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Sizing up rant.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Full disclosure I used to be significantly larger than I am now (was 16-18, now 8-10). I used to squeeze myself in XL's because there was no sizing up unless you went into plus sizes.
Today I was at a store trying on a dress and some button down shirts. The dress looked a bit small so I grabbed a medium and a large. The medium was to tight and showed every line of my undergarments, the large was just eh. In one of the button downs in a size medium, it gaped massively at the bust, couldn't size up because it was a sale item and no large available. In the other button down the medium was passable but if I moved too much one could tell it was too tight. The large fit, but I had a mental block in buying a large. A large represents what I used to be.
I realize on one level that size is just number and nobody is going to see or care what the tag says. But it still irks me. Especially in cases like the that grey DVF dress that I bought, and did size up and and it was still too tight, I just couldn't order the 12 because it was my past.
Does anyone else feel like this sometimes or is just my own shortcomings?

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

Maya

Veteran

Oh Anna, I'm so sorry you had such a frustrating experience. I can totally relate. It's extremely hard to find buttondowns that fit if you have any curve to your top half at all. Dresses are tough too, especially wovens. I have much more curve than I really should, but with some patience I am able to find pieces that work. If I can do it, so can you. Don't let this one bad experience get you down!

On the size note, I know a lot of people say don't worry about the size and don't fret over the number on the tag--but I have a different perspective. Unless the item is particularly amazing and you love it enough to override the negative feelings about the size, it isn't worth feeling bad every time you wear it. Move on and find something you'll be able to wear with confidence.

Irene

Veteran

Nowadays a number really does NOT represent your size at all. I can be an american size 2, 4, 6 and maybe even 8 at the same time. Am I not amazing? Now seriously, I wouldn't be bothered. As long as it fits you, you should be fine. I can understand how you feel, coz I've also gone from being kind of 'big' to being kind of 'small', but what counts is how many inches you measure and how much you weight (if talking about getting 'fat' or 'big') and basically, feeling good in your own skin no matter what size you are

PS: Last day I saw a girl wearing an L-size jacket (I saw the tag) but she was quite small, so that proves my point. Sizes are stupid these days

tarzy

Veteran

I do understand your feelings - but I would encourage you to try to let go of the numbers! Every manufacturer seems to have different measurements for the same size. To badly paraphrase Gertrude Stein, a 12 is not a 12 is not a 12. It just isn't.

I have lost a few pounds in the last year, but I'm still the same size - and sometimes have to go up - because my body is changing with middle age. I'm getting thicker, although not necessarily fatter. It's quite odd. I often find I'm in between sizes too. Today I tried on a coat that was a smidge tight in a 6 and a bit loose in an 8. I decided it just wasn't the right style for me, and passed on it. Also, a 10 shirt often fits my bust, but will be a bit large in the body. Grrr... I'm becoming friends with my tailor.

They say one trick is when you get home, cut out the label so you don't have to be reminded of the number!

Megan

Hi Anna,

I wanted to chime in about the DVF dress- her sizes definitely run REALLY small so don't feel bad about that!

Congratulation on your weight loss btw- what an achievement!

Dashrashi

Veteran

This is something I struggle with, too. And I'm not going to deny getting a little frisson of excitement when the 4 fits better than the 6, or shopping at Loft and going for 2s and 4s rather than Ann Taylor and 4s, 6s, and 8s. But what I have to remember (and try to remember) when the 6 fits better than the 4 is that the size 2 skirt fitting at Loft today must be roughly the same size as the 6 or the 8 at Ann Taylor or Banana Republic, because I did not go up two sizes walking from one store in the mall to the other. My body is the same size, which means that all pants that fit my body are the same size, whether their labels agree or not. Also, so much designer stuff runs so small. I just sort of have to reconcile myself to being at the top end of the range instead of the middle/bottom--it actually helps make the numbers seem more arbitrary. Buying vintage has also helped a lot--initially typing in "vintage size 12" or "vintage size 14" in the ebay search box was kind of weird, but you learn to really let go of the sizing and focus more on the measurements, which, again, are going to be roughly the same for any item that fits you. Anyway, the more things I buy where the sizes are all over the place (e.g. brands that run big, brands that run small, european sizing, whatever weirdness benetton is doing lately, H&M, vintage, designer, . . . okay, Forever 21, too, etc.), the more I get okay with whatever my size is. I focus on the number on the scale and the tape measure, and after that, whatever fits is what my size is.

(I also just wanted to say how much I adore your WIWs. I know your style is less classic than a lot of people's, and it is so, so awesome to have it represented on the forum. I don't always comment but I love them. Keep rocking the shorts.)

