I love that you did not get upset or take offence at his opinions. And I just love your polished elegance.

Hubs and I have had many a debate about age appropriate clothing in the last year or two, he wishfully thinking that I should still be sporting the type of clothing and shoes that I wore when we met. I was only 19! I'm 35 now, a mom with young kids and 15 kgs (alas) heavier that I was when we met. He thinks that my resistance to those clothes are related to my weight issues and I have tried to explain to him that even if I was as skinny now as I was back then, I still don't think the clothes I wore then would be suitable for a 35 year old mom.

I wondered whether some of the issues he had with my clothing choices were more about his issues with his age - he turned 40 last year and had a bit of a hard time with the idea.

Ladies what a truly fabulous read, I am laughing so much at some of what you have shared that that I'm actually in tears :). I have to rush to get ready for church, it's the commissioning of our interns and one of them is my hubby's second cousin and family are attending so can't be late...hmmm what will I wear, maybe a pattern mix and my animal print bootiies ha ha ha! I will be back soon as I am keen to respond individually as you have made some incredibly insightful comments. You are all amazing xxx

Good Morning Deborah.
Men can be touchy about their age! I remember my D.H. telling me about running-into past acquaintances and noting that they now looked 'Middle-aged' !
As I said on your other thread, mine doesn't particularly like some of my bolder and patterned outfits, but generally other women notice and like!
I more often equate 'matronly' outfits with: no attention to detail.
Tight-fitting or acentuation of wobbly bits.
Way off-trend styles of clothing and hair. 'Sensible' shoes etc.
I have NEVER seen you in anything from this list- the opposite in fact. (I think you are safe from being considered looking 'middle-aged' in your dressing choices )

This was a very enlightening read and I appreciate you sharing it. To start, you can send my that #5 dress, i am sure your mum doesn't need it. My sister likes it too so between the two of us one will surely be able to wear it Like Suz's DH mine inst too keen on the skinny jeans but i am amazed your DH actually shared some of his opinions more extensively. Whenever I might ask the response is almost always that my outfit is "fine" or another rather vague descriptor. I hope it wont stress you terribly and the church commissioning was good. You have a lovely elegant style and i am sure the animal booties were perfect

You know I really love your style. So it was interesting to see it in the context of such a SO's perspective as well as a bunch of your outfits together, so I did indeed see that not all of the looks were equally brilliant to me (though your worst ensemble would still rate about an average for me). Anyway, I loved 3 and 7 a lot, interestingly. I could get into detail about each one, which I don't have time for...but I don't know, I also have a hubs with a very different take on what looks good (why do women wear animal prints, etc etc).

I guess the interesting discussion point would be, how far are you (anyone here) willing to go to wear something you love that your husband dislikes?

Have not read the other comments. Wanted to type out my thoughts straight away.

I see his point of view, and kind of get it. It seems he doesn't like tunic-y drapey things or the very classic. My husband and I have had a very similar convo, which made me chuckle. For my husband, he prefers very straight-forward and traditionally feminine shapes for me. He doesn't much like anything odd or "hard to understand" from a fashion perspective...ie. pretty traditional colors, use of accessories, etc.

I think it's just a different fashion lens. I think what men associate with certain looks and the women who wear them create a different lens. Women see another woman and relate differently to whether they identify with the style or not, while men are looking for something and judging good/bad with different criteria. I do think some of this has to do with media/TV that is aimed at men and featuring women, which gets my goat, but such is life. Needless to say I do feel a wee bit sorry for hubby having married such an independent, strong-willed feminist. (-: And, it IS quite interesting to get the man's take on our clothes even if most of the time women's fashion barely registers. (-:

Sorry it took so long to come back. And thanks for keeping me smiling all day with your thoughts and experiences.

carolbee, I am seeing a pattern among men generally! And yes a very clear pattern in terms of the Aussie male dress code.

Jen, I have discovered today following a further conversation with DH that he doesn't want me dress like my mother! Clearly his perception is different to mine and I think I dress completely different to my mum but hey! #7 are dark wash blue straight leg jeans from Crossroads, Peter Morissey Polka Dot pussy bow blouse and a sleeveless trench that I picked up at a store locally:)

Thanks Caro! I must state that what I have issue with is the stereotype I have in my mind of the badly put together middle aged woman who just doesn't understand what works for her... I realise we all have our own associations and pictures.

Scarlet interesting thought and he does seem to prefer my casual looks to my office looks.

Ingunn, yes my middle age stereotype definitely encompasses 'frumpy'.

