Recently found out Sister is a hoarder with bedbugs :(

I want to explain why/apologize for being absent from the forum. I have just been through one of the hardest weeks of my life I knew my sister was messy, but I hadnt been inside her apt for nearly a year, she has always come out to my car when I take her for grocery shopping weekly. This past Thursday, she found out there was a bedbug problem in her apt complex and hers was among those who definitely had them!! Extermination company said everything must be moved appx 3 feet away from all the walls for part of the treatment. Now, I am absolutely phobic about them anyway, and then when I went inside to help her move her stuff I saw she couldve been featured on a tv episode of 'Hoarders' We thru out 21 big garbage bags of excess clothing (still leaving her a full closet and dresser full of items.) That took a full day. Then the next 2 days we threw out over 50, yup, 50, big garbage bags full of junk! Then my dear buddy Steve came over the next 2 days and helped me move several big pieces of furniture and an additional dozen or so big bags of junk. Yesterday she had the extermination treatment done, so late Tuesday night I needed to bring her to (and pay for) a hotel room where she could smoke and have her 2 cats stay until this morning. I have been leaving my clothing that I wore during this outside in the bitter cold, hoping that will kill any eggs I may have picked up there I have been reading bits and pieces here whenever I get the chance, seen many things I want to comment on, but am too brain-dead to offer anything worthwhile for now I know it will take weeks to get things back in place over there, but at least we wont be on a tight deadline anymore. Thanks for reading, if you got thru this....

12 years ago

bj1111

Veteran

HUGS!

so many issues at one time...always a shock to discover how ill a loved one can be.

we missed you!

ironkurtin

Yuck. You are an angel to your sister, I hope she appreciates you!

catgirl

AGH! Is this the same sister who has made abusive comments to you? Sounds like a lot going on.... My brother hauled his mattress down six flights of stairs and threw it in the street in NYC because of a single bedbug he spotted. *shudder*

Raisin

Oh, yuck, you are so kind to help her though. On a positive note, at least she was willing to get rid of so much of her crap....most hoarders would not part with that much stuff.

Anonymous

Oh gosh you have been such a big help to her. Sending you a hug. I actually thought about you the other day and wondered about your absense. At least the worst is out of the way now and you can slowly get back to normal. Take care.

pil

What a big job. She was fortunate to have your help. I hope the extermination works. From what I've read, bed bugs are a hearty sort and difficult to get rid of.

rachylou

Hugs! That's a yucko!

Cold won't do it. High high heat is required.

Mochi

Sorry, madre de biscuit That's really rough and you get so much credit and excellent karma for dealing with this.

I have no advice on hoarding. Just the fact that she was willing to let you throw things out makes it seem like her case is not too too bad (I know there's some irony to that).

As for the bedbugs, my siblings once almost started a bedbugs eradication venture, so I know that it's not the cold air but if you pop the clothes in the dryer and dry them on high heat for 20-30 minutes, that will absolutely kill off any eggs.

Hugs to you.

Isabel

BM, I just don't know how you find the energy. The two of you are already struggling so much with her lung cancer. I will bet that she is depressed. Though I know that doesn't help you at all. And God bless Steve !

Beth Ann

You have given so much of yourself, a sign of a generous spirit, for sure.

I hope you can find a little R&R for yourself in the next few days. It sounds like an exhausting ordeal and an ongoing issue.

Maybe you get the hotel room this time?

Diana

Omg you are a saint.. I would have been running away so fast at the mere mention of bedbugs.

Hope you get some much needed r&r and some pampering soon! You deserve it!

Thistle

You are a terrific sister! Big hugs. That was not easy, and that makes it all the more wonderful of you for helping her.

Ack, there is such an epidemic at the moment. You are an amazing sister. That is all I can say. Hugs.

Ingunn

(website)

You've been such a support to her, and she is lucky to have you. I hope you find time for yourself again soon.

Oh that just sounds horrific! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, but I'm so proud of you for braving it all and mustering every last ounce of patience and love for your sister. You're the kind of person that makes this world a better place. Tell Steve he's a hero too. : )

Mander

Ugh. Bed bugs are such a nuisance. I once had them in my apartment, which was in a rather sketchy building run by a slumlord lawyer (so he knew exactly what he could get away with) who refused to do any extermination. Fortunately I was still living in the same city as my parents at the time, and Dad and I were able to move all the furniture and successfully treat the place ourselves. They are voracious little bastards, though -- in just a couple of days I got over 200 bites! We also encountered them in a hotel in Chicago last summer, although we only got a couple of bites and managed not to bring them home with us. I downloaded a really helpful book about ways to get rid of them -- PM me if you want a copy!

I'm glad that she allowed you to throw stuff away. My aunt is a borderline hoarder and virtually every surface in her house is piled up with stuff (papers, books, knick-knacks, craft projects...). Fortunately she doesn't hoard stuff that is truly trash, but it can be hard to get her to throw away food, even if it is long since expired. I worry that I am starting to develop hoarding behavior myself, although I think I am getting better at not feeling the need to extract the maximum possible value out of everything.

The other thing I want to say is that even though your sister seems to have a hoarding problem, bedbugs are not necessarily a symptom of being unclean. I think this stigma has a lot to do with the recent increase in their numbers -- people don't want to seek help because they don't want others to think they are dirty, and then the population gets out of control.

Hugs to you and your family, in any case!

Glory

So sorry to hear about this, it must be completely exhausting. You are definately paying it forward. I hope you soon get a chance to relax and be kind to yourself.

HeleenH

That must have been very tiring, physically as well as emotionally. You are one great sister!

biscuitsmom

Thank you all SOOO much! I really appreciate all the kind words and advice I have only a moment, but will write more tomorrow or Monday, when I can get back here- love you all!

Lyn D.

Gosh- I do hope you can find some time to do something nice for yourself for a change, and re-charge your batteries after all this!

Agnes

Active Member

If you dont have a dryer you can put the clothes in a black grabage bag in the hottest sun you can find, for a day or two.. my friend's english boyfriend got bed bugs and had to do this with all his suits.

And I forgot to say, I am sorry how difficult a time you are having too.

Jaime

You are amazing for helping your sister in a very challenging situation. I hope things get easier for you and your sister from here.

lyn*

Ugh! I have only had a few experiences with people who hoard, and I am glad your sister let you help sort out a few things.

As for the bed bugs, the freezing should kill them (I toss my stuff outside at -50 for a week or two); or you can stick them into the dryer if they are dryer-able items. I err on the side of caution - if I have any inkling that they're not all dead, I'd rather toss.

deb

I have no words except I am sorry you had to go through this.

Katiepea

That's rough. You are a very kind sister. It sounds like in a way the critter issue was at least a catalyst to force a good clean out. I hope it makes your sister feel a little better about being inside her home.

Thank you all so much! She had a recheck, and everything was ok, TG! I *so* appreciate all your kind words and advice.....

So pleased to read this update! Hope your sister can enjoy her home now.

Category