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Signs of age or wear as a style statement...

Runcarla

Veteran

While watching a YouTube video on style for Kibbe types, the moderator made a remark about some types (Ex. Classics) looking their best in clothes that looked ‘new’ and used saturated vs faded colour in a garment as her example. She went on to explain that other types (Ex. Naturals) looked great in worn looks. That got me thinking about what my tolerance is for signs of age or wear in a garment, and if I would purchase a distressed garment or prefer to do the breaking in myself.

Although I have never bought a ripped or torn item, I recently chose a pair of pants in a faded colour with a frayed hem and a ‘lived in feel’ to the fabric. Previously all my jeans were brought home as dark wash, and acquired the patina of age the hard way! In 2017 I fell hard for frayed hems, and very few jeans escaped my shears! Furthermore, some of my favourite clothes are thrifted, and the crispness of any hard structure has mellowed to a softer shape (while fostered in someone else’s closet!)

I don’t like holes in garments, and my tolerance for fading in cotton knit sweaters and jersey t shirts isn’t as high as my acceptance of wear on jeans or leather items. Also, I like my footwear to look polished and in good condition. Faded canvas sneakers is okay, but scuffed leather or peeling rubber is not. Sometimes, as I fold laundry and put away my clothes, I say to myself ‘Angie would say it’s time to retire this item’, but back in the closet or drawer it goes! I do edit out the more tired looking items when I do the big annual fall edit, but in between edits I dispatch only what is truly destroyed.

So, I’m thinking that I want some ‘softness’ in my style, but since I’m not a ruffles kind of girl, nor a fan of a lot of fabric or ‘‘flowy’ looks I get the illusion of softness from faded colours and soft structure.

Does this make sense? What about you? Do you feel more yourself in gently worn clothes or do you prefer fresh and pristine? (There is no right/wrong answer, BTW!)

General

41 replies

Latest reply was from cindysmith

Roxanna

Veteran

i totally get this - this is the allure of cargo olive as well, I think. interestign question you p'osem Carla. i liek new and saturated items on myself - but that goes with my Urban Luxe moniker i think.

Style Fan

Veteran

I feel best in clothes that have put in some miles. I don`t mind a few holes in my T-shirts if they are tiny ones. I love ripped distressed denim. Some of my sweaters have small holes. The cuffs of my denim shirt are frayed. The apparent wear of my clothing gives an interesting texture to my outfit. At least that is what I tell myself.
I watch a lot of YouTube videos about Kibbe and other fashion ideas. I was so hoping that I would be a natural. Sadly, after doing the Kibbe exercises and all my research, I realized I am not a Natural. I have gotten over my disappointment.
I have embraced the Dramatic Classic, and I think it is working for me. I am doing it my way—a RATE Dramatic Classic. I will write a post on it someday.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Carla, this makes a lot of sense to me. The slight fade on denim and/or leather can work well with your curls and your coming-in-grey -- it's a gently softened look that harmonizes well with your overall appearance and juxtaposes well with the crisp stripes, whites, and other preppy elements of your style. You may crave it for the balance it provides, either visually or in terms of physical comfort.

I tend to prefer items that are relatively saturated and crisp/ new. Having said that, I do easily tolerate faded or very lightly distressed! (i.e. no actual holes/ rips) blue denim and (possibly) the same in a leather jacket, although in practice, my sole leather jacket is not faded, but is already a mid-blue vs. a darker blue.

The softer tones work with my colouring and hair. But if I wear exclusively soft items I feel uncomfortable as a rule. I like to have a bit of structure in an outfit and a bit of contrast.

Examples of my most "faded" and softened/ distressed items below, plus the leather jacket, which is not distressed/ faded/ aged in any way, but looks "softer" due to the colour.

Western chambray shirt in vintage indigo

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Faded Blue Leather Jacket

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Citizens of Humanity Emerson Crop Slim Fit Boyfriend Jeans

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HIGH Waist Button Fly Slim Wide Leg Jeans

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Point Sur seaside pant in cotton twill

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celia

Veteran

I am more on the team new or used saturated ( I am classic dresser mainly).
I have no tolerance for stains, as small and invisible they may be for others.
Pilling on wool items is my next low tolerance item, I try to cut them and for the most part I am successful.
Funnily enough, I wear my shoes to the ground.

MsMaven

Veteran

I haven't ever thought about this distinction, but it makes sense to me. I prefer that blue jeans not be pre-aged, but it's hard to find any that aren't these days. I have learned to live with frayed hems, but I do trim those long threads every so often. I like fabrics to look fairly new and with some body--not faded and limp, although I've tried that look before. I don't like clothes to look obviously new though.

