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Showing up in the same outfit

Synne

Veteran

So, this happened today. After starting to dress more deliberately trendy, I have noticed other people with almost identical outfits as me. Today I wore white cropped jeans, a navy breton stripe tee and a lightwash denim jacket. Surely such a safe and classic outfit combination that I happened to walk past a woman dressed exactly the same! I was struck by how conflicted this made me feel. I wanted at the same time to compliment her on her great style (!), but also run and hide because GOSH how embarrassing and uncreative. Haha!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Does this happen to you? Do you mind, and how does it make you feel? Pic added just for laughs.

Thanks for all the interesting replies on my last post!

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33 replies

Latest reply was from Jaime

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Mortifying! But funny.

Toban

Veteran

Such a classic and current style, I can imagine many people wearing similar outfits. The individualism is in the details, such as jewelry, bags and shoes. Throwing something a bit unexpected can make this uniquely you.

anchie

Veteran

I am in public transport and just saw 3 women dressed in black skinny jeans, olive military jacket and white sneakers.

Liesbeth

Veteran

Hah! Personally, this is what is probably driving me away from neutrals right now and towards some newfound excentricity. I bought a light grey cocoon coat last winter and when I was in the shopping street with my high waisted jeans, white sneakers, grey coat and beanie, I felt I looked completely interchangeable with so many other thirtysomething urbanites :). The same has happened with my plaid flannel per your picture
I’m a difficult person in this regard, I like to look trendy and part of the ‘cool crowd’ (haha) but I get turned off by looking too much like a cliche.
Your outfit sounds very trendy classic so you’ll have to determine yourself if you mind seeing it on others.

Anonymous

It doesn't happen to me, but classics (aside from lbds) just don't work for my body, coloring, or personality. But, I do share a few of the same things as some of the other fabbers -but I think we all do

Brooklyn

Veteran

To me this raises that big question: why do we want to wear what everyone else is wearing (ie trending) but at the same time pride ourselves on looking unique.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I try not to worry too much about what others are wearing. If I’m happy with my outfit, for whatever reason (silhouette, colour, vibe etc), whether it’s fashion forward, trending, current, classic, retro or whatever, that’s good enough for me.

LaPed

Veteran

Oh, I totally know this feeling. I really dislike looking like "everyone else", but I also don't want to appear completely out of touch or off in my own world. It's a balancing act, doing your own thing but giving a nod to the zeitgeist. I definitely loved my wide-leg crops more when no one around me was wearing them yet, because they stood out against all the skinnies. I still enjoy them; I just have to style them more creatively.

I think Liesbeth is right that developing a palette and knowing your best colours can help. Thirty-somethings especially seem to wear A LOT of neutrals (safe, easy to find, a lot of us are rebuilding professional wardrobes post-kids and don't want anything too crazy), and adding one signature colour to an otherwise neutral look is an easy way to make it your own.

Bijou

Veteran

The only thing worse is when you are both wearing the same statement dress. One of the young girls at work has the same mauve dress as me, we just laugh if we are twinning for the day and tell our colleagues that it was planned.

Runcarla

Veteran

This has happened to me before. Especially common with striped mariner tops - same look as another, but different items. I just make eye contact, and say: "Great outfit! You look fab!" There are two other women in my community with red berets like mine. Whenever we cross paths, both wearing the same hat, one of us will say "Nice hat!"

True story. In the late '60s my maternal G'ma was MOG. She picked out a lovely pistachio green dress at the local department store of her small town and was quite happy with her choice. The MOB tried and discarded many dresses, and eventually found her dress on a shopping trip to New York City. You guessed it! They showed up at the wedding in identical dresses!

kkards

Veteran

nope. doesn't bother me at all....after all i can't help it if so many people want to dress like me! LOL....

Liesbeth

Veteran

Omg runcarla, that story!
It’s true: wearing the same statement item is worse. At one point three of my coworkers owned the same olive leopard print cardigan from cks... luckily that’s never happened to me

Joy

Veteran

LOL, Runcarla, that would be a nightmare and the photos! This has not happened to me but I don’t think wearing a striped tee with white Capri pants and denim jacket would be unexpected. Wear your version best. Wear sequined shoes..

Anonymous

I like Toban's response. The elements might have been similar, but you make it your own statement by adding elements that are uniquely you. I'm sure you looked GREAT.

smittie

Veteran

Haha YES!! I am not embarrassed but I DO feel like I’m uncreative.

So what do you do about this? Keep researching and trying to find your own style. Come up with a signature that is your own and give yourself a break: we are social animals and we will tend to like a lot of the same things a lot of the time .

The Cat

Veteran

Well, those are clothes that MANY people have, so I am not surprised. But how about your footwear and accessories--didn't they set you apart?

A few times in my life, I have seen someone in the same dress as me. It doesn't bother me if I feel good in my outfit (and I normally do--otherwise I would be wearing something else ).

Personal style/styling is important. So while we might wear some identical items, the styling will usually be different--e.g. with or without a belt, tucked or untucked top, different footwear and different accessories.