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

How frustrating!

I have sort of the other side of a similar issue. My weight will fluctuate as much as 5 to 8 pounds within a few days. My size seems to be the same (IOW, my clothes all seem to fit fine/the same) but it's really annoying. I have some weird body image issues and I am always confused: am I getting bigger and I can't tell? Am I fine as-is and I just _see_ yuckiness? WTH???

Anyway, I can identify. :\

bj1111

Veteran

omg, you've depicted that internal tussle so accurately i think you've been in my head! i had this happen at nas where i grudgingly bought a 6 because the dresses were lovely and needed and fit better at the larger size. i'm thinking of cutting out the size tag since i get a minor seizure every time i put on the dresses and glimpse the tag.

i try so hard to be rational that this bit of irrationality bothers me...but i am powerless to make the automaticity of the thought go away!!!!

Sally

Veteran

I have lost a lot of weight recently and can understand your feelings completely. The few dresses I kept in a big size which still hang well on me, I just cut out the label. One of the hardest things about being a woman is the body issues....do men care what size they are?

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

When I was actively losing weight, I wanted to try and squeeze into the smallest size that I could (as 'motivation'). Now that my weight has been stable for a while, I am really learning to let that letter or number go. I am learning to pick the size that really fits best (which is often a size up from what I *could* wear)- especially with knits. It hasn't been easy, though. I just recently passed the two year mark on the start of my weight loss.

shana

Veteran

I feel this way too sometimes. I often have to size up with my tops and it's so weird being one size on the bottom and being a size or two bigger on the top. It completely throws me off. If I am feeling especially bad about it, I cut out the tag.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Thank you for all the thoughtful replies. I just got back from a two hour walk. Nothing like a little exercise in the fresh air to clear the head.

Scarlet

Veteran

To give an honest answer, yes, I feel like this sometimes. I didn't consciously realize I do this, but now that you mention it, I don't even try something on if "my" size looks too small. Which is really stupid of me. And what is more stupid is that in other clothing lines I can't buy anything because even the smallest size is too large for me. Then I feel sad/angry/bad that I am not even considered proper adult-sized. So that just goes to shows how random sizing is. Sigh, I guess this discussion makes me realize how silly it all is, but sometimes it's hard to quiet the inner voice.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Nothing more depressing than trying on clothes that are too small.

I am at my heaviest weight and am panicking about not fitting into some of my lovely things. (yes, I'm talking to you, Milly skirt).

I tried on a belt at all saints that was a *large* (the largest size) and didn't even fit on the widesest hook at the smallest part of my waist.

I have no advice except to say that obviously sizes are arbitrary and do not reflect anything about who you really are!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Although fairly slender I'm often a L or XL in some brands, it does worry me anybody over a UK size twelve would be considered too large for certain labels. I have become quite desensitised to the number on a label as I just accept I may be a UK10/12/14.

MsMary

Veteran

This is such a huge issue for me, too! I had weight loss surgery in March and have lost 43 pounds (17 to go). Started out busting out of my 12s and 14s, now I'm a size 4 on the bottom and anything from a small petite to a 6 to a 12 petite on top. I'm a 36DD so woven tops and dresses are problematic. At this point, most of the woven tops that fit in the bust are way way too big in the shoulders and torso, so I'm sticking with knits. But because of that, I have it in my head that I'm "really" a 12 or 14, and when I fit into a small or a small single-digit size, somehow I'm getting away with something.

Anyway, at this point I am so confused about (a) what size I wear, and (b) what size my body actually is, that I don't even know what to think about any of it! LOL

Kari

Veteran

I'm not really bothered by the size I buy - I'm everywhere from a 6 to 12 in dresses, or even a 14 in designer bridesmaid dresses, and between a medium to XL in tops. It's just ambiguous.

What bothers me much, much more is what I am dealing with now, where the clothes in my closet that I love, & that fit me a year ago, are suddenly too small. That's a real bummer. I know that there are some people who recommend getting rid of bigger clothing after weight loss as a deterrent against future weight gain, but I fluctuate a LOT (even throughout the month) and keep a variety of sizes in rotation so I don't find myself quite literally with nothing to wear.

catgirl

Veteran

I feel this way now that I've gained some weight. Before, I would shop anywhere from size 2-10 especially if thrifting. Now I'm more likely to walk away because I'm really hoping to work off these extra pounds. DVF runs tiny, and so do certain other brands (Theory comes to mind), so I tend to ignore the size and go for the style.