So Disappointed - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

So Disappointed

Echo

Veteran

This is mostly just a vent. Many people have things far worse than we do, I know, but this is just my own little pity-party.

My daughter is an amazing artist. She draws and paints all the time, but is pretty talented in ceramics, as well. Last year we sent her to Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp in Michigan. Kids from all across the country go there, and they have sections for performance, instruments, dance, broadcasting, video production, visual arts and more. Regardless, she had the time of her LIFE. She wanted to sign up for this summer the moment she came home last year.

And... they cancelled. Rationally, I knew they would. Realistically, they were absolutely correct to do so. But I am so disappointed for her. I just found out tonight, and she has gone to bed, so I cannot tell her until tomorrow, but tomorrow is her birthday and I don't want to ruin her birthday. She is going to be crushed.

I realize that over 4,000 other kids (from the multiple camp sessions) are facing the same disappointment, and I really feel for the camp, as they make ALL their money over the summer. We will still sign her up for next summer, but ugh, I just feel terrible for her.

And I know - First World problems, right? Families are losing their livelihoods and their homes, and people are losing their lives. I am lucky we get to cry over camp being cancelled, but that's small consolation for a sixteen year old (tomorrow) girl. Thanks for letting me vent.

Off Topic

23 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Suz

(website)

Veteran

It's so hard. The disappointment is real, and it's good to acknowledge it. That's the path to true empathy, I think -- being honest about our own feelings helps us understand other people's feelings and needs in a deeper way. Meanwhile, you have a kid who will be very sad...and of course your heart is breaking for her. My kid also suffered some artistic losses this spring/ summer and is struggling to come to terms with it. It is really hard for young people because they can't imagine they will ever get another chance.

If it would help her to know this, please share with her that many, many grown up artists are facing similar disappointments, and we get it. I had been accepted this summer for an amazing artists' residency program that I was looking forward to SO MUCH. And of course, it was cancelled.

We have to grieve before we can reach the point of radical acceptance.

rachylou

Veteran

No, it’s a big disappointment. Every moment looms large for the young. My boss has two daughters. Her eldest and her husband did a big father-daughter trip and this year it was the youngest’s turn, which of course is long cancelled. I feel bad for her; it’s a big blow.

Gigi

Veteran

Ow. I have the same artistic temperament, and I would be crushed also. Yes, some serious things are going on with sustenance--how do people put food on the table right now?--but culture must go on too.

Style Fan

Veteran

Suz said it so well. I feel for your daughter. Yes, some people are losing their homes, jobs, businesses and lives. Those are real. Art is also real and important. It is not a frivolous thing. What are so many of us turning to now? Probably some form of art, music, literature, etc.

I have a lot to say on this subject.

cindysmith

Veteran

I think Suz said it well. Yes, we are having #firstworldproblems. At least you recognize it's a first world problem, unlike the people who yell at grocery workers about how we need to limit the quantities of packages of chicken (hint: there are signs posted all over the chicken section limiting each household to 2 packages). The fact that cancelled fine art camp is a first world problem doesn't make the hurt any less real than the hurt being experienced by people who have it worse.

It's ok to be disappointed. It's ok to hurt for your child. It's ok for your child to hurt. Because the hurt is real, and you are both feeling it, and the fact that you're feeling it means that the feelings are valid.

So sorry for your kid, and for all the other artists who are being so profoundly affected by the coronapocalypse.

kkards

Veteran

I’m sorry for your daughter. Yes, it’s a 1st world problem, but that doesn’t make the disappointment she will feel any less.

Laurie

Veteran

Camp is such a huge thing in people's lives! It can influence and affect even career choices. One of my 25 year old son's best friends is now a paid employee of the summer camp she attended as a youth, and was a counselor for during her young adult years. She's in the turmoil now of how to handle cancellation, contingency planning, and so on. It's all a rippling big mess.

We know these disappointments are coming and are intellectually prepared, but when it is made official it's particularly emotionally hard, and sad.

