Struggling with essentials. - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Struggling with essentials.

Anonymous

I know - there are so many essentials posts on the forum this week that it's hard to focus on them all, so I'm writing this perhaps for my own purposes. Every year when the essentials discussion appears on the blog and forum, I'm reminded how weak my wardrobe is in this category. I experience a constant struggle and quest to find the perfect pieces: black trouser, silk tank or cami, perfect blazer, perfect jeans, perfect t, etc.....and because I'm never successful, I lose determination and end up with inexpensive, poorly fitting placeholders. The cycle repeats itself over and over again. Hence my drawers full of GAP jeans, and random synthetic poorly fitting shells and tanks. UGH. I am not drawn to that kind of clothing at all, unless I'm in a store that carries higher-end lines....and that's where I can get excited about a plain black tank or great looking jeans. But - it's tough to sock money into great essentials and have anything left for the fun stuff. That balance is my struggle.

April so kindly and thoughtfully recommended an Eileen Fisher cami,, which I promptly ordered a version of . But at close to $200 , it's a budget eater. I'm trying to train my brain to spend more money on the essentials and less on the fun stuff....and only wish there was more to choose from at retail here. I'm losing my way, friends , and wish I could focus on getting my closet sorted out....or having I been saying that for 4 years here now?

Ha.

Thoughts, jokes, etc, always welcome .

Dressing

44 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

nemosmom

Veteran

I struggle to get excited about essential pieces, too (hence the ugly couch blazer). It helped me to look at secondhand or thrift shops, or dig through the clearance racks at Rack, and -- I know it isn't popular -- but fast fashion (H&M, Zara, JCrew factory, etc), have allowed me to get those 'basic' pieces at lower prices (I'm not willing to spend $80+ on a basic, plain Vince t-shirt, when Target will do fine)

Christina F.

Veteran

I am another person who has a serious eye for the statement pieces when shopping. My wardrobe was unbalanced for a long time as a result, but I think in my case what saves me is that I always wanted to balance statement pieces with simpler pieces. I could never wear all statement pieces - though it's great when people like jessikams do it. (Love her outfits.) It's just not me. I just never succeeded at having the right balance of statements vs essentials in my wardrobe until last yera or so.

The only thing I can offer in the way of practical advice is that I keep my essentials needs on a list, then work through it. I do a lot more planning than I used to, instead of wandering into stores and randomly buying items. I don't know how this would work for you - I enjoy the process of shopping and this satisfies my desire to scavenger hunt. I believe that's not you at all... but I do understand where you're coming from.

Greenjeans

Veteran

Do you know what your essentials are, lisa p? (This is something I struggle with, too.)

Anonymous

nemo - I too end up buying essentials at fast fashion places, and regret it , most of the time. I'd rather have a Vince t than an H&M tee, but it's the cost I get hung up on .(so such thing as an $80 Vince tee in Canadian $) . You've just reminded me to double down on my vow to buy best and less.

Christina, you're right. I don't love shopping and wandering. But planning has to happen in order to achieve success - you are dead right there.

Greenjeans - I think so, yes. Because I'm identifying those holes in my wardrobe every day .

Katerina

Veteran

Yes, I feel the same about my essentials. These would be black silk blouses, black trousers, white trousers, navy silk blouses etc. While I understand that they are essential for my style and wardrobe, it is not fun to spend as much money on them as on accessories (read scarves :-)), fun blazers, bags etc.
What I try to do is to buy multiples of the essential pieces as soon as I find an item which is "perfect" and for reduced price, in an outlet or simply seems to be a good value for money. This winter, I bought two identical pairs of white summer trousers, very reduced price and simple, straight cut. To buy such things off season works quite well for me as my essentials are not in on-trend colours or styles.

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, the struggle is real. Your essentials are my basics for this - I KNOW it's important, but the thought of paying an arm and a leg for, say, a bra, pains me to my very core (not to mention, the budget doesn't grow because good bras are pricey).

You have the added blessing/curse of an extremely discerning eye ... whereas at least I don't know any better than to love my Gap jeans lol!

You've got great advice here; I'm echoing Katerina that if you can get a really tight handle on what your key essentials are, then you can really go for it when the right piece comes up at the right price.

