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SHUT UP!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Stacy London says SHUT UP a lot. It's a signature phrase of hers, and quite endearing. It makes us laugh! It's exuberant and emphatic and no one takes offense at all. Quite the opposite. We love it when she says it and that includes me

Here's the strange bit. I never tell anyone to "shut up", be it in a fun jest or in an angry way. I was brought up to NOT say shut up at all because it's rude. Yet, it's completely great when Stacy says it. I also have friends who say "shut up" in a similar way and it's so adorable it hurts.

But out of my mouth - it just doesn't work! It was even jarring for me to type the words shut up. I feel rude when I say these words no matter what. How weird are these opposing feelings???

I guess some habits just stick and it feels unnatural to change them. Although you judge others who say so called rude things, completely differently.

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26 replies

Latest reply was from Ornella

Queen Mum

Veteran

You're right.. some things just don't sound right coming out of our own mouths..and that's okay. We have to be true to ourselves. Your proper, well-mannered way of speaking is just as precious and endearing as one who latches on to the latest cultural slang.

I do find that with 4 teenage boys, I tend to err on the side of snark and have picked up some of their slang, but I'm cautious of where I'm using it. For example, one of my kids say's "crap out" a lot. It means "breaking down" in a sense. For instance, if my hairdryer were on the fritz, he would say it's "crapping out" I have picked up that phrase and use it around my house, but would never say it in front of anyone I don't know well or of an older generation than myself.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You are wise as ever, Kim.

And I bet with four big boys at home, you can't help but pick up their lingo. It cracks me up, actually :). Your situational discretion is key. And admirable!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I can't say "shut up" either -- although I laugh to think of the one time I did. I lost my temper a little one time years ago when we were on a long car trip with my stepsons and they were fighting. I finally lost it and snapped, "Shut up... please!" My husband and the boys laughed at me because I couldn't even snap at them without throwing in the polite "please."

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That's hilarious, Janet.

catgirl

Veteran

"Shut up" always reminds me of Elaine from Seinfeld yelling "GET OUT!" and shoving people. In that context, I kind of like it. Otherwise, I do think it's a bit jarring, and I'm not the least bit ladylike.

A Southern accent might make it sound a lot better - everything seems to sound sweeter in a Georgia drawl.

DeniseP

I agree with you Angie. To tell someone to shut up was a no-no when I was coming up.

Una, you are too funny! I'm from Georgia and it still sounds the same to me, even with a southern drawl added -- which I don't have -- a bit jarring, unladylike and just plumb rude...

kellygirl

Veteran

How funny. I have a hard time saying it too--it just wasn't allowed when I was growing up. I hear people say it all of the time these days and it still makes me cringe.
@Kim: I picked up the very same term and it accidentally popped out of my mouth when I was explaining to one of DD's teacher about how the copy machine "crapped out" in the midst of a major copy/sort extravaganza. I was mortified after it came out and the teacher BURST out in laughter because she couldn't believe that came out of my mouth. I guess that made two of us!

MsMary

Veteran

I'm with you, Angie! I love it when Stacey says it, but from anybody else it makes me cringe.

We had a talking parrot for some years, and Skipper would pick up almost any word or phrase, ESPECIALLY those that had a lot of emotion behind them. So while we had Skipper, the absolute iron clad rule was "no cussing, and no saying 'shut up!'" When the bird screeched too loudly, we'd say "stop it!" instead of "shut up!" Because the last thing we wanted was for the bird to pick up "shut up!"

Skipper doesn't live here any more, but I still have an aversion to "shut up!"

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I have a friend who uses the phrase "shut up" all the time, as Stacy does, and I find it adorable in her.

But for myself, it would feel awkward or false. Or rude, if I were saying it in irritation.

Janet, I am laughing because I have done exactly what you did!

And Angie, I must admit I was shocked to see the subject header with your name beside it because the phrase seemed THAT out of character for you!