Vildy, ha ha, my DH is a comedian also!

Krish, what a funny youtube clip. I laughed out loud and really enjoyed it (and the co host is an Aussie).

Mona, good to hear, it' really nice when our partners are interested enough and equipped to offer constructive comments.

Anne, I mentioned above, but apparently DH's associations relate to my Mum. He loves her and has a great relationship with her, but apparently he doesn't like it if I wear something he thinks my mum might wear!! But I agree with you about associations, i have so many of them myself and they really do impact my style choices.

Jules, yes I think he definitely very narrow vision in terms of 'fashion'. And let's face it, he is not the one constantly perusing fashion magazines, blogs, etc so, with respect, he really hasn't a clue:)

Angie, sorry about your tea! To be honest, Angie, I don't think DH's opinions will impact my style choices much and I certainly won't be giving up colour, however some of the points he made have resonated with me - for example the dress he things I should give to my mum, is one I have questioning for ages - and I do feel that in stepping out of my comfort zone and experimenting more, some looks (not so much the individual clothing items) are not quite me. I am definitely gravitating back toward black, BUT, I recognise the need to soften it by way of my accessories. I will certainly be keeping his thoughts in the back of my mind, but I have never really dressed for anyone but myself:)

Alicat, high vamp shoes used to get the raised eyebrow, but clearly his eye has adjusted.

Siniestra, thanks for the lovely comment and you go and get the cheeta print skirt girl.

Suz, if you do decide to have this conversation with your DH, you MUST report back. Interesting about your hubby and skinny jeans. Mine loved it when I started wearing jeans but then he is super casual and Im not, perhaps he thought his style preferences were rubbing off on me:)

Vix, I agree it's not a bad thing to understand what he appreciates and certainly I see no harm in considering this, particularly if we are attending one of his work functions or something particularly important to him.

Amiable, I think my husband feels he may have dodged a bullet and seems very happy that I am online communicating with my YLF friends

Brenda, that's lovely to hear. There are very few people (aside from the lovely YFL contingent) whose opinions I care about...DH is one of them so i will always listen and consider anything he has to say, especially seeings it is so infrequent:)

Shannon, I think DH was very aware he was entering "the danger zone"! And I agree I think to a large degree we are on the same wavelength. You are not prying at all, no he doesn't shop with me. He is a nightmare to shop with! So I would have to say he has almost no influence on my choices. Since joining YLF though I have tried to involve him more and ask his opinion, or I may show him something I am thinking about, largely because fashion is such a major hobby/interest and I do spend considerable time on it. I love your pattern mix story, and glad you wore it anyway. My DH will look me up and down and say.."really?" lol

Tracey, sound advice

Hil, we know that as women we have our challenges as we face getting older, but I do think we forget that men can find it confronting as well. You make a very good point. Perhaps DH still sees me as the 20 something I was when we first met "sigh"

Lyn, agreed. And your take on matronly is similar to mine. Thanks for the affirmation.

Sarah A, you made me feel much better about #5 but if I decide to purge, its yours:)
If this makes you feel better DH's eyes did start to glaze over not long into the convo.

Mochi, DH would have to express a really serious disliking to something for me not to wear it. I'm pretty independent and single minded He makes so much fun of my faux fur vest, but I wear it with pride lol

Jenava, interesting thoughts. I agree that he media/TV definitely 'informs' men of what is acceptable, etc and I would agree that fashion does barely register normally, however he is a creative type and often comments on what other women are wearing, usually when he doesn't like it.

Ladies,thank you for a fab conversation. I have thoroughly enjoyed it and you have given me much food for thought. Should we have a part two to our conversation, expect an update.

xxx Deborah

Hi Deb, I'm so late for this thread, and others said already all:-). Our SOs have their opinions for sure, and it worth considering it for a long and friendly cooperation:-)). Just wanted to add wow, I love your new, sleeker bob in nr 1!

Well, look how hard it is for US to describe and identify different styles - it's even harder for (most) men to articulate, because they (usually) don't even have our basic vocabulary. My husband has a great sense of style, even though he doesn't care much about fashion.

He has some odd descriptions, though. He described my taupe leather jacket as "the color of a kite." (HUH?) And he declared that a raincoat I recently tried on had "a nun's collar." (Say what now?) Sometimes I'll ask his opinion just to hear his descriptions.

Lyn, thank you!

And Tarzy, I just spit out my tea! How funny is your hubby... I love it! It's definitely worth asking himf or the entertainment value.