SO's budget/wardrobe/shopping style compared to yours? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

SO's budget/wardrobe/shopping style compared to yours?

Elly

Veteran

The budget post on the blog has got me thinking about this topic:

I'm really curious about how you and your SO deal with clothes and budget, and in general just how men and women's shopping and budgeting strategies differ (not trying to exclude same sex couples, just an area of curiosity).

Do you share a clothing budget? Do his clothes come out of a household budget, but yours come out of fun money? Do you have a different arrangement? Does your system work for you, or have a reasoning (i.e. I know some ladies take hubbies clothes out of the household budget because otherwise he'd be running around in t-shirts from '99 with holes)?

Does he care about style? Who spends more?

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from Laura (rhubarbgirl)

Thistle

Veteran

My DH doesn't deal with it. He just waits for me to notice he needs new jeans, socks, tees, whatever. Then I get them for him.

Thank goodness men's sizes are SO much easier!!

Kim

Veteran

Same here! LOL Dh will notice his black t and jeans are getting ratty. We'll go out and buy him more of the same brand (just like Steve Jobs, but without all the money! LOL) He dislikes shopping and is still picky about what he wants to wear. Only one brand of jeans and only one brand of tshirt.

I did manage to get him into cargo shorts last summer, and now he has me looking for those!

Gotta love them!

He does not get any creative satisfaction from his clothing so sticks to what he knows and spends his money and time elsewhere. (Unlike his wife! LOL)

Mo

(website)

Veteran

My SO buys it when he needs it and usually doesn't balk at the price. Sure, he'll take a sale if he can get it, but he has also plunked down $250+ on chukka boots full price just because he had the wardrobe hole. By contrast, my biggest shoe purchase was Frye boots deeply discounted to $235 from almost $400. As for sales, he waits for those for his Canali dress shirts and Quindici ties, as they invariable will go on sale on Nordie's if he waits.
But, he has also bought Canali suits full retail. But overall, I'd say he spends less. He has 2 pair of jeans - and thinks that's enough. I had to buy his 3rd for a xmas gift (on sale of course lol).
I buy him a cashmere sweater most xmas's too. Beyond that, he buys his own stuff, usually at whatever retail price but gets by with much much less variety than I.
For casual wear, he got an assortment of Wicked Quick tees and has been happy with them for well over a year now. A few pair of shorts, some jeans, one pair of cords, and he's covered. For years.

EDIT: as for budget, for the last 3 years I have started a clothing budget but I loosely follow it and it's not set in stone. The BF does not follow one, but as I mentioned, he buys more on an 'as needed' basis and doesn't really shop for pleasure like we women tend to do. Again, we end up spending about the same over the course of a few years once you factor in his suits he needs to update every decade (maybe $5,000 each over a 3 year period?)

jayne

Veteran

Funnily enough, the BF spends at least or more than I do if we happen to be out browsing (rare, but it happens). And for the general budget we spend without the other around, his portion is slightly lower BUT he uses most of it on sports clothing. If I added in the sport and IT equipment, he would exceed me. So I say clothing may be a necessity, but it is equal to a hobby also, and if budgets are to be compared....we are even!

sarah

Veteran

My SO is not seemingly very interested in clothes, and I've always sort of let him do his own thing. But just this past year, I started thinking that what with all of my interest in YLF/fashion at the moment, maybe I could start to help him up his style quotient. So, I've gradually started buying more clothes for him. And lo and behold, he always really likes them and wears them immediately. I'm going to be doing that more from now on.

rachylou

Veteran

At Christmas we go to get his shirts from Penny's and Kohls. He will buy eight and his mother will buy him three as a gift. He has, btw, almost as much clothing as me in the form of these shirts.

Late summer, but not every year, we go to Target and he gets jeans. I read the tags for him.

Two pairs of running shoes somewhere during the year. When depends how hard it is to find a pair he deems wearable.

