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Shopping with my big girl pants on

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

As much as I would like to be shopping for winter date night clothes, the truth is I have enough for my upcoming opportunities to wear them. This winter I am trying to act like a big girl by putting budget toward fixing the stuff that I really wear every day.

1) The biggest winter expense so far has been a new dog-walking barn coat. I'll probably wear it 1.5-2 hours per day. It's warm and completely functional for then next 120-150 days that I am home. It's just not the city winter coat I wanted. But my schedule looks like I won't spend 2 weeks away this winter, and some of that might be in warmer places.

2) If I am going to be a big girl in a farm coat, at least I can upgrade my hat/mittens/etc, right? Before YLF, I bought strictly for function and price, and I hang onto this stuff forever. The outcome is a mismatched set of stuff that does not make me happy and I need it multiple times every day. So the next chunk of change is going into upgrades that I like better and go with my palette. (BTW finding a wind-blocking head band without a logo centered like a bullseye in the forehead is a chore.)

3) More boring but necessary purchases are going to preempt the budget for city pretties. Tops to fix is my daily wear Keen booties that shrank (how can that be?) I'd much rather get some cobalt smoking slippers.

4) I need to find a hairstyle that can be cut by local talent. My hair is difficult to cut, my trust level is low with new stylists, and most of the haircuts I see around the village make me wonder if the only beauty magazines available are the decades-old issues in the community clinic waiting room. But the truth is, I'm not going to town often enough to maintain my cut and that really drags down the fab factor.

5) If I'm going to hunker down on the farm all winter, I'm making a cozy evening capsule for the first time, and that needs a big think. DH hates my preferred fleecy pants but I get cold in tight leggings. I'm watching the loungewear threads for inspiration. I might even live dangerously and get another pair of slippers.

Choosing to be grateful for having enough, while admiring all the impractical-for-me pretties that pass by in the Finds. And trying hard to make better, fab-inducing choices for every day. What's been your big-girl choice lately?

Shopping

26 replies

Latest reply was from Ginger

Renee P

Is your hair super curly? If so, you may want to put a place in your budget for a good stylist who knows curly hair. You don't want to go to someone who doesn't know what s/he is doing and then wind up crying in the chair and wanting to wear hats forever. I know this from first hand experience. =(

Sara L.

Veteran

One of the first lessons I learned from YLF was to stop buying for a fantasy lifestyle. It's been a tough lesson to learn but I finally have a good selection of casual clothes that I want to wear on the weekends.

Sal

Veteran

It sounds super sensible and very grown up Ann!

And I think having a coat and hat that you love make you feel terrific.

Yes hair can be a battle if you don't have ready access to a range of salons - definitely a simple cut with a couple of good products.

I am no expert on lounge gear for the winter but did have a super cosy possum/merino blend waterfall cardigan that was lovely to wear, fitting in the arms for dishes, but cosy on the couch!!

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Renee, yes I have naturally curly hair. One of the trade-offs of my lifestyle is the kind of stylist you are talking about is a 3.5 hour drive away. I'm going to have to find a cut that can be managed locally.

Sara, agreed!

Sally, being a grown-up is hard when YLF channels the teenage years I kind of missed out on. I would love a possum anything!

Ginger

Veteran

Go you! This is a tough mindset to get into, and even harder to keep. But it sounds like you're determined. It won't last forever, especially once you get these big items taken care of.

When I get extra cold in the house, I like to layer fleece-lined tights or leggings under some looser knit leggings. Long tunic sweaters are nice. Also slim-fitting layering tees/turtlenecks/sweaters under tunic-length cardigans, hoodies, or sweater coats. I got this Simply Vera tunic that feels like a sweatshirt, but is cozy as an outer layer. No drapey bits to get in the way of housework, either. I long for one of the Prairie Underground long cloak hoodies, but I think they'll always be out of my price range!

Simply Vera Vera Wang Simply Breathe Cowlneck Dress - Women's

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PRAIRIE UNDERGROUND 'Cloak' Long French Terry Hoodie

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Rubygirl

I the same as you have a hard time with trying a new stylist.However I am going to be doing that on Nov 05th. I will be getting my first ever deva curl haircut. It is specific to curly hair. I am not looking to have much length trim as much as I am to seeing what they do. The owner of the shop is going to be doing my hair. Here and a mother specialize in the devacurl cut and style.

Good Luck

Anonymous

I wanted to get some projects at my house out of the way, so I put on my big girl panties and started shopping in my closet for the past year (with one little cheat at Costco for less than $100). So now, I've saved enough to get my 1963 windows replaced with nice new energy-efficient ones. Not very glamorous, but I've been wanting to do this since I moved in to the house in 1998. Thanks, big girl panties, for keeping me on track!

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Ginger - cute tunic. Something like that might work well.

Rubygirl - jealous! I checked their map, nearest stylist is only 150 miles away. Maybe when I next go to the city....

Xtabay - new windows are so spendy but so worth it. We did that in my last house, replacing 1920s factory originals. Costco is awesome for basics.

