Special Occasion Dresses: K/T/Wear

It must be wedding season, because it is my turn to solicit
advice for special occasion wear. I pulled out the three possibilities I own and didn’t love my options.

Option 1. I’m not sure what to call this color. Teal? I’ve had this dress for years and it is starting to show wear from dry-cleaning and use. The fabric itself is pristine, but the seems are starting to look worn. Also, my
husband hates this dress. If I wear this dress it will be its last hurrah.

Option 2. Again, a dress I’ve had for a long time. I bought it to wear as a bridesmaid, and although it is not a bridesmaid’s dress (I think it is Tadashi Shoji), it might as well be the way it has hanged untouched in my closet. I liked it when I bought it, but after it was cleaned the fit just seemed off. It pulls in funny places and I would absolutely need to doo something with the sleeves because they slip off.

Option 3. This was a bargain Tahari dress from TJ Maxx a few years ago. This is definitely the best of the three in terms of fit, but I wish it wasn’t one-sleeved. This is a Catholic wedding, and although I’m pretty sure the bride or
her family would tell me not to worry about the bare shoulder, I’d really like
to show the appropriate level of respect at the ceremony. I could always wear a wrap, but I find them fussy and just not me.

I think I should probably purger the first two dresses and either get over the shoulder concern with the Tahari or buy something new. Actually, I would love to buy a dress in a wine or dessert tone to go with the reception setting (winery in New Mexico), but I’m going to need to buy shoes and a clutch as well, so I’m trying to be realistic with the budget.

What do you think?

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11 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree with you -- of the three, I find the last one the most appealing. I don't think it's inappropriate at all for a wedding, but you need to be comfortable.

Personally, I would donate a dress that all the strikes against it that the first one has, especially if my husband hated it! It's served you well, so now I think it's time to let it go. I also see the issues you mention on the second dress, so I would let that one go too. You just don't sound at all excited to wear those dresses!

Aquamarine

Agree with your thinking about the dresses but have to say that Catholics wear just about anything to church and I wouldn't worry too much about the one shoulder (although a wrap would be fine too).

I see more skin at Mass than you are showing here!

Meredith

Janet, thanks. I agree with letting the first one go. My husband so rarely says anything but nice things about what I wear, do I try to pay attention when he has an opinion.

I guess was a sourpuss in my analysis. I really wanted the black one to work! I like the floral except for the shoulder (and wouldn't care about it in any other circumstance), so maybe that is the way to go.

Haha, Aquamarine. I dated a Catholic guy in high school and attended Mass with his family once. I distinctly remember his mom being horrified by someone wearing a thin strapped dress. I guess I have been worried about my church-wear ever since! And maybe that explains why I go to a church where people wear jeans!

Diana

I like the third one. What about just bringing a little black blazer or cardi for the church? If you feel uncomfortable or if everyone else is covered up you could just pop it on and then ditch it for the reception. I don't think you should cover up the fab shoulder detail if you don't have to!

MsMaven

I like the floral---it was such a relief when something so pretty appeared after the first two. Also, I've seen that one shouldered dresses are very fashionable at the moment. I agree that their day is done for the first two and time to let them go.

The floral dress would be great at the reception. I haven't been to a Catholic or even for a church wedding for a long time, so I can't speak to appropriateness. I think it depends in part on who will be present--would older family members be offended? I know from my current search that it isn't easy to find a dressy topper for a more formal dress that might need some coverage. I need something similar for a late August wedding. I hate pashmina's or shawls for an occasion--too fussy.

Good thought, Diana! I do have a tux-ish cropped jacket!

rachylou

Well now, as a catholic, I *have* to point out that all three show your shoulders to God. Simply *have* to

Keep #4, give away the other two. Put on a jacket to cover your shoulders in church.

You know, quite honestly, I don't know that I've ever seen under anyone's boiled wool coat... so make that a heavy jacket. Hehe.

Thanks Ladies! Feeling much better about the floral. Leaves some $ for a clutch...I did really like that gold Loeffer Randall Angie pick.

http://m.nordstrom.com/s/37296.....GPenFEnjyA

rabbit

Late, and I'm actually okay with the first two dresses, assuming they would fit comfortably (although no point in wearing something you don't like), but the last dress I think is stunning. Test some jackets -- they might 'dim its light' a tiny bit making it more conservative for the church service, but then it could shine fully at the reception.

Also lovely clutch!

Anonymous

I like the third dress best by far. I'm Catholic and I lot depends on the parish. How about just having a scarf to toss around your shoulders with you in case you feel it's needed. Even just wearing one around your neck casually should do the trick if needed.

JayS

The third dress is stunning and you are stunning in it. Wear it every chance you get! I like the second dress, also. But if it is too fussy to wear, pass it on.

jackiec

Love the last one! I'd throw a wrap or something over your shoulders just for the ceremony then rip it off. Better to be safe and conservative than uncomfortable.

Rachylou, you crack me up. Rabbit, Joy, and Jackiec, you all drive the point home that a wrap doesn't have to stay on all night. Who knows, maybe that church will be cold and I will wsnt it anyway. JayS, thanks for the complement

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