Showing off your lingerie....And sexy dressing after 50? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Showing off your lingerie....And sexy dressing after 50?

karymk

Veteran

Awhile back I showed you a beautiful red satin bra I bought at Agent Provocateur:

http://www.agentprovocateur.co.....na-bra~red

It's soooo beautiful that I wanted to integrate it as an actual clothing item, not just something hidden away in the boudoir. I think I figured out a way to do it, but have it on my mobile so will post on the YLF app.

I just saw this fab (to me) idea for lingerie lovers on Lady Melbourne:

http://www.ladymelbourne.com.a.....e-through/

I love how she layered the deep crimson chiffon blouse over the black elastic lingerie straps. To me it is not OTT because the effect is subtle and feminine. It may not be office wear, but for a special dinner out with your loved one I think it is very pretty and sexy.

If you read the explanation and then go to the Etsy store where she bought her over-bra harness, you will get the idea better. The store is a bit "goth" so be prepared, ladies. However, the harness straps being elastic, seem more palatable than if they were leather. Do you get me?

https://www.etsy.com/shop/Batt....._faveshops

I like the way the store owner has layered a simple black tank over her harness in one photo. I also thought it would be interesting to layer the elastic harness over a simple black tank dress, adding sexiness and structure to an otherwise utilitarian garment. In my mind, keeping the black harness either under or over black pieces "subdues" the naughty effect because the contrast between lingerie and garment is low. Were the black straps layered over say a light pink fitted tank or dress, the effect would amp up the heat factor and one would have to have a lot of confidence to pull off such a daring expression. Not for me.

Would you have the guts to try an overbra harness AND let it peekaboo from either under or over a garment? Seems like a cool addition to an edgier, sexy look, and I for one would be willing to try.

As for the Sexy Dressing over 50 part of my post here, let's move that to Off Topic.

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

rabbit

Veteran

I think the right harness with the right over-layer could look pretty smashing.

If it was an under-layer I think the straps would have to be somewhat substantial, and maybe a more durable material to look intentional, and even a bodycon under-layer would need to be tested to make sure it didn't bunch in funny ways. Anna has a top with a leather harness over it correct? I love that one. I think the looser straps help it.

If the harness was used as an under-layer with a chiffon blouse, I myself would go with very dark chiffon, probably with a higher neckline, and a full coverage black silky bra with absolutely no detail. That way there could be a kind of armature/x-ray effect showing through that would be edgy but subtle. I'd keep all other details very very minimal, like maybe no collar or buttons, and very plain elegant bottoms and shoes.

Having the harness straps peeking out the top of a wide cut or slightly dipped (maybe strapless/shoulder-less? or backless?) solid black blouse or tank would be interesting too (I'd probably wear something loose and flowy but more fitted might work also). The straps then would just be adding interest at the neckline and shoulders and/or back. I'd echo these graphic lines maybe with shoe straps or something down below.

I'd probably only wear this out at night for drinks or dancing, but in my opinion both looks could look really interesting if the rest of outfit was carefully constructed.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ms. Mary has a harness type bra that she has worn quite a few times the last way rabbit suggests. So the straps show in back but not in front. It has worked well on her and she is over 50!

I agree with rabbit's other comments. I probably would not do this myself, but only because I tend to the very modest side and a bit androgynous in my dressing. I think it could be an attractive look.

deb

Veteran

The etsy shop is a cool site. I would not personally wear the harness but would enjoy seeing it on others.

shedev

Veteran

I need to start my reply with this thought. I have and wear a chainmail bra top. It's not about guts.

I have a poison eye for the whole sheer top, bra showing look. To me it comes off more trying too hard than sexy. And a little dated.

I would wear a tight harness showing in the ways Rabbit suggested.

I'm not sure of the harness as an over layer. Would depend on the particular harness.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I absolutely love this look! LOVE!!! Thank you for sharing!

I am 43, and I have a couple of Marlies Dekkers bras that I let peek out over the neckline, but I have only done sheer at home. I also have a couple of bras with embellished straps, paired with off-the-shoulder tops - but the color palette has to match. It gives it a deliberate look, and my friends have often mistaken the straps as being part of the blouse.

I am definitely going to try this look, and will buy a harness after No (more) Buy(ing) July ends. It is a great way to get a Marlies Dekkers or other high end lingerie look for a lot less!

I don't believe there is an age limit on sexy, Karymk. You would totally rock this look!

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

Drat. I just deleted my whole post on this by going to another page before posting, and now I have to re-type. I was going to say that my 14 year old daughter wears this strappy sports bra from Brandy Melville <http://www.brandymelvilleusa.c.....p-001.html> with a low back sundress and it looks very good. I would probably not do it.

I also liked a recent post on these kind of bras from http://www.iwanttobeher.com/wa.....black-bra/ and I might consider it but ....

I would never wear the harness bra on the outside unless I was going for some kind of steam punk / costumey look.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Not for me. But I've never found even moderate cleavage a thing. I find it funny that there are all kinds of 'rules' about how much leg one shows, but somehow cleavage is more okay. Not in my world. Legs are for a purpose - they get us where we're going! Cleavage has only one connotation - sexy.

MsMary

Veteran

Strangely enough, I'd be more likely to wear a leather harness over my clothing than an elastic one. To me, "elastic" says "underwear" and I'd be more shy about wearing it on top.

And yes, I love to let my harness-y Marlies Dekker bra peek out from time to time.