JAileen

Veteran

For the upcoming winter I concentrated on jackets, boots, and hats, all gear. I needed a warm visored hat and found one at Patagonia, a fleece one from North Face (with giant logo!) and plan to knit another Fair Isle
French Explorer's hat. I also found some cheapo fleece gloves at Sports Authority for 73 cents per pair, so I bought several pairs. The main thing about all of the new items, including jackets and boots, is that the colors are harmonious together, which makes me happy. All of this is for my real life, not my imaginary one. In that life, I go out to lunch a lot!

As for keeping warm in the house, I have a couple pairs of sweats from Lands End that don't look awful. I usually put them on after a chilly day of hiking/birding.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

RA I so enjoyed reading your list and you have a great sense of humor. I hope people acknowledge you for that?

I truly relate to what you're saying. I live in a rural area but with an increasingly mild climate. We used to get snow but it seems the past few year, no longer (sob, I love snow). I tend to shop like a teenager who's just gotten a high limit credit card. Which is to say, for my seldom used city capsule. On my list:

- Better sleepwear for both cold and hot temps. I'm tired of pants with no more elastic, relying solely on a beat up drawstring. I have a need for a much larger sleep capsule than I own, since I am of a certain age where daily or every other day fresh clothes are required. Cough cough.

- Accessories that match my footwear. Belts and bags. This is more of a fun, not essential category but doesn't take up a lot of space and can be reasonably priced.

Both of these are along the lines of -- you use them often why not go better. As in your gloves and hats. Makes a lot of sense.

Speaking of which, I'd love some gorgeous matching leashes for my two large senior-ish dogs (9 and 8, Border Collie and Black Lab). As they've gotten older they walk in perfect sync. FINALLY.

As for loungewear, I believe in big cozy cardigans and boyfriend jeans.

JAileen

Veteran

Cocolion, I have two terriers and they have matching black leashes. Their collars match, too, but are different colors. Here they are with earlier plaid versions.

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Janet

(website)

Veteran

Great practical thinking, but it will also increase your enjoyment of what you wear so often!

Right now the practical wardrobe need I have that I've been ignoring is hosiery. My socks are all getting worn and old. So not exciting to shop for.

Greyscale

Veteran

The hat and glove update sounds like a lot of fun, even if it's practical!

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

You guys are making me feel better.

Cocolion, you are cracking me up about the sleepwear. Have you been in my closet?

I assigned our puppy a color and all of his stuff is supposed to be blue. DH sort of complies. He now has a matching collar and leash-the puppy, not DH.

Janet - I just grabbed some wool socks at Costco. Not exciting at all. Absolutely necessary.

Greyscale - everything in my cart right now is black or grey. I did find some gloves that have fingertips for texting. I'll probably knit some flip-top mittens for when it gets colder if I get them. AND not out of leftover yarn just because it's there! Maybe I could get a cobalt fix that way.

anne

Veteran

Ann, could you wear tights under a warm knit skirt for winter cozy wearing?

As for sensible choices, mine is to spend most of my money on sandals for the upcoming Australian summer. Shoes are things I actually wear out, and I'm in danger of the 2 pairs of everyday sandals I have breaking. One is about 3 years old and really should be thrown out - it may break in half at any moment! The other was bought only last year, but the silver coating is cracking a bit already.

Oh and I need to buy another dress for my hot summer capsule because I got bleach stains on last year's.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I enjoyed this post, and I agree with CocoLion--I appreciate your sense of humor!
What about skinny corduroys and long sweaters for lounging at home? Would they be warm enough? I live in jeans on my days off, and on colder days, I switch to cords.
Could you knit yourself a cool headband?
The hair is a challenge. I survived a year at a remote Army post with sporadic, not very good haircuts. I grew out my short cut to shoulder-length. I had to wear it up every day once it was past the top edge of my collar, so I invested in bobby pins and elastics. Tres chic (not)!

Helen11

Veteran

I'm just chuckling at the idea of getting hairstyle updates from the magazines in the community clinic waiting room! Good luck with the new hairdresser. I know a good haircut always makes me feel fab.

lyn67

Veteran

Sterling had a great thread on her new & fab loungewear capsule of cashmere items, maybe it worth the spurge for you, too!:-)

Anonymous

I think it's great that you're on the Practical Path, RA. It doesn't have to be boring. For me, just buying things that all coordinate together really makes me happy, regardless of whether they're loungewear or public- wear.
Do you have Birkenstocks? Those might be a stylish alternative to slippers during the winter, if you wear them with socks.
What about some fun socks that peak out of your boots/shoes.
Dogs and fleece don't work well together, so I'm wondering if that's DH's problem with the fleece pants? Jogging pant material might be an alternative.

I don't seem to be buying at all right now! I need new tires, and would like to top up my savings. I think this plan is even more boring than windows!