And I do flop back and forth between more classic and soft dramatic than natural, but I live more of a natural life these days.

This is one more factor to think about before I orders something online. I much prefer to check out the feel and look of fabrics on the rack--too many times I buy an item online and find out that while a nice color and style, the fabric just isn't what I want to wear.

Anonymous

I think I'm in between. I don't want obvious distressing or anything rugged, nor am I "crisp". I like my clothes to be soft to go with my curves, coloring, and wavy hair. I seem to be a TR, and don't think I have any Natural- except in personality!

SarahD8

Veteran

I am with you on Team Patina. Worn-in, BUT in good condition. It's a balance. (I like faded and softened jeans, but no rips or holes for me!)

I have whatever the intellectual equivalent of a Poison Eye is about Kibbe (sorry! you do you if you are into that! I just cannot bring myself to engage with the system!) so not sure how my preferences relate there.

One thing I'm interested in getting more into is visible mending. Has to be done with a real sense of craft though.

Jules

Veteran

Hmmm very interesting! I realize your point was about types who wear worn items, but it got me thinking about it as a quality & fit issue. Although I have not researched my kibbe type I do resonate with "natural". As for worn clothes, faded linen in a classic cut is a yes. A hole in a thin cheap cotton tee is a no, but a faded thick cotton tee? Often doable. A faded, maybe not super current cut of denim jacket will still look great if it's a perfect fit. And so on.

LaPed

Veteran

I can definitely tell when I'm wearing an outfit that's too crisp -- like a white oxford shirt with tailored dark rinse jeans. Swap out the dark jeans for a faded pair, or some olive chinos, and it's all good. Or make sure to wear roughed-up canvas sneakers with the original outfit, anything to make it just a bit more RATE.

rachylou

Veteran

That’s a really interesting thought, esp in terms of Kibbe and body shape.

In terms of taste and personality, I’m definitely RATE. But I feel I *can* be *sharp*... not necessarily in terms of line, but in newness and tailored shaping. I don’t like things that have lost their shape, although I’m fine with ‘shapeless’ cuts. I like faded colour but not muddy colour; I feel I look best in clear, saturated colour whether or not the dye has faded.

It’s a little funny... I quite love new things... it’s that new-car-smell deal. However, that aesthetic based on newness really rubs me the wrong way. Esp in architecture and decor... like those little strip malls they put up in a couple of months, where the architectural detail come from stuccoed-over foam glue-ons. Some people love that. Some people related to me love that. The thrill of a new Subway and the tank top they’ll wear into it, lol. I like it. Can’t really live it.

Anonymous

I think my tolerances are pretty similar to yours.

After many years of the classic item in the classic color the inclusion of more modern treatments and variations on traditional gives the look a heartbeat.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Carla, this makes sense. You're describing a form of RATE (Rough Around The Edges) integrity that is best understood on a continuum with POLISH on the other side. You can slide up and down the continuum.

I'm on Team Fresh-Pristine-Crisp-New-Saturated-Polished - 95% of the time. Opposite to many of you, by the sounds of it!

That said, I wear faded denim, raw denim edges, and faded utility pants. I am almost exclusively in sneakers. My hair is loosely structured these days. And I can keep my items a VERY long time!

Bergdorf Goodman

J Brand Jeans Classic Light-Wash Jean Jacket

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Banana Republic

High-Rise Wide-Leg Jean

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Le Crop Colorblock Raw Hem Jeans

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HIGH Waist Crop Wide Leg Jeans

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Vince Zip Ankle Utility Pants

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nemosmom

Veteran

Another Team Patina here!

I definitely feel 'off' in an outfit that is too finished, or patterns that are too sharp or geometric. While I was going through my holding zone (post to follow) I found a fitted knit boatneck top that I can't figure out how to wear. When paired with a flowy skirt it felt too precious, with chinos it felt too business-y, BUT with a looser fit/cuffed jean, released hem jean, and wrinkled linen jogger it worked and felt great! I think even a handkerchief hem skirt could have worked in place of the flowy one.

I need some undone-ness or lived-in-ness, even if it's with accessories like a patina leather belt, layered jewelry, or tousled hair. Indiana Jones is one of my style 'avatars', but I draw the line at being dusty/dirty

FWIW, I'm not sure what kibbe I am supposed to be. I test as flam. gamine, but I am too meaty and tall to be gamine. I am too soft to be dramatic, too angular to be classic or romantic, so I suspect I am natural or flam. natural.

JAileen

Veteran

Showing wear in casual clothes is fine. I prefer to wear out the clothes myself, rather than buying already worn out things, unless they’re from the thrift store. I haven’t deliberately bought things with holes in them, and I don’t care for the undone hem trend. On the other hand, my dressy clothes have to be pristine.