The Cat

Veteran

By the way, I very much agree with Brooklyn's comment.

I also like kkards' response. And when I have seen someone wearing an item similar to mine, I have usually smiled and said something like, "Nice to see another one with great taste."

I guess the photos of the MOG and MOB in identical outfits (related by Runcarla) were gorgeous. I actually think that was a cute idea.

rachylou

Veteran

Omg. That pic! Lol.

I sorta feel it depends. A room full of jeans and tees, I don’t think that’s terrible. It’s so basic, so classsic. And you get variation in the jeans and tees.

But when it’s something really trendy or hip... right, we call a group of hipsters an ‘embarrassment.’ Like a top knot and red buffalo plaid. Actually, the worst is a group of guys all wearing the miniature fedora at the craft brewpub...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That photo -- and Carla's story -- are hilarious!

I think Toban's right. The goddess is in the details. Each of us makes it a bit different in how we wear it.

I also think when your style is fairly classic, yet current, you're bound to see echoes of your outfit everywhere.

The key to feeling it's your style is to develop signatures. Whether it's your haircut, jewellery, bag, footwear -- if you're really intentional in your choices, in time, that shows.

Lesley

Veteran

I was shopping in Anthropologie yesterday and the sales person and I had super similar outfits on, and similar wavy haircuts. She broke the ice saying, "I was just going to say you had a great outfit on, and then I realized we're both kind of wearing the same thing." We laughed about it. I think LaPed and Brooklyn are right on on this one. Some of my outfits are definitely uniquely me, but plenty are plays on what everyone's doing these days. That's okay! My shopping buddy and I bought the same jumpsuit at the Gap yesterday. We will check in with each other before parties, but frankly, we're adults, and we can acknowledge that we shop together and get good ideas from our friends sometimes. I feel like we earn the right as we age to have too much going on to sweat having 100% original outfits.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Once I wore the same dressy pantsuit in a different color to a fancy event. I just smiled.
At the open house for my grandmother’s 90th I was just pregnant enough to not fit in my clothes. I bought a fun swingy red dress. It had enough material to fit through the entire pregnancy. I was not small to begin with. My cousin from the other side of the country is quite thin and showed up in a fitted red dress. I was not so happy.

Loved the MOG/MOB story. What are the odds!

kellygirl

Veteran

It doesn't bother me much at all although I might be embarrassed if it was exactly the same outfit. It seems there are enough little tweaks that can make something similar slightly less so.

Anonymous

Sometimes similar outfits only highlight how much people don't look alike, but I think you're describing a conflict with this as a pattern rather than a single event. As an observer, if I even noticed (!) I would think it was interesting but not a definitive assessment of the creativity or individuality of either person!

You could try adding true classics in unusual colors or styles that are slightly modified from the true classic version?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I can’t remember ever having this happen to me, really. I guess if it did, I’d have a laugh about it.

bridgie

Veteran

My comments take a little different direction.:) Last week I was at a b&m store, in check out line. One person in front of me. I could not help but notice that the employee had on a nice looking navy and white polka dot blouse. The customer had on a nice looking navy and white polka dot blouse. Very possible they were identical. Now, I do not remember what I was wearing, but not my navy and white polka dot blouse. Mine is not the same as they were wearing, but I do have a blouse, a sweater, three or four items of clothing with navy and white polka dots, even shoes.

My thought, polka dots are over saturated. I know I will be less inclined to wear mine now.

Before this happened I did wear my blouse with gingham pants and a denim vest with denim and tan flats, and a new round (canteen?) bag, very pale pink with tan leather straps.

However, the fact remains, that I did wear a navy and white polka dot blouse, in spite of the thought that mine looked different. Thanks for reading. Not seeking any advice.

taylor

Veteran

To stearling’s point:
This is where your accessories, shoes and handbag will set you apart ....your statement pieces so to speak. Takes the ordinary to extra ordinary!
Your outfit sounds fabulous.

MsMaven

Veteran

The Cat has the right comment to make. Years ago I bought a two-piece outfit to wear to my son’s college graduation. It had a white silk top and a beautiful blue patterned silk skirt. Then a few weeks later I wore it to a wedding at the local mission. A second marriage for both so not too fancy.

The natron of honor wore the same outfit. I was kind of embarrassed. I told her she had excellent taste. Funny thing was most of the men didn’t notice. She was petite and I am tall.

Stephanie

It doesn't bother me either.

Staysfit

Veteran

Like Janet, I cannot recall having this experience before.

If it did happen, I would certainly complement the wearer on her good taste.

Sal

Veteran

It depends - there are some pieces that are universal - if I wears black puffer, skinny jeans and black boots or black Nike I would expect to see others wearing the same.

And I do recall seeing a group of women (5-6) where all but one had the True Religion Jeans - probably 10 years ago.

And I deliberately have different hair styles to my sisters and avoid a label that they both love....

I do try and have an individual style but of course trends play a part of this....

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