This post has 3 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, I think there are a number of factors here that I'd take into consideration before giving a thumbs up or thumbs down. Here are a couple of my thoughts for what it's worth:
First, what works for someone in her early fifties might not work as well for someone in her mid-to late sixties. My feelings would depend on how far back one's 50th birthday actually was...
Second, where do you live?. In Europe or Montreal, I'd say without a doubt; in the large city, probably; in a bible-belt area or small town, could be risky.
Third, where are you going? A New Years' Eve house party with your husband and friends, go for it!; a $$$$ restaurant in a metropolitan city to celebrate your anniversary, might be a tad risque, but fun; a generic restaurant with full of youngish servers, might look a bit cougarish.

Enough with the qualifiers, though, because I think you see where I'm headed. I heartily endorse sexy dressing for senior ladies of ALL ages, but I think sexy has to be done with a big dose of sophistication, wit, and attitude in an older woman, instead of thinking of sexy dressing the way a younger woman would think of it. How far you can take it probably depends more you and your situation than any rules because it will be a more individual expression of how you see yourself.

karymk

Veteran

I LOVEEEEEE what Maryk has shown above. That's what I am going for! I would EITHER show the straps at the neckline OR the back, but not both.

I'm going to get a harness and try it out for you all and see what you think. I'm pretty sure of myself when it comes to self-styling, I don't think I'd ever let myself go too far. I think you can be a modest dresser like I am most of the time, and still have fun with sexy underthings.
Suz, I think having a little lace or intentional strap showing out of a mannish look would be soooo cute. Oxfords, a pinstripe shirt with a peep of strapping or lace, and jeans could be adorable.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I have more than one Marlies Dekkers bras. The last time I wore on under a sheer top was to a burlesque show. But Marlies Dekkers as a rule have more cup coverage, so the sexy is tempered that is not the way with the demi cup of the Agent Provocateur.
I also have more than one leather body harness. Two from Sass and Bide and one from R13. The Sass and Bide's are more like accessories than sexy.
The black R13 leather harness I wore to the play production of "Venus in Furs". Which turned out to be VERY appropriate.
Basically as Gaylene said, context and location is everything.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I love a little visible pretty bra strap. Why not. It's just a strap. But the boob has to be covered.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

IMHO, to look sexy in the most tasteful way, if you're going up do sheer, then the bra coverage should be a bit more, well, covered than a demi bra -- to
Anna's point. I like the idea of a longline bra or something like one of the Marlies Dekker styles, but frankly, I tread really carefully in this territory because I'm pretty well-endowed. What looks cutely sexy on a smaller busted woman looks vulgar on me. Bummer because my boobs are actually one of the better features of my body!

I guess what I'm really getting at is that there are a lot of variables in getting this kind of look right -- and they differ widely depending on the individual's personal style, body, personality and comfort level. And then there is the whole question of when and where the look works... I think we all have different "guidelines"!

cciele

Veteran

I agree with Anna and Janet. I like the Marlies Dekkers bra because of the boob coverage (I have the one Mary has, plus another one that has multiple chains of charms across the front).

I also have some leather harness for over-clothing, but those are pretty hardcore -- and it all has to do with context, for sure.

I like the idea of those elastic harnesses! It's basically like a neckpiece that goes over the bra. I think it is awesome you will try them out karymk. You can definitely have fun with the lingerie at any age!

Sal

Veteran

I am not sure if any of you read the blog "Style on the Couch" but the blog author has some stylish harnesses which she wears as outerwear.

http://styleonthecouch.com/201.....neteen-13/

Echo

Veteran

I love the way MaryK does this, although I agree with Gaylene regarding the appropriateness of sheer, the location and context. It is really, really easy to go too far in one direction or another with sheer + interesting lingerie, IMO ("cougar", trying too hard, dated, etc.).

Susie

Veteran

I think Gaylene's take on this is spot on. I love how Mary has styled hers. I'm not really a fan of a sheer top, for any age or figure, but do agree that the look works better with more coverage.

I do like to see a peek of lace or a pretty strap. I find a subtle hint to be more alluring than a blatant statement.

Style Fan

Veteran

I agree with Angie. I love seeing a pretty bra strap. Why would they make them so beautiful if they were not to be seen? I also have a harness type bra and the straps show on that one. I personally would not wear a sheer top in public. I might have in my twenties but now that I am almost 59 forget it.

Gem

I actually have one of these. It's a fun thing for a night out, or for performance wear. For evenings out I usually wear it under a black top that allows it to be seen but a sheer blouse would look cool too. Might try that next.

Oh and hubby thinks it's sexy but not OTT.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Yes, you can pull it off!

Deborah

Veteran

Love the harness idea but for me not under a sheer top. It is simply a look I would not be comfortable with. I have been enamored with the HL asymmetric bra and I can see these harnesses working in a similar manner to add something unusual to an outfit, but I would always layer in under a solid top. Having said that, I would like to see what you do with it Kary;)

karymk

Veteran

Deborah what's HL? Helmut Lang?

rachylou

Veteran

I like harness belts a lot. A big fan. I'm not so a big fan of your regular bra strap. I think it's because they're neither-nor - not thin like a spaghetti strap and not wide like an actual garment shoulder.

But you know, it's not clear to me harness belts are sexy. They imply work to me, working to be sexy. And if you have to work that hard at it... I just don't know... But then my perspective is skewed by where I live.