Sal

Veteran

I find this an interesting topic and I can see why some people suit polished, crisp new looking pieces whilst others suit worn in, soft, older looking pieces. And many of us, myself included like to mix the two components.

I lean to the worn look (but like JAileen I mostly like to wear my own pieces in rather than buy them pre-worn). And I am a bit 'snobby' about it - a worn classic jacket is fine but a worn polyester top is not. This is where I think natural fibres show their class - wool, silk, cotton, linen, denim, leather etc all look fine with some wear whereas polyester and nylon look often pretty awful.

Just as well I don't mind some wear as I often am a little hard on my clothing - funnily enough not so much my shoes.

Gaylene

Veteran

Like Jules, I’d say my tolerance for the signs of use depends on the item and the way it fits into a person’s overall sense of style. My personal poison eye comes out in full force when the signs of use seem disconnected from the rest of the garment (random rips and weird fade marks in an obviously new pair of jeans?) or in the overall appearance of the person wearing the piece (a polished newscaster with a “mended” hole in her jacket sleeve?) I suspect it’s the forced incongruity which bothers me as much as anything because I have a similar reaction to a $1000 price tag on pair of canvas shoes.

I do appreciate, though, the wit and confidence of combining a well-worn item with a more pristine one—faded jeans with a crisp white shirt, an aged leather handbag with a sharp coat, or a well-worn cashmere sweater with newer dress— especially when the used item shows signs of the care and attention given to a well-loved piece.

And, without getting into the Kibbe arena, can I just say, as someone who read his original ideas and found his appreciation of the diversity of female beauty a breath of fresh air, most of what is attributed to him is completely at odds with the book I read. Kibbe is about line and structure—and learning how those principles can be used on differently shaped bodies to bring out their unique beauty. In my case, as a curly-haired Dramatic, his ideas helped me find a very sharply defined, geometric cut that suited both my hair texture and my angular, yang bone structure. I can certainly wear well-worn pieces from closet, but that “faded softness” needs to be done in a way which is congruent with my bone structure and angularity to look “right” for me.

SarahD8

Veteran

Oh yes! Gaylene, now I remember that you have talked about the usefulness of Kibbe before and what you said made a lot of sense. Sorry for bringing that all up again. Will try to remember in future that this has all been asked and answered, as it were.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Sarah, I am with you on Kibbe — I don’t think it helps that I tried to figure out what type I am a couple of times and failed to get any kind of helpful answer!

I like subtle fading and distressing on certain items. I hate pilling and I’m not fond of holes either. I don’t like to wear visibly scuffed shoes or worn-down heels unless they vibe is decidedly rugged (ie cowboy boots). So I feel like my tolerance of visible wear is moderate. If I wear one item that’s got some patina, I tend to want to elevate it a bit with another item that’s a bit more polished.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Interesting. I’ve been thinking about this a bit because I’ve been feeling a lot of attraction lately towards a more “vintage” look. Part of that is patina/wear. But part of it can also be expressed in pattern or colour. Favouring soft vintage prints over bright stripes for example. This is one of the reasons I’m off stripes at the moment - too crisp and fresh looking. I prefer ombré - soft fading.

Gaylene

Veteran

Hey, Sarah, I totally get the intellectual poison eye for Kibbe. Like every other attempt to “help” women find a workable personal style tool— color analysis, body shape images, personality tests, or whatever—different approaches work for different needs. That’s why I like Angie’s constant emphasis on spending the time doing the hard work of assessing one’s needs and closet and staying patient while keeping ourselves open to trying new ways of working with our clothes.

Anonymous

This is a very interesting topic , and one that I can identify with from a few perspectives . For starters , it makes me laugh that I am inordinately attracted to Golden Goose sneakers, and if my budget allowed would absolutely be buying a pair ( or two ) ......when less than a year ago I became disgusted with the look of my well worn (and getting dirty looking ) Stan Smiths and replaced them right then and there in the mall. I’m with those here who love distressed denim, leather , and cotton sweatshirts and tshirts. I too like to mix my formal tailored and special pieces with something RATE to take the perfect edge off . Footwear and handbags fall into this category too , but only for casual wear . A worn combat boot is me thing , but a worn-down or scuffed dress boot - no thanks . There is a fine line in my mind between poorly groomed/dressed and intentional tension . I know very , very little about Kibbe as I always struggle with identifying my body shape ....but YouTube might be worth checking out .

For you , Carla , this makes absolute sense to me . It follows along with I always think of as your “Gentlewoman” style .