Every 5 years, a new fleece. I mourn the charcoal Lacoste. That was a snazzy one.

We have also been looking for a replacement for his 30-year-old winter coat the past few years. He has a newer place-holder one right now. Still looking. Still wearing 30-year-old coat.

He's got some dress shoes, a sweater, and a sports coat that he will be buried in.

Soo...that's like, what, $300 a year for him, $300 a month for me? Haha.

Elly

Veteran

Awesome responses so far ladies, I added a bit more info to the original post, but have loved the responses so far! I'm really curious about how essential basics and replacements are budgeted for, and how clothing money fits into the budget of couples that share expenses.

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

My DH will not spend a lot on his wardrobe. He's not going to take care of nice things so figures why spend money on them. He shops mostly at Kohl's when we have a 30% off coupon, probably 4 times a year he'll buy a couple shirts and a couple pair of pants and will replace jeans when they get tattered. I'll buy him a couple work shirts and tee shirts for Christmas. He'll wear giveaway tees from softball tournaments and free windbreakers that come with magazine subscriptions. In contrast, I have a huge wardrobe and add to it all the time. I always have a wish list of clothing items and as soon as my budget allows I buy them. So we're nothing alike in the clothing department, except we both like to wear color. We both bought a pair of bright yellow shorts this spring (have to make sure we don't wear them at the same time).

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

My dad still wears the same jeans and t-shirts and sweaters that he did when I was a kid. Literally. I have a picture with him in which I was 3 months old and he was wearing one particular shirt. And when I was 3 years old. When I was 15. AND when I was 27! Talk about quality! And it looks awesome!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Heh, we don't really budget for our wardrobes, we both just buy what we need (or want) when we want to, but we try to keep it within reason. It all comes out of one joint account, so we always know who's spending what. I realize we are very lucky that we can afford to do that, because we did not always live this way.

My husband will easily spend more on shoes than I will -- he wears a large size that is not easy to find, so when he finds something that is comfortable AND stylish, he will not hesitate to pay big bucks for it. He has gained an appreciation for high-quality items, and he has learned to take care of them so they last.

He is also very tall and thin, so he has fit challenges that make it tough for anyone else to shop for him. In fact, he has had a bunch of his dress and casual button-front shirts custom tailored, and was so excited to have shirts that actually had long enough sleeves for the first time in his life. He has some very nice sport jackets and suits for his business life (again, all requiring tailoring), but he does not attend as many meetings requiring those as he used to, so his wardrobe dollars lately have gone into duplicating the miraculous 36" or 38" inseam jeans he finally found, and stocking up on various tees.

I'm a little amazed he never bats an eye when I come home with a shopping bag or another box shows up on our doorstep from Nordstrom or Zappos, but he also knows I return a lot of what I buy. I also get his input on my purchases when it's an item I'm unsure about. He's more concerned that I'm getting something I will enjoy and wear than about what it costs. In fact, sometimes we play a game where he tries to guess what I paid for an item, and he usually guesses way too high!

I realize my husband is not typical. After all, how funny is it that he owns a pair of Prada shoes and I don't?

Kristin L

Veteran

My BF doesn't really care. I knows he gets clothes at Christmas from his parents and from mine. If he needs something, he'll go out to Target and pick it out. He usually asks me to come along for advice. I've started trying to explain to him that if he bought a nicer pair of dress shoes, they wouldn't hurt his feet so much. Maybe one day he'll listen.

hedgiehog

Veteran

I usually shop monthly and buy whatever I like or feel there is a hole for. My DH had a promotion about a year ago and now requires suits for work. For some reason, he is now far more interested in clothes than he was before. In the past, I would usually point out what needed replacing and then buy it for him. Now.....he's into what he wears and buys for himself! The other day he called me from DSW and asked me what I thought about a certain pair of shoes. He texted me the photo and told me he used my $25 coupon! I didn't even know that he was aware DSW existed!
Really, I'm happy that he's more interested because I used to buy for him or we would wait until a UK trip was in the cards and shop there. I think I created a monster.

