Sort of OT: Sometimes stuff is just... stuff. - YouLookFab Forum

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Sort of OT: Sometimes stuff is just... stuff.

catgirl

Veteran

On a side note, I've been culling tons of things around the house, as we are remodeling the kitchen and need some space to store the cabinets when they first arrive. One such item is an antique rocking horse - it's wood and plaster, very turn of the century looking, that someone gave me when my son was born. It had been broken and repaired several times but has a real horsetail and that authentic shabby chic look.

I hung onto it till now, but it can't be ridden by children (too delicate) and is not even close to my decorating style. This weekend I put in on Craigslist for $25 and a bidding war started!

http://anchorage.craigslist.or.....57985.html

Seeing it in such demand made me question whether it is actually some priceless artifact and if I should keep it. But you know what? I don't care. It has no history with me, I don't need it, I don't want it, and therefore no matter how much it's worth, it's just an object taking up space in my house. If I see it on Antiques Roadshow valued at $500,000? I don't care. It deserves to be loved and I deserve to be free of it.

I am applying this lesson to my clothing from now on...

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Raisin

Veteran

Good thinking! It just cluttering up your life, and someone else will love it, as evidence by your bidding war. Everyone is happy! I try to think the same way with all my "stuff".

Inge

(website)

Very wise words, Una!

Sylvie

Veteran

Hear, hear! Our time is worth something too. Everything we own should be beautiful or useful. If it's not, the energy/time we get from having it out of your lives far outweighs the potential financial gain.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I agree absolutely.

Sara L.

Veteran

I understand. Occasionally I'll consider holding on to something just because someone else wants it. It's like it's become suddenly more valuable. I really have to watch for this unpleasant trait in myself. I even do it just playing cards - if I discard something that someone else snatches up, I question whether I should have gotten rid of it.

catgirl

Veteran

Sara, I can't believe you said that, because it's exactly what's happening. It's like that story of the dog in the manger, who can't eat the hay but won't let the cows eat it either. Suddenly I'm thinking "This horse is pretty cool... maybe *I* could paint it and sell it for a fortune...." Ugh.

It IS unpleasant, and I'm going to sell this thing dor $25 just to teach myself to cut it out.

Carole

Veteran

I admire your determination and strength,Una. I have found myself regretting most of the furniture treasures that I have sold. Each one I wish I would have kept because I'm too damed sentimental. I guess the best thing is to make the decision to get rid of something and never look back.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Way to go Una! I'm starting to come to the realization that clutter actually causes me stress. I stare at things that I don't use and then I feel badly that I haven't used them, that they are taking up precious real estate, etc. etc.

Your rocking horse will get a new lease on life by someone who really wants it. This is a good thing.

shiny

Veteran

I clicked on the link - looks like you changed your mind?

I totally agree with you but I have to first tell you an anecdote.... about how my mom was de-cluttering for a yard sale (this was when I was a kid, so in the 70s), and she put all these old dolls into a grocery bag, marking "5 cents" on the outside of the bag. Someone came along and asked "5 cents each??" with excited voice. My mom said, "No, the whole bag."

One week later, my mom was driving by the antique store... and there in the window... where all the old dolls, that she sold for just 5 cents. Turns out they were antiques. Worth thousands. A piece.

It's possible your rocking horse is similar. Please, please, PLEASE have it appraised before you let it go. You may get enough $ to buy another Burberry coat.

catgirl

Veteran

Shiny, I sold it and took down the listing. I don't even want to know if it's worth thousands. This is the trap I am trying to avoid as I feel I will become a hoarder. I got it for nothing, so have lost nothing, right?

Who on earth would pay thousands for a rocking horse or a doll, unless it's something that should be in a museum? I have clients who insist their coin collections are priceless, yet there is no market for them and they get sold for pennies on the dollar eventually.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I am full of sincere admiration. Stuff is sometimes just stuff. Yes.

catgirl

Veteran

RELIEF! The woman who came to pick up the horse was so happy - she said she is going to put it in the perfect spot in her house for a nursery. She has no intention of upselling it or anything, and she was so sweet. In the meantime I've been looking up rocking horse sites and am pretty sure this is a nice foreign reproduction of old rocking horses - i.e. vintage but not a true antique. And it's out of my house. Donating the $25 to the Red Cross.