Echo

Veteran

I agree. It is somehow cute when Stacey says it, but I never use it myself, and I've taught the kids not to use it, either. Maybe it is that funny emphasis on the UP that makes it more tolerable in people who use is as a signature expression, but even so, it just isn't in my vocabulary.

MaryK, that's hilarious about the bird! I can only imagine what some birds pick up! I'd imagine it's similar to when a toddler swears and the parents blush and insist the child must have heard it at the babysitter's house!

Ariadne

Veteran

This is such a cute and funny thread. Angie, I love your kind and proper way of speaking (well, writing). It's part of what makes you "you". And I love everyone else's stories of their own personal vernaculars. The way we speak plays such a big part in revealing our character! It's so interesting how something can be endearing coming from one person and awkward or even offensive from another. I have friends who never swear at all and others who swear all the time in a way that seems perfectly natural and inoffensive (to me--my Granny would beg to differ).

I do find I tend to absorb and start to unconsciously mimic the speech patterns and vocabulary of people I spend a lot of time around. When I notice myself doing it, it jars me! I have a cousin who moved abroad and who has picked up the accent and slang of his new country--it still throws me off when I talk to him and he says "bollocks" or something similar in his new British accent. He doesn't even notice it, of course.

I really have to watch my language with a 3 year old in the house... yikes!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

This was a fun read and thanks for your thoughts. I'm not alone in my perceptions, which was in itself very interesting. There are many subtle differences between British and American English and I am still learning to adapt to them after being here for 9 years. I thought that my perceptions about "shut up" were cultural, but apparently they are not.

Kelly and Mary, your stories crack me up. To Ariadne's point, it's far to easy too pick up words and sayings that are NOT you.

Suz, I'm glad that your perception was what it was! Your shock at my thread title was true to my character.

Ariadne, it's WONDERFUL to have you back on the forum. You rock and I have missed you. Thanks for your kind words

The swearing thing is interesting too. I do not swear at all. I can't even repeat those words in conversation when I am directly quoting someone - it feels *that* wrong coming out of my mouth. Yet I have friends who comically swear all the time and it's hilarious - both lasses and blokes. It's part of who they are and I don't love them any less. It just works. It's sincere, I guess. Swearing out of my mouth is not sincere, and that's why it does not work.

The same way half tucking does not work for my style. I tried to semi tuck my jumper into my harm pants last night - we had a dinner party here - and it just didn't work. Greg saw my failed semi tuck attempt and said: "NO. Don't semi tuck. It doesn't work on you. You are too dressy and neat (as in tidy) looking for that to look good. It looks contrived".

I love my at home fashion stylist

Jem

Veteran

I love it when Stacy says "shut up", too. It's cute when it comes out of her mouth. I can never say it. That was a big no no in my house growing up!

I'm glad you have an in-home stylist. Mine went off to college this year. ;-( (DH isn't so good at it-lol)

Irene

Veteran

I've said that while teaching... about a million times lol

It's funny though, in Spanish you use that expression as well when you want to introduce a new topic/idea that just came to your mind/you just remembered. You repeat it twice 'Calla, calla', and then you add whatever anecdote you want to explain. It actually has a positive connotatoin, as if the speaker has something important/interesting/fun to say so you shut up and expect a good laugh (it's normally done in casual/relaxed situations and with unimportant issues, like gossip or a TV programme).

Would be like your 'wait, wait, did you hear about the whole Jolie-Pitt thing? Now, that is shocking'

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Shut up is commonly used in a (terrible)TV Programme in the UK called The Only Way is Essex, it is used as a way to say you're joking or that can't be true
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLW3_Ieckm4

I almost had a coronary because you had typed SHUT UP.

Ariadne

Veteran

Angie, you made my day! Thank you. I missed you too <3

Greg is priceless. I love hearing about his fashion advice.

Lyn D.

Veteran

Yes, when I was growing up it was considered rude, and until I had teenagers I never said it. (!)
I am ashamed to say that sometimes in a Menopausal moment these days it has slipped-out. It does get noticed because it is unusual coming from the daughter of someone whose worst 'swear-word' was 'Bunnyrabbit' .

