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Speaking of ageless style...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Interesting article on the "perennials" (of which I am one!). I thought many of you might enjoy this, since we've been speaking of age and style.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/wom.....g_share_fb

(I will readily admit that I have some issues with this piece, but I like the overall message, which is that style is not age-dependent.)

42 replies

Latest reply was from old chic

April

Veteran

Thanks, Janet. The piece notes that retailers have failed to catch on to the idea that middle-aged women are neither 19 nor 100 -- this may be the understatement of the year, as any middle-aged woman who has shopped for an evening dress can tell you.

Between 20-something body con clubwear and matronly dowdiness is a vast style wasteland.

And a HUGE missed retail opportunity.

Anonymous

Great inspiring article!

Attitude wise, I most definitely don't feel middle aged, even though I'm going to turn 56 at the end of this month.

I completely relate to the diet change. When my teenaged DD decided to go vegan, I did as well. We cook together and enjoy talking about food now that she's in college and majoring in Nutrition. My DH, by the way, is not vegan but he does his best to go along with it.

I don't want to resign myself to dressing like middle aged women are expected to dress, and yes it's an understatement to say that retailers haven't caught on to how women our age want to look and dress.

A lot of people say I look a lot younger than I actually am. I just wish I didn't have to deal with chronic pain, but at least I am able to manage it with medication, diet and exercise.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Yes, April! Last year shopping for a dress for my stepson's wedding was absolutely dismal. And that was in average sizes. It must be even harder in petite and plus sections!

I take it for granted that I can dress as I please as a self-employed person in a creative field, with a casual lifestyle. I imagine it's a bit more challenging for office workers to find clothes that hit the right balance. But I find that the biggest gaps are in things like occasion dresses and swimwear -- it's either hoochie or matronly with not a lot in between.

Anonymous

Amen to the "hoochie or matronly" comment, Janet. I was looking at dresses last night, and that pretty much sums it up. The only dresses I could imagine wearing were some I saw on Totokaelo, which happened to be modeled by women in the perennial category. Coincidence? I think not. I find it harder and harder to envision myself in something modeled by a twenty-year-old 6-ft model. Bring on the perennial models!

Anonymous

Not to mention the fact that those 20-year-old 6' models are thin and don't usually have curves. Curvy petite me has to look elsewhere, and it's nigh impossible to find something for special occasions. I love my Maggy London wrap dresses for most occasions, though.

Anonymous

Well the thing that bothers me about this piece is the self-congratulatory tone. It assumes THIS generation of 40-50 year olds are more engaged, more influential, more this, more that, and certainly a lot cooler than the previous generation was.

And that's just simply not true, at least in my experience. It's just that fashion has changed and the world has changed (the Internet) and these women (myself included) are changing along with it. But you can't say that previous generations didn't change along with the changes in their world. I bet you that the previous generation wore just as fashionable clothing and took part in just as fashionable activities as the 40-50 year olds do today. It's just that those "old fashioned" fashions/activities have been replaced with newer ones, like cold shoulder tops, yoga, etc.

If this generation are "prerennials" does that make the previous generation "annuals" (aka, wither-and-die types)?

The other thing is: I don't like the insinuation that looking as good as your teenage daughter is a good thing. That's the first thing this article talks about: "look how great she looks!".

With all that said, I think you need to be engaged in the world at any age. But this willingness to engage is more a personality trait rather than something that diminishes as you age. People aren't "old and crotchety" they are just "crotchety".

Gaylene

Veteran

Everything Smittie said!

Anonymous

I'm almost 56 years old. My contention, that I have been harping about for a long time, is that there are plenty of options for older women and not nearly enough options for younger women like me who don't want to dress like them. I'm not criticizing what they wear. They can wear whatever they want. I just don't want to dress like that, and I'm not alone in hoping the retailers will step up to the plate and provide us with something younger looking (that doesn't look hoochie). I'm not trying to look like my teenager.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Agreed, Smittie. Hence my comment about having some issues with the piece. But I maintain that celebrating our "older" generations as lively and relevant is a step in the right direction. I would like to see this taken beyond appreciating how women *look* and into appreciating our accomplishments and contributions as well.

Anonymous

I guess I don't see the connection between being "stylish" and being active and engaged. Some of the most vibrant and interesting people I know, male and female, are not particularly stylish because it does't interest them. And some decidedly close-minded "crotchety" folks are beautifully turned out. But since this is a fashion forum, I'll limit my comments to the "style" aspect of the discussion.

I am getting weary of this idea that fashion is inaccessible to women of any age. Why, we have three excellent examples that this is NOT the case right here on the first page of this forum - Joy, mirjana and Angie's 80-year-old client with the new kimono tops. All beautiful vibrant women with terrific style. And since the article in question is at least partly aimed at women in their 40s and 50s, there are so many of you here that I couldn't possible choose who to name out of the terrific examples.

I am in total agreement that the fashion community doesn't cater well to the variety of body types that actually exist in the world. My 27-year-old daughter who is a curvy 32-F size 10 certainly has challenges finding clothing she likes and that fits her well. Being shorter-than-average has always complicated my own shopping. But I find it no bigger an obstacle in my 60th year than it was in my 30th.

