Sort of OT-Help Me Decide (Costume/Bra Issue)

This is long- sorry!
So 11 yr old daughter (the dancer) got the last of her costumes last night. They have a competition on Saturday, and luckily it fits her well. I managed to find her a strapless bra that fits earlier this week (not an easy task), and I thought it would work for both of her costumes. It won't work for this one- the back is low cut and completely open with just a couple of criss cross spaghetti straps. To add to the problem, there is also a cut out in front with just a small band attaching one side to the other at the bust. The strapless bra that she has is luckily very close to her skintone, and probably won't show from the stage (and doesn't show from the front because it hits where the band lies). She may just have to wear it for this first competition. But, she has several other performances so we need to get this matter sorted out. She is well endowed, and the stick on bras are not big enough for her (which is what some of the moms suggested). Plus, this costume is for a tap routine and she needs the support of a real bra. I found this one:
http://www.discountdance.com/v.....38;TopCat=
It will probably show a little bit front the front cutout, but if I order it today it might get here in time. It's on final sale so if it doesn't work we are out of luck, but it's under $10 including the shipping. It looks like it has an underwire, but the only size left is Large and I have no idea how they run. I'm inclined to think that it would fit as long as we can adjust the straps enough since dance stuff runs small, but it's a total gamble.
Or there are other clear back type of bras available that we could play with sizing before the next performance.
My other thought is to just get a high backed nude leo like this:
http://www.discountdance.com/d.....=239630035
that would cover her bra in the front and back, and also make costume changes easier backstage.
What do you guys think?

14 years ago

Steph

Veteran

For less than $10, I would absolutely get the clear back bra and try it out. The nude leotard sounds like a good solution, but would it be at all visible from the audience? Also, how does your daughter feel about that? I remember being large-chested and 11 years old and being SO self-conscious about it--I know I would have felt uncomfortable if I had to wear an extra piece of clothing that my friends didn't. (I actually remember putting on a tap costume once that couldn't accommodate my chest and wanting to cry, and then a nasty girl telling me I should get a reduction.) If your daughter is okay with it, then it would make things a lot easier.

I would also ask around and see what other chesty girls do for this. Even if none of the other 11 year olds have this problem, surely some of the 15 or 16 year olds do, right? Or is there some kind of forum you can go to where dancers congregate? Maybe they would have suggestions.

Sidenote, but costumes like that are so frustrating. I guess it's just something that happens in the dance world, but I do feel like the people choosing the costumes should be a little more cognizant of the fact that at that age girls are developing at different rates and choose costumes accordingly. It's already hard enough to deal with a changing body. But maybe I am just projecting my old insecurities!

chewyspaghetti

Thanks Steph!
I don't think the nude leo would be visible from the stage, but the other girls aren't wearing them, and she is not so keen on the idea. She is actually one of the younger girls in her class, and there are some high schoolers in there who are also large chested. I have been backstage every year, and I have watched these girls (and others) shove themselves into the stick on bras that don't fit, go braless and flop all over the stage, or wear the clear strapped bras, which can catch the light on stage sometimes. Those seem to be the only options, and each year the costumes get smaller! I don't know if it's different than in the regular population, but almost all of the older girls at dance seem to clearly be in the wrong size bras anyway. The teacher that my daughter has is usually very good with her costume choices, but this one was just not well thought out.

So sad for your daughter and all the other girls shoving themselves into these costumes.

I definitely know where your daughter is coming from in not wanting to be different than the other girls. I think if it were me, this might be a time where I let her decide--if she wants to flop around, or shove herself into something too tight, I think I would let her. It can just be such a miserable time for a girl that even the solution that makes the most sense and will be supportive/make her look best on stage might not be the one that will make her happiest or the most comfortable. (I remember my mom begging me to get better/more supportive/more coverage bras when I was young, and I resisted. Looking back, she was right, but I just wouldn't have been able to handle it at that point in life--I needed time.)

Lots of luck--I hope that it works out for her!

I went ahead and ordered her the clear back bra- I got a notice that it shipped already, so it should be here in time. I think that some of the girls will have these, as I have seen them around the dance studio. Hopefully it fits!

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