Runcarla

Veteran

I am so sorry for your daughter. Can you offer her another outlet for her creativity? Would you let her paint a mural in her bedroom or elsewhere in the house?

My bucket list trip to the UK in order to attend RHS Chelsea Flower Show this May has been cancelled. Chelsea pulled the plug and refunded my tickets a month ago. I learned that many of the exhibitors are composting their flowers and plants. I’ve waited 25+ years for this! Some of our expenses have been reimbursed, but others are sunk costs. Like you said - ‘first world problems’ - but it doesn’t lessen the disappointment. My garden will be getting a lot of TLC this summer.

Condolences to everyone who has suffered a disappointment because of this pandemic.

Echo

Veteran

Thanks so much for understanding. Suz and Runcarla, I am so sorry that your residency and trip were cancelled. Those were opportunities of a lifetime, and it must be incredibly hard to let them go. As some of you mentioned, this is hard for her simply because she is young and has not yet had experiences like this. The ability to deal with these things comes with time, but they hit especially hard when you have no frame of reference to help process them.

This is huge for her, and she will likely go into an artistic field as an adult. We'll send her to Blue Lake next year and perhaps will send her to Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design the summer after her senior year. Perhaps planning for the future will help alleviate some of her disappointment. If the world opens again, I will look for day camps or classes she can take to help give her some sort of outlet this summer.

Sal

Veteran

I can understand why you feel that way - it is sad. Especially harder for teenagers to really appreciate that there will be other opportunities and a year seems like such a long time for them.

I know of many people who have had disappointments/cancellations over the pandemic. I feel for the high school kids missing their graduations and school sports opportunities especially those in their last year of school.

And Carla/Suz for your travel and opportunities too. It is sad and there is real grief.

I am 50 in June and many of my friends have birthdays this year - a couple had trips planned that were cancelled. Two long arranged parties have been cancelled too. It doesn't compare to the loss of life, income or risk that some people face but it is sad.

One of the things I am struggling with is - what do I look forward to? Of course there are lots of things but I have to adjust my thinking.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

My nephew just officially graduated high school (they aren't even trying to have the seniors distance learn), without a senior prom, and, without playing his sport. His team was a favorite to win state this year.
Disappointments are real.

And, as you said, we have family fighting Covid-19. All of them are winning the fight and have made significant improvements but 1 has some challenging side effects.

Jules

Veteran

I understand. My daughters’ sleep away camp hasn’t been cancelled yet but of course we are anticipating it. My kids were dealing ok with the domino-like announcements and realizations about school, social life and trip plans, but when they eventually saw far enough ahead to realize camp would likely be cancelled as well it was a really hard moment. My oldest in particular was really counting on it for social/self-esteem reasons after a bumpy start to high school this year.
I myself am really hoping just to get to the cottage this summer (currently we’re not welcome due to lack of local infrastructure, which I get). I really count on our yearly summer family holiday there and it’s only a few short years until my kids will have their own summer plans and it won’t be the same ever again (something I was already mourning/processing before corona - an early version of empty nest syndrome I suppose, I do tend to process things in advance). When I told my daughter we could still reasonably hope for a cottage holiday, hoping to cheer her up, she said the cottage is OK but camp was the really important thing, which hurt a bit too.

Anonymous

We cancelled trip plans for what sounded like a lovely European trip with time in Italy’s Lake Como region for our 50th wedding anniversary. We will not be able to get all our money back in spite of trip insurance. Lots of disappointed people.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Carla, Joy, Sally, all of you -- I am so sorry you've had these losses. Solidarity!

One of the things I am struggling with is - what do I look forward to?

Sal, this is exactly it!!

My strategy so far is simply living one day at a time and forgetting about attachment to the future. (Not easy -- I am no Dalai Lama, let me tell you!!)

But trying to do one thing that gives a feeling of mastery, find one moment of joy, and talk to one friend a day -- that is keeping me sane. Just checking things off. And living in the moment. But it is hard.

