? Has your lifestyle changed? What are you doing with your time off that you did not do two years ago? Questions, like these. It is so hard to stand outside yourself and answer these questions logically and not emotionally. At least it is for me.

Bonnie

Veteran

I loved reading about your style journey. I'm still in the first year and have a hard time imagining a time when I'm not seduced by new trends and styles. I think your three goals will help focus your way forward.

Astrid

Veteran

Maybe you are already "there". And it's just not the same look other people are going for. You wrote you realized this yourself writing it down, but what exactly is the difference you think you see? Do you feel less dressy or put together or xyz? Do you really want that to change?
I realised a while ago that looking decent (as in wearing clothes that fit and suit) and wearing clothes I like (comfortable to wear, fabrics giving tactile pleasure, practical, things with emotional connections, things that I feel self-confident in) is much more important to me than trends. Of course I buy from the selection that is out there, but I won't buy anything for the sake of buying to be fashionable. I think it's easy to get into the habit of buying and finding new things to improve on, even if it might not be necessary and we actually already are in a happy place. I wonder if there are small things you could do besides clothes shopping to make yourself feel more "there". Maybe finding some signature jewelry. Fun nail polish in everyday life? A fab new haircut?
And I really think taking pictures can help with figuring things out, even if you don't post them for us. You can take them and just look at them on your own.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

Great analysis and plan moving forward. I do think after getting past the basics, it's time to pause and really look at what's next. Great ideas from other Fabbers above.

rachylou

Veteran

I like what you say. Resonates with me. One does get to a certain point of satisfaction, at which point begins a certain concern about complacency. I also like your idea of adding edge... But you might want to take that with a grain of salt. It's coming from me after all

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*APPLAUSE*

You're well on your way, Windchime. With patience, you will reach your style goals and reap FURTHER reward.

Aida

Veteran

Great reflections Windchime, and it sounds like you've been good and disciplined while building your wardrobe up. Extra high fives from me on that as well as for allowing yourself the budget, it can be very difficult. I vote enjoy where you're at for now, and do try to post outfits here (or at least take the photos). After a bit it'll become clear whether you need to take small steps to refine where you're at if you're happy with it, or if larger steps are needed to get you where you want to be. But you've put in the work so definitely enjoy it!

(PS: nothing wrong with "elegant" over "hip" Keep mulling on that idea and those feelings though, to see if that's actually something you really do desire for your style.)

Windchime

Veteran

Thank you everyone, for your warm, encouraging responses! You've all given me a lot to think about.

TORONTOGIRL--You're right about maintenance. The more I like something, the less I mind the time and effort needed to take care of it. I also like the idea of saving for some type of splurge--maybe a watch or a handbag.

DEB--Great questions you ask to inspire further reflection.

BONNIE G-- I still spend a lot of time looking at fashion on blogs, websites, and in stores, but that strong desire to acquire has calmed down a lot. I've noticed the same thing with our home and my garden--at first there was so much that needed improving that it was hard to know where to start. But eventually, as more and more projects are completed, my level of satisfaction outweighs my discontent.

ASTRID--I really appreciate your comments and perspective. When I read your description of looking decent and wearing what one likes versus chasing trends, a lightbulb went off. I'm sure that I will pay attention to trends for the rest of my life--it's interesting to me--but the other two criteria will be more important.

missvee

Veteran

I think this is a thoughtful analysis. Maybe the next step is to look at a goal like # 1 and determine exactly how you might implement it. For example, what does " adding edge " mean to you - is it footwear, hairstyle, accessories, studs, black, etc.?

Windchime

Veteran

RACHYLOU--Isn't that the truth?! We no sooner reach satisfaction, than we begin struggling with complacency. True in many areas of life!

ANGIE--Without this blog, I would not have come as far. I have learned so much here from you and other Fabbers.

AIDA--Yes, allowing myself the budget was an enormous step and, together with finding YLF, really what launched this fun and fascinating journey. Re elegant: I've been called that often enough that I know it's one of my style descriptors. But I do want to explore incorporating a bit of edge...

unfrumped

Veteran

Great thoughts and goals! And it is so okay to be okay. I like your analogy with other areas and projects- how can we be doing/ improving in all areas all the time? We can't!
Getting one area to a good enough place can free up time and energy to explore something else important and then that can feed back yo new discoveries.
I'm trying to pare down so that more of my best style will come through. So adding isn't as important for awhile and I may focus on some other things.
Also I feel I've sort of embraced a couple of trends That I sm not done with yet, even if they are " out"! But, I will still want to think about a couple of " new" takes on my current outfits this year.

Carla

Veteran

Doh! Windchime, thankyou so much for this post! You have just described what I've been feeling, but have been unable to articulate! Having reached a plateau I'm a little afraid to attempt the next level. I know it doesn't mean abandoning my better quality classic items - so what am I afraid off?

Kaelyn

Veteran

I loved reading this! It sounds to me that you have a very good idea of where you want to head and you've come about it very organically. That's wonderful. I like the idea of a one in one out policy, but I haven't adopted one myself yet because I feel that I'm not ready to cap the amount of clothing I have just yet. I don't think it's good to get rid of things we love if we're still wearing them enough for them to be worthy of the space in our closets. Some people are happy to let go of well loved pieces regularly, but it isn't for everyone. I'm looking forward to seeing your WIWs and get a little more edge in.

Gigi

Veteran

Great post! I feel like we are in a similar spot. I started my YLF journey at roughly the same time as you, and with a similar background (not spending squat on clothes). And I too now get complimented on my wardrobe and feel that it is functioning well.

The idea of continuing to improve the wardrobe without adding too much is something else I identify with. I like to really wear the heck out of my clothes, but adding more items does make that more difficult. I have decided that I will add more items to my closet only if (1) they are something basic that will help me make a lot of outfits, like a long-sleeved shirt; (2) they are HEWIs; or (3) they are something that take my style in a new direction, enabling me to try a new trend or a new persona. So I'm trying not to add more of the same stuff but am looking to add things that are quite different. It may still mean that I wear the other stuff less, but I get a lot of emotional mileage out of trying new personas, so I consider it worth it.

Style Fan

Veteran

I loved reading your style journey and the responses from the other fabbers. I found taking pictures of my outfits (actually DH took the pics) even if I didn't post them was very helpful. It was much easier to evaluate my looks. I didn't post all of my pics but it was very useful.

Anonymous

What a great post, Windchime. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. You sound focused and disciplined. Something to be greatly admired in our consumer economy.

I personally am only learning the "not adding more" to avoid not being able to wear what you already have. A part of me is thinking that if I stop adding more pieces, I will need to wear what is in my closet and thus I'll slowly start to get over my "fear of wearing my good clothes."

I would love to see some WIWs, but I too am shy so I completely understand your reluctance.

Best wishes going forward,
Sterling