Runcarla

Veteran

This is where you come to get help, Lisap! I'm 6 years a fabber, and though Angie wrote it on the chalkboard, I still needed her to get out her red pen and correct my assignment!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like you are having trouble identifying your essentials - but rather you can't find the gold standard versions of them? So, your essentials are:

Black trouser
Black tank or cami
Black topper/blazer
Black footwear
Black outerwear

I'm wondering about olive items, white (t-shirts), and necklaces - but haven't seen enough of your daily WIW's (especially since the new job) to know enough to comment about them being an essential vs another category.

karen13

Veteran

Be strong Lisa! I share your pain on this. Maybe buy one or two quality pieces in the essential category to remind yourself it is worth it. I am trying hard to limit my my purchase this year to “better” - whether that means quality or style or happiness factor. For me it may look like a monthly item limit - still working through my process on this.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Carla's list is similar to the one I came up with (based on your WIWs), though I added a few pieces, and as she says, it sounds like you do know what your essentials are.

I'm not sure if you noticed my comment about cost on my own thread. But -- quickly -- I disagree with the idea that essentials must be expensive or top of the line. Yes, if you have the means, it is nice to buy super high quality versions of those items. But in fact, as magazines have been showing us in those "High/Low" spreads for years, it is perfectly possible to wear mostly lower cost "core" items and save your money for the statements, if that is what floats your boat.

Very few of my own essentials are expensive items. My Reiss blazer, yes. That was the single most expensive item of clothing I have ever bought. And the Eileen Fisher sandals were pricey for me, too. Everything else, even the high end stuff (e.g. the Aquatalia boots and the Citizens jeans) was bought on significant sale and/or was inexpensive to begin with, e.g. LL Bean mariner. Of course even on sale, CoH jeans and Aquatalias are not cheap! Esp. in CAD, as you point out. But, they are within my means when I consider long term happiness factor and cost per wear.

I get that good fit might be harder to get on a low end cami or low end black trousers than it is on a knit top. Fit is tough for most of us, period. And it can be a massive pain going on a search for the "perfect" anything. Especially when you are in a panic because you have to put an outfit together and lack the requisite elements.

Anyway...it sounds to me like what you could benefit from doing is narrowing down the brands that tend to fit you well, and shopping for these items when you are not in a rush/ hurry -- maybe ordering online and comparing. Just stop looking at any place where you rarely get a good fit or experience tells you the quality isn't up to your standard.

If you have drawerfuls of less than stellar essentials, choose the one or two pieces that are best-for-now and get rid of the rest. Slowly but surely upgrade with better options as you can.

I know, I know. Sounds good in theory. But. It does take time. It took me quite a few years on here to identify my essentials and quite a few more to amass them.

bj1111

Veteran

carla hit it on the head. its the perceived upfront cost that is preventing you from having the essentials wardrobe that you need. maybe commit the budget to buy one item from the list every 1-2 months if feasible. at the end of the year, you'll have at least one of each right thing.

Christina F.

Veteran

Oh, let me add to my advice that it helps me to focus on one or two essentials at a time. In my essentials post, I mention a navy sweater. (I also need black jeans, but I know where to get them and are 99% certain they will work out.) Finding my ideal navy sweater has been tougher.

Anonymous

Suz, and Carl - yes, I do know what my essentials are. I just don't have them, and can't find them. And Suz, I agree that essentials don't have to be spendy, but I have found that it's a rare piece from , say, H&M or Gap that actually looks good for longer than a season. I'd love to have these essentials for years, rather than having to constantly replace them. Your advice to purge the crap and build slowly is sensible, and I do know I have a tendency to "panic", and buy the next best solution to my perceived needs. So, where ARE these high-quality essentials these days ?? Club Monaco used to be my go-to, but I no longer fit their pieces like I once did. Equipment ? Too straight and boyish for my body. And so many silk camis and tanks are cut so low in front!!

Carla- funny, for as important as olive was in my wardrobe as recently as last year, I never wear it anymore. I really tired of it - although my better olive pieces (bag, coat) will always be part of my wardrobe. White - not so much, and my jewellery definitely needs some essentials added to the collection (basic, quality hoops and a neck chain).