Ginger

Veteran

Ooh! Forgot to mention that I really like the Target winter accessories section for hats, scarves, and gloves. (Reasonably-priced leather gloves, even, in fun colors and styles.) They tend to have a lot of variety in style, but a lot of coordinates as well. I know what you mean about having them match - it feels meh in a mis-match, but awesome when you're coordinated.

Ginger

Veteran

The Simply Vera tunic/dress isn't super heavy, so make sure there's room for layering underneath. Depending on my activity level I can go from shivering to get-this-turtleneck-OFF, so numerous light layers are my favorite way to go in the winter.

Come to think of it, the whole "Simply Breathe" line might be exactly what you're looking for. As comfortable as gear, but cut with hints of edge and avant-garde style.
http://www.kohls.com/search.js.....eb-regular

tulle

Veteran

Ann, I'm in much the same situation, so I know how hard it is to keep those dressy, polished clothes to an appropriate minimum, and focus on the sturdy, yet attractive, things needed for rural life. If only sturdy-yet-attractive weren't so difficult to find! Last year I realized that Winters are too long here to suffer through with drab outerwear and mismatched accessories. I'm making an effort this year to stock my closet with warm hats, gloves and scarves that coordinate with different coats and jackets. I adore cashmere, so that where I'm investing. If you go to the GILT website, you'll find a lovely bunch of Portolano cashmere hats, headbands, gloves and wraps in varied colors at great prices (hurry, though, as they seem to be selling out quickly.) Cashmere may seem like a luxury fabric, but it's actually quite practical--warm, lightweight and washable. I have cashmere lounging pants, too, in gray and black, that are warm and comfy, but drapey and attractive, too--a nice alternative to fleece pants at home. Corduroy jeans are my favorite for wearing outdoors in cold weather; the pile adds warmth and luster, colors are interesting, and the fabric is tough, comfortable and machine washable. Silk turtlenecks and J. Crew tissue tees make great underlayers for oversized sweaters and tunics. Boots that are practical and stylish give a sturdy wardrobe a lift, and are worth spending on. A few good-looking handbags help, too. As for the haircut problem: I hear you! I try to get to town every 2-3 months, and ask for a cut that will look reasonably good for that long. Good luck with your Wardrobe for the Way You Live--you have lots of company trying to make that work!

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

You all are so awesome.
Links to Sterling's very helpful loungewear capsule thread and Anne's thread on loungewear semantics

1) I'm going to have to in-person shop for this new cozy capsule. Next month I have a 2 night trip to town, so I will schedule some "me" shopping time instead of the usual Costco-shopping-for-the-apocalyspe run. I need to try different silhouettes and pant rises to figure out what will work.

2) DH - I think it's the fleece+jogger pant look. One or the other would be ok, but not both, all the time, all black. He doesn't complain hardly ever, but I know he likes it when I step away from the fleece.

3) As for winter accessories, I'm shopping pure gear for its functionality, but the red and navy headband with the kelly green gloves does not pass muster anymore. It never did, really. Why do I put up with almost-but-not-quite-right for so long? My dress-up winter scarves/hats/gloves are in good shape, but I don't want to wear that for puppy training, and wind-stopping fabric is a lifesaving miracle of engineering.

Smittie - a new hoodie won't save your life like a good set of tires will.

Ginger - do they have that line in stores or only on-line?

Tulle - I'd never heard of Gilt, I'll take a look. Now that I've settled on a palette for my city clothes, I want to extend it to everything in my closet. Not sure how I'd feel about cashmere. Even during downtime there's cooking, pet wrangling and the occasional turkey or goose break-out emergency. It sounds scrumptious, like what I'd want for a B&B weekend AWAY. I can haz vacation? Pleaz? Great, now I'm wanting to shop for an even more imaginary capsule for vacations.

Anonymous

Yes, you can haz vacay. With cashmere! No turkey or goose-chasing.

tulle

Veteran

Ann, because I'm sort of addicted to cashmere, I'm not willing to cave on this: a touch of luxury is even MORE important when you are chasing geese and wrangling pets (or in my case, scraping a wooden walkway, cleaning out the pellet stove, planting bulbs) so I have two categories: Newish, pretty, part-of-an-outfit cashmere; and older, worn-but-comfortable cashmere. Cashmere makes me happy, whether it comes from J. Crew or the thrift store (actually, a thrift-shop Pringle of Scotland sweater lasts longer and looks better than the J. Crew stuff) and fleece, though of course I have some, depresses me.

Ginger

Veteran

I think both online and in store; it varies from piece to piece, and probably by region. I ordered the dress thingie, because I saw it online but it wasn't in any stores within 50 miles. (There are a lot of stores in my area.) But I tried on one of the long jackets with the big hood-looking collars last time I was in; there were other pieces there, too.

The strategy that works best for me is to order a bunch of things (including multiple sizes, if you're not sure) and try everything on at home. Then you can return everything that doesn't work in the store, so no return postage or delay. Their stock tends to turn over fairly fast. Not necessarily the Vera Wang and other collections, but they do sell out.