There is such a variety of styles and silhouettes available right now. The percentage of available clothing that suits each of us may be smaller than it used to be, but the universe of options is so much larger. And items that used to be made only with older women in mind - like comfortable, walkable shoes - have become so mainstream and popular with all ages that they are much easier to find than ever. Perhaps I'm not particularly discriminating, or maybe this is just one of those moments where what's available lines up particularly well with my preferences, but I don't think so. I've said "no" to bell sleeves, wide leg trousers and cold-shoulder and off-the-shoulder styles. Yet I'm still finding more items I would like to wear than my budget or my closet will allow.

I recently shopped for a special occasion dress as well and, yes, it was a long and trying experience. But I noticed that in every store I visited the size of the "formal dress" department has shrunk substantially. A couple of the sales assistants who had been around for a while commented to me that the market for formal attire is much smaller right now than in the recent past. Even for events like black-tie parties and weddings, many women are choosing separates they can repurpose (like cindysmith's gorgeous outfit for her sister's wedding) or simple dresses than can be styled differently and worn for less formal events as well. That's just where fashion is at this point in time, and those of us who want something that isn't "on trend" will just have to adapt, regardless of our age.

Sorry for the rant. But, to borrow a phrase from smittie, maybe being labeled a "perennial" - or am I already older than that? - just brings out my "crotchety" side.

Anonymous

What is a "perennial" anyway? At age 55 (will be 56 at the end of July), I'm at the tail end of the Baby Boomer group, but I don't identify with my much older sisters who are at the top of the Baby Boomer group. We don't have anything in common. I relate much better to my youngest brother, who is 10 years older than me. We two are the youngest of six.

Lisa

Veteran

The woman still feel ignored comment resonated with me. I started posting outfits on my instagram account and my blog because I don't see enough women posting outfits that I feel are for "my age group" anywhere and I want some inspiration photos! I've started posting my fitness one's too, for the same reason. I know my age is out there but finding the information is sometimes a challenge. Most of the "ootd" photos I see (or fitness) look like younger age groups. And if everyone just looks that young well good for them, but I'm feeling a bit left out, so that's been my way to contribute and hopefully encourage others to do the same.

Laura G

Veteran

I'm another one, like Ryce, who still finds plenty out there to choose from. Jeans and a tee, a dress, a skirt and top...I'm wearing pretty much what I've always worn. I've weeded out the 3" heels and the blatantly sexy stuff, but that's about it. I'm passing up cropped pants, cold shoulders, jeans damaged at the factory, but as I recall, at any given time there's always been stuff being sold that I wanted no part of. This is at least the second time I've been called on to step around the cropped pants display, and the first time I was part of the supposedly favored demographic.

The problems I have finding clothes to wear are the same ones I've always had, driven by the basic body shape I've always had. I am having trouble finding comfort shoe styles I'd actually be willing to wear, but I can't blame the fashion industry for that--the things that make for comfort in a shoe just aren't the things that make for beauty.

So...I dunno. Out of touch? Mutton dressed as lamb? (Rhetorical question, as I haven't posted any photos yet.)

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Well, maybe everyone is taking that piece a little more seriously than I intended, so I'll share this link, which resonates with me much more deeply:

http://www.oiselle.com/blog/th.....ting-older

Runcarla

Veteran

Thanks Janet, for the interesting links. Thought provoking.

Aquamarine

Veteran

Great articles, thanks.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

This comment is not really on point, but I stood in line behind an older lady today at the grocery and she looked so striking and fabulous that I considered every aspect of her appearance in an effort to remember and imitate when I am her age. First of all, she looked to be in her mid-90's, but in good health and sharp of wit. She was very slender and austere in physical appearance. She was wearing black knit pants, white long-sleeve tee with a lacy pattern woven-in, a lightweight glen-plaid swing coat in shades of medium grey, a cloud-grey straw hat with black lining under the brim, and dark grey fashion sneakers. Her hair was white and gathered into a low ponytail with black ribbon. So elegant! So uncompromising and austere! So French! I was so envious of the whole package.

rachylou

Veteran

Am I only one who remembers the serious dread people, esp women, used to feel on their 30th birthday? When people dropped dead at 45 from heart attacks? When retirement was 55?

I think all this about feeling young at 45 is a reflection of memories of that past era. I mean, my uncle was a cardiologist and he'll tell you, cardiologists really didn't do anything for people until the 1980s...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Rachy, yes. Maybe it's partly because my parents were of an older generation than the parents of most of my peers (they were near 40 when they had me). My dad had his first heart attack when I was in the fifth grade, and I remember attending his retirement party as a teenager, so yeah, I definitely get what you're saying.

I don't remember hearing about 50yo women in our town running marathons, or taking solo trips across the country or across the world, or being activists for political causes. I'm sure there were some, but it's more commonplace now, thank god.

And yet, there are still people who are shocked that I travel alone and ask why my husband "lets me."