Helena - I so agree re: bras. Buying a good one eats up a ton of my budget.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

My Gap jeans and shorts definitely last more than one season. Ditto for the LL Bean sweaters (obviously not relevant to you, but...). I wear BR and J. Crew sweaters for three years or more...so...I don't know... maybe my standards are lower?

Silky camis or shells can admittedly be difficult to find. It's not an essential for me so I don't worry about it as much but even I have noticed this. I'm wondering about Everlane? Or here's a knit silk one on sale at Travelsmith of all places! . Might be good as a backup if nothing else. Oh, and they have a microfibre one too -- could be great in summer.

I'm sure Jenn or LaPed might have ideas because they have worked to source natural fabric items.

Bloomingdale's has lots of options but so pricey.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

LOTS of great advice here. I'm impressed with this forum daily - and it's 12 years later. That's WOW. Good job, ladies. I'm nodding along with all of you.

Lisa P, you are not alone in your love for statement items and your disinterest in essentials. Most of the forum is like that! You have to plan, focus, push through, and reap the reward.

Some thoughts:

My own essentials are very high-low. Everything from designer brands and custom-made white pearl pieces, to items I bought at BR, Topshop and the Gap on sale. High five to Suz.

Consider alterations on some of the items like black pants to create a perfect fit.

Settle on a concept. Focus, budget for it, and plan it. Stick to it. Do you want to emulate a style similar to Gryffin's and Greyscale's that's a very black-focused wardrobe? Do you want to wear simpler outfit like Janet and let the patterns, trims, shoes and accessories shine? Do you want to keep things neutral, and add colour in Summer? Once you've got that sorted in your head - put together the essentials list (we can help you if you get stuck). Focus on purchasing the priority essentials first.

Decide what is CORE to your style and keep that SIGNATURE. Allow that personal stamp to weave through your style daily until you're bored of it.

Edit your wardrobe. Keep the best essentials and pass on the rest.

Give it time, be patient, and relax into it. I know it's hard! The tortoise won the race.

I know you don't prefer to shop online. It is though, one of the best ways to shop. You will eventually get exactly what you want. I know we are very lucky in the US in that respect, so it's up to the Canadian Fabbers to offer their retail wisdom.

Anonymous

Yes! I absolutely agree that higher prices don't always guarantee a great piece. However........my current collection of lower end stuff (particularly tops and a few jackets) really doesn't work hard for me. Suz, my GAP jeans and shorts last forever too, maybe that was a bad example. I'm thinking more of tops, tanks, sweaters, trousers etc. And yeah, I am really, really particular and picky. I ended up buying two black sleeveless tops at BR Factory Outlet (or whatever it's called), and only the low price I paid is stopping me from taking one of them back. I just can't be bothered, for the $14.99 or whatever it was. Grrr. Anyways - I'm not arguing the hi-low concept at all , in fact, that's the crux of my closet. Smythe blazers alongside Dynamite bombers. Ha!

Angie - settling on a concept has eluded me too. I don't know what I want until I see it , half the time, and my look is constantly changing. You're right, I need to settle down and commit. Emulating someone ? I'd have to think about that . You're a natural-born teacher, aren't you? I feel suitably admonished and straightened out now

Oh , and as for on-line shopping, I'm doing far more of it than I ever did, and the reason I dislike it is because of it's inherent inefficiency.

Anonymous

Suz - thank you for taking the time to add in a few good links. Travelsmith? What the heck is that? But you're right - some good things here. Everlane is a great idea. What do you wear under blazers?

kkards

Veteran

lisa p....we should shop together...i can't seem to stop buying essentials and have no problem spending $ on them, because i justify, they are the backbone of my wardrobe....on the other hand, i never feel i get my moneys worth out of statement pieces, and so tend to not buy them or buy them based on sale price.....

elpgal

Veteran

Controversial viewpoint but for me it is easier to invest money and time into essentials when I stay the same size.

(I am currently wearing essentials from Old Navy and Poshmark for this reason.)