Marilyn

Veteran

I'm sorry for your daughter, Echo. I'm certain it's especially hard for kids to to miss out on things.

My daughter was very much looking forward to a conference in New Orleans in May. And my son and I were supposed to see The Black Keys together in a few weeks.

pil

Veteran

Echo, I’m sorry your daughter’s camp was cancelled, what a disappointment. At least she’s young enough she can go next year. I actually went to Blue Lake (violin) as did my son (bassoon). We both had a great time! I remember mom and I being on the road for about an hour when it occurred to me my sleeping bag was still at home and we turned around to get it. Oops!

taylor

Veteran

Such a huge disappointment, and you have every reason to feel this way. This was an earned milestone experience for her.

I was just thinking about these sort of things. Those graduating from High School and College. Athletes who have trained for the 2020 Olympics. Proms, dances , Science and Art Camps. It’s all such a shame . My heart really breaks for these young people. My grandchildren are missing out some of their milestone experiences too , sadly .

Echo

Veteran

I am so sorry for those cancelling vacations and other plans. While it doesn't really help any of us, I guess we're all in the same boat.

My son is actually graduating this year, but while they probably won't have commencement on the scheduled date, they will hold it later in the summer. We had already adjusted to the fact that DS wouldn't be playing in Solo & Ensemble (he adores his tenor saxophone and had a class A solo this year), DS and DD wouldn't be performing in forensics (DD got a gold at state last year), and the concerts wouldn't be happening. We are lucky that our school has a Junior Prom, so DS went last year and DD is only a sophomore this year.

School has already gone to pass/fail for last quarter, and the state has waived instructional days and state testing this year. My fear is that our school district WILL go back if the governor lifts the order (still set to expire April 24). There has already been one student who has had it and recovered, and because we have a K-12 building, if one student brought it, it would spread like wildfire through the entire community. With so many kids spending time out of town because of custody arrangements and different parents' work schedules, someone would certainly bring it to school. So as much as I hate the fact that the world seems to be cancelled, I cannot imagine us safely going back to school, either.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Yep, lots of disappointments this year. But if I'm honest, I had so many disappointments in my own school age years I think it helped me become a stronger person overall. If it's an option, helping other people who are less fortunate is a great way to deal with personal disappointments. Maybe there is some way you can figure out something artistic your daughter can do that would help others? Challenge her to write a song of hope, or create a dance routine or mini-movie with the goal of bringing positivity to others? Even better, try to get online with some of the other students and do something as a group?

rebekahphoto

Veteran

Im so sorry to hear, the disappointment she feels will be very real. As an artist there is nothing more magical than a camp or workshop surrounded with other creative people and energy. I have previously taught a summer semester abroad in Italy and this years program is cancelled...I feel the heartbreak from all the students and faculty who have been looking forward to this amazing experience

I was going to be teaching a summer art camp this June that will be cancelled, students will be so disappointed and I will not have the income--like so many others adapting to this shifting life we will adjust, but the economic hardship is real

My current classes have been moved online until the end of the year, and although it is working, it is not the same...yet I am so grateful we have the ability to do so and I can continue to work

keep an eye out, many organizations are offering free online workshops and creative content, so you may be able to find something interesting for your daughter to pursue.

unfrumped

Veteran

Totally get it.
I “ watched church” at a church not in my state, and the pastor took some time in the children’s service to have the write in( chat) what things they had hoped to do but now can’t. Visiting grandparents. Baseball. Camp. Very real important things for children and teens, after food and shelter.

Anonymous

Everyone seems to be feeling down with nothing, especially travel, to look forward to. The little grandchildren want to go to a park or playground but those are still closed because children do not practice social distancing and their have been several sad stories of children and college students who have died after getting the virus this spring.

rachylou

Veteran

I have just realised there will be no Decorator Showcase for my birthday this year. First time in 35 years, I will have to be different!