I'm 47, and to me ageing gracefully is not about trying to look young, but trying to look good. We all want that, don't we? Whatever age we are. Here in the UK people of my parent's generation tend to give up on their appearance, but I think those of us of the younger generation won't be like that. I fully intend to have a little work if I think it will make me feel better about myself.

Some fairly good genes and judicious use of sunscreen (despite parents who are sun worshippers, and whose skin is showing it) have meant that I probably do look younger than I am. But I don't spend hours and hours doing stuff to look after myself - I want the whole family to have a good diet, exercise and Pilates are my hobbies, and I love playing around with skincare, so it all comes together well.

Kafe - For you meaning aging gracefully means no surgical assitance, for someone else it may be different. I understand that each woman has their own idea of what it means but I would hope that if my idea is different than yours we could disagree in a better way than my friend did with me.

Kate S. - If I have learned nothing else from getting older, I have learned that other's opinions of me should not color my perception of myself. Granted, that is easier said than done but I work hard to not let negative thoughts change my outlook.

Bella - You are gorgeous and aging with a great deal of grace.

Scarlet - I agree with you.

CCiele - You are graceful to me.

JennyK - I understand your desire to not look like you twins grandmother when they are in high school. I live in a small town and at 27 had my daughter - that makes me the oldest Mama in her pre-school class, and at times I feel extremely aware of that fact. If my husband and I decided to have another child, I will be in my mid-30's before he/she is born, and want to make sure I look as nice as the younger mothers.

DeniseP - I agree 100% that true beauty radiates from within. My daughter has 3 great-grandmothers are each of them is absolutely beautiful to me. Yes, they
have wrinkles, but they go for life with gusto, stand their ground, love fiercely, and laugh often. I tell my husband quite frequently that if I am like them
when I reach their age, I will consider it the greatest blessing.

Taylor - Thank you!

ButterflyLady - I like that thought "not trying to look young, but trying to look good". I may adopt that as a personal mantra.

Really interesting thread. I don't think I can add much other than to share that I believe also that aging gracefully means looking after yourself. I have always looked after my skin, try to eat well etc and I think its worth it. I am not trying to look younger, I just want to look the best I can and its never to early to start looking after yourself. I hope you dont mind me saying this but perhaps your friend has some self esteem issues which prevent her from seeing the value in caring for herself?

kimlee, absolutely. There is no one right way to approach the aging process but it is important to take care of ourselves. Good for you for starting early and being the best you can be. Maybe she reacted the way she did because she's defensive?

I'm one of the guilty ones for not taking proper care of my skin while I was young, and sometimes don't still.(should know better, I know)
This being said I don't put aside a little botox or the likes of it if my wrinkles start bothering me too much.
Not because I don't want to look old, just because I want to feel comfortable with what I see in the mirror.
In some cultural backgrounds(mine partly only) women were supposed to stop taking care of themselves and 'age gracefully' because that meant they were more worried with their children and husband. It went so far as people usually saying 'I already found a husband, I don't have to care anymore.'
All this talk was always very depressing for me, but as much as women have liberated themselves from this ideas from the past, the truth is they still linger in the background.
Maybe your friend is still trying to find out what is 'aging gracefully' for herself.