Joy

Veteran

I agree with what you said Runcarla, although I have never thought about it. My favorite thrifted pieces a slightly worn looking leather jackets. O e was a man’s brown leather bomber jacket. One of my sons really loved it and talked me into letting him have it. I also have thrifted faded but no holes jeans and denim jackets. I like some faded graphic tees. Like you I want softer clothes as frills and ruffles look all wrong unless they are a bit architectural.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thank you for the ongoing YLF support, Gaylene.

Can we talk about SOFTESS for a minute

FWIW, SOFT is one of my five style describing adjectives because I do not like wearing hard-edged looks. I create softness through colour, flow, fluidity, romance, playfulness, and non-black neutrals.

slim cat

Veteran

I like slightly faded colors in certain pieces because of my pale coloring with very little contrast. Faded purple bottom down, jeans with fringe and some destruction/small holes ( I've minimized/closed some bigger ones ), faded soft black t-shirt - those things I love to wear.
However for me it's more about soft colors and less about RATE. Worn items with obvious destruction require some polished shoes ( that's a challenge by itself - I'm hard on shoes ) and probably bags, jackets, belts in a fresh/new/exiting style. So I chose happy medium - some faded/worn pieces mixed with some minimal/classic or sporty ones.

Kibbe system still confuses me a bit - I'm into more vertical lines with some dramatic inclination but I'm a bit short ( 5'4" ) and have somewhat round face. Dramatic?..Flamboyant Gamine?.. Eventually I'll figure it out .

DonnaF

Veteran

I think I have elements of both classic and natural. For work, pristine is essential or at least a goal, lol. Outside work I am more natural although i don't like rips or holes, but distressing and fading is okay and a raw hem is completely fine. I still feel like I should come by distressing, fading, rips, and holes honestly rather than purchasing those things ready made, so my jeans have minimal fading and distressing.

Runcarla

Veteran

I want to thank everyone who honoured me with a response to this thread. Your thoughtful answers provide insight and words with which to articulate a style evolution I have sensed coming on since winter 2019/2020. I was anticipating the experience of travel would provide the impetus, however fate had other ideas! Though diminished in magnitude, the vector’s direction is not changed.

I am just a dabbler in the Kibbe system and not heavily invested. The part I love is the inclusiveness of diverse forms of beauty. I balk at a recipe or formula on how any one individual should dress. So, apologies to David Kibbe if I’ve misapplied his theories and work.

In the past 3 months I’ve read how YLFabber’s have voiced a desire to incorporate ‘softness’ into their style. Angie incorporates it via ‘colour, flow, fluidity, romance’ and Brooklyn identifies ‘vintage’ including softer prints and and the patina of wear. Joy sees softness in worn leather and naturally faded items, or as La Pedestrienne notes ‘just a little bit RATE.’ I really like Angie’s continuum ‘with Polished on one side and RATE on the other.’

Stylefan and Nemosmom I choose to take with a grain of salt the results of any test - which would slot me as an ‘Autumn’ and ‘Natural’. Why can’t a 5 ft. 7 in. redhead be a ‘Summer’ and ‘Dramatic Gamine’? (Happy Tomboy who likes red, lilac, olive, beige, white, black, cropped pants, shorts, t-shirts, puffers, and hats?)

Suz astute as always, your first paragraph rings true.

Ms Maven that is why I so miss the tactile experience of B&M shopping.

Sal brilliant observation regarding natural fibres.

Vildy

Veteran

Great idea for a thread. I've read every response. It's all worming its way into my brain. Seems like a just under the surface missing piece for me that might tie together what I like. I take really excellent care of my clothing but at the same time, I want them to soften up and move with me and lay against my body in some way, at some points. I have loads of trouble with casual looks but at the same time feel uncomfortable with items that look too pert or even too new(ly acquired). I like my clothing to look as though I've had it forever but without anything like rips or fraying. I have a very tactile relationship to my clothing and I once completely wore off the corduroy pile on the front of my thighs. I wore that anyway and so I'm okay with one piece only looking worn. I sometimes think I lean toward Soft Classic or in my mind Softened Up Classic. .

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Great topic and responses. On the Polish - RATE continuum I definitely place myself on the RATE end. I have high tolerance for certain types of wear, but have never intentionally worn distressed jeans for example. (I do have one pair with a small rip that fit perfectly and I keep meaning to put a patch on it. I prefer patches to rips.) Kibbe wise, I do think a classic could find a way to be RATE but do see that it might be more natural for a natural . I like what Gaylene said about Kibbe. The system is meant as a tool rather than the answer to all style questions.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Vildy, I identify with that. I want a lived in but not worn look.

Carla, I’ve actually been thinking about a new theme along these lines. You’ve inspired me to post about it. (But not today!)

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