My skin has improved massively and I think I figured out why so I thought I'd post a followup:

I realized that my skin issues roughly corresponded with the time that I have been using Bare Minerals. I was liking it less and less by the day. It seemed to emphasize my large pores and looked rather cakey in certain areas (even though I used a miniscule amount and buffed like mad). I stopped using it, and my skin improved within days. It isn't perfect and never will be, but it's back to normal at any rate. I'm not dissing BM. Obviously a lot of women love it and have success with it, but I guess it wasn't meant for my skin type.

I have gone back to Tarte, having found my compatible shade. I just took a bunch of samples and matched myself instead of relying on someone else and it seemed to do the trick. Thinking of trying the cheek stain next...but baby steps for now...

Anyway, thanks to everyone for putting up with my whining. It was really bad at the time but seems to have improved considerably and I'm relieved.