Laurinda

Veteran

In Ms. London's case it is part of her persona, and she never seems to say it in a hurtful way.

I will date myself here, but one grade school teacher used to charge us a small fine for saying "shut up" in the classroom -- in the days when that was considered about the most vulgar thing 8 year-olds would ever say. I try to avoid cussing, because I want to save those words so that they will still have an effect if I use them. Once f... has made it in into one's vocabulary as an adjective, adverb, and expletive, what do you have left for those times you REALLY need something dramatic?

The milder euphemisms or mispronunciations such as 'cheese and rice' can come in handy.

Scarlet

Veteran

I think that when Stacy says it, it's like an exclamation, along the lines of OMG! She is not saying it _to_ anyone, so it's about her own excitement and not about putting someone else down. I think that's why it is cute and not offensive. I did have to click on this thread to find out what would make Angie say "shut up"

Personally, my daddy had a potty mouth, and I embarrassed my parents many times because I just absorbed the essential meaning of the words and not the concept that they were inappropriate in polite conversation. I have retained a comfort with bad language but I have the filter to only use it in certain contexts. I did apparently shock my DH early on in our relationship when I was very frustrated with my cell phone at one point and said something colorful about it. I guess I felt very comfortable with him, but he wasn't expecting that side of me. I feel bad admitting this to all you polite ladies.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Well, also, when you speak, it sounds pretty English, as opposed to American English. That affects how "shut up" sounds when coming out of your mouth. Like, my mom (who is English) can use the word "naughty" to great effect, but it just sounds goofy when I try to use it, with my west-coast Canadian accent. But you should hear how funny she sounds when she tries to say "dude", a word we use quite a lot here.

I don't think the term "shut up" belongs in your vocabulary. It's not part of your style. I too was brought up to believe that "shut up" is rude, and was taught not to use it. Although I personally am uncomfortable using the phrase, I agree that Stacy London and others have mastered the use of it in a perfectly cute way -- almost as punctuation.

Anonymous

I can't say "Shut up" or even hear it used and feel comfortable. The same with swearing. I've never been around people who used either one and was brought up to think it was terribly rude. I wonder what it is about Stacy that she can get away with it without being offensive.

rachylou

Veteran

The question becomes: What do you do to express amazement/excitement/enthusiasm?

When I was a little girl, I was all about being proper and polite. A little girl full of sugar and spice, sweet and quiet. It irked the *heck* out of my mom. Lol.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I actually think saying shut up is much ruder than random variety cursing. The difference being that is it directed AT someone in a not nice way, whereas cursing is usually not. Now, where cursing is directed at another, all bets are off, and the gloves come off by then too lol.
Of course the way Stacy uses it is not directed toward anyone but more of a catch phrase.

Kari

Veteran

With Stacy London, It's the WAY she says it that makes it inoffensive - you could substitute it with a similar quirky exclamation ("Get outta town!" "Well, shut the front door!" "Bless my knickers!") that expresses surprise and pleasure. It's not mean spirited.

But certain expressions just don't feel right rolling off our tongues, though they sound natural coming from other people.

Deborah

Veteran

Great read! I'm not familiar with Stacey London but I recall Elaine from Seinfeld saying this in possibly a similar way:). I don't use the expression and I don't swear. Our son is at an age where kids are using language at school and we are working hard to explain why that language is not ok. I am rarely offended by others language but I do tend to ask myself why it's necessary and wonder if there might be equally funny or appropriate words that could be used instead.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

My heart skipped just reading the thread title! I honestly thought someone cracked your account Angie!

Now I'm off to read all the comments as the topic sounds really intriguing... and, just for the record - I cannot say "shut up" either, even if I'm considering to use it in humorous situations. Just doesn't feel right, or should I rephrase it - if I say it, it makes my mouth (and soul) feel just as bad as the ill fitting clothes.