Raisin

Veteran

DH will usually just co plain that he needs certain items, and he'll either get them once I drag him out to, or pick them up for birthday/Christmas, or if we're out on vacation to a big city and he's shopping with me. Otherwise he ha no strategy or budget. He flies by the seat of his pants...hehe

Deborah

Veteran

I have a monthly amount that I spend on myself, and my clothes come out of that. DH doesn't allocate himself the same because he purchases clothing as he needs it. Same for my DS. DH doesnt mind spending on quality, but might buy a few things at the beginning of the season but that's it. As far as clothing goes I definitely spend more than he does BUT DH has a very expensive hobby so he never begrudges my spending

DonnaF

Veteran

DH wears a uniform for work, and the rest of the time he wears (ugly) jeans or sweats and ratty Ts with gosh awful footwear. He definitely looks worse than any person pre-YLF. At some point, his photo is likely to show up on a web site with a slash through it. Maybe my FB? I got all of us those black-out rectangle shades at UO last Xmas because I thought they were a hoot.

He will go out to buy pants for work, and when he visits his mom he will buy Ts that show the name of his hometown. After I bought an anorak, he told me he needed a rain jacket, so I ordered several so he/we could choose one that worked for him. I order shoes for him from Zappos, and when we were Costco members, he would sometimes put underwear and/or socks in the basket. He is truly sartorially challenged and a bit colorblind. But, after more than 25 years of marriage, I think it is only going to get worse rather than better, and if he starts to take an interest in his clothes than I should probably start to get REALLY worried!!! My dad was exactly like him and he also let my mom buy lots of clothes, so maybe this is some type of pattern?

Jyoti

(website)

Veteran

My brother's become quite stylish lately. He's got a lot more clothes than I thought and when I buy him something, he's picky and sometimes won't accept it and wear it, lol. I do buy stuff for my father and brother fairly often though. They supplement their wardrobes with lots of custom tailored stuff whenever we go to India.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

He wears a uniform for work so he spend less total on clothes than I do. He generally wears good jeans, a button down/snap front shirt and boots or cool sneaks. All of the pieces are pretty good, I do more sale searching than he does though.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I can see a trend here- my Hubby only buys clothes when he needs or sees something new.
Sometimes I tease him about his 'Dad Jeans' but it still doesn't inspire him to shop for new ones!
I have a (loose) budget, and probably spend 10 times the amount he does over a 12 month period. As Deborah said my D.H. prefers to spend $ on electronics or new Drums. (Drummers are like fashionistas- always on the lookout for new pieces, and forever tweaking with what they already have!)

Mander

(website)

Veteran

My DH absolutely hates shopping. He detests the crowds, the way shops are constantly moving departments around, the whole "season" system, and I think also the fact that styles change over time. Recently his work shoes developed a hole that was not repairable, and he wore them that way for months before he was finally able to bring himself to go shopping for a new pair!

But on the other hand, he does take some care with his appearance. He wears a suit to work every day, so when we saw the same suit on sale we bought a second identical one and an extra pair of matching trousers. He also has a fondness for slightly wild ties (not novelty ones, but bright colors and bold patterns).

We don't have any kind of budget for these things, and we mainly use separate bank accounts. Both of us just buy whatever we decide we need or want when we have the opportunity to do so. I spend a heck of a lot more than he does, though I don't know exactly how much.

anne

Veteran

I have a budget that I follow loosely (and usually exceed a little, but I set it pretty low) use vouchers, am big on comparison shopping, plan my year's shopping, take into account body type, colouring, fashion and all the other stuff we learn here at YLF.