Good karma all around!

rae

(website)

Veteran

"I deserve to be free of it."

Awesome line! I know people who are being eaten alive by their stuff. Going to work to pay for storage units, rearranging clutter into neat piles every day... untie that albatross!

Ariadne

Veteran

Way to go, Una. Hopefully it found a new home where it will be loved and used. I'm always decluttering--unused stuff or too much stuff makes me nuts (and I still feel I have waaaaay too much).

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for sharing this story. This makes me feel better about dropping off 4 bags of clothing and shoes at the local Helping Hands Thrift Store. I'm trying not to hang on to my hoarding tendencies too tightly.

Gaylene

Veteran

Having to dismantle and sell stuff from my husbands' and my parents' houses in the past few years has really brought home that most of our "too good to get rid of" things will probably end up in the landfill when someone else has to deal with it.

My mother was such a wise woman when she decided to hand over all of her treasured things while she was still capable of seeing the pleasure that it gave others--family, friends, and strangers alike. Her decision to distribute her precious items while she could still tell us the stories behind the items and while she was able to see first hand how much having these "nice" things meant to families who had left so much behind to live in a new country really taught me a lesson. It is ironic how hanging on to our precious items can ultimately result in them being tossed out or sold for a few dollars, while donating, or gifting, the item can mean it will be treasured by another person.

catgirl

Veteran

Your mother was indeed wise! I recommend that to all my clients, Gaylene. So many people want to hoard or store things when moving into a care facility or downsizing - why not give it away and see the joy people get? Although sometimes people don't want your dishes/knick-knacks/collection of rocking horses. :-0

RunningSue

I took some of my kids good wooden toys to the consignment shop today. I told the owner to sell if for whatever it would sell for. I surely do not need it, I need the space more with 5 kids. I am finally letting go of things I had been hanging on to to sell myself. How freeing it is to get this stuff out of my house.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Gaylene, I know what you mean. Nothing brought this home for me like cleaning out my mom's house after she passed away four years ago. It took my sister and I months to go through everything, and since she and I share our mom's sentimental nature, it was hard to let things go. I did a good job of keeping mostly only things that were meaningful to me, although I still ended up with some boxes of stuff I know I will still need to deal with someday soon (a box of Barbies, other dolls, toy puzzles, etc -- like what am I going to do with these??).

Mom held onto a lot of my childhood things thinking someday I would have a daughter wo would play with them -- well, that of course never happened, but now I struggle with feelings of guilt about letting stuff go. It can feel like I'm rejecting *her* even though I know that's not true.

My sister took literally a UHaul full of furniture and other things back home from mom's -- some of it she used, some of it she gave to her daughters, and a lot of it she was able to let go of, over time, as she processed her grief and found the desire to reclaim her home from all the extra stuff. I do have to say, it's nice to see our parents' furniture, etc., when I go visit my sister (my childhood bedroom furniture is in the guest bedroom, which is somehow a little surreal and comforting at the same time).

I do sometimes worry I've let go of "valuable" heirlooms, but Shannon and Sylvie are right -- by and large, too much stuff weighs us down and saps our energy. Una, I'm so glad you feel good about letting the rocking horse go!

Isabel

Veteran

I also agree. The true worth of something is the value that YOU give it. And for you , it holds no value. I also think that as a society we tend to undervalue peace of mind.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

I agree, Una! Stuff can be just stuff. Or, it can have meaning and bring us joy. I hate clutter, but at the same time, I will fully admit that owning certain things makes me very happy -- my pottery collection, for example, which comes from a pottery company in my parents' hometown. It makes me feel connected and happy, and I have it on shelves in the dining room where everyone can see it. The point is, once you decide which stuff makes you happy, you need to have that stuff out, on display, where you can enjoy it, not shoved in a cardboard box in the basement (the way I did with my pottery collection for years!).

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Laura, that's a great point. My inherited glove collection I posted about the other day is a good example. Taking them out of that plastic container and dedicating a small chest to them means they are now easily viewed and accessed. I feel like I can now use and honor the gloves in a way they deserve, if that makes sense. I imagine my grandmother would be tickled that they're in such pristine condition, but I bet she would also be pleased to think they're being used and loved.

I need to apply that thinking to other belongings. If I cannot use or see it, what good is it doing?