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Shopping with Kids for their own clothes...

Theresa

(website)

Veteran

I'm curious - for those of you that shop for kids...

When you let them choose, how long do they take to choose? Are they quite particular? Have they become more so since your YLF involvement? When did they start to have strong opinions?

I've had to buy both girls a pair of summer sandals this week and it was interesting...

Miss G - 4.5yrs - loved the first pair I showed her (I only showed her the ones I approved of!), and she is by far my most particular child - will ONLY wear dresses or skirts (has to be bribed to wear pants/shorts!), has very definite likes/dislikes, colour preferences etc. But she always has, so I think I was able to pick a pair of shoes I knew she'd love.

Miss E - 6.5yrs - on the other hand... well, she's always been very "eclectic" (my way of saying she just puts on anything with no regard for how it works LOL), so I actually thought shoe shopping for her would be easy - just show her a couple of pairs I liked and she'd be happy....

BOY was I wrong!! Between her now going to school, so having grown up a lot, and her taking more notice of what I've been doing with my wardrobe, and discussing clothing a lot more, she has become INCREDIBLY particular!

I think it took 45 minutes and trying on about 12 pairs of shoes before she finally settled on a pair! And because she was capable of seeing the stores stock and articulating that she wanted to try on other pairs, we had some "interesting" moments LOL

I did manage to convince her that the shoes that were hurting her in store weren't going to be bought - shoes that hurt are never worth it I kept telling her ROFL.

I have to say, though, this shopping trip was really an eye opener for me to see just how much Em has taken in, and just how much she has grown up - she is no longer my little girl - she really is becoming quite a big girl with very strong opinions!

So it just got me curious as to whether your kids changed with YLF's influence, or do you think it might just be an age/maturity/exposure thing... etc! I'd love to know just how much more difficult this could get as they approach the teen years!!!

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from Barbara

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Thanks for sharing Theresa, I'm not at that stage yet but I'm so looking forward to future shopping trips with the girls.

Teah did say to me last week at age 3 that 'she just fancied something new,' which made me laugh.

Anonymous

Well, my DD isn't quite old enough to be thinking about what works together and what doesn't, but my husband and I have both noticed that she has a good eye and KNOWS what she likes and doesn't like. I've never seen that in a little girl before! I often give her two options: this or that, and she chooses one. Did that with sunglasses last summer, and without skipping a beat, she chose a pair of light turquoise "Jackie O." style glasses. I was kinda hesitant, thinking maybe they were TOO fashionable for a 3yo, but nope; they look stunning on her, and she wears them with such pride and class But what cracked me up the most was how she would NOT back down from her decision. THOSE were the ones she wanted, and THOSE were the ones we had to get ; )

Same thing with shoes. This girl LOVES shoes! Took her to the store the other day, and from the end of the aisle, she spied a pair of silver satin ballet slippers. I was looking for walking/running/play shoes for her, but she SO POLITELY asked to try the silver shoes on, fell in love, and very sweetly asked, "Can we get them please?" Well, how do you say no to stars in the eyes AND "please"? ; ) I'm not usually one to indulge in all her shoe and accessory wants (that's DH's department), but I'd been doing lots of shoe shopping for myself (with her as a tagalong. She thought she was in shoe heaven in the Clarks and Stride Rite stores! OH MY!!), so I guess she had shoes on the brain : )