Alicewonderland

Veteran

Lisa,
I know you don’t like online but if you look on eBay there are a lot of Eileen fisher pieces (plus other designers) for very affordable prices. Maybe just have a little look. I have one EF silk shell I got from eBay for $26. It’s gorgeous and long lasting in a way that I think others just can’t be. My essential silk cami I found on eBay is a Diane von Furstenburg navy silk cami, perfect for me, for $20. I expect it to last me a while, and now when I go into regular retail stores I just cannot get myself to spend $20 on a cheap polyester cami (nor do I need to because I already have a good one).I still get things like tights and jeans from stores though. My favorite for those basics is uniqlo. llbean has also been very satisfying for essentials like striped tops and tees. Anyway, I completely understand how you feel I felt that way about essentials for a long time too. Also you don’t have get them all in one year. Good essentials will last long and don’t need constant replacing.

Anonymous

Would it help to think of it in terms of cost per wear? A $200 workhorse isn't as painful as a $200 benchwarmer.
Do you feel that better quality will make you choose them more often, or will they still seem too plain for your style? Also, will you be afraid of ruining something you spent a lot for, so it could get less use? Its a balancing act.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What I wear under blazers: in winter, knit tops. Examples below. Sometimes button front shirts or blouses, but less frequently. For night, maybe a pretty top like the floral jacquard. But that's unusual.

In warmer temps, t-shirts, including graphic tees, and sleeveless tops, some knit, most woven. The Jackie shell is a good example of a knit top I use. Examples below. Not all are "essentials."

I don't mind sleeves inside jackets in winter, which I know bothers a lot of people. I guess it's the shape of my arms or something -- it's not an issue for me.

Tilly Roll Neck Jumper

View Info

Top Pick

9

Banana Republic

Silk Cashmere Crew-Neck Sweater

View Info

Top Pick

13

Banana Republic

Machine Washable Merino Scallop Crew

View Info

Top Pick

6

BP Crushed Velour Tee

View Info

Top Pick

10

French Sailor's Shirt, Three-Quarter-Sleeve Boatneck

View Info

Top Pick

15

View Info

Top Pick

12

Vince Boatneck Tee

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

10

Banana Republic

Soft-Wash Gingham Flannel Shirt

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

11

Equipment 'Adriana' Silk Shirt

View Info

Top Pick

14

Vince Boatneck Tee

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

20

View Info

Collection floral jacquard top

View Info

Top Pick

8

Striped silk top

View Info

Top Pick

7

Sleeveless tank in Liberty symphony floral

View Info

Top Pick

10

Cotton Jackie shell

View Info

Top Pick

7

Linen boatneck T-shirt in metallic

View Info

Top Pick

6

Accordion Pleat T-shirt Details

View Info

Top Pick

11

Halogen Scrunch Funnel Neck Shell (Regular & Petite)

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

6

Sal

Veteran

Not all my essentials are high quality nor perfect (in some cases especially when wearing jackets or knits on top I am fine with that).

To keep myself focused on getting essentials I do write a seasonal shopping list including them so I don't get distracted by the fun statement pieces. I don't always get them all for budgetary reasons or lack of options.

Lynn

Veteran

I can commiserate with you Lisa P on struggling to find good quality essentials (now that I have identified them). I am very picky about fit and not easy to fit so it is a constant struggle. I alway feel like I end up compromising and then feel dissatisfied with my clothing.

BTW- So glad you are posting again. I always enjoy your threads and comments.

Ket

Veteran

I don't know that I have any tips for you. I feel your pain though! Currently, I can only afford the low end basics. Target changed their store brand tanks (they used to be a medium weight draped rayon with lovely adjustable lingerie straps) to cheap, thin material. So still trying to find affordable but decent quality camisoles. I'm told the Uniqlo are good ones. So I want to try those next!

I have tended to buy according to my mood or feelings. But I'm playing with style moniker again, and I do think it is helping. Every garment I look at or pick up recently I ask: does this item say sensual, romantic, or passionate? If it doesn't, it goes back to whence it came from. I also ask myself if a man would wear the item. (no joke! A great question if you tend toward romantic, ladylike, or womanly styles.) These questions are hugely helpful, but it's getting used to pausing and asking after a lifetime of buying clothes because it looks nice on the hanger or is the current trend. I mention this, because I find it applies a little to some essential items.

