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Sitting with Discomfort...how do you know?

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

So, I've been wondering about my style and staying current. I be fair, I am very comfortable with defining and editing (and I have a pretty discerning eye in most areas other than my wardrobe) and I'm less comfortable with adopting new elements. I realize that it can take a while for the look of new styles/proportions to sink-in and appear "right". Any words of wisdom about knowing when one should push through that feeling of discomfort associated with a new (but ultimately rewarding and growing) experience and when that feeling means that a trend/item is just not right for you? I DO want to continually push myself as opposed to staying in my comfort zone for 20 years and becoming a fashion relic but I also don't want to feel like I'm wearing the Emperor's new clothes.

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14 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

I should add that the look I favor is a sort of Parisian, minimalist, Gentlewoman sort of style that doesn't encourage a lot of sartorial experimentation. Here's my pinterest, if you'd like a peek: https://www.pinterest.com/sammie070502/clothing/

Joyce B

Veteran

You posted a great topic. I am still learning when to move from my comfort zone and when not to but I am more comfortable with it than when I started. I think what you wear has to bring you joy while being practical for your lifestyle and it's good to try to look at new trends with an unbiased eye if possible.
You came to the right place to get advice. What I can say to you is, visit the forum often and follow Angie's fantastic blogs. That will lead you in the right direction.
I am sure you will get very good pointers on YLF. I am bookmarking your post to follow as well.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Angie has written some great posts on this topic. Here are a few to get you started:

http://youlookfab.com/2013/05/.....our-style/
http://youlookfab.com/2014/05/.....ure-style/
http://youlookfab.com/2015/11/.....e-renewal/

People's eyes adjust at different rates and not every trend is for everyone! One way of deciding is first to see, does it appeal at all? Invariably, some trends coming down the runway will turn you off while others will intrigue. Go towards the ones that interest you first. Also, you can try out trends at lower price points to see if they are worth investing in.

Some criteria you might use in deciding to try a style that may not necessarily appeal immediately is to consider if it would give you:

an answer to closet boredom
another way to wear a whole lot of items in your wardrobe that have been languishing
a solution to certain weather-related problems (as tall boots with skinnies tucked in did for most women in cold or rainy climates)
figure flattery or some other type of flattery
high comfort

Or whatever else you really value.

DonnaF

Veteran

I'm sitting here wearing my first pair of leggings for the first time EVER, so yes, I hear you.

A lot of things are trendy/on trend so I think a single person need not embrace it all. With some items, like footwear, one may not be able to find a fit. For example, with my foot shape and feet problems, I could never get a proper fit on the wonderful trendy footwear you pinned. With other items, I think it is worthwhile at least to try stuff on and experiment.

I am learning that one trendy item may trigger the need for adjustments in the rest of an outfit due to proportions, scale, structure and/or lack thereof. It is not that the new item doesn't work (unless it doesn't fit), it is that the other pieces need tweaking.

Angie's blog has helped me greatly in adjusting my eyes to new looks. She also has invaluable tips on how to wear them.

KikiG

Veteran

Some of my very, very favorite items are things I initially rejected as "too fashionable for me." Finally, I've learned to listen for that objection and override it. For work, one edgy or blingy thing (or one animal print item) is ok, to me. The rest of the outfit being ordinary dilutes it. Two, for evening. And I stop there. Shoes and jewelry are safer, I think, for me, in the 50+ category for a risk than a major item, so I'm much more willing to take a risk than with an investment item or something intended to last for longer than a few seasons, like a very expensive coat or bag.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, Suz--I thought I'd read Angie's entire archive, but maybe I need a refresher! Often, if I see something I like I'll know it right away. It's the things that I talk myself into that sometimes never feel genuine. Right now, I'm trying to talk myself into booties (long-time stink eye for booties and shoeties) because I want to access a better way to wear crops...and to stay current because it doesn't look like booties are going to go away any time soon...even though I waited long enough, I think. And bling of any sort.

peacechick

Veteran

Personally I think it's okay to take your time in venturing out of the comfort zone. You don't have to jump on board every trend unless it speaks to you from the get go. I remember taking a few years to get my boyfriend jeans after they took off here, because that was how long my eye took to adjust to the style. But my black gilet I bought right away in the store before I even read about the trend here, because I loved it at first sight.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Booties were a hard sell for me, too, and there's a reason -- I have proportionately short calves so I thought they visually shortened my legs, especially with skirts/ dresses. But I learned styling tricks here on YLF to challenge that idea, and I also discovered that booties are the most practical footwear both from a climate and a fit perspective (my heels are narrow so pumps generally fly off my feet without a strap). All in all, it was a great learning experience.

If you find a pair that is comfortable and matches some other important criteria, you'll probably discover that they make you feel much more up to date. Current footwear is on the the biggest bangs for your buck when it comes to looking modern.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

By the way, your board is lovely -- full of beautiful minimalist modern classic and slightly avant garde looks.

Sal

Veteran

I think with each year there are trends that talk to us, and trends that don't, either from a style or flattery perspective.

And there are things we always like - looking at your pinterest board I suspect gorgeous knitwear, quality flat leather shoes.

For me, I am always attracted to flattering dresses, just below the knee. I am attracted to bold patterns, and I also love stripes. These are constant in my wardrobe. I prefer straight jeans, but I have worn skinnies and boyfriend styles, and my next pair will be bootleg or flares. I am not one who likes too much romance or lace in my wardrobe, nor do I have lots of opportunities for such looks, so this trend I will probably by pass and enjoy on others.

I do think one or two items a year that feel a bit of stretch are a good idea, but you have to stay true to yourself as well.

jill58

Veteran

I just bought a pair of inexpensive wedge booties the other day--a small stretch for me. A woman standing next to me in the boot aisle was trying them on and said, "You should try these--they're really comfortable!" They looked great on her and when I tried them, they were perfect. I would have totally passed on them because my eye isn't used to the look but, seeing them on her, I realized immediately how useful they would be and that they looked more expensive than they were. Since they were from Target and were 20% off, it seemed like a low investment update to my boot collection. While I don't buy a lot of footwear at Target, I find it a good place to experiment with new styles.

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Emily K

(website)

Veteran

jill58--I recently sat down in a DSW to try on ALL the booties. I was amazed by how comfortable they were. You're right--a very comfortable style. I bought one inexpensive pair to try out but I have yet to wear them outside of the house.

jill58

Veteran

Emily--DSW is a perfect place to experiment! Put those booties on and go forth!

Gigi

Veteran

I don't buy a new-to-me type of clothing unless I feel drawn to it first. In other words, I don't force it. But I find that I warm up to trends faster now than I used to. A few years ago, it would take me a year or so; now it takes me maybe only a few months. I just watch the YLF board to see people's outfits, and that is what will warm me up to a trend. I think it's because seeing the same types of pieces over and over helps my eye adjust.

But some trends never catch on with me--for instance, I dislike pattern mixing, and that has been around for a while. I also dislike mixing more than one nonneutral color in an outfit.

Another thing I have done is go shopping just as a research expedition, and I will try new trends on in the fitting room, just to see how they look on me. I used to hate bootcut jeans, until I saw myself in them. Then I thought they looked nice on my body type, and I bought one pair that was cheap. Now I have one nicer pair and plan even on buying a pair of flares (really wide at the bottom) when I can find the right pair. So that is another thing you can do, just experiment without pressure to buy. It looks like you have done that with the booties at DSW.