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Starting my wardrobe from scratch what style of summer dress would suit me?

N

I heard that wrap dresses are universally flattering. I have young children so maybe white dresses are probably not the best idea, although it gets really really hot here and the mosquito's are attracted to dark colours (which I normally wear) so I normally get very hot and bitten when going out. I need it to be relatively long (Just above knees is good for me, but i'm tall so would come down further on average high women). I don't like showing too much leg and definitely no cleavage. Its better if it has arms, just culturally most people would never go out with bare arms or shoulders here in Japan. I want to look nice and I know I already stand out like a sore thumb but I don't want to be stared at for being too revealing.

I was very drawn to the style of these two dresses but I think that the red one the shoulder details might look bad on me.

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Dressing

32 replies

Latest reply was from Zaeobi

slim cat

Veteran

I think the red dress is fab and could work well for you. The puffy shoulders could be balanced by drape of the dress ( especially in movement ) and the asymmetrical placement of the buttons would help. Camisole with some lace under the dress, some necklace/chain, your long hair - all those will work accessorizing and balancing the look.
I'm IT mostly and midi skirts and dresses with some "swish" work on my shape.

rachylou

Veteran

I’m also thinking the red dress could work because it plays to the shoulders, but the depth of that V-neck would give me pause... it’s not what I think of when I think Japanese demureness... Are you in Tokyo? Are you working in Japan? My uncle was there for 30 years, was a professor.

Minaminu

Veteran

Definately the red dress! I think it would be a fun and elegant choice and the shoulders would work well for you.

I think,a high low dress would also be a great option. I bought this dress last summer and used it plenty of times! Wrap on the top with an A line skirt.

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N

I'm not working here rachylou, no. My husband is Japanese and we have two young kids so i'm a SAHM. We live further up north but did live in Tokyo for about 3 years. Been living in sweats for the last 5 years because the kids ruin and mess everything up but the youngest is starting preschool in April and I'm ready to start dressing nicer again. All my old clothes got stretched out by pregnancy too plus body shape changes.

Now that you mention it, the neckline does dip very low...i'd have to wear a CAMI underneath (well I always wear a CAMI under EVERYTHING. Feel bare without one now.

I'm going to check the return policy on it and then think about getting it i'm surprised how many people like it. I would have thought it was a big NO from everyone.

N

Here it looks like its less low, perhaps there is a way to give a bit more coverage.

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

But why would you think that it would be a No? It’s a gorgeous colour and you are tall so you can carry it off. I also prefer the red-it’s more striking. But red is my second favourite colour after cobalt so that will be a factor for me.

rachylou

Veteran

Almost looks like a different dress to me(!)

Minaminu

Veteran

N, it always possible to alter the neckline if you wish to keep it more modest.

I think a shirt dress could be a good option as well. I have seen a few in linen or chambray, lovely materials for a humid weather!

Brooklyn

Veteran

Hi N.
Sorry, but I don’t think wrap dresses are universally flattering. I am flat chested and they look pretty bad on me. I usually find a high neckline more flattering. Something more like this Boden dress. This may not be long enough for you, but just to give you the general idea.
You could also fill in the neckline gap on the wrap dress with a cami and a short necklace.

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N

The red one comes in a different colour which I think would suit me better. It is white/cream I suppose but got red on there so not completely noticeable when the kids inevitably stain it.

I'm pretty sure i'm a soft summer or soft Autumn. I'm not sure between the two as I think my skin might be neutral, although the foundation that matched me recently was named warm porcelain so I think it could lean to the warm side. My lips though are pretty pink. I burn easily and silver looks slightly better on my skin but i think I can wear both. I definitely have golden coloured hair. Anyway whichever I am, they are both muted, so muted colours suit me best not brights.
I'm thinking to style it like this maybe. What do you think?

L'Abeille

Veteran

What Brooklyn said. I was at university when the original Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress came out inthe 70s. It looked great on all my friends but it just fell open and hung funny on me.

I second the vote for a shirt dress. Or try a sack dress or something else straight/waistless in cut. With your height and your shoulders, I suspect it would be very flattering (make everything below the shoulders look slim, if that's a goal). But you have to try it on and look in the mirror to find out.

What is really important in a mom of littles, though, is POCKETS. Do not overlook this! As well, I'd recommend natural fibres (for hot sticky weather, especially if you have sleeves) and easy care (wash) capabilities. If you're worried about spots and stains, a print is best for camouflaging them: a ditzy floral, or for a Flamboyant Natural, a large scale irregular motif.

Liz

Veteran

I don't think I'd buy this as a durable summer dress for running around after the kids,but if you're simply looking for a pretty summer dress after years of wearing sweats, try it!

Do you have any way of finding out how the sizing runs in that brand? The way the dress is fitting on the model makes the cut looks fairly close,with not a lot of give, and cut for a narrow frame. But who knows if that's merely the shot on the model or if that's how the dress is actually cut.