Gaylene

Veteran

Maybe part of the reason why so many of the mothers of the "perennials" didn't run marathons in their 50s and have a lively interest in fashion in their 60s was because so many of them were worn out from spending their 20s, 30s, and 40s raising families on modest incomes--with perhaps a low-paying job as a salesclerk or waitress on the side? That kind of lifestyle doesn't leave much time or funds for gym and yoga classes, pedicures, and shopping with one's girlfriends. Getting married at 18 to a 19 year-old, with a baby on the way (remember, this was before contraceptives were readily available) definitely dampens opportunities for exploring one's personal style goals.

rachylou

Veteran

Well yes. Just so Gaylene. I remember a lot of women, when I was a little girl, wanting / fighting to get away from that kind of existence. Finally going to college at 40. Admonishing us little ones to not get married before 30. To get a life first. I rather think there are quite a few women out there wanting to say, 'hey look, mom, we did it!'

What peeves me is the neoteny. Getting worn down early is no fun, but neither is being infantile forever. I'm glad I'm not young today. It's like there are no 'old people' who think they're old enough to look out for your young stupid self (!)

Jus' sayin'... I try to do my part as an old person, but I have to admit I have to SAY I'm old - my clothes don't do it for me.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Of course, Gaylene. And lest we forget, there are still plenty of women who fit that description of being "worn down" by a life of hard work and under-appreciation even today, who are single parents or are simply stuck in low-income situations, for whom thinking about style and fulfilling leisure activities is a joke. As the saying goes, these are first world "problems." But growing up, I was exposed to a lot of people on a wide socioeconomic spectrum, and I don't remember the middle-aged women who had the means doing a lot of the things that more women do today. Attitudes of staying home were deeply entrenched. I was simply saying that, in general, there is more freedom now for women to acceptably pursue their interests, whether they be fashion, travel, etc.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

And Rachy, I agree with you! I'm glad I grew up when I did!

Anonymous

When I was growing up, a lot of girls were expected to get married and have children. Those who went to college were there to get an Mrs. degree, lol.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

BC, true. My mom was worried about being an "old maid" because she didn't marry until she was almost 24! I didn't marry until I was almost 38, and mom never pressured me to marry or have children -- she was very supportive of my choices to pursue work and wait for the right relationship before making that commitment. I think that reflects the very generational shift you mention. From the 40s to the 80s, a lot of attitudes changed. Nonetheless, there was resistance. My dad had reservations about my mom returning to work, even part-time, once I was in school. But she persisted and not only volunteered but eventually went back to office work and took night classes, all of which was a very good thing, because dad passed away when he was 65 and mom 63. She was independent enough and had solid enough work skills and history that she could support herself financially (along with dad's pension and SS) without dipping into their savings much.

Anonymous

P.S. I enjoyed the article, and thought it was amusing, and the kind of article obviously written to attract revenue. It seems like every generation wants to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they're the best thing ever invented. That's okay with me if you want to strut your stuff, but don't just focus on superficial qualities.

rachylou

Veteran

Ok wait. I have to tell a story: My mom is pre-baby boom. She complains to this day about her 'stupid college roommate' who hid in their room on Fridays with the lights off when she (the roommate) didn't have a date. My mom cracks me up with her scathing. But gosh, those were the days. She also says girls were told to go home and practice their knitting. What a thing!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I enjoyed the article but I also echo everything Smittie and Ryce said! Fun thread. I love when we get into these discussions. Now I am going to look at your other link.

Gaylene

Veteran

Janet, I think you hit on it in your reference to the huge generational shift in women's lives in the 40s to the 80s. It seems incredible now I was considered an "older mother" by my doctor when I had my son at the ripe old age of 25.

But, getting back to ageless style, I've always felt dressing well had more to do with the woman wearing the clothes than with what is available in the stores. My mother and her best friend--the two women who most influenced me while growing up--both maintained full-time careers in the 50s and 60s in addition to being wives and mothers. Even living in a small town with limited shopping opportunities, they managed to look incredible. My friends and I wore our bell-bottomed jeans, fitted sweaters, and mini-skirts with the insolence of smooth-skinned, shiny-haired youth, but those two put us in our place when they put on their perfectly accessorized, perfectly fitted sheath dresses and tailored suits. That's why the association of age and dowdiness always seems so odd to me. As teenagers, my friends and I WANTED to become adult women so we could look like my mother and her friend.

I think that impression of how adult women can have amazing style has stuck with me through the years. Good health, energy, and a young appearance has given me an advantage in a society which values a youthful appearance, but, thanks to my mum and her friend, I never felt "looking young" was a style goal as much as a lucky toss of the dice. Reading the article made me wonder if those "perennials" aren't in for an unpleasant shock in a few years when sharing a wardrobe and yoga-loving lifestyle with their daughters isn't as easy as it is now. I'm kind of grateful for the impact that adult style had on me as a teenage and to have witnessed those adjusting, tweaking, tailoring, and styling tricks my mum and her friend used to transform the potentially dowdy offerings of a small town woman's clothing shop. Their style was a product of their hands and knowledge, not of their retail options. It gives me hope for dressing myself as I look forward to my seventh decade.

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