At LEAST she's able to make up her mind fairly quickly.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Oh boy!
Mine are 14 and 11, and it's certainly an interesting experience. My son (14)- won't wear anything unless it's solid black and plain. Sometimes I can coax him into something dark heathered gray or white if he can layer it. He's cold all the time, but hasn't really grasped the concept of layering well, or different fabrics/styles that would keep him warmer in winter, so that's a challenge.
DD can always find something that she likes, but is in a difficult to fit stage. Junior sizes are still usually too long on her if they fit around her, but the kids sizes that fit her length are too big around, and occasionally she can find a women's XS that fits (yes, my 11 year old is the same size as some of the ladies here!). She has actually developed a good eye for fashion, and is learning to accessorize and coordinate colors. But she's my sensory picky kid, so we have to try everything on to make sure it passes the comfort test. Her feet are also very sensitive. Every time I have to get her a new pair of shoes for dance, we drive an hour away to a big warehouse dance store, because she tries on a dozen different styles before she can find ballet shoes that fit and don't bother her feet.
It gets difficult because they have their own opinions, and those don't necessarily match mom's (or mom's budget!), but it gets easier as they learn to actually shop for themselves. I can now go into a store like H&M or Old Navy that has different departments and set the kids off on a mission. They can find an item, try it on and decide if they like it without much input from me anymore- and that's sort of a relief.

Sparky

Veteran

Interesting thread! My just-turned-7 boys are quite easy to shop for. I buy most of their clothes online since they are still easy to fit (thank goodness for all the retailers with slim sizing for pants and jeans) or else at tag/rummage sales. I just show them the new clothes and their reaction is usually "Cool! Awesome!" I sometimes shop online with them, so they can pick out the color of shoes or shirts from the options available. But they are very easy going.

My 9-yo DD used to be quite easy to shop for in the same way but now she has a lot more opinions on how things must look just so. I'm still able to get away with doing a lot of online shopping with her, she just joins me to look at the options. It's much less stressful, I think, than traipsing around a store with kids in tow. When clothes arrive, she does a round of trying on in the house with me and anything that doesn't work out just gets returned. Again, easy and not stressful.

All three kids, especially my daughter, get a lot of hand-me-downs from friends and are happy with those. I wouldn't say that they have become more particular about clothing or style since I've been with YLF, at least not yet.

Theresa, DD used to only wear dresses for several years. Now, however, she only wears jeans and pants, unless it is a special occasion.

Traci

Veteran

Ahhh, gone are the days when I could just buy a bunch of clothes, eyeball the fit, and know my kids would wear them.

8yo dd, I can still buy the basics, tshirts and stretchy pants. This is her daily uniform. She takes comfort over style. For dressy occasions, she has strong opinions and I have yet to figure out the rhyme or reason for her choices. I often take pictures of things with my phone and text them to wherever she is at, because I know if I try to figure it out on my own I'm likely to make the wrong choice.

13yo dd is so particular about fit that I just set her loose in the store. I do have to insist that she try things on, otherwise she would just buy things and then find out they don't fit after she has ripped the tags off. I also have to insist on seeing the clothes on her before I agree to buy them. She has a tendency to think that too tight things are okay. A few times I've let her shop with her dad, or I've taken her word that something fit well, we've ended up with pants whose zippers busted under stress, or t-shirts that were outgrown w/i a month's time.

I typically buy them the basic necessities and then they have to use their own money, from allowance, or holidays, or babysitting jobs, to buy the fashion stuff. I think doing it that way cuts down on stress and lets them have some independence in how they look.

Queen Mum

Veteran

Mine are all teenagers now and I rarely shop with them. IF they need me to tag along (because I have the credit card, or the Kohl's coupon) I go do my own browsing and they come find me when they are ready.
My 17 year old has been working at Pac Sun for about 6 months and let me tell you, he's got quite the stylin' wardrobe these days. I'm not sure how much paycheck actually makes it to his bank account, but at least he's not asking me for money

Kate

Veteran

I don't have kids, but I do have memories of clothes from my childhood. I'm the oldest of 3, and my mom usually shopped for me through pretty much all of elementary school (until about age 12) because it was much easier than bringing my all three of us shopping. I didn't voice many opinions about clothes, except that I didn't like anything girly (no ruffles, bows, lace, etc) and my mom respected that. I definitely wore some clothes that I wasn't fond of because my mom liked them and they fit, and remixing was quite foreign to me because my mom would buy clothes as outfits, and so I would wear them as their set outfit.