And...second a tailor!!!! My tailor is no longer nearby. She's almost a 2 hour drive one-way. But I'm considering taking a stack of clothes to her this spring to be fitted, and then have her mail them to me. She makes the cheapest clothes look incredibly good on me, I kid you not. It's worth taking a $10 shirt to her, paying $5-15 for the tailoring. It looks like a much more expensive shirt than, simply because it fits. I wouldn't spend that on a shirt that would shrink when it's washed, obviously. But a clearance rack item from Old Navy or Gap, or even TJ Maxx? absolutely!

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I wonder if this comes down to where you sit on the maximizer/satisficer scale.

It's taken me a long time to get where I want to be with my essentials. Like Angie, mine are a high-low blend. My perfect black linen tee is from Target, but my silk blouse is from Eileen Fisher. My black silk tanks came from Garnet Hill and, sadly, they don't sell the same style anymore, so that's going to be a whole new search when these wear out. My boyfriend jeans are Old Navy, but my skinny jeans are Good American.

It helps to not try to do it all at once. Search for "your" black tank and, when you find it, wear the heck out of it while you search for "your" trouser, etc. It's super-frustrating, I know, and sometimes you just need to step back. I should have done that last year when I was searching for the "perfect" leather jacket. The one I ended up with was not, in fact, perfect, and I never wear it. Ugh.

Column

Veteran

Agreeing with Suz, Angie (duh) and so many others. Can you find the piece(s) you want at any price and stalk them until they go on sale at a price you are comfortable paying? If you have tried them on and know what size fits in advance, you can even buy the no-return clearance. I have done that. BTW—Hobbs has the most spectacur sales!

Gretchen

Veteran

I agree it can be challenging to define essentials for a specific price point and quality. And it's super frustrating to purchase a higher-priced essential and have it not work out (I'm still mad about an Eileen Fisher white tank).

I'm more willing to pay for alterations for higher priced essentials - tailoring the navy pants, yes; the white tank, no.

I also think it's worth taking time to identify what works in the essentials you have as you start to think about replacing or upgrading. For example, Boden is my go to for Bretons, why? The color scheme can be duplicated by many, but the cut, neckline and fabric weight can't. So I have to look beyond the "ooh pretty stripey shirt" response to see if the other elements work to make it turn into an essential.

elpgal

Veteran

keturah, The Old Navy camis are actually surprisingly good, not too low cut in the front, stretchy but not clingy and come in petite sizes.

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

LaPed

Veteran

I agree with you and Jenn that having the "right" version of an essential is important. If the fit or fabric is off in any way, you won't reach for it and it won't serve its purpose. It may end up being a "completer" that you only wear when you have to, in order to make certain outfits work. I run into this over and over again with various wardrobe components, especially layering tops, jeans and trousers. Turtlenecks were a big one. I had one charcoal grey "completer" turtleneck for several years that was very meh but too useful to part with. Last fall I was finally able to say goodbye to it when I found my "essential" turtlenecks in black and navy. That was a happy moment. It took over a year of searching to find the perfect ribbed turtlenecks, but the time and $$ was worth it.

I agree with you that the quality at brands like Gap, BR, J Crew is largely disappointing, and I don't have the time or patience to look for the gems, especially when the fit models those companies use aren't great for me to begin with. My preferred alternative brands are Uniqlo (good substitute for Gap/ON) and Boden (good substitute for JCrew/BR). I think Uniqlo offers free shipping in Canada? I know Boden is a bit more of a pain to order from, but they do at least post garment measurements which tend to be quite accurate. I don't think Boden's aesthetic really aligns with mine (they come off as so bright and peppy!), but season after season I find a piece or two that fit seamlessly into my overall wardrobe scheme and bring a lot of joy. Love their Moon tweed pieces, and have had luck with casual dresses as well. Pretty much everything I've bought from Boden has been black, grey, ink or olive, despite the fact that they push the spring-y brights year round.

Agree that you would do well to take the plunge on a few Everlane pieces if something has caught your eye. I've been really happy with their denim, french terry, shirting, and even a pair of sandals. I didn't love their cashmere enough to keep (I think the whole $100 cashmere thing is just ridiculous) and am not a huge fan of their t-shirts (too thin!). There's also Grana, which is based out of Hong Kong and ships just about everywhere. They are a bit like Everlane in their "transparency" claims and emphasis on stripped-down designs and accessible pricepoints, but the aesthetic is slightly different.

12