DH walks into a shop (usually Rivers Clearance) every so often and comes out in half an hour with say, 3 pairs of jeans or 2 winter jackets, or 5 shirts (he is into bulk shopping). He wears jeans every day except formal events or high summer when the shorts come out, and tops them with tees or buttondowns, adding a sweater or a casual jacket in winter. Some shirts and PJs come from his parents and other tees are presents. He has minimal interest in clothing or fashion but wouldn't want me to buy for him.

We have no budget for his clothes (or the kids) but I would guess he would spend 1/2 of what I do. That is partly because I wear orthortics and so require expensive shoes, and partly of course, because I am way more interested in clothes!

Elly

Veteran

I ended up with company for the weekend (my mother was celebrating a "big" birthday, so I played hostess for family that came to celebrate) so I am just getting back to this thread now.

I've been reading everyone's responses and boy did they give me a laugh! I can totally relate to almost every post, with one male family member or another. My father went to my mother's birthday dinner in one of our moderately upscale restaurants this weekend in OVERALLS! I swear, it was like that "Duck Dynasty" show--- a.k.a. the Clampetts go to Maui :0

The SO is another matter. He dresses pretty badly for somebody that is pretty picky and cares about his personal appearance quite a bit, but I do have hope for him. He has had a rough last 4-5 years fashion wise (weight gain and loss, several job/profession changes, a really restricted budget, and a divorce from a woman that was very interested in changing the SO's style to match her own) and I'm hoping that it'll get better.

Part of it is that he is hard to fit and hard on clothes, but he also runs very hot but has to wear at least one extra layer up top because of a device he wears at his waist that he is senstive about concealing in public. All of this adds up to having to find lightweight, durable performance fabric layers in tall sizes and long fits. I think one of the biggest things for him is that that costs money, and while he will invest in good boots he has a hard time spending his "petty cash" on expensive clothing since he doesn't have a line item budget for clothes. Luckily though, he wears a uniform 4 days a week, so he doesn't need a large quantity of casual clothing. I do think having a regular clothing budget for him would encourage him to go ahead and spend the money.

His other really weird quirk is the amount of clothing he has. I've known him for several years now and he still ocassionally pulls clothes out of bags in storage that I've never seen before. He will wear them a couple times and then he is usually back to his same 2-3 favorites, but for a man that regularly has nothing comfortable and appropriate to wear he has 2 entire closests filled with old, cheap, ill-fitting clothes.

We don't share finances, but he probably spends less than me, but not by much. I really enjoy fashion but I think the biggest difference is that I'm also hard to fit and like quality materials, but I'm not in denial that I have to seek out tall sizing and get alterations. Most of what I buy fits well and gets worn often, so I have way fewer clothes and I tend to wear them out.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

My DH also does the semiannual giant clothes buy at someplace like kohls. His wardrobe choices are limited both by preference (he likes routine) and by his size - he's 6'6" and "plus size" so the fashionable stores don't go up to his size, and the same for shoes, I think he wears a size 14, which is not common even at Nordstrom. He prefers black and dark colors for shirts and wears jeans 95% of the time.

i don't know if his dislike for shopping is because he can never find anything or just a natural antipathy for crowded places wi lots of people. He's definitely less of a bargain hunter than I am; he is much more willing to invest in something pricier if its what he wants. He also wears his stuff a lot more and for longer than I do, so it makes sense. He's frustratingly willing to give up for "good enough," though, because he doesn't like the search process, he just wants to make a decision and move on.

We are both losing weight and I am interested in seeing what will happen when he's 'shrunk' into the kind of sizes that are more commonly available at department stores. I've already threatened him with a shopping spree when he gets closer to goal weight and I think he's bracing himself.

Oh yeah, I forgot to answer the budget thing. We have a combined budget and he definitely makes more than I do (self employed) but I also do a lot of the household/housewifery things so I consider that part of my contribution to the family logistics even if it doesn't make cash money. We don't have a strict dollar amount for clothes for either of us, we just try to keep it sane (which normally means he thinks I own too many clothes and i think he should get some more).