If they're not a Japanese company and ordering/returning across international lines is more hassle, you might want to see if you can get garment measurements before you buy. If they are a store that is easy to buy/return from, then sure...try it!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Maybe a t-shirt dress for less dressed up days, too? I don't know what brands to recommend for Japan, but I've definitely gotten a lot of wear out of casual dresses for the summer. Mostly knit dresses, either t-shirt style or with a surplice bodice, although it gets so hot and humid here most of mine are sleeveless, with a light cardigan for times that I'm in heavy a/c. Woven shirtdresses could be cooler although most fabrics will require ironing so include that in your care calculations.

Looks like you have an amazing figure, probably an hourglass or inverted triangle, and you could pull off most silhouettes. I will say that an actual wrap dress, where it opens completely and you tie it like a bathrobe, is subject to wardrobe malfunctions and is a bit fussy because of that. I tend to opt for dresses that might have a wrap or surplice detail but just pull on or have another closure.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

Both dresses are lovely. Just from your description of features you’d like or not like in a dress, it doesn’t seem to me that you’d be happy with the neckline on either of those you’ve shown. You don’t say how tall you are, but I’m average, 5’7”, and always, always, these deep v necklines with front closure or wrap are too low or loose.

Maybe consider some other cuts? Or at least try them. Since you are overseas, your selections might be completely different, but here are a couple of different directions to consider.
https://bananarepublic.gap.com.....&kwid

https://www.macys.com/shop/pro.....ategoryID=

Bijou

Veteran

N, you are so lucky to be living in Japan, the clothing there is amazing, although if you are taller than the average Japanese woman (which I am) then finding large enough sizing can be tough. I bought this summer dress from Crestbridge 4 years ago and it has been very hard wearing and beautifully made.
Uniqlo has some great dresses and if you like French style, the collaborations with Inez de la Fressange may be good to check out. Inez does beautiful casual jackets.

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Synne

Veteran

A quick tip from a fellow tall person, why not check out two pieces - skirts and tops that match. The same fabric and color, it gives the impression of being a dress. I love dresses on others, but often the waist line on ready-to-wear dresses hits at the wrong place on my long frame.

unfrumped

Veteran

A lot of wrap dresses are polyester, so that can be bad for summer if you run warm or plan outdoors, humid weather. Not all of course.
I am not a dress person, but you would be able to order from Boden, they do have a gazillion styles, cheerful prints ( to camouflage spills), many cotto/ blends, and come in Tall size, which I think you would need, and many have pockets.
Also consider cute summer skirts with pockets and add a breezy top.

Anonymous

I might not choose a wrap dress as I find them to be fussy, needing constant pulling and readjusting to avoid revealing too much above or below the secured waistline.

Anonymous

I always put a couple tiny stitches to hold wraps closed, if that worries you! I like the lighter dress and the red one.

JAileen

Veteran

I don’t like low cut anything. And if I had small children, I would really stay away from them, due to all the leaning over.

ETA: maybe I’m mistaken about your having small children.

nuancedream

Veteran

Echoing unfrumped's comment about Boden dresses and the offerings for Tall sizes. I had have excellent luck with Boden items. Also, take a look at Marks & Spencer for dresses. I am a huge fan of M & S for dresses, skirts and tops.

Marks and Spencer

PER UNA Pure Cotton Printed Midaxi Shirt Dress

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Top Pick

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

The cream dress and how you have suggested styling it looks stunning. I can totally understand your desire to dress up after 5 years of little ones- just remember the adage “Where are you going in this outfit?” as to whether you will get many occasions to dress up that much. Picnic? Outings with friends? Shopping? How are the Covid restrictions in Japan, I have lost track?

N

You are all so right! I really don't have anywhere to go right now of course but i'm sort of planning for the future too. I want to keep my items for a long time. I'm really lucky in that my husband has allocated me a generous amount per month for as long as I'd like to buy some clothing and build up my wardrobe. I suppose I got carried away thinking about nice clothes. We did travel (pre-covid) and hopefully will continue to travel after covid, but who knows when that will be. The restrictions here in Japan are very loose and during summer most people are maskless because of heat and humidity. In A/C rooms they'll put one on. The virus spread much less last summer too. We are still being cautious and like everyone else i'm not really going anywhere unnecessary.

The skirt and top idea is good too. I'm 5'10"/178cm so getting clothes here isn't that feasible. I'm also a vegan so no animal fibres in clothes/leather and I also prefer sustainable brands. I'll look into Boden because maybe they've improved in that area though. I did have two other dresses saved on Pinterest but they are white/cream. Perhaps the cream one would be okay. It is linen so will need a lot of ironing
JAileen, yes you are correct my children are young, 3 and 5 years old.
The cream/red dress is polyester actually so that is a very good point about it not doing too well in summer. It probably would be too sticky. I do avoid going out as much as I can during summer because it is just TOO hot. Sun burns me to a crisp as well. Would be indoors mostly but yes its also too hot indoors as running an aircon is $$$ so most places only put it to 28 degrees C (i'm not sure what that is in F).

