Struggling with my tummy

jenny1963

Hi,
I'm struggling with how my stomach looks in clothes, but cannot tell if I'm overly focused on it (body dysmorphia?) or if it's ok. I feel very self- conscious about it, even though I know it's not bad. I am struggling with how to dress around it, so that I feel more comfortable and less self-conscious. Before I got pregnant 12 years ago, I'd always had a flat tummy, but now that I think about it, I was conscious of it even before pregnancy even though it was flat. So, maybe I've answered my question.

9 years ago

Dressing

13 replies

Latest reply was from Karin L H

catgirl

Veteran

I'm in for this chat but running to work so bookmarking for later!

9 years ago

Anonymous

I know how you feel. I don't know what else to say except that it's difficult to know how to dress. Every time I buy something, I ask myself if it emphasizes or de-emphasizes my tummy. Illusion dressing is an art form, in my opinion. A full-length mirror helps immensely.

9 years ago

Anonymous

As per the long forum discussions yesterday (about not carrying on about our body woes here) - although I can really relate to this, I'm just going to say this: there are ways to dress around it which are actually pretty easy. And - it's always more prevalent to our own eye than anyone else's. I'm following my own advice today: Jockey Slim shorts under a knit pencil skirt worn with a flowy layered top . Sit and walk with your best posture, use your ab muscles to control your core, and get on with the day

9 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Lisa. I am wearing the exact same outfit!

9 years ago

Anonymous

Of course you are I'll try to snap a pic later if I remember. I haven't worn a skirt in ages - lol.

9 years ago

Chris987

Veteran

GREAT advice LisaP!!!

Are the Jockey shorts you refer to listed in finds? I know there has been a lot of discussion about this type of underwear recently wondering if you know whether there is a find. .

9 years ago

Beth Ann

Veteran

I love jockey slip shorts in summer! There are several different lengths and types, and one of them is meant for particularly hot days.

We can all learn to focus on one spot on our bodies, and forget that others see us in movement, and in 3D. No one is zooming in on your tummy! They're enjoying your smile or listening to your input in a meeting, or watching the big game while sitting beside you on the couch.........

I love the tunic over pencil skirt formula for smoothing the midsection. A longer, flowy top over skinnies or slim cropped pants works too. Finding well fitting trousers with a rise that flatters your particular proportions can be helpful as well.

Most important: wear colors and garments that you love and that make you feel good -- it builds confidence, and confidence is contagious.

9 years ago

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Hi there, I can totally relate. I'm an apple who after three kids is even more of an apple especially after I gained about 10-15 lb after weaning my youngest. I've had so many people ask me if I'm pregnant. So frigging annoying! You can check out my posts if you want to see how I'm coping with dressing my shape. Here's a couple of "food baby" posts:
http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....-food-baby
http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....-food-baby
I think the trick is more structured sheath or fit and flare dresses instead of body con, avoid empire waists, and wear shirts that skim but aren't too voluminous. Best wishes from a fellow apple!

9 years ago

Anonymous

The biggest thing that helps me is anything that floats away from my tummy. Empire waists can work if there's just enough fabric to conceal the tummy but not enough to make you look pregnant. They're hard to find, though. I wear structured sheaths and fit-and-flare dresses without too much problem, but I'm still sensitive about my tummy. I guess I'll always feel that way. I stay away from body con at all costs. I think the wrap dresses work fairly well. I posted one of my new ones yesterday, so you can see how it looks on me. I ordered one that I think will be even better. It's the same brand, and it's a wrap dress, but the skirt is more flared. I won't know until it gets here and I try it on, but my hope is that the skirt will float away from my tummy area.

9 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

I can relate. If I have a "trouble spot", my belly is it. It looks good when I'm standing to attention, but when I bend over it folds up into several little bulges, and the lowermost one "sits" on my waistband, lol. It has always done this, even before kids, and although I eventually figured out that it's just genetics, it bothered me a lot when I was young.

Listen, here's what I think. You probably have a bit of body dysmorphia. (I can relate to that too). The solution to that is to teach yourself not to focus on it. It can be done.

9 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Yes to all the advice here. I'm another who dresses to avoid attention to a waistless belly if you want to check out my looks. And if you don't see the issue in my pics, that just means my outfits are working!

9 years ago

Anonymous

Another thing: For me at least, shapewear doesn't help me because if it's strong enough to flatten my abs, it pushes my skin out and creates muffin top. Not a good look! So I wear "shapewear" sized up a bit so I can have a bit of shaping without being squeezed. Not to mention that wearing tight shapewear is uncomfortable!

9 years ago

Karin L H

Veteran

I feel you! My tummy has always been my issue with my body, but it's got SO much better in the past years! I find two things that have helped me most - looking for styles and colours that I know I like (getting much help from here!) and changing my thoughts.

Learning more and more about what styles and colours that I like and that I think work for me means that I focus less on those things that doesn't work as well - meaning that I don't have to be negative and jealous of others who can wear those things, instead I focus on "my" things when I go shopping!

But a big part (maybe the biggest) is your thoughts. I've actively worked with that, noticing what I'm saying to myself and changing that. NOT forbidding any thoughts - thoughts and feelings will be there whether you like it or not, but when I feel negative I try to reason with myself. "Ok, this is how I feel now, and I don't have to love every part of myself. But this is how I do look, and my body functions, which is most important. My tummy is there and won't go away, that's that." Something like that! I've also worked on actively thinking positive things about my body, specifically my tummy, when looking in the mirror. Even if I don't feel positive I can think "Hi there cozy tummy, you're MY tummy!"

Haha, I might sound crazy now, and I think everyone has to find what works for them, but I know that these two things have helped me feel much better about my body, and not letting the negative thoughts take over when they come.

Hugs!

9 years ago

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