Looking back, I realize it would have been difficult for my mom to take us all shopping together, but I wish I had been more involved in the process of picking them out. If something didn't fit or I really hated it she would return it, so I had some say in the matter. Yet, I think it would have benefited me when I started shopping for myself if I had grown up picking pieces I loved, and learning how to mix and match new clothes with the ones I already had.

edit: I also should mention that once I was old enough that I would always go shopping with my mom (or by myself) my parents implemented an annual shopping budget. In middle school and early high school this meant that before we went shopping my mom would check and tell me how much money I had left for the year, so I could decide while shopping what was worth an investment, and when to be thrifty. Once I was old enough to go shopping alone, they would transfer 1/4 of the annual budget to my bank account every three months, so that I couldn't blow through the year's worth all at once. It worked really well for teaching me how to budget, and meant that instead of my parents telling me something was too expensive, I had to think about the implications of an expensive purchase and decide for myself if it was worth spending the money.

cloud9

Veteran

My kids are not super picky about clothes, but definitely have their opinions. If I give my 7y boy a plain shirt without any prints or picture, he won't wear them outside "it's missing something, mommy". He's asked for $50 sneakers, too. He's the one that told me to wear more dresses because "you look prettier in a dress." lol.

My 3yr girl definitely has her princess moments. She is quite opinionated and definitely will voice out on things she doesn't like. Right now I can usually coax her into something that I want her to have, and talk her out of something out of my price range. Probably not for much longer though...

Kari

Veteran

Oh, how funny. They definitely have distinct personalities and tastes, don't they?

I don't have kids either, but your Miss G. sounds exactly like me when I was the same age. Frilly skirts and dresses all the way, and I remember fussing at my mom when she made me wear pants because it was snowing outside!
According to my mom, when I saw something that was a bit too "wild" and not girly enough to suit my tastes, I'd shake my head and say "Mommy, that's too jazzy."

When I hit age 8, suddenly dresses were passé, and all I wanted to wear was stretch pants and oversized fluorescent tee shirts and slip-on Keds. (This was during the early '90s.)

Sally

Veteran

My nearly 5 son is pretty laid back about what he wears. He likes a picture on his t-shirt wiggles dinosaurs etc and in this weather just wears sandals and shorts too.
His Dad bought him some very fancy (and expensive) button down shirts which he wouldn't wear to pre-school as he said they were too smart...apparently other kids had made comments on them. He does like to dress up as a vampire and pirate so anything goes really when he goes out.he loves hats..he may go out in a pirate hat with shorts and t-shirt. He also insisted on having a belt with his jeans.
A guy at his preschool who has a daughter (4years) said she is very particular and matches her dress to her bracelet and is quite concerned about clothes.

Marigold

It's funny to ready stories like that! It makes me wonder what's in store for us (Missy is 1.5 so she has no say in what to wear yet). Well, actually scratch that! I just realized she did not want to wear a summer hat in summer, no matter what style, and no matter distractions, but that's not fashion conscience yet... I want her to take an active part in dressing when she gets older, but I also hope she'll take my insight into consideration.
My friend was a nanny to twin boys and they were very particular about matching their socks to their shirts, no kidding, at age 5. When I was a kid, I wore a lot of handmade clothes (my grandma crocheted, knit and sew) as those were the communist times back in my country and sadly, there was nothing in the stores! I think I got my first pair of jeans at the end of elementary school...

mumtojessandluke

DD Almost 4 has just thrown a tantrum, yep another one about having to wear pants. She sounds like your DD. Her favorite skirt is in the wash :(.
I shop for her online, and give her the choice of t-shirts ect, but I only pick those that I approve. And she is understanding if there is something she likes but is not in her size. Her last shop she said to me "two of those ones, and two of those ones ect" LOL. Shoes are difficult, as she only likes particular shoes then wears them until they are falling apart. But she is keen to tell me what shoes I can wear.
It's raining today, and no I don't want to wear MY gold sandals. And if she wants to wear a skirt she can over the top of her tracksuit pants. She also likes to add necklaces and bracelets. You just have to watch her like a hawk in the shops because she likes things a little too much, and tries to just take them. Online is much easier. The joys of girls.