I'm glad to have found this forum to run my ideas by before buying. Its going to really help! Thank you everyone so far, you are really great!

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

You are so welcome N! Angie is a wonderful kind leader of this forum and sets the tone from the top. There are other mothers of young children on here and many of us who are older have been there. Many also have an interest in sustainability and in wearing items plenty of times and in keeping them a long time, size changes allowing. Some have issues with fluctuating weight. Some are very keen on thrifting. So we are a mixed bunch but happy to share what we have learned.

N

I did have a quick look at Boden (I hadn't considered it before but I do really like how it caters to tall!) Could be a game changer for me. Found this dress but i'm unsure if it is a bit too busy with all the stripes. I think I could pair it with a muted red or burgundy shoes/cardigan for a pop of colour.

Chiara

I live in a very similar climate. Hot, often very humid summers where you need to cover up if you burn easily.
The dresses I’ve worn most over last summer are like the styles pictured. the pink is a very fine cotton T-shirt material, and the tier dress in a fine linen. You just need to hang it without spinning, and it doesn’t need ironing. The tier look was very “this season”- but I decided I liked it enough to keep wearing even when it’s no longer a trend.
Anything synthetic or too fitted is just not going to work for me in summer, thats for spring/autumn only in my climate!
I like to try to chose dresses that look different, as the variety means I don’t feel “everything in my wardrobe looks the same” and get bored.
I’m about 5’8.

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Liz

Veteran

That Boden dress is lovely, but I'd echo Jenni's question: Where are you going in it? Does your life have the kind of events, outings, or activities where this kind of dress fits in? In my very casual life, this dress would hang in the closet waiting for a time when it could be worn.

Before you start buying, I'd suggest you do an activity audit, so you're buying for your ACTUAL life, and not a fantasy life. My fantasy summer life would have me wafting around the countryside or charming villages, riding a vintage bicycle, sitting outside at cafes, etc. My real life has me driving around in a car in suffocating heat, sitting at my desk in an ultra casual office (where people wear shorts and flipflops), or trudging across a blazing-hot asphalt parking lot on my way to a big-box store to buy groceries.

To do the audit, write down the different kinds of activities you do, and what kinds of clothes you need for each one. You may find that 75% of your life needs durable, washable clothes and shoes you can run in, 15% needs a pulled-together casual look for running errands, and 10% needs a slightly nicer look for going out to dinner or attending an event. Once you know that, you can know where to put your shopping and buying energy.

N

Yes I suppose I want my wardrobe to look elegant rather than too casual overall but then again I really need the casual more often than not. I think I want to go for effortless elegance. A balance of put together but also comfortable. I might be better right now spending my money on accessories until I finally decide what I need/want. Again I don't really have any jewellery (haven't bought any for years and those I had were just fashion items that have long since broken, especially with meddling little fingers ), I own only one bag which is very casual and all my shoes are casual function oriented. I don't own a belt either...

I've realised i've actually got very little in the way of wardrobe...mostly because kids grow so so much, i'm always buying for them...my eldest is only 5 and getting too big for western size 7-8...he is co stantly needing new uniform for school too (his preschool has a uniform), fortunately some can be passed down to his little brother.

In Japan, people dress more formally than casually so being too casual usually has me sticking out. I don't mind if I have a coordinated look that happens to be casual but very often I can look rather sloppy in my current linen wardrobe (I have two oversize linen tunics that I wear with leggings but I don't think they work as well as I imagined). Leggings here aren't really too much of a thing either...I don't think i'd for for jersey dresses or skirts unless it was a heavy weight jersey. That said people here don't seem to suffer from the heat as much as I do...they all wear a lot of clothes and still don't sweat as much as me...I'm from Northern England so not used to high temps at all.

What I'd really love to wear is cropped jeans and a T-shirt or blouse. Perhaps in summer, shorts would be a better idea or perhaps yes pairing a t-shirt with a skirt instead of wearing a dress. I could probably save the dress shopping for when we all can finally travel again. I'll take another look at my options! Thank you.

Anonymous

N, I don’t know if you ever check out Reddit but there is a commenter in the capsule wardrobe subreddit whose posts might be helpful for you. I believe that she is in Japan and vegan as well (I am too, but I do wear secondhand animal fibers). Here is her profile, and you should be able to see her capsule wardrobes for each season. She hasn’t done summer yet, but the rest are very well done: https://www.reddit.com/u/hi3ll.....ame=iossmf

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