DS wears hand me downs. I've been very fortunate to have a lovely friend that has two boys and is finished her family, so hands them on to me. At 20mths, he wears what we want mainly. He does like his puffer sleeveless jackets, and will bring me stuff to put on him. Unfortunately, in summer he really doesn't need jackets! Oh, and he HATES shorts, trying to pull them down constantly to make them long pants. LOL. He will have to get used to shorts.

Anonymous

These stories remind me of a friend's daughter. When she was 11, she needed an Easter dress but refused to wear any of her mother's choices. Finally she burst out, "I don't WANT an Easter dress! I want a BUSINESS SUIT!

Theresa

(website)

Veteran

I have just loved reading all the shopping stories!!! Thanks for sharing!! I was never given any say in my clothing until I was 16 and earning my own money so this is quite an interesting experience for me!

Julie your little Teah reminded me that Georgie was in tears the other night and I eventually got out of her what was wrong...

"Everybody else has prettier clothes than me and you and Emma"

LOL All because a little girl at kindy had a skirt with sequins on it and Georgie thought it was prettier than the one she was wearing!! I've had to promise her that we will make her some new pretty clothes over the summer holidays!

And those of you with older kids have given me some great insight into whats ahead!!

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

My little boys LOVE clothes. They love colour, they love sheen, they love patterns and texture. In fact, they love clothes so much that they will sometimes wear two or three outfits each a DAY. (No wonder, come to think of it, I spend so much time washing.) At the shops, they will have preferences for certain styles and colours. Often bright. If it features some character "of the moment" all the better. (Although I try to dissuade them from these choices.)

In terms of style, though - I have to say they are creative but often have no clue whether something works or not. (Hmmmmm, actually, that sounds just like me a lot of the time!)

Example: Master 6, appeared in short, shiny forest green soccer shorts, paired with red canvas shoes and a baggy yellow t-shirt from Bali yesterday (which of course meant that only around 1 1/2" of short was showing). It was quite a combo, I can tell you and I had a silent chuckle at his choice of attire! Still, he was happy with his look. I figure that he'll work it out (one day). At least he likes colour, right?!

marsh

My DS is now 13 and is now finally starting to have opinions on his clothing. Up to this point I was always able to pick out anything and he was fine with it. Now he wants his jeans to only be a light wash and refuses to wear long sleeve Tshirts. He will wear short sleeve Ts with a sweatshirt over it. His weakness is name brand tennis shoes.
My 16yr old DD on the other hand has always given me fits on clothing. She was very opinionated from a very young age. Over the years she has went through many phases with clothes. At the age of 5 or 6 she went through the dress phase. Then it was on to stretchy pants & Tshirts. She didn't start wearing jeans until 6th grade. For the last several years it was jeans and school sport T's. :0 I couldn't get her to wear a nice top to save my life! This last year she has finally started wanting to dress nicer and a bit more fashionable, but she still plays it very safe. She refuses to wear a dress unless we go to a wedding. Since I have started following YLF she will sometimes surprise me by remixing my clothes for me. She does a great job and has come up with combos I wouldn't have thought of. I know as she grows she will continue coming into her own style.
For those who have very opinionated kids when it comes to clothing, I suggest you set guidelines and criteria that their clothing has to meet. For us it was: DD; no low cut tops, pass the sit test with low rise jeans, no writing on butt of sweats, no short shorts. Give them a certain amount of money for a clothing budget and let them go for it.

Barbara

Veteran

This post is SO entertaining! My son went through the dinosaur stage at 5 - every shirt had T Rex front and center. As a pre-teen, he dressed in a uniform of non-logo tee and jeans. But he HAD to have Vans skater shoes!

He's grown into quite a fashionable and hip 25-year old young man.

WHEW. All you moms with girls are both